What am I but a Soldier?

The man walked through the crowd, his hood placed firmly upon his head. The sound of celebrations filled the air, drunks bumped into him from every direction, and his stomachs wirled in knots, the nausea from the smell causing his head to spin.

He hoped silently that he could just get the items he needed and back to his ship without being spotted.

Even after spending years longing for the smell of city life, he wanted nothing more than to be back on the Star Fighter he was calling home. The smell was nothing similar to that of the Retina, but it was just similar enough to keep his mind at ease, the knowledge of the familiar scent waiting for him keeping his focus sharp on the storefronts.

The neon lights were blinding, days staring into the dotted blackness of space, just drifting, had slowly dulled his eyes to colour. And choosing such a bright place for a supply stop was just another dumb mistake in a long line of them.

Fireworks tore through his thought train, ramming his brain with the images of the past 5 years. The haunting sounds of the war should’ve been something he was used to, a soldier was all he ever knew how to be, but here he was, feeling his mind begin to be crushed under the weight of his actions, the decisions, everything that HE had caused.

“Hey man, lighten up.” A stranger’s hand was on his shoulder, using him to stabilize his drunken swaying, “the war is over, it's time to let loose!”

Without responding he shrugged the drunk’s hand away and quickened his pace.

Threat detection.

Without comprehending the words, the man moved his body to the left as a cup flew past his head.

“That smells repugnant.” He muttered before continuing to walk.

Glass smashed against his head, knocking him to the ground, as at least three men began jabbing their feet into his sides and head.

With a groan, his arm split open, the sharp blade sheathed inside snapping out and through the leg of one of the men.

His scream caused the other two to jump back, as the man scrambled to his feet, his hood now off his face.

The other men tried to move closer but he had taken a defensive stance and moved forward, his assailant having the exact reaction he wanted as they raised their hands and backed away.

The man looked down at the screaming drunk on the sidewalk, his leg had a sizable gash in it, the sight of which set off his unsettled stomach as he ran to a bin and began to throw up inside.

His knuckles were still covered in blood. His vision was blurry, as the younger man helped him walk along the wall.

“Keep pressure on your side or you’ll bleed out.” He snarked, reminding him of the consequences of having something tear a hole in your side.

The sounds were overwhelming him. Blaring alarms, gunfire from the battle happening above, the sounds of metal grinding as the city above the clouds began to crumble, the weight of the battleship that crashed through it proving too much for the weak metal girders to bear.

“Father.” Tommy’s voice cut through the noise, peaceful to the man’s fading consciousness. “We are almost at an escape shuttle. Please just hold on.”

Was this peace?

The duo made it outside the compound just in time to watch another dreadnought crash through the platform of the city, the Venusian skyline illuminating the ship in a chaotically beautiful way.

“Identify yourself.” The android’s voice cut through the flashback, the bile of his stomach still dripping from his mouth.

The weapon he wielded had retracted back into his hand, giving him a wave of relief.

“22107925.” He spat the remaining vomit out into the bin, quickly throwing the hood back over his head.

“Unknown data. Please state your name and 12 digit identification code.” The man rolled his eyes at the robot.

He dropped a small pellet on the ground that quickly flooded the air with smoke as he dashed off towards his destination, his chair had been waiting long enough.

The man didn’t stop moving till he made it inside the sanctum of the store he planned to resupply in.

Without even greeting the store clerk he placed a list down on the bench. “I’ve been told you can get me these for a reasonable price.”

“I can, let's see some credits.” She eyed the man’s face, trying to see through the inky black of the cloak and into his soul, her gaze was quickly diverted to focus on the display being projected from his arm.

“Twenty-five thousand enough?” His tone was quizzical, trying desperately to keep the price as low as possible until he found more bounties.

“Honestly for a war hero such as yourself,” She started pulling things out from under the bench, “bit overkill honestly, don’t you agree Captain?”

“Captain!”

He watched the Iris be reduced to debris by the cannons aboard the enemy ships. The ship he had tried so desperately to save, was falling to the planet below. The entire crew stranded in uncharted space.

“Captain!” The voice was more urgent this time as the man snapped back to his senses. “Incoming torpedoes.”

His brain snapping into action he gunned the star fighter towards the surface of the planet.

Would everything be alright? Would this group survive too? Nothing could prepare him for this, they were transporting wounded. Why would they open fire?

It was his fault, wasn’t it? His thoughts consumed him as he loosened off the throttle slightly, the torpedo jumping at the chance to catch up as it slammed into one of the engines, sending the ship into a death spiral.

The alarms were deafening, he closed his eyes tightly and called for the brace as the forest grew ever closer.

“Sir,” Her voice cut through his episode as she was gently shaking his shoulder. “Sir, are you ok, I told you that you were overpaying and you started shaking.”

She held out the box she had packed while he was having his episode.

“I put the change in because you weren't responding. I hope that's ok. Is there anything I can get you, some water? Food? Medications? Please don't be afraid to ask.”

He calmed his breathing as best he could before clearing his throat.

“Thank you but I’m fine.” He grabbed the box and nodded his head at the girl before leaving hurriedly.

His eyes scanned the area for people before aiming his hand at the fire escapes of a nearby building.

Taking one last look around to make sure he was alone, he flicked his thumb in a certain way and a hook shot from the side of his arm. He needed the altitude, the fresh air far above the city streets, and most importantly, away from people.

The cord snapped into place as it began pulling the man’s relaxed body towards the stairwell, tightening his muscles to prepare for the landing, and quickly jumping over the railing before ascending the stairs.

The top came fast enough and for the first time he got to bear witness to the might and persistence of what many throughout history considered a plague.

From his perch on this tower his eyes scanned the cityscape.

His first life was spent in a world of villages. The resources given to his people by their ancestors inside the tunnels were all but enough sometimes. And the radiation made it almost impossible to find newer resources.

And here he was standing on a skyscraper, a remnant of a time once lost to war, staring at an entire city’s worth of them. A sight that he hadn’t seen since being in the past.

The neon beams of the city grew distant behind the vessel and the empty void of space began to re-consume him. This time he wasn’t as fussed with the planet he had visited. But now he had to spend some time working on himself before re-acclimating to society.