What's a novel that makes your aunt laugh?

Ex-boyfriend was injured by a falling object, brain damage, mental deterioration back to 8 years old.

He asked me to shave him, but I put up with it for the money.

He asked for a hug and a goodnight kiss, and said all the other kids on TV had it, so I put up with it.

He was afraid of the dark and wanted to sleep in my bed, for money's sake... I put up with it.

But he stole my leg socks!

This is really unbearable!

1

Big night, Gu Yuan led Gu Eucalyptus came to my door, the hospital diagnosis to my hand over: "my brother was hit after 30 days in a coma, woke up and found that he lost most of his memory, intelligence also degenerate back to the level of an eight-year-old child."

I BIG FRIGHTEN: "LOOK FOR ME STEM? Not I STEM!"

Gu YUAN: "MY BROTHER IS IN YOUR HOUSE DOWNSTAIRS BE SMASHED."

Me: "That doesn't prove I did it!"

Gu Yuan: "He came to you for a reason, maybe he wants to get back together with you."

I calmed down. "No way."

Gu Eucalyptus is a very indifferent person in emotion. Although we are in love for more than a year, we are actually no different from ordinary friends. He has never approached me, and we can count on one hand the kissing and hugging that couples do.

A few months ago, I cried and said, "You don't have me in your heart at all. You don't even know my birthday. You were hospitalized with pneumonia for half a month, and I heard it from your friend.

At that time Gu eucalyptus Cu eyebrow looked at me, do not seem to understand why I make a fuss, suddenly lose his temper.

I instantly feel strange hypothetic, wipe tears and say: "I don't like you, we break up."

Gu Eucalyptus did not say a word to stay.

There's no way a guy like that would want to get back together.

"The doctor said he had a large blood stasis in his brain that was affecting his brain activity, and that it would probably return to normal once the congestion had cleared up. In the meantime, it would be good to have someone or something that could stimulate him to speed up the process." "I thought of you. After all, you were the last person he wanted to see before he passed out," Gu said.

"Well, maybe he was just passing through."

"After all, you were lovers once. Don't you want him to be healthy?"

I hesitated to say, "Well... I wish I could, but..."

His sister took out a card: "There are 100,000, take good care of him, two months later the money is yours."

I took the card: "OK."

"......" Gu Yuan smiled, handed the suitcase into my hand, and pushed the man toward me. "There are some of his daily necessities and clothes in it. If you need anything else, you can tell me at any time, and you can reimburse me."

I looked at Gu Eucalyptus's quiet face and nodded.

...

I shut the door, and it was just me and my eight-year-old ex-boyfriend.

I looked at him for a long time, but he did not respond.

Is that what happens when your brain is broken? That seems pretty normal.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked tentatively.

"Auntie."

Rely on.

"No, I am your master."

He said clearly, "Master?"

"After that, you will obey me and serve me, and you will do what I tell you to do."

He pursed his lips, as if a little hard to accept.

I patted his shoulder comfort: "Rest assured, I will not bully you."

He smiled. "Good."

It's nice to be duped.

I dig out the unused pillows and throw them on the sofa: "You can sleep here."

He looked at the narrow sofa and made no objection.

I had hardly got back to bed when there was a knock at the door.

Gu Eucalyptus stood at the door: "I want to take a bath."

I am very impatient: "TODAY not wash."

"My sister said, take a bath every day, or your body will smell."

"Smelly Bai, anyway you sleep alone."

He looked at me fixedly.

Have to.

I opened the bathroom door: "Then you wash."

He looked at me and began to undress.

I'm cool with my shirt off.

I'm cool with my pants down, too.

By the time you take off your underwear... I CAN'T CALM DOWN, COVERING HIS eyes to the room run, run while REPRIMANding him, "THE next time in front of girls can not casually take off LIGHT!"

Close the door, and I'll leave him alone.

The next morning, I was in a hurry to get dressed and clean.

Gu Eucalyptus, still dressed in yesterday's clothes, stood up from the sofa and looked at me blankly.

"I have a subway to catch... Order your own takeout." Something suddenly occurred to me. "Would you order takeout?"

He shook his head.

I fidgeted: "Oh, do you have a cell phone?"

He pulled his phone out of his pants pocket. "Yes."

"Can you use wechat?"

He nodded and shook his head.

