Welcome To The Summer School Barn Party

We are holding a summer barn party at my barn based in England for the parents of my son's school. There is no dress-code, but feel free to dress as you wish. We all need to let our hair down after a long term of country school runs. Early morning stints on the early morning country roads is more intense at times than city traffic. Well, you can't really move a herd of cows faster than they want to go. Huge tractors cannot get into another lane easily and there tend to be no lanes, apart from one lane with two way traffic. Watch out you don't end up in a ditch. There is a certain skill in countryside living. I have tried all sides of the coin from city high risers to country estates. Now it's time to bring you into my country barn for a Summer Party is on the cards. It's the end of term, coming soon.

We had a blinking lot to bear with the cows this year. My local cows blinked twice upon seeing me masked up to the nines. Was bad enough in the good old days when I used to be modelling job audition hopping. I was usually dressed in some kind of pose. Now, they can't see my eyes or my mouth for we are so bandaged up that one uses one's nose. Animals use their sense of smell. I advise you smell out your other humans too. Each one of you possesses a certain smell. Not one of you is alike. After-all you don't all come down to the farm to smell of cows, or hay each day do you ? Neither do you all wear the same perfume or aftershave. One tip in the modern day virus life, zip . It's zip up your masks and listen here. Choose a perfume scent that is unforgettable. Sincerely yours. No one can see your beautiful lips anymore, without a magnifying glass.

The invitations were sent on brown ordinary au-natural paper card to all the parents and teachers. Time ticked by and the barn party night arrived. Surprisingly lots of people came. I assembled round tables spread out like one would do in the inside of a small restaurant . I added a few to the outside garden area . At the back of my barn are doors to the garden, so I opened these too to allow the guests to see one another. Surprisingly even though it be just a barn. I took the time on discovering my old barn, to be close to stables, I am addicted to horses. Plus I love the down on the farm kind of lifestyle, so animals usually gravitate towards me. In next to no time. I end up with all kinds of varieties, finding my natural love for them. I raise the pull of the herd towards my neck of the woods.

The mix of people from all walks of life began to arrive. Most were completely unrecognisable out of school. Very well dressed. No one would think we were holding just a barn party. I guess it was one of those parties where anything goes. There was no dress code. Dressing up is fun. I wore green. A huge beaming pale green shade that sits in treetops somewhat like the colours of light green leaves from trees. The dress I hitched was from a local sale. It had a bodice with beads. It was split into two parts. a green bodice with a beaded laced exterior. I wrapped a green chemise scarf of the same colour around my shoulders. Very country manor appeal. One of my guests was a real Lady of a local manor. Some gentleman even wore velvet jackets accompanied with hanging cigars . Unlit just hung out from mouths with dried up cracked lips.

An ensemble of the guests were either here already or sitting by the river on benches.

A river runs past my barn with a speedy current, full of rocks with green mermaids on top of rocks. I never put them there. The mermaids came along with the rental deal. I have seen them transform a few times into fleshy mermaids, like those you see in fairytale books. They only do this on nights of the full moon. I don't tend to talk about it, or people would think I was balmy. Little do they know I'm balmy already. I'm proud of being different. Who can tell what someone has up their sleeve In all due effect. If we can sing with mermaids, or dance with fairies, who gives a damn what those rotten dull other side of 'normal boring crowd' think. I send forth a wink with my right eye. I can wink both eyes, but the right is sharper. If I ever have to wear an eye patch, for example, if I decide to become a pirates wife, I may have to wear an eye patch. Who knows what the future will hold.

The guests organise themselves. I opted for placing names by each seat. I mixed everyone up, so no one knows who is on their left or right, unless they have already entwined by any previous occasion, that was none to my knowledge. Or, done a back dive secret meeting behind the old school bench. Odd things happen after school. I think, I would have found out. I think, I have done a good job of mixing everyone up, deliberately not matching personalities. I don't cater for dull rendezvous. It would bore the socks of you.

I watched the guests find their seats. It was an interesting spectacle to observe. Highly entertaining, to think I had astounded everyone with my seat placements. Start as one means to go on. I knew who despised the other. A fruity evening was in-store. Let's get some adrenaline up and running. Keep our hormonal spirits up. My wine selection was carefully selected. I will drag many secrets out of those with quiet tongues burying codes with words, as entrances to boxes hiding within the school secret room. We might discover all kinds of mysteries.

If you want to check someone out. Get them drunk, stay sober yourself. Watch them spill the beans. A good tactic for opening the back door. Not too drunk, as you can't understand what they are rattling on about.

