The Window Test

The outside world was unknown to her, but she could see a glimpse of it through the window in his room.

Only one small, fleeting glimpse. That was all that was permitted. A carefully rationed, perfectly measured taste of the wretched wastelands their ancestors had left behind. A reminder of what would happen if humanity didn’t work together.

And yet, that one glimpse had changed everything.

Susan clutched the scrap of paper in one sweaty palm with a grip of iron. Panting heavily, struggling to control her thumping heart, she pushed through yet another door.

This was wrong, she knew it. The wrongness of her actions echoed in her skull with every move she made and thumped alongside each terrified heartbeat in her body. It coated her mind in a thick haze of paranoia, conjuring up phantom sounds of footsteps and causing her to periodically freeze with the panic of hunted prey.

But this was not the first wrong thing Susan had done. Oh, far from it. Even she could barely follow the doomed path of events that had spiralled down to this person she had become - a thief, a sneak, and a liar. Everything about her now was wrong … or perhaps it was the first time she had ever been truly right in her life.

Susan couldn’t be sure. Nothing made sense now. Sense had long ago lost any meaning.

She was only certain of one thing; that she could not ignore the gravitational pull of the window anymore, nor the wild and reckless excitement that thrummed through her veins like liquid fire at the mere thought of seeing it again. It was as though the first sight of it had unleashed a fierce, untameable beast inside of her that would stop at nothing to achieve its goal. And although it was wildly illegal and hopelessly impossible, Susan knew that somehow she just had to see the window again.

And so, despite her trembling limbs, she opened the scrap of paper and followed the map onwards through the dark, empty corridor, her memories from the last few days trailing behind her like a shadow...

***

"It’s today! Kay, I can’t believe it’s happening today!" Susan exclaimed as she hurried down the winding underground street as fast as her legs would carry her.

"Calm down, or you’ll wake the whole Colony up," Kay laughed beside her. Susan couldn’t help but notice even in her excitement how much Kay suited her government-issued clothes; they made everyone else seem dull and gray, but if anything they managed to make Kay look brighter. Susan wondered whether she herself looked any good in the uniform - she somehow doubted it, although she had no way to check. Reflective surfaces were not allowed in the Colony, for vanity would lead to "a desire to express individuality", as the Government said.

"This way, Kay!" Susan grinned. She pulled her friend by the arm through a smaller, more heavily guarded passageway.

"By all the Colonies, I hope you get assigned a good job," Kay said. "After all the studying and hard work you’ve put in for the test, it would suck if you landed yourself garbage-shovelling duty at the graduation ceremony today."

"Ssh! Don’t talk like that. I know I’ll get a good job. Like you said, I’ve worked hard for it — whatever the test is, I can beat it!" Susan said optimistically. "But as for yourself … well, garbage-shovelling might be a best-case scenario."

Kay shrugged. "I’m just excited to be able to own my own house. Besides, the whole test is run by the Government, so it’s probably rigged anyway." Susan shot her friend a look. Kay was always saying things like this; things that boarded so closely on treason it made Susan nervous. Everything about her friend was rebellious, even down to her name — which was actually Kaytelin, but of course she insisted on being called Kay. You weren't supposed to shorten your name because it promoted unnecessary individuality. But that was Kay; always speaking her mind, never afraid to be herself. A "rules were made to be broken" type of person. In Susan’s opinion, it was a miracle she had even made it to graduation day.

The two arrived at the entrance to the government building just in the nick of time. The other soon-to-be-graduates were already in line, waiting patiently for the doors to open. Susan quickly slotted in behind someone, discreetly cursing Kay under her breath for making them stop and buy honey rolls on the way there.

"Students of Echo Colony," boomed a voice — the voice of the Grand Leader. "This way, if you will."

The line of people followed him smartly into the large domed building. Susan was shaken. She hadn’t realised that the Grand Leader himself would be taking them into the test! His face was much more worn and lined up close; more human, somehow. His head was smoothly shaved just like everyone else in Echo Colony, but his black uniform stood out sharply amongst the sea of gray Government-issued clothes worn by the graduates.

Though Susan had never been inside the government building before, she barely noticed the sights of grandeur around her as she was suddenly seized by nerves. What if Kay was right? What if, after all of her hard work, she would end up shovelling garbage for the rest of her days?

