VOYAGE TO DEATH

ANDY

Sept1911

It is a miserable day in London. Misty, drizzling rain and a chilly day I am feeling depressed ended up at Tate gallery in London. I am an art student at the London Art College studying Turner as my special subject. It is my last year's project. As soon as I walked in the warmth of the gallery made me relax and enjoy the atmosphere in Turner's room where all his paintings were displayed. I sat on a bench and start staring at the famous painting he did in 1810 called SHIPWRECK of MINOTAUR. He had painted a few other sea pictures but this one was my favourite to understand his thinking and expression of feelings. I am afraid of water. Irrational fear of water, called aquaphobia happened after a fishing trip disaster. It fascinates me to see in his picture how the human's effort to overcome forces of nature in his colours. My interpretation is ship is fighting for survival. Suddenly I heard this lovely voice " I can see you are really concentrated and trying to find out what the picture is trying to tell you to spend at least half an hour staring at it, my view is this kind of ship picture showing a struggling vessel in the sea puts you off the travel at sea," She was smiling. I turned around she was sitting next to me and I looked at her beautiful face and lost words to express my opinion seeing her dark sea-blue eyes could confuse any man." The important thing is how to interpret the picture when you look at it. To me, Turner had an idea in his mind when imagined that picture. It is like a volcano erupting from inside showing the extreme weather at sea a ship is in the centre of it overpowered by water and wind but still there. The question is, did he have any experience of sea disaster? Entirely different from his countryside pictures calm and providing a peaceful scenery to people, also each individual's eyes understanding of it will be really different," I said. She had a lovely smile on her face "My name is Mary by the way and just came into the gallery to get a warmth horrible day outside weather worst than Turner's paint," I guess. " My name is Andy, just last year's student at art college and this is my assignment to write about Turner," I smiled " if it's okay we could have a nice hot cup of tea at the cafeteria," I asked. " Let's go and have it I suppose we both needed," We walked away.

MARY

Sept.1911

It is one of those days I am out shopping at Picadilly suddenly rain started pouring down even the umbrella was useless. I needed a shelter to stay dry and warm. The best thing I could think of was Tate gallery. I could spend a few hours watching the paintings get a hot drink and wait for the lousy weather to end. I walked into Tate, shivering and dampish rush to the cloakroom and left shopping and my coat there start walking lazily around the gallery, saw this gorgeous man staring at the picture of Turner with no emotion on his face. Just sat next to him, six foot five at least and got long blond hair with very dark eyes. I was attracted to him. I did want the acquaintance him I took the first step to discuss the picture although it meant nothing to me. His response was entertaining to know that I picked up a student for my friendship. It would not be a piece of happy news to my father hey! who cares after all it's my life. We spend a couple of hours at the gallery and had a lovely hot cup of tea by then the weather was improved and we managed to get out and get a bus to his flat.

ANDY

Oct.1911

Now, I had a lovely girlfriend. Mary was always cheerful, laughing and making life easy for me except we were coming from different backgrounds. She had a very rich family living a very luxurious life having a beautiful house in Kensington in London. I met with her family a few times as her friend. Especially her father did not like my friendship at all but was keeping quiet about us. One day, out of blue " What is your profession young chap? What are you planning to do with your life in future?" He asked at the dinner table. It was a surprise " I will be an art critic just graduating at Christmas, hoping to join a paper or magazine," I answered the question. One was not amused and could see his facial expression. " He did not like it," I murmured, "Just ignore it, his usual attitude," Marry answered. I did not see him very often after that day. I was from up North and was living in London on my own as a student at Hampstead. My family is ordinary white colour workers, the father being an engineer, mum a teacher I always had a modest but happy life. As far as I am concerned soon I was going to start working and set up a new life with Mary. Especially when she informed me she was pregnant first made me happy then a little miserable not knowing what to do or handle the situation when the baby arrives. I could only wish our lives will be sorted out by July 2012 before the baby was born.

