Until We Meet Again Under the Pear Tree

“You still haven't figured out if you want to stay or leave yet...have you?” his deep voice asks me.

I look down and start fidgeting with the hem of my navy blue summer dress that looks black under the candle lights around us. “No,” I move my eyes up. “ I haven’t.”

He goes to put his hand near my hair but stops himself. “You know you’re making this harder than what it needs to be.” He looks at me, and I hear the pain in his voice.

I close my eyes as I let out a sigh, laying up against the trunk of the Bradford pear tree. “Damon, you know this place has a lot of memories for me. I grew up here, I have family here and friends.” I open my eyes and look to the left where Damon is sitting on the blanket, surrounded by the many burning candles strategically placed around the pear tree. “You’re here,” I manage to get out before a tear escapes my right eye.

He looks at me with a pained expression. “Mel, we’ve had this conversation everyday this month. Night after night we’re here under this pear tree, candles around us, and a picnic blanket under the stars..unless it was a stormy night.”

I look out at the field in front of us, cloaked by the darkness from night. “I know, and every night we have together makes it harder and harder to leave.”

Damon shifts, rubbing his hands through his dark, shaggy hair. “Don’t you want to spend the rest of your summer before college with your friends here? Not wasting your nights sitting under this tree and talking to me?”

Did he really just say “wasting my nights”? “It’s not a waste!” I yell in his direction. “I still don’t know if I want to leave though. Princeton is great, and the opportunity is grand, but I could go to school here and save money, be with family...be with you..” I can feel the tears forming in my eyes.

I can hear him sigh while he’s moving closer to the edge of the picnic blanket right next to me. “You know we can’t keep doing this,” he whispers while I catch a few glimpses of the whites in his eyes. “Babygirl, you’ve got to move on...it hurts me seeing you like this, and I can’t do anything about it.”

I’m trying my best to hold back the tears and tell him why it’s so hard for me to make my decision. “Dame..” I whisper. His name is all I can manage to get out before I’m sobbing.

I hear Damon mutter something under his breath while his face is mere inches away from mine. “You know,” he pauses, staring intently at me. “I don’t regret it.”

I wipe my eyes, knowing that he truly meant what he said. “You know I wish it would’ve turned out differently.”

“I wish it would’ve too,” I muttered. “But you know it should’ve been me.”

Damon jerked back and stood up. “I chose you! I saved you! Don’t ever think that it should’ve been you!”

I put my head down in my lap and let out a scream. “It hurts! DAMON IT HURTS! You’re not here anymore! You should be here!”

“I KNOW! I WANT TO BE PHYSICALLY HERE WITH YOU! THAT IS WHY I KEEP COMING BACK EVERY NIGHT!” Pacing, he went back and forth, careful not to go past the candles.

“I wish we could turn back the clock...I wish we never were walking on that side of the sidewalk at night. I wish our stupid classmates never were drinking! And I wish they never jumped the freaking curb losing control of that freaking car! I wish you never pushed me out the way!” Breathe Mel, breathe.

Damon came and sat beside me, moving his hand over mine. I wish I could feel his touch, I’ve been craving it since the accident. I know it pains him just as much as it pains me.

He carefully looked at me, mindful of his next statement. “Love, eventually I’m not going to come back..”

I stared at him, taking in every detail of him, knowing that there was so much truth in that statement. “I don’t…” I take a deep breath in. “I don’t want you to go. As soon as you go, then it becomes real. I don’t want to let you go Dame...we had plans for the future.. and they got ruined.”

“And you can still keep those plans..you’ll just be living them with someone else.” He made sure to say the last part low.

“I don’t want to live it with someone else…”

“But you know you’re going to have to Mel...you’re going to have to move on. That is why you need to leave and go to Princeton. You need a fresh start.”

I put my head back against the tree. “But...it’s not fair.”

Damon chuckled at my statement. “Babygirl, if there’s one thing you know about life, you know that it’s anything but fair.”

I looked at him, surprised that he laughed, but also happy that I got to see his smile again, thanks to all the candles. “Can you at least try to meet me when I come back home for school then?”

He pondered my question for what seemed like hours, but was only a mere matter of seconds. “How about this Mel...every year on my death anniversary you come back and catch me up on your life?” He asked me with a raised eyebrow. “But!” He raised his pointer finger, “There is one condition.”

I took a deep breath in, looking at him inquisitively. “And what is the condition?”

“You have to move on, love.”

I dreaded hearing that. I hung my head down. I knew that he was right, but I still regretted him saying it.

“I know it hurts, and it’s going to, but you have to heal and actually complete the grieving process. It’s going to take time, but you need to live your life.”

“I need to live my life,” I whispered.

Damon moved his face closer to mine. “Yes Mel. Live. Your. Life.”

“I’m only agreeing to this because I still will get to see you, Dame.”

He looked down trying to hide from the sadness in the air.

“I’m going to live, but you better not miss a meeting then!” I raised my voice at him in a joking manner. “And I don’t care how time up there works. When these candles are lit, you better come!”

He put his hands up like he was surrendering. “Of course.” He laughed. “I wouldn’t miss a meeting with you for the world.”

I laughed to try to mask the tears starting to form in my eyes. It went silent as we both looked ahead in the dark, listening to the crickets chirping in the fields around us. I know Damon and I were prolonging this night as long as we could.

“I love you Melanie Booker.” He expressed passionately, looking at me with hurt longing.

“I love you too Damon Wyatt,” I barely get out.

“Now you know what you need to do Mel.”

“I know.” I got up and slowly started blowing out the candles. Three….two...I looked at him sitting beneath the tree as I grabbed the last candle.

“Until we meet again under our pear tree.” Damon uttered with sadness in his voice.

“Until we meet again.” I smiled at him as I blew out the last candle.

The End