Flowers were plentiful, flowing from hanging baskets filled with purple heather. Filling the main room with scents from heaven. All handpicked from Scotland, with contrasting flowers of orange, lemon, coloured marigolds. I'd arranged a similar assortment within vases on each table.

I'd laid the tale with a five spoon spread. Had many courses in-line. Serviettes were lemon combining with the wooden barn look. I had man eating plants filling the surrounds. I did but hope I never had to use them. I had to have security back-ups. I never expected anything to over the top. Jumping out from chin-wagging teachers off-duty mixed up with parents.

As the wine was served many began guzzling it like fish. The lady from the country manor house had no qualms whatsoever about her rather exotic behaviour, even though her husband was around. I was gob-smacked myself at her outlandish style. The dark side of the English lady of the manor was born, in front of my very eyes. My elder son had accompanied me. He most delightfully maintained his grace. In the midst of the guzzling wine fish. Swimming was an understatement. Applauding undercover parents, who were gypsies on the side. I hadn't a clue the country school I'd hand-picked had such a tropical mix of parents. Somewhat a shock to find out that straight-laced parents at the morning school gate, were roaming beggars. They'd spread bread and butter sandwiches early morning for roughed up kids. Turning them around into polished students wearing uniforms carrying lunch-boxes to class.

The school was a fairly new number on my cards. The gypsies pouring into England, from many a Romanian caravan spread. Hitch a ride. The United kingdom has extras on the side. The new trail, has led to quite a surge in caravan tails to become masterpieces, no doubt in good time. We opened our border gates. We mustn't moan till the cows come home. Get up boys and girls. The school bell is on time. Don't be late, or Mrs Thompson, the headmistress will give you a black mark.

I'd booked a magician in advance. He arrived on time. I took a glance at my watch. He appeared like he'd just popped out of a magic box. He then began entertaining my guests by visiting each table setting by alternating tables. He helped calm the guzzling female fish down a bit. For guests like 'Ms Country-Manor House', had to make her last glass of wine last a few minutes longer. She watched the magicians hat-trick.

Upon reaching my table I was seated on. Mr magician chose a trick using a wine bottle, which was coincidental, I thought, considering the amount of drunken country lads and lasses were flopping all over the place. I was relieved my older rock and roll star. One of my son's was with me. I guess he's used to parties turning upside down. One imagines what goes on behind closed doors in the music biz. Not that I ever get invited to his. Kids grow up thinking their parents are off the road. On the beaten track.

I'd never seen bottle tricks by a magician of such splendorous technique. For one's eyes, was quite a remarkable experience. He showed the wine bottle off to such detail, that, there was no way one could imagine how he created the trick. The bottom of the bottle was sealed, yet items slid out. There must have been a secret catch. I suppose one would think in the same mind-wave, when it comes to my man eating plants or mermaids bathing in my adjoining river. Somethings in life truly magical mysteries and best left that way.

In-between flying magic illusions, one forgot about drunken ladies flirting wildly. One tries to turn a blind eye, but knows full well table manners were off the cards. Poor husband. He has an aristocratic wife without her chastity belt on. By the looks of things. Bear in mind though, some people are huge flirts, but never hit the sack. I have noticed these peculiar behaviour syndromes are all a facade in some circles. A jolly good show is had. Quite often, misbehaving in front of one's spouse. Such wretched flirts, are quite shy retiring sorts back home. All very odd. Attention seekers. I would love to meet some party time people out of party life to see their true colours. I met a few that's for another story.

Turning a blind eye is easy, if you are either the same way inclined, or, not the other-half of the spouse. Being roped into this wild kind of human game play. Opposite sex chivalrous misconduct. I have known but a few incidences through life whereupon I was dragged into men's games. I have seen some women who play the same card deck. It's not my cup of tea. Attention seekers without the knowledge of refined dignified communication. A sad state of affairs.

In our current times anything seems to go, down or upside down ? More to point. Open relationships, one hears is a current trend. I need a good cup of English tea to get through the alternative choices. Social media, makes one need it to be strongly brewed tea too. One remembers the English expression ' Tea For Two '.

Upon conquering the evening to the best of my ability. I was somewhat relieved when the clock struck twelve. We had a midnight cut off. Some of us country bumkins had early mornings. I, being the host could avoid tit for tat small talk on round tables. All the wine had gone down inside their intestinal tubes to come out later on. Fountains from other canals I surmise. I prefer to go to talk mermaids to whisper sweet nothings after my guests had all gone.

'Thank The Good Lord That 's Over With'.

I'm left with the washing up and mermaid conversations.

Until Next Year at The Old Barn !

Delila Redditt

Yvette Louise Melech

copyright

July/09 /2021