Two Years In

June 28th 2021

Hello darling. Can you believe it's already been two years? Two years since we became something. That something wasn’t exactly specified but we made one thing clear: we weren’t sleeping with anyone else besides each other. I love thinking about the months that came after that, the warmth in the air, the drinks we had with friends, the “playground rules” that you followed; which entailed never actually telling me you loved me but only showing it with your charismatic bullying. Two years ago, it was the calm before the storm, the one time that I felt calm and rested but also excited and exhilarated. It didn’t last very long though, did it? Because a year and 6 months ago, the universe couldn’t handle what we had. The world woke up and ate humanity whole. It chewed us all into a bloody, hopeless pulp. When I ran into your old roommate, they said you were asleep when it all happened. Which would explain why you weren't with me or calling. Not like phones were of any use at the time anyway. It all happened so quickly, it was like one second there was movement and the next, there was nothing. I imagine that you couldn’t have slept through the whole thing. Perhaps your roommate didn’t want to tell me that you were in a lot of pain before you were lulled into the deepest slumber a person could go into.

If you were asleep, I guess I should tell you what happened. Now I must say that no one is 100% sure what happened, the government didn’t give much of an explanation because they said they couldn’t. They said they were just as confused as we were. Just as confused as the entire world was. From what I remember, I was on my way to go try that coffee place on Stuarts St. I knew you had been drinking the night before so I didn’t even bother to text you or call you to tell you to wake up. The sky was red, the way it looks when California is on fire but a lot more intense. I didn’t question it much since it was 7 am and I still hadn't fully woken up, plus, you know I'm a sucker for a colored sky that isn't just blue. I was getting off the freeway when I saw a massive shadow cast over the entire street, then suddenly, there was so much light. It was the brightest white light I had ever seen and it was everywhere. It was like being an ant when suddenly a massive, dumb human shines a flashlight right onto you. Just a huge bright white light surrounding everyone. And when the light was gone, there they were. But that’s all we know, is that they were there but absolutely no one remembers what they looked like, all we can remember was the destruction. Some of us can remember these huge shadow-like figures but its like none of us can mentally attach a face or color or anything, just shadows. They were massive, like Los Angeles buildings and they turned everything into what may as well be a coarse sand to them. Millions of people dead everywhere. And this didn’t only happen here, it happened everywhere. The news told us that it was everywhere but we don’t really know because as of now, the general public really doesn’t have the technology to contact anyone outside the US. How did I survive? I don’t know but honestly I think it had a lot to do with hoping id see you again.

Today, our two year anniversary, the sky is still so red, the rubble is still rubble and I just sit and wonder what it would be like if I had slept over that night, would we both be dead? I used to make fun of you for getting me this locket that I wear around my neck. Heart shaped, gold, and lined with a royal purple velvet when you open it. I called you cheesy and lame for showing me you loved me because it went against “playground rules”. I know you knew that I loved it. But now I am here in a field that regrew its grass, staring up at the red sky, feeling the extreme heat hugging me, missing you and my family, and wishing we would've put our pictures into this locket of mine. I sometimes get scared that ill forget what your face looks like. I imagine outliving this aftermath and being 60 years old barely being able to remember what the world was like before the day the giant shadows ate us up and spit us out.

I miss you. I miss the simple things about living in a time where you exist at the same time as me, in a world that wasnt as destructive as we thought.

But it is ok, I will live another day and try to remember that gorgeous face of yours, along with the world that I took for granted.

I love you but only like a child loves their stuffed rabbit.