True Love

I just stare at the figure in front of me. He should be dead but he is standing in front of me. Walking towards me with the same look he used to have when he would “visit” me in my room at night.

“How is my little piggy doing?” I cringe as he gets closer and curl up in a ball. “What’s the matter? Don’t be like that. You know I love you. Don’t you love me?” I swing at him but I hit thin air. Where did he go? I look around and see nothing but I hear him.

“Why would you do that to me? You dare to hit me! I am the only one that wanted you when your mom left. Did she take you? NO! I got stuck with you! You dare treat me like this?”

I feel his hand on my neck, pulling me up and turning me towards him. I must be dreaming because he was never this strong but why can’t I wake up? Why am I going through this? The fog clears from the area and I notice we are on a frozen lake. I can’t see the edge of it and I start to whimper as he pulls me closer to him. I can smell the alcohol on his breath and I feel dizzy from the pungent smell permeating through my lungs. I start to feel myself go limp and start to give in to him.

Somehow, someway, I manage to summon the strength to kick him in the balls and he drops me, screaming, “YOU BITCH!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU--” His voice fades and I run towards the other side of the lake, trying not to slip and smash my head clean through my ass. I stop and slide for a few feet and take a look around to try to find the edge. WHERE IS THE FUCKING SHORE!!

I hear him behind me, cursing me as he is trying to run to me. I can’t let him grab me. Not again. He doesn’t control me anymore. What he did to me is not normal, it is not right!! I am stronger now and he can’t hurt me. You think you are strong but you are weak. Too weak to do anything as a little girl. Still too weak to do anything now. What makes you think you have changed? Do you think Jerry will come and save you now?

“YOU GET THE FUCK BACK HERE LITTLE PIGGY!! I’M COMING FOR YOU PIGGY!!” I hear him getting closer and I start running as fast as I can to my right and I don’t stop this time. If he wants me, he is going to have to try to catch up. Not this time, not this time. The farther I run, the less the fog clears up. How far away is this shoreline? I swear I have been run--

I hit the edge and slam my face into the ground, busting my lip up and dazing me for a few moments. DON’T STOP! GET UP AND KEEP RUNNING! I stand up, shake my head a little and try to keep moving in the same direction. I turn around and I don’t see him. No shadow figure in the fog coming closer, I don’t even hear him anymore. I don’t care, I just keep running, even with this stitch in my side. I am breathing heavier and heavier as I run but I can’t quit now.

I look behind me and still see nothing and decide to stop behind a tree to catch my breath and, hopefully, my bearings. Where am I? I don’t recognize anything and all I can see is trees all around me. I see a faint light in the distance and decide to run for it. I push off the tree and sprint as hard as I can.

“THERE YOU ARE! I’M LITTLE PIGGY!!” What the hell? I feel myself start to panic and I run faster than I have ever run before. You got this. Just keep running and you will be safe soon. Maybe, you can find a weapon in there to kill this bastard once and for all. I see the light getting bigger and bigger. I can start to make out the house but I can never focus enough to get a clear picture. I turn around and suddenly I see him! He is running full tilt and not stopping. I scream and try to run faster and faster.

I get within a few yards of the house and stop dead in my tracks. What? What is my old house doing in the forest? We were in a neighborhood, not the woods. I turn around and he is gone. I stop and try to remain still and quiet to try to hear him moving around. All I hear is…..nothing. Wait. Why is it so quiet? Shouldn’t there be “forest noises”? Silence. The deafening silence is all I hear. I start to panic and turn towards the house and that is where I see him.

“Hey, little piggy. What’s wrong? Are you ok? Come inside. It’s ok. I have dinner all done and ready for us. I was worried about you.” I stand there, just staring at him. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to my baby?”

“Daddy?” I manage to squeak out. “What’s going on? Where are we?”

He smiles at me like he always did when he was concerned about me. “Home baby. We are home. Are you ok?” I look at him with tears in my eyes. I had forgotten how much he seemed to love me at times. Like a father should and for some reason, I was calm. At peace again. “Hey, come here.” I run up to him and he wraps his arms around me in a massive hug. The kind of hug I would get, as a little girl. Whenever I was upset or something happened, I could always go to him. At least, before I became a woman, as he would tell me.