MARY

Oct..1911

It has been over a month since I have been going out with Andy. He met my parents a few times. Although my father is not happy for me it's been a beautiful time. They only worry because he is a student, got no income and won't be able to look after me. Usual phrases are used by wealthy families who inherited their money from their parents. Father find out Andy's family is middle class and would not fit in our society and could not afford to look after me if he could not find a job. " I really worry about your friendship with him we are not happy at all there are more suitable boys out there please consider," father said." Don't worry about me, I am happy and in love with Andy. You both have to accept that he is part of my life and happiness," I told them. A few days ago I had find out I was pregnant and Andy was over the moon with the news. We have been celebrating since making arrangements for our new life. We decide to get married secretly as this was going to cause a very big problem with my family. Definitely, they were not aware of we were living and sleeping together which was not permitted and acceptable by society. Andy's parents were okay and happy that our relationship was becoming legal as a couple we did not have his father's approval, it was against his belief.

ANDY

Dec.1911

" Are you ready for this Mary within an hour we will be man and wife," I questioned?. " As long as you don't change your mind and are happy this is the happiest day of my life, " she kissed me. Only a handful of people were at the registry office. My mum and dad joined us. There are two of my best mates for best man and two of her girlfriends as bridesmaids. We signed the book in a very quiet ceremony our lives have become one "for sickness and health till we die " as we promised. We did not want to have honeymoon few drinks at my local and just a meal at the restaurant were the celebrations. Retired at my house and chat about the future plans for our family.

MARY

Jan 1912

It has been two beautiful months since I married Andy. My body shape slowly started changing especially since my belly was looking rather big all of sudden." Child, you should watch the amount you are eating. It looks like you put quite a lot of weight on recently. Knowing my daughter it's not you. Please consider checking with our doctor may help," Father suddenly asked. Andy and I were surprised but did not show it. " Put weight on at Christmas, I shall start dieting, no problem," I said. I knew this was a temporary relief but I did not tell them anything including the wedding and expecting a baby would have been the last straw but we both knew somehow the time was coming up to tell them about the present situation. I was still pretending to live with them in reality settled in Andy's house and was enjoying my life. My family did not have a clue.

ANDY

Feb1912

" Hi, I came to see Marry is she in," I asked." Do come in please she is just out and will be back soon but this gives me chance to have word with you," her father said with a straight face. We are settled in the lounge and he ordered the butler to bring two teas." Young man this is a chance for me to speak with you alone as I am concerned about Mary's health. She put a lot of weight on recently. It is not healthy and does not accept my offer to see our family doctor in case medically she needs help," You agree with my point?" This question made me panic, I did not know what to say to him. Mary suddenly walked into the room" I heard you talking about me what is going on Andy? father what is your worry," She stared at her father." I am and mother worried, just asking his help for you to see our doctor," " I do not want to see the doctor many times I told you that I am okay nothing wrong," " It is my dear, you are pregnant and you are hiding from us also we know how you live with Andy regular visits to his house recorded," was remarked from my mother. We were both shocked was clear they have been watching us for a while. " Yes, I am pregnant and live with Andy. Nothing wrong with that. I am sorry you found out this way but we are happy and in love with each other," She told them. " Please excuse us, Andy, could you kindly leave my house," her father ordered. I did.

MARY

Feb 1912

" It was very rude of you to ask Andy to leave us alone," I was really furious with father." It looks like you lie to us for the last few months. It is a disgrace to sleep with a man out of marriage. I am very disappointed and feel our values are lowered to a level by your actions to accept it will be very difficult," He shouted at me. "I agree with your father, we thought it was only a little flirting with Andy, not sexual intercourse out of marriage. Our family name will be blacked by society. You created it very difficult situation for us to face with relatives and friends," mum said." We are not doing anything shameful, we are a married and happy couple also expecting a child. We follow the rules and regulations of society by the book, nothing to worry about on your crowd" I shouted with frustration. " "Did you say you are married? I can't believe what I am hearing girl, you can not be serious, done things without our permission and knowledge," Father screamed." She is serious and a rebel in our family, very difficult to accept that you married a commoner and never asked for our approval on top that you are pregnant, I am disappointed, angry and don't know what to say," Mum said and start crying." To me, I can not forgive you for what have you done to our family. Mother tears must show how much pain you caused us. I don't want to see you anymore leave our house and go on living your life, as you wish. You already changed your name do not use surname the SILVER anymore. We are finished with you," Father walked out of the room.

