U turn

“Let’s see, maybe is the one with the magenta T-shirt.” As he pulls over, he lowers the front window but it was not necessary, the guy on the sidewalk checked his phone to make sure that it was the correct car and opens the back passenger's door. “Michael?” With a single nod, the passenger affirms with his head not even saying a word, and the Uber X ride begins.

As the ride unfolds, a medium to heavy traffic welcomed them nearby Pier 39. From the pick-up on North Point St. to Pier 39 was a swift 3min. ride. From there, it took a bit of mastery to dodge the 4pm. traffic. Welcome to the streets of San Francisco.

“I’m going to take a different route, it’s ok by you?” As he waits for a response from the user, he manages to look from the rear mirror to find a lost in thought passenger. With disdain, the untalkative passenger simply said, “whatever.”

While taking a left turn on Powell St. right in front of ihop, they finds themselves in a kind of traffic jam once again. "It’s the same old story, by the way, my name is Alex. Well you must know, my name, is on the app. Alex the driver, black Honda Accord.”

The passenger looks for his phone and makes himself a bit more “comfortable” by adopting a swayback posture, open his mouth and inquires. “Ahh, now I see it, you got connected music, great.” And just like that, the passenger activates his favorite streaming service for music listening and “Trollz’ by 6ix9ine and Nicki Minai starts to play as they make a right turn at the 3rd cross street into Bay St.

“You know what, I grew up around this area. It was so different when I was a kid. San Francisco was a flamboyant city, a one of a kind place to be.” The passenger still looking at his phone mumble, “Yeah, she like how I throw them racks, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Keep on throwin' that cash, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Alex continues, “You know what, near 2pm a ride took me to Daly County. As I was there I took the chance to park near The Cow Palace venue. Ohh man, let me tell you, that place is magical.”

Looking not at all interested on hearing anything besides his tune, the passenger with the magenta t-shirt turns his face towards the door window and sighs, there’s no escape, the traffic congestion looks not promising at all.

Alex continues. “On August 16, 1977. I when to the venue with my so-called-girlfriend at the time to see Kiss on their Love Gun tour. I know, for you that’s boring music, music for old-farts like me. Well, let me tell you that during those days they were HUGE. Can you imagine a band all wearing make-up blasting the loudest music you could imagine? That was Kiss.”

The passenger again looks at Alex and that simple gaze was enough to get him started.

“You know what, that was a sad day, that evening, Elvis Presley died. I remember where I was when I heard the news. My dear Mom was beside me when we heard it on the radio. I said to her. "Ohhh Lord, the King of Rock and roll is dead, there was no one like him and there will never be.”

The GPS commands to keep on straight on Lombart St for another mile and a half to finally take the exit to US 101.

“Kiss acknowledged the event by playing an outstanding version on “Jailhouse Rock.” There were so many tears, people were baffled to hear the King’s music on that day. So many tears, believe me, I thing everyone inside the venue cried.”

After that heartfelt recollection of events, they went silent for almost the rest of the ride. Iggy Azalea’s “Mo Bounce.” blends with the sound of friction against the asphalt. While that obnoxious rhythm goes on, Alex thoughts run wild in his mind’s eye. He suddenly feels ashamed of what he thought of doing this morning. But today's the day. There’s no turning back.

In less than 2 minutes they destination was on their right. Not saying much again, the non-communicative passenger wearing the magenta t-shirt left, closed the car door and Alex was all alone once more. He looks at his phone to turn the driving app off and heads to his favorite place in San Francisco, the picture-perfect landmark, Golden Gate bridge.

From his last destination is less than a 3min drive. Once again he marveled at the mammoth construction, he lost count of how many times he has crossed the bridge. As a San Franciscan, it’s just part of the scenery, if you see it every day, it loses its charm. That’s the beauty of human nature, you can get used to everything.

He arrives at Vista point parking lot, miraculously he finds this empty parking space right near the entrance. Without any doubt is a sign. This place is always packed with tourists armed with cameras and phones, ready to get a snapshot of this one of a kind location.

He is not here to take pictures of something he has seen more than a thousand times in his lifespan. Not at all, he's been fixated with an idea, and one idea only. He moves through the crowd like a ghost, nobody notices him, why would they? he's just another face on an overcrowded public space. Is incredible how can we feel alone among people, even among our loved ones. He is not a misanthropist, not at all. Is just a feeling of emptiness that consumes itself like an ouroboros.

With great fatigue he manages to walk across the bridge, it took him around 20mins to get from Vista point parking lot to what he thinks is the center of the Golden Gate Bridge. From there, he can see the burgeoning metropolis across the bay. From the distance, you can’t hear the never ending noise of this thriving location, from this height, you can’t see the slumps and the bumps on the street. It looks so peaceful and perfectly arranged. This is the way this city should be remembered, not as a den of vice and decay.

He manages to step over the four-foot railing and looks at the cold water of the San Francisco bay. He said to himself, “Today is the day, I had enough.” Again, a myriad of memories start flashing before his eyes. With his gaze fixed on a distant sailboat moving at ease, he voices out loud. “This is it, 5…4…3…”

‘Hey, come down, believe me, is not worth it!” Said one of the 2 officers that came in his aid. “Step down, there’s always a way.”

“I’ve reached the point of no return, it’s useless.” Said a desperate Alex right at the verge of despair. “Can you imagine? In less than 5 seconds it would be over. I can’t stand it anymore. This is my way out, leave me alone!"

One of the Officers, a well- build, 43 years old, born and raised San Franciscan continued. “What’s happening, why don’t we talk over here, look at me, Sr. Please, look at me, we can work this out.”

A lost Alex took a glimpse at the officer, takes off his baseball cap and starts rambling at high speed. “I don’t want to be a burden, there’s no use.”

Looking that his persuasive training stopped the resolve of this determined man. He sticks to the protocol and listen without interruption.

“This country is not for people like me. This society does not welcome people like me. I am 58 years old, I am sick, I don’t want to put this weight on my son’s shoulders. I can solve this right here, right now.”

The officer thinks about his training once again and remembers that if a person talks about what ills them is a good sign, deep inside there’s hope.

“Listen, please sr. can you tell me your name? Mine is Jeff Picciardo.”

Alex looks up and responds, “Alex, my name is Alex.”

“So Alex, tell me what the problem is? The solution is not down there, look at me Alex, chose life! Don’t let them win!”

“It’s too late for that Jeff, it’s a downward spiral. Have you ever heard that destiny plays its cards in a way no one can comprehend?” Said Alex looking down at the from-the-distance minuscule waves.

Jeff asked: “Alex, do you have children?”

“Two sons and 1 grandson.” Replied Alex looking straight into Jeff eyes.

“Alex, when is your grandson's birthday?” The officer could see that Alex’s eyes got watery as soon as he mentioned his grandson.

“July 08.”

“Today is June 11, 20 days from now. How old is he?”

“He’s 9 right now.” A deeply moved Alex sobbed.

“Alex, don’t do this to him, there’s more to life, chose life, reach out for my hand!"

Taking a final look down, Alex moves his head from left to right in rapid progression to decisively take a step forward, a step forward towards a better tomorrow. He chooses life.

He reached to grab Jeff hand but at that exact moment a strong wind gust caught him off balance. With one hand he is holding Jeff’s arm and the rail with the other. They both focus their attention on the baseball cap that's falling towards the thick mist that rested below them. After a couple of seconds of freefall, it was still visible, carried by the breeze like a weightless feather. Suddenly, the black baseball cap crossed the mist's threshold, never to be seen again.