Snap out of it, Susan, she thought. Calm down and focus; this is your one chance. You can’t allow yourself to make any mistakes.

The hallways grew dimmer the further they walked. And then, before she could process how they had reached it so quickly, there she was in the Grand Leader’s office. The room was completely dark, the only source of light radiating out from the sides of an ominous grey curtain on the far side of the room.

Susan swallowed. The window. The last ever window to the outside world.

The Grand Leader looked much older in the darkness as he faced the students. "Everyone, gather around and face the curtain," he instructed, his voice devoid of emotion. There was some quiet shuffling amongst the students. Susan lost Kay in the darkness as she pushed against the sea of people until she was in the front row. Whatever was coming, she would show the Grand Leader that she was not afraid to face it.

It happened completely without warning. One moment she was standing in front of the dull, drab curtain, and the next she was staring through the only window in the whole of Echo Colony. Startled, she tried to drink in all the details of the view before her, suddenly filled with a lustful desire to see what she had only heard about in stories. But she was only able to catch a few snippets — a sliver of grey, a faint silhouette — before the window was snatched from her and the veil was replaced.

She knew she was only allowed one small look. She knew that it was part of the test.

Still, she had not expected it to be over that quickly.

Susan reluctantly took a step backwards, her hands heavy by her sides.

"Congratulations, graduates. You have now seen through the window. I am pleased to announce that you have all passed the final test," the Grand Leader announced in a flat voice. "Please accompany me through the hallway, to where you will complete your graduation ceremony."

Susan exchanged confused looks with other graduates around her in the gloom. Was that really it? Countless hours of studying and preparing to pass their final examinations had led to this very moment, this final task — the Seeing of the Window. None of them had believed even for a second that this wouldn’t involve some other challenge.

But there they were, being silently herded out of the cold room with the mirror and back into the corridor without another word.

Could their last test really have been just to look through the window? How was that supposed to assess their character and determine what job would be best suited to them? It had barely even been a look!

Susan wished she could share these thoughts with one of her classmates, but they were meant to stay silent. So she bit her lip and tried to ignore the questions that were whirring inside of her like a broken motor.

"This way, graduates."

With trained, precise movements, the line of students marched single file through yet another tall, iron-framed door, down a long line of stairs. Susan was surprised to find herself now standing on the auditorium stage in the main square of the Colony. She had been there thousands of times before for various government speeches over the years, but only ever as a member of the audience. Standing on the stage herself sent a small thrill of excitement coursing through her veins.

The main square was the very centre, the beating heart of their whole underground Colony. All the other streets spiralled out from it like an intricate spider web, pathways weaving their way further and further into the earth with each twist and turn. Thick concrete walls lined every wall, floor and ceiling, acting as a permanent shield against the surface radiation and whatever other monsters their ancestors had unleashed. It was what had allowed humankind to survive - or at least most of it.

Of course, it was the Grand Leader who had done the most service for his species. Without him, the Colony would cease to function and humanity would crumble away into nothing.

As if summoned by the thought, the Grand Leader himself suddenly emerged onto the stage. Nodding formally at the audience, which was made up of a few select members of the town, he reached the podium in a few short strides and raised his hands to signal for silence. The effect was immediate; a tidal wave of stillness washed over the square, every pair of eyes now trained on the man who was their leader.

"Greetings, Echo Colony." Although they informally called themselves "the Colony", they were only one in a massive underground network. Together they made up the last of humankind. "We are gathered here today to celebrate a most monumental occasion — the promotion of our students into new working adults." A polite spattering of applause followed his words. "Each of the students you see here before you have worked incredibly hard to reach this point, and as of today, have all passed their final test. So without further ado, let's begin."

Susan watched anxiously as her classmates around her, one by one, approached the Grand Leader and were given their new lives. She had promised herself that she would pay attention the whole ceremony, but apprehension gripped her in a tight, inescapable vise and she had become more focused on stilling her shaking limbs.

After what felt like both an eternity and only a few seconds, her own name was called.

Forcing movement into her legs, she stiffly crossed the stage. Suddenly the stares of the audience seemed hostile instead of familiar.

