Under the Stelliferous

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.

We thrive and perish by the same rule, and fear is an animalistic one. We are blind animals, attempting to glimpse the vast darkness of a universe we can’t comprehend. Grazing along planets; forging through the atmosphere until our pasture becomes brittle, and bland. In these moments, we abandon the bind of compassion; to feed desire. Leaving behind the fear that enabled our survival all along. Without the darkness, without fear; the contrast wouldn't exist. There would be only nothingness to compare it to.

We are an evolved species; created to withstand fluctuations of gravitational pulls of a new planet. We dance throughout the atmosphere attached to pulleys made from fluorescent twine. Each of us; a unique shiny fixture on an unidentified surface. But, years of training could not prepare us for these moments. When the thrill of a fresh planet erodes; the faults, and crevices begin to appear.

Beta and I were carefully curated for this project. As twins, we possessed an entwined flair; sharing the same agonies, and sentiments. In these onerous moments, this no longer seemed auspicious. Even the stars no longer appeared stelliferous; they were unrecognizable, and abstract. In fleeting moments, our emotions began to push us towards a precipice, with a glimpse into the abyss.

It was dusk in the revolution of our path around our twinning planet, and Beta and I were tasked to repair a single solar panel to prepare for a premature sun rise. A task with facile movements achievable by most of the guild. One person to restrict the tether, and one to complete the pursuit.

With swift, and calculated movements, Beta slammed the bay door open, and swung around onto the solar platform. I followed, with her tether hovering millimeters above my hand, gently allowing it to glide across my nylon glove.

“Rough, please,” Beta said through the radio.

I stepped back with my right foot, and reached for the rough cutter attached next to me on a magnetic wall. Those cryptic thoughts squirming, and slinking through my mind. I knew our fate. I knew Beta and I were soon destined to death. Hurdling through the universe on a desolate sphere; with no projected path. Our resources were quickly dwindling, and no one was close enough to hear our screams; we were alone.

I nudged the cutter from the wall, and turned back to hand it to Beta. There is a peace that wears well on her, with the twin moons reflected back in her eyes. I wanted her to feel nothing short of significant. I wanted to replace any distress.

I held her rope taught in my hand, the cutter in the other. With deliberate action, I set her free. She was gone; her dust swept across the fields in glimmering melodious piles. Flecks grazed across my skin. I stood staring out into the vastness of our new habitat with paralyzing thought. All the emotion; despair, evaporated, attaching themselves to the glimmering specks of dust floating by. The same matter birthed stars, planets; the trivial little things of the universe. The gathered thoughts I harbor, collected over time; were now nothingness, meaningless, emotionless; the formation of dense, ice, dead rock.

With flooded eyes, I glared up at the neighboring stars; a diminutive feeling. She was gone, and I would never see her again. That harrowing dread of helplessness was creeping up my arms, carried by pulsing blood; a stampeding beat. My brain, spiraling with revolving fear.

I tried to get into her head; “come back...Beta please.” But, her thoughts were empty. This illusion of a world appeared pointless; lifeless without her.