ANDY

March 1912

" Listen It had been a very difficult few weeks for you, I spoke to my father and discuss our situation. He suggested whether we could consider living in America. We have few relatives living in New York. They will help us to settle down there. It will be a new life for Mr&Mrs Brown from London, what do you think," I asked Mary. She has not been herself since having an argument with her family. I was also having difficulty getting a job in the media although I finished college two months ago. She stared at me with a lovely smile putting me at ease " Why not my love, let's have a new start with our new baby, please pass my thanks to your dad for his help and let me know anything I can do from this end," She smiled.

Within two weeks we made all the arrangements, passport, visa to America, finance and travel arrangements. Once we arrive there it will be easy uncle John will take care of us with everything." Listen, I just received the two tickets for cruising the New York with TITANIC. Father organised it. We will be boarding at Southampton on the 10th of April. It will sail at noon. Something to look forward to. Meantime we can organise and pack the suitcases we will take there," Marry gave me a big hug and kiss. Our new life already had started.

MARY and ANDY AT TITANIC

10thApr. 1912

We rushed to catch the train to Southampton early in the morning to catch the boarding before it finished at lunchtime. "I hope you are not tired with your extra weight on you, it has been a big mad rush travelling by train but here we are, at last, next to this huge ship it is really amazing," staring at Titanic. "I read a few articles about it, it is the safest ship they built up to now. I know you don't like the sea but believe me, we are in safe hands papers are calling it 'unsinkable', the crew and structure of it perfect. Just think about it within two weeks we will be in New York. New life for all of us. We need to find a porter," Mary responded. " Excuse me could you give us a hand with our luggage please, my wife is pregnant we don't know anything about the vessel," I asked the porter passing by us." No problem sir please let me see your tickets, Of yeah, you are at deck E it is second class stateroom accommodation, follow me will be there in a few minutes," We arrived in our room. It was covered with oak panelling, glossy white floor and had mahogany furniture. We had a bunk bed, desk, sofa and a sink in the room. " You have several facilities to use restaurant, cafeteria, library and restroom down the main corridor. Bath and toilet facilities are shared with the other passenger. You are allowed the stroll at the Boat Deck and use Grandstairs if you are doing shopping at the upper decks. First-class leisure facilities are not allowed. You can use the large dining room at G deck anytime you want, it has a pianist to entertain you as well. In addition to breakfast, three-course meals are served at lunch and tea times. I hope you will enjoy your voyage, my name is Jim," He smiled while I tipped him for his services. " Jim thanks for the information," said and shut the door. "Listen I shall have a little rest, it has been a very long day already, fetch me in a couple of hours love," Mary asked. I went to Library.

The library room was again gorgeous, spacious, covered with walnut panelling and furniture made of the mahogany crimson red upholstery. I settled down with my notebook and ship brochure to write my memoirs and noted the details of our journey. Apparently, we had two stops in front of us. The first call was on 11th Apr. to reach Cherbourg France, from there Queenstown Ireland to pick up more passengers. Sailing to New York is estimated to take place 12hMay. I talked few other passengers regarding the details of the ship. Since we were boarded, I felt lost with the size of the ship. Just to feel secure, I started inquiring about the details of the ship asking a fellow passenger at the library " Excuse me do you have any idea about the facilities around the second class area, my name is Andy by the way," I asked." No problem, what I am told we are allowed to use facilities at the Boat and Promenade Deck(A) which are the top two decks of the ship. You are allowed to walk and rest using the deck chairs. The first-class accommodation is at Bridge (B) and Shelter Deck (C). You may walk around but can't use any facilities, unfortunately, our access is limited. Otherwise, Saloon(D), Upper deck(E) is our section and free to use anything anywhere. Rest is Middle(F), Lower(G) decks for 3rd class and Orlop and Tank Decks are the engine and mechanical places you don't need to visit these places. The information desk is at Promenade Deck which will give you more details if you want. One thing you should have is the experience of walking down to Grandstairs. It covers the six decks from Deck(A) and is lovely to walk down the stairs as you will feel like a king, believe me, and my name is Charlie," He smiled. It was a lot of information to digest at once but we had two weeks to discover this ship. I thanked him and returned to writing memoirs.