"Susan - seventh born of her year group — has passed with some of the highest scores of her year," the Grand Leader said. "She has shown immense talent in all areas of academics, and so she has been assigned to an apprenticeship in mechanics, first rate." Susan felt her heart lift. First rate mechanics! It was an honour to be selected for such a thing.

She tried to ignore the unsatisfied feeling now clinging to her like an unwanted bug. The faces around her were lively and happy, just as she knew hers should be. After all, this was the best day of her life! And she had received a job that was better than she could have ever dared to hope for.

Everything is wonderful in the world, Susan thought.

She forced herself to push away any lingering thoughts of the window.

***

Susan sank down to the floor, desperately trying to catch her breath.

She was nearly there — so close now to the thing she had been dreaming about for days. A spontaneous grin somehow managed to claw its way onto Susan’s face in spite of the situation as she sat there in complete darkness.

She had timed everything perfectly, waiting until the lights in the Colony had gone out to simulate night-time before she’d stolen a map from an officer and entered the Government building through a hidden vent. Most townspeople were at the mid-year celebration in the main square, so the building was nearly empty of guards. But Susan knew that it wouldn’t be long before both the lights and guards came back. Which was why she had to be quick and careful; so, so careful.

But I only want a look, Susan told herself. Just one more glimpse at the window is all I need.

It was the only thing that could possibly give her the answers she so desperately craved. At first, she had tried to ignore the questions inside of her. But her curiosity was like a starving animal, desperate to be fed. This was the only way to find the truth.

This was it — this was what the past month had come down too.

Susan rose to her feet and continued down the passageway.

***

"First rate mechanics? You little brainiac!"

Susan looked up to see Kay approaching her in the mess hall with a small bowl of porridge in her arms.

"I know; I can hardly believe it!" Susan said with the practised fake smile she’d managed to perfect over the past day.

"I couldn’t find you after the ceremony yesterday," Kay said as she sat down at the table. "Where did you go? What happened to our planned milkshake celebration?"

"Oh — I’m sorry! I went to say goodbye to my parents," Susan said with genuine feeling. After the ceremony yesterday, socialising was the last thing she felt like doing. She’d gone to say goodbye to the small house she had called home for the past 18 years of her life; now that she was an official adult, she’d be given her own small one-room residence on the other side of the Colony and she’d barely see either of her parents.

"Well, I can hardly blame you. First rate mechanics! You’re a genius," was the delighted reply of her friend.

"I know, it's crazy," Susan said.

"Definitely beats my pipes and sewage job," Kay agreed with a sigh. "But hey, at least it’s not garbage duty." Susan gave her friend a rueful smile and then went back to her own porridge miserably. "Susan, what’s up? You’re so quiet. It’s freaking me out a little."

Susan shrugged. "I guess I just have a lot to process. Kay, what did you think of the window test?"

"Oh, it was so disappointing. I was looking forward to seeing a hideous wasteland, but we hardly saw the window at all! And how was that supposed to be a test? Not that I’m complaining; for once, not studying didn’t get me into any trouble."

"That’s what I thought," Susan said, brightening. "Doesn’t it make you curious? Don’t you wish you could properly see what’s on the other side?"

Kay waved her hand like she was swatting a fly. "Nah. Who cares? The world up there is dead anyway. The test is over - let’s just enjoy being adults." There was a pause. "Susan, seriously, what is it? Did you see something in the window?"

Susan shrugged uncomfortably. "Kind of. I just — I think I saw something. I think I saw … oh, it sounds silly."

"What? What is it?"

"I thought I saw … a person," Susan said. She felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders at the confession.

Kay laughed. "The only humans still alive are down here in the Colonies."

"I know,” Susan said, slightly defensive. “I’m just telling you what I saw." she stood up and walked off without another word.

Days began to pass by in a blur. The first rate mechanics job wasn’t nearly as interesting as Susan had hoped. She began to see Kay less and less as she stayed behind longer every night in the Government library after her working hours, hopelessly obsessed with the window.

Susan slowly found herself becoming more and more restless. She dedicated every spare moment of her waking hours to the window, whether that be researching it or aimlessly wandering around the Government building hoping to catch another look at it. Even her dreams would not let her rest, teasing her with flashes of the dark curtain being lifted and her crawling through into the glowing aboveland.