“Oh, daddy! I don’t know what is going on. I keep having these dreams that seem so real and I don’t know what is going on.” I bury my head into his chest and just start crying. “I just want them to stop. Please, please make them stop, daddy!” I lose it on in and just drench his stomach with my tears. He just pulls me in tighter and kisses my forehead.

“It’s ok, baby. It’s ok. Daddy is here and you are safe now.” He caresses my head and I feel like I did when I was younger. “There, there, there.” I feel his hand move down my back. “Daddy’s got you now.” This last part ended in a sinister tone and I try to push him away from me but I can’t. “Hey, hey, hey baby. No need to be scared anymore. I am here now. Where is my little piggy?” His hand slides lower still. “There she is. The--” I kick him between the legs again and he pushes me away and I hit the ground.

My vision shudders for a moment and he is gone again. Where is he? I look towards the house and it had changed again. Wait a moment. Why am I in the barn? What is going on? Will this dream ever stop? If my dream keeps changing, maybe I can change it to something good. I close my eyes and just to think of Jerry. If only I was in his arms again. Hell, even if he was just near me, I could get through this.

I hear something move close to me but I am afraid to open my eyes again. I am done seeing this shit. I am done with these nightmares. “I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT!!” I scream out at the top of my lungs.

“Baby? What’s the matter? I am here baby. I am he--”

I am here. Right here, waiting on you. Come to me and be free of this torment. You know what you need to do, my little broken piglet. Come to me and I will keep you safe.

“NO!! NO!! JERRY?! WHERE ARE YOU!!” My voice crackles a little as my fear shows through. I am shaking now. I stay quiet again and hear footsteps coming closer to me. I jump and hold my hands out in front of me. “STOP!! STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!”

“Baby? It’s me, Jerry. I am here. I am going to come closer. It is ok. I got you.” His voice calms me down a little bit. I hear him getting closer to me as he talks to me, trying to get me to open my eyes. I don’t want to see anything but him and I am afraid that I am still dreaming and it will be one of those other…..things.

I feel his hand on mine. “See? It’s just me baby. I am here.” I slam myself into him. Straining to keep my eyes shut. If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up to that hell I was just in. He caresses my head and kissed the top of it. I feel his breath on it and I am safe. Finally, I am safe and in his arms.

“I saw him. I saw my dad. I was on a frozen lake and he had me. He was so real. I could even smell the booze on his breath. What is going on baby? Why am I thinking about this? He’s gone. Why is he here?” I breakdown by saying this. Crying hard against his chest and feeling him hold me tighter and tighter.

“You are safe now baby. He can’t hurt you anymore.” He pulls away so I can see his eyes. They are so calming and mesmerizing and full of love. He leans over to kiss my forehead. “Nothing will happen to you as long as you are in my ar--” He stops and his eyes get large and I can see the fear in his eyes. He coughs and blood squirts from his mouth. I catch his eyes for a brief second before he is tossed aside.

Hello, piggy. Miss me? I scream and fall backward, staring at Jerry’s body, sliding down the barn wall. If I have told you once, I have told you your whole life, it bends down to look at me. No one will keep you from me, piggy. I am the only one that can keep you safe. Come to me and know true peace. Know true love.

I kick at it and it vanishes like smoke. I get up and run towards the barn, hoping to reach it and get something to fight it. What would I even use? I just kicked at it and it turned to smoke, right before my eyes. I don’t think there is anything in here that would pose any threat to it. I just need to wake up. WAKE UUUUUP ALREADY!!!

I start shaking violently. My head rocks back and forth and I am finally able to open my eyes a little bit.

“BABY!!?? BABY, WAKE UP!!” I hear Jerry and I feel his breath on me as I open my eyes and see him sitting on the floor, his eyes big and full of fear. “Wake up, baby!” He pulls me to him. I feel limp. My limbs won’t move at all but I can see him, calling to me.

Where, where am I? I feel the sun on my skin and, is that grass?