MARY

11thApr1912

" Goodmorning my love, it has already been a day since we are on our way to Ireland. Looks like I shall spend most of my time in bed must be the condition I am in, never suffered seasickness before. You must get used to it," She said." Not to worry, The library is a lifesaver. I am spending most of my time there. I walked around Boat and Promenade Decks but don't like to look at the ocean I prefer not to see it. Gives me a chance to write my notes just came to my mind to tell you, asked my father to drop a line to your parents to tell them we are immigrating to America and sailing on the board of Titanic. I hope you don't mind," " Well since I left home never spoke to them. I don't think they care but thanks anyway for being thoughtful," and gave me a big hug.

ANDY

12th-13th Apr.1912

Last two days we are on our way to America. It has been plain sailing. Sea is very calm, the weather is mild and the ship is in full steam ahead of its' time. Mary and I have already established our routine, after having breakfast we go for a walk at the promenade for an hour and rest on the deck chairs. After lunch, Mary has a rest for a few hours till afternoon tea which we have at the cafeteria. Another walk this time we go up to the Boat deck and have a fresh air before our dinner. Mary retires after dinner for the night. Her rest time gives me a chance to write my memoirs at the library. I became very friendly with Charlie. He also likes to read and write at the library. But our main pleasure was after dinner, we sit outside of the port and have a cigar with cognac. " You don't need to be in first-class to enjoy yourself by listening to lovely piano songs and gazing at the beautiful sky with millions of shiny stars my friend," He smiled always with happiness.

ANDY, MARY

14thApr.1912

I woke up today with a dreadful depression. I was not feeling well. I told Mary had a kind of anxiety disorder. I did not know the reason. " Come on, you will feel okay. Let's have breakfast and our usual walk at the Boat Deck. Around eleven o'clock will be a Sunday Service we can join that for a change. I shall keep you busy till after lunch believe me whatever it is causing you mental stress, just relax and ignore it," She gave me a big cuddle and kiss. I felt right for a few hours. When she was having an after-lunch nap, I started getting panic attacks. " Charlie, somehow not feeling right today. I am feeling continuously worried, my sixth sense telling me trouble is on the horizon! can you suggest anything ?" He stared at me "Let's have a drink, old chap double scotch will help you to get back to your senses," We walked to the bar. I had a few whiskies to calm me down but did not really work. We had our dinner at 7 o'clock. Marry wanted to retire and read a bit. I stayed with Charlie. I don't know how long it was we were chatting, listening to the piano, smoking cigars and drinking cognac as usual and staring at the beautiful sky at the Boat Deck. We were at the starboard of the deck. Sea and weather being so calm it was a real pleasure to be out and discuss the things that mattered to us such as settling in America. I admit I was a little bit tipsy by then. " Charlie, it is getting a little bit breeze and cold shall we walk around to keep us warm and stretched the legs," I asked. " Come on then let's walk towards the bow, I am not an expert but we are moving forward very fast, speed I mean, It is not my liking," he said. " by then we heard a crushing sound of the ship with a big bang we were shaken and run to the bow. " Charlie, am I dreaming what is this huge white silhouette in front of the ship, for god sake we hit the Iceberg," I looked at Charlie's face I could see the horror in his eyes " I can't believe it what is happening, Don't panic! looked at a few other passengers and crew, they have seen the same they look calm to me," We were both frozen to act. " Listen you better fetch Mary to Boat Deck it is just for her safety, nothing to panic, go," Charlie shouted.