It was tortuous. Knowing that the window was there, but never being allowed to see it again.

And then one day at breakfast, a government official approached her.

"You are Susan?" the man asked. Susan nodded warily. "I've been sent to inform you that your friend Kaytelin has been permanently dispatched to Alpha Colony where she will further her training in pipes and sewage."

For once all thoughts of the window vanished from Susan’s head. Why would Kay not tell her about this? She’d never wanted to leave before.

What if… her mind whispered. What if the Government sent her there against her will?

She blinked in shock at the thought. That was the sort of traitorous thing Kay would say, not Susan.

But what if everything Kay ever said about the Government is true? What if I’ve just been too blind to see it? After all, what kind of Government tests its students by showing them a window?

What kind of Government leaves people above the ground?

A new kind of certainty dawned in Susan as she realised there was only one person who could possibly answer her questions. Only one person who could quench her curiosity and bring back her peace of mind … and that person was on the other side of the window.

***

The tall, grey door loomed over her in the darkness. Susan had made it, at last. Her fingers trembling, she pushed open the handle, the metal cold against her skin.

There it is. In all its terrifying, beautiful glory stood the window. Something was different, however. There was no light shining out from behind the curtain. And, she realised a moment too late, there was a chair that hadn't been there before.

"It’s Susan, isn’t it?"

Her heart dropped. No, no, no, no…

There was a man in the chair — a man watching her with a crooked smile and glittering eyes, arms folded neatly on his lap.

The Grand Leader.

"I was just — went wrong way — got to go —" Susan mumbled, quickly swivelling around and heading back towards the door.

There was a laugh. "You don’t have to lie to me, Susan. I know why you’re here."

She froze with her back still to him.

"Yes, that’s right. I know you’re interested in the window. I know you came here to see it again. I, too, find the window to be greatly intriguing." Susan still didn’t move. "In fact, that is why I am here tonight - to see it again. You can come sit with me. Don’t be afraid."

Susan stiffly turned around.

"You’re … you’re not going to punish me?"

The Grand Leader laughed again. "Punish you? Come here, girl." Susan reluctantly inched her way over to him, her palms sweaty. "Tell me. What is it about the window that made you illegally sneak into the Government building to see it again?"

Susan swallowed at the unflinching truth of his words. "I - I don’t know."

"That first look wasn’t enough for you, was it? You wanted another glimpse," the Grand Leader said, almost sympathetically. His eyes were utterly unreadable. "And what bad traits do you think your actions have displayed?"

Was this her punishment? Admitting her faults? "I’ve shown that I am very selfish and greedy," Susan said, her gaze fixed firmly on the floor, feeling like a naughty child being scolded.

The Grand Leader muttered quietly to himself. "If only that were the case. Alas, I fear it shows that you possess something much, much worse. Much more dangerous." He paused, and cocked his head slightly. "It shows that you have curiosity."

Susan said nothing.

"Ah yes," the Grand Leader said. "Yes, yes. Your curiosity is bursting inside of you like a bucket filled to the brim. I can see that now."

Susan opened her mouth to apologise for her actions, but then stopped. She was not sorry, she realised. She wanted to see the window again, no matter the cost.

"Do you know how I have remained the Grand Leader for so long?" the man asked. "Every leader walks the very fine line between caring for their subjects and controlling them. I am the only one who has mastered this balancing act. For I do not control my people. I merely contain them. There is a difference in that, Susan, however small it may be. And that difference is what has allowed me to remain Grand Leader." He lifted his hands, gesturing to the walls around him. "This is the true way of ruling. Everyone contributes to society in some way. Everyone has an equal share of food and money. Everyone is happy. The only condition? They allow me to rule over them and keep everything in order."

He suddenly stood up and slowly walked over to the window. "The last step, of course, is to eliminate the people who threaten our society. This is the step that so many great leaders of the past failed in. I, however, have carefully and consistently managed to eliminate every potential threat since I first became leader."

"You said you’re not controlling us," Susan dared to say, "but that sounds very controlling to me."