I took his phone, clicked on wechat, and put myself on top.

Damn it, his note to me was "tummy".

Do I have a tummy?

I changed it to "Good ass and good figure" and taught him to send voice messages: "Talk to me with this, okay? I'll call you when I'm free."

On the subway, I ordered breakfast for him, sent him a message to remind him to get it, and told him that he would eat three meals a day in this way.

Gu Eucalyptus: "Good."

2

While chatting with my colleagues in the tea room at noon, I received a voice message from Gu Eucalyptus: "I am thirsty."

?

Who is Warping?

Oh.

I said, "There's milk in the fridge."

Half an hour later, I got another message from him: "Keel, I'm hungry."

I ordered him a takeaway.

"Warp, when will you be back?"

"Bored, sleep."

"Warp, I can't sleep."

"If you can't sleep, brush Tiktok."

"That's not interesting."

"Warping, my phone is running out of battery."

"Charge."

"Can't find the charger."

I put my phone away and didn't want to talk to him again.

He insisted on harassing me for a while, then stopped, it seems that the phone is dead.

When I got home from work and opened the door with the key, Gu Eucalyptus immediately stood up from the sofa and looked at me wistfully.

It was obviously a long wait.

I put the packed food on the table, and he was much easier to serve than before he smashed his brain. He ate it. I told him to take out the trash, and he did.

I took a picture of him and gave it to my best friend to assess the truth of the situation.

I: You say Gu Eucalyptus can not be installed?

Bestie: It seems normal... What does he want?

Me: That's right.

Bestie: It won't be for the sake of getting back together with you.

Me: It's possible.

Bestie: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Me: Okay, I know you're making fun of me.

Bestie: You can think of a way to test him.

So I went online to copy two primary school mathematical Olympiad placed in front of Gu Eucalyptus.

He gave me a puzzled look.

I thought about it and tried to solve it myself.

Three minutes later, he threw the pen away and decided that this method might not work.

I can't be retarded, can I?

I decided to think differently. I took out my razor (used for shaving myself in the summer) and ordered Gu to roll up his pant legs.

A real man would hate to lose his leg hair.

Gu Eucalyptus obedient to do, curious to look at me chi chi to shave his legs.

Men's leg hair is really thick and bushy, even for a gorgeous guy like Gu.

I didn't even miss my thigh, and when I scraped the inside of it, his muscle twitched, which seems to be his sensitive area.

Ha, ha, ha.

Well, after a clean shave, sure enough... It looks a little more Gay.

I looked at his white, bare legs and thought.

What would his sister think of me?

Will it grow again in two months?

Gu Eucalyptus also Cu eyebrow looking at his legs: "What are you doing?"

Angry?

Can't keep it up?

I said happily: "No hair smooth legs, is a good leg."

Gu Eucalyptus suddenly put his hand on my leg touched back and forth: "is very smooth."

I got goosebumps, jumped three feet away and stared at him warily.

Gu Eucalyptus a pair of children simple not sensible appearance, puzzled looked at me.

I GREAT ANGER: "GIRL'S LEG HOW CAN CASUALLY DISORDERLY TOUCH!"

Gu Eucalyptus has not touched my legs before!

Gu Eucalyptus: "But you also touched me..."

"Do I TOUCH? I THAT IS TO SEE TIE NOT TIE HAND!"

Gu Eucalyptus pursed her lips: "I'm sorry."

I COLD HUM, SAY CRUELLY WITH FINGER CORNER: "GO PUNISH STATION! Later DO WRONG THING ALL WANT TO PUNISH STATION!"

He dropped his trouser legs and went honestly to the wall.

I took a shower angry and went to bed angry.

I got up to pee in the middle of the night and saw a shadow in the corner of the living room.

"Eucalyptus Gu?" 'I whispered.

He said, "HMM."

I woke up, looked at the time, 1:00 a.m.

He just stood there like that for hours?

Is normal Gu eucalyptus meeting like this?

With mixed feelings, I sat him down on the couch and poured him a glass of water.

Gu Eucalyptus holding a glass of water, see my eyes some injustice.

He said, "Aren't you angry anymore?"

I nodded.

Then he lay down peacefully, and fell wearily asleep under the covers.

At six feet tall, she looks a little cramped on the narrow sofa.

I was thinking about adding a bed to his room.