We Need To Talk

Depression is tough. And when it's seasonal it's even harder.

Winter is difficult, the long cold days, the darkness, the isolation, it's often almost too much to bear.

Jazzie was no stranger to the "Winter Blues." She always felt lower during the cold season. She did what she could. Light therapy. Dying her hair. Diet changes. But it didn't do much. She never liked winter and as she trudged through midlife, each year, it felt a tiny bit worse.

The cold felt colder. The snow felt more oppressive. And the brief warmer days felt like the second coming! She knew better than to get excited. She knew better than to think 48 hours of sun and warmth scattered sporadically within 3 weeks wasn't a sign of Spring.

She knew. But that was her head, not her heart. The sun and above-0 temperatures made her heart soar. They made her feel alive! They made her want to do cartwheels in the park instead of hiding at home.

And then the weather shifted again. Frigid temperatures and calls for yet another legendary dump of the white stuff.

She sat in her sunroom, dejected, as her 6-foot windows display the sun, melting winter's offering. And a squirrel. It was the same squirrel that hung around this winter and last.

He, or she, Jazzy wasn't sure, had a bushy tail and keen eyes. They hung around on the pine tree right beside the deck.

But today was different. Today, they came to the window.

She almost didn't hear the faint tap, tap tap. If she hadn't been sitting there, wallowing, she probably wouldn't have.

Jazzy looked up at the west-facing window and there it was. It seemed to beckon to her. It was -13, she wasn't going out. She stared until it gave up and disappeared.

Only it didn't.

It jumped up on the loveseat.

"It's almost over," a faint squeaky voice said.

Jazzy shook her head, wondering if maybe she'd lost her mind. The squirrel sat on her furniture, straight, tall, and proud.

"Yes, you hear me," the animal continued as if it knew, "My name is Sammy, Sammy the Squirrel."

"What, what..." do you want?" Jazzy was incredulous and slightly scared. Animals didn't talk, but at least this one was small. She could take care of it, if things got out of hand. A good broom would take care of Sammy.

"You'll never catch me with a broom," Sammy taunted as if she read her mind, "I got in here without you noticing, I can get back out."

"What do you want?" Jazzy shrieked, her voice showing way more terror than she intended.

"Chill, baby, chill, "Sammy's brown eyes sparkled and her brown tail filled out, "that's what I'm here for. It's all good, baby, all good."

Jazzy stood, dumbfounded.

Sammy continued. "Why do you think I'm out here? I don't come out here for fun and games. I'm a ground squirrel."

Jazzy shrugged and stepped gingerly toward the sofa, "What do you want?"

"God, humans are stupid!" Sammy spat, sighing with a heavy exasperation, I'm here to tell you it's almost over, you just need to be patient."

Jazzy shook her head. She didn't want to be patient. She'd suffered through winter for yet another miserable year. She'd shoveled show. She'd braved temperatures that would freeze exposed skin within seconds to take the dog out. She sat inside, dejected, day after day, locked inside both mentally and physically, a prisoner to the elements.

She felt paralyzed. The hope of the promised spring coupled with the continuing misery of winter left her stuck. She couldn't move. No left or right. No up or down. Just small teasers of hope followed by crushing disappointment.

"I still don't get your point," Jazzy shrugged.

Sammy laughed. It was a surprisingly hearty guffaw for her size. "Tomorrow is the end of it. We'll get a dump, a big one, but it will melt fast."

Jazzy nodded, she'd checked the forecast and knew about the coming storm. She bought comfort food in anticipation, dill pickle chips.

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked, stepping a little closer.

Sammy scurried back a bit. She didn't like to be touched. "Because I get it. I know. I feel like absolute garbage all winter. Slim pickings in the nut department, slippery trees, freezing ground, icy air. You think I don't feel it? I do."

"I didn't know."

"Now, you do," Sammy spat sharply. She softened, "I'm just here to tell you, I've heard from the Network, and this is the end. Spring is coming."

Jazzy shrugged. "What network?" She couldn't believe she was talking to a squirrel.

Sammy rolled her big brown eyes, making it painfully obvious. "The animal network, silly, she snickered, "I talked to Gilbert Goose, who never would have come back here from his condo in Florida if spring wasn't coming. I talked to Bernice the brown bear who happens to be awake from her hibernation. And, I talked to Bertram Beaver. He just smells it in the air.

Jazzy sat beside her new pal. "How long?"

"Give it a week, 10 days at the most," Sammy replied, grinning, "Now, would you mind opening the door? The hole under the deck really is a tight squeeze for me."