The Grand Leader paused for a moment, and then suddenly smiled. "It would seem that way to you," he said. "But what I am doing is a noble thing. And in all my experience of eliminating these threats, I have discovered that the worst type of person is not a rebellious one but a curious one."

A rebellious one.

"Did you really send Kay to the Alpha Colony?" Susan asked as a new, hideous thought struck her.

"Kay? I assume you mean Kaytelin?" the Grand Leader said. "Kaytelin was removed from the Colony because she was a threat. She had the potential to rebel against my system."

"But she’ll be equally rebellious in another Colony," Susan reasoned, begged almost. "Probably more so. She’ll hate you now for taking her away."

"Susan. There are no other Colonies. We are all that remain of humanity."

Susan stumbled backwards. "That’s not true," she said, her emotions at last getting the better of her. "That’s not true."

"Unfortunately, it is very true. But it makes people feel better when they think that there are other Colonies around them, as though they are part of a huge community. And it also gives me a nice excuse whenever I have to eliminate someone."

"No!" Susan shouted. "You are controlling us. You’ve been lying to us this whole time and calling it noble! Controlling us is not allowing us to live. You don’t even allow us full access to the last window!"

The Grand Leader shook his head slowly. "Ah, I see that even for all your curiosity and intelligence you have still not figured out the truth of the window."

Susan opened her mouth to say something back, but hesitated. Something in his tone of voice sent a warning bell ringing in her skull.

The man gave a small, rueful smile at her silence. "Susan, this window does not show us the outside world. The outside world is long gone, destroyed hundreds of years ago at the hands of our ancestors." He paused and turned back to the dark veil, a strange emptiness in his eyes. "In fact, this is not truly a window at all."

"What? What do you mean?" Susan asked, her voice small.

The Grand Leader's sharp blue eyes met her own. "It's a mirror, Susan. What you see before you is merely a reflection ... a reflection of our own world." In a swift movement, he pulled back the curtain.

A shiver of fear ran down Susan’s spine at the cold weight of his words. She slowly turned back to the window.

And screamed.

The figure looking back at her screamed too, falling to the floor just as she did, eyes wide and terrified.

She realised with a horrible, sickening jolt of her heart that the person she had been so mystified by had in fact been herself this whole time.

"That is why I became the Grand Leader in the first place," the Grand Leader continued. His voice had become strangely distant, as if he had forgotten that Susan was still in the room. "For I was the only one who knew the truth of the window. My grandfather was its past owner; he passed on the secret of it to me when I was just a boy. I realised early on during the first rebellions of the Colonies that I had the power to stop it. I had the power to bring peace to humankind, using this mirror as my guide."

"No," Susan said, fighting to regain control of her thoughts. "How could a simple mirror help you?"

The Grand Leader shook his head. "What do you think the window test was? I made this the last test all my subjects face before they go into adulthood, for it is my last chance to root out the biggest threat of all — curiosity. I gave you all a small taste of something that you had never seen before. And here you are, Susan. You could not stand the tiny glimpse I allowed you. You had to come back to see more. And here I was, waiting for you. Worked beautifully, didn’t it?"

Susan's heart began to pound frantically in her chest. She backed away slowly, inching her way to the door while the Grand Leader was facing the mirror.

"I truly am sorry, Susan. It is nothing personal, you must understand. But curiosity leads to questions, and questions leads to knowledge. And knowledge in the wrong hands is dangerous. But I promise your parents will be spared any pain. I will tell them that you are busy working in the mechanics department. Then perhaps a few weeks later I will tell them you have been dispatched to another Colony. You see? No one suffers. Everything stays the same. It is better this way."

He turned back to her with eyes as cold as ice. She froze as he raised a small black pistol, the barrel glaring down at her like a third eye.

"You see, I am like the thick concrete walls of our Colony, strong and protecting, humanity's saving grace. And you, Susan ... you are nothing more than a crack in a mirror. A crack that, however small, I cannot allow to spread."

The gun clicked in the man's hands, and in that split second of time Susan saw what was innevitable. And a seed of an idea blossomed in her mind.

Without another thought she leaned forwards and pushed the mirror right onto the floor, sending shards of glass richoeting off the floor.

She saw the Grand Leader's face, twisted with helpless fury as he pulled the trigger.

There was a loud BANG, and then everything went black.