I run back to our cabin and told Mary " Titanic hit the iceberg but don't worry, just get ready as a precaution only take our passports, valuables and money with you and put your coat and scarf on you! the night is getting cold. I saw with my bare eyes that our ship sailed in the iceberg, unbelievable. But nothing major about it, this ship is unsinkable, captain and crew most probably will save her, it is just a caution. Don't forget to put on your Lifejacket as well, I did mine already, I also need to get my papers I will put them in that empty whisky bottle to keep it dry in case, you never know," We dashed to the Boat Deck. We were at the starboard and could see the white shadow around the bow. An announcement was made not to panic but wait for further notice by the captain. We waited maybe fifteen minutes by then the boat deck was full of first-class passengers shouting and yelling at each other. It was a real mess." Hey Jim, hi! please tell me what's happening," " Follow me to the Port, I shall be getting people in a boat No.3, unfortunately, it is only for women and children. Mrs will be okay but you have to wait," " No problem Jim, just help her she is pregnant, needs your help," and gave him additional tips for his service. Mary got in the boat no.3, Jim and the other 8 sailors helped the boat be lowered slowly by hand and Jim jumped in to organise the passengers. Mary was crying her heart out while I was waving to her with tears in my eyes. This was our fate, to be separated first time by the force of nature. It reminded me of her remark on Turner's picture of the sinking ship. Suddenly I found myself pushed around by the panicking passengers while the captain made another announcement " Don't worry stay calm, we asked two other ships to assist us with our passengers. Californian and Carpathia on their way to save people in our boats,". I saw Charlie standing towards the stern of the boat near the port with a silver whisky container in his hand and I walked and stood by him " you got the share that with me I am really in a bad state and frighten to death, never told you I don't like water never mind sea and I am a very bad swimmer," He smiled, " Don't worry my friend what we say is 'Que sera, sera' Whatever going to happen will happen, no need to panic just relax, hey! can you hear the quartet playing 'Greenleaves' funny middle of the sea and it's spring, just stay with me? We will find a way of making our lives safe, we are not allowed on the boats but last-minute jumping a sea and finding a boat is not a bad idea., what do you think?" I looked at him " Let's stick around together, we stared at the bow slowly going down and heard screams of people, the situation made me nerves, you lead the way Charlie, I follow you and hope the best, I can't give up easily I need to see my baby," and had another sip of cognac from the bottle.

ANDY, CHARLIE

15th Apr1912

Charlie and I jumped from the stern to the sea holding each other hands. This was a long freefall from the ship, to me, it took ages in the air. When we hit the ice-cold sea I suddenly woke up but was happy to be not injured and Charlie still being next to me gave me hope to survive. We could not help but start laughing together and searching for a boat to get a lift. My watch had stopped, I could see it was already 15th Apr and 2.20 am and we just stared at the Titanic sinking slowly into the darkness. Charlie spotted a boat and they helped us to climb in we were on our way to an unknown territory at dark night. The ocean looked like a little lake with many boats around circling not knowing what to do. We are all saved by the ship called Carpathia. We had to stream in that, were not allowed to look for any friends or relatives till we arrived in New York.

ANDY, MARY and CHARLIE

18thApr.1912

Carpathia arrived at New York Cunard Lines pier at 09.30 am. We had a big crowd and loud cheers intercepted by a big band of music. We were alive was great a feeling, the only remaining part was finding my family.

After completion of the immigration process, outside of the building, it was big chaos and mayhem people searching for their loved ones, pushing, shouting, screaming hoping that they are alive. I found her, at last, yelling my head off with happiness " Mary, I am here love, we are all safe," we had a big hug and touched her tummy to feel the baby" don't worry it's safe," She said and gave me a cuddle and big kiss. Charlie was smiling I gave him a big five and said " See u, my friend we are NewYorkers now, be in touch," He waved and walked away.

MARY, ANDY

July 1912

We settled in Manhattan, New York. Uncle John helped us a lot during that time. We had a lovely boy we named him AGWE TURNER BROWN. 'Agwe' was a boy's name from Hawaii, meaning "Spirit of the sea," and Turner was the memory of our meeting point. We had a copy of his 'Shipwreck of Minotaur' painting hung in our living room. We are happily settled with our new way of life in America.

"By the way, I had a letter from my father, He informed your parents we are safe and settled in America. Apparently, they are planning to visit us, in case, you want to drop them a line," I informed her. She smiled.

Only one thing that made me sad was losing my notes in the whisky bottle, Our voyage details were given the life on Titanic and good memories with my friend Charlie. I think when we hit the sea with the force it fell out of my coat pocket. It was lost.

SOMEWHERE IN WEST IRELAND

August 2015

Father look what I found " It is an old bottle, can't open it" and passed it to his daddy. He screwed out the cap and found the notes of Andy in the bottle. He was amazed but did not know how to find the owner of that famous Titanic voyage disaster. Eventually, decided to auction it thinking the marine museum in England might want it. Titanic Memories of Andy's notes fetched 50.000 Euros for it. It was an unexpected wealth after a routine beach walking.