The Vagary

"It is almost time," I mentally messaged, collating all of the files we had and locking it with a digital password. With my mind, I moved the files on top of Kit's name, and my NeuroNet's interface showed them being sent. 

"Thanks," my big brother Kit messaged back. "Z will want to know everything we've collected." The overlay of my NeuroNet opened in a video message, showing Kit walking into Central Park. 

For many months now, he and I had been trying to solve a mystery unlike any other. As part of a resistance movement against the government, he and I had collected a large dossier of files that could help solve this mystery. A government insider, known to us only by the letter Z, was our best operative. I clutched my heart-shaped locket around my neck; Mom would be proud. 

"So are you meeting Z today, finally?" I asked him, watching him march through the park.

"Something like that," he replied. "But I think this could be our best swing yet at figuring out The Vagary."

"Shh, don't even SAY it," I remarked, the very phrase sending chills down me. More commonly called the Death Thought, it was the one idea no one was allowed to ponder, lest the NeuroNet execute a terminal sequence of impulses into the brain, killing them instantly. But no one knew what this Death Thought even was, for obvious reasons. This fatal idea was the entire lynchpin behind the NeuroNet's power; a government that can instill fear and govern thoughts has ultimate control.

My Thought Meter rose to Vigilance level. I had to be careful - anything above Vigilance, starting with Warning level, could attract attention from the authorities. "I just feel we are this close, finally, to standing up against --"

"No!" he yelled. "You are playing with fire even voicing this aloud. You know They can hear you." He adjusted his gait, as if trying to avoid suspicion. "The notion that we are this close, perhaps, is even more reason to be careful."

"Yeah," I said, "but what if--" My Thought Level rose to Warning level, and the NeuroNet chip activated a pulse through my brain. Instantly, my thoughts were cleared, and my mind was blank. Kit's hologram on my vision overlay stared at me. 

"You good?" He asked.

"Yes..." I replied, confused. "I think I'm going to take a nap." I yawned. 

"You do that. I'll be home shortly with the goods." He terminated the video link. The goods? I hardly knew what he was talking about. All that I knew was that I was suddenly very sleepy. I laid down and instantly drifted into a tense and restless sleep...

-----

"Jane, wake up," I could hear the shouts from across the room, even as I was forcing myself out of a sleep-induced stupor. Opening my eyes and peering across the room, I saw Kit grinning, holding a small parcel. The NeuroNet from the chip inside my head produced the overlay over my vision, showing his name and threat level (low).

"What are you so excited about?" I quizzed, pulling myself upright on the couch and cutting the TV off to clear the background noise. I was all ears.

"I received Z's package." He held up the small parcel. My blood ran cold, and my pulse accelerated. The NeuroNet overlay showed a warning, indicating my heart rate was over 130. I ignored it.

"How? I mean, who gave it to you?" I ask, quivering. Kit placed the package on the coffee table and began to unwrap it. His threat level on my overlay rose to Caution.

"A courier in the park," Kit said. "I handed over our research and received this."

"You gave a total stranger our research?! Are you mad?" My Thought Meter on the NeuroNet rose to 2/5. 

"Relax," Kit retorted. "This could be what we've been searching for."

He was right, of course. Opening the box before us, Kit produced a thumb drive, which wirelessly transmitted contents to our NeuroNets. The garbled voice announced: "Beware: What follows concerns The Vagary."

I instantly paused the feed. My pulse was now over 150. Thought Meter up to 3. "Kit...do you realize what this means...?" He silently and slowly nodded. I opened the heart-shaped locket around my neck and stared wistfully at our family picture, missing our parents so much in this moment. They would be so proud of how far we had come since the war. 

Kit swiveled around to his chair. His Threat Level increased on my NeuroNet. "If this really is 'It'," he muttered, "We have to show everyone." He looked squarely at me. "Jane, people need to see this."

I suddenly realized the corner I had painted myself into these past few months. In searching for information on the Death Thought, I hadn't considered the endgame. Yet, here it was, and the painful choice was becoming clear.

Kit had this theory that the Death Thought was a big hoax, that there was no such thing. The government published daily death tolls of those who experienced the Death Thought, but many media outlets claimed the numbers were overblown, that the deaths were by something else, or that it was a power-hungry cover-up.

"What if you're wrong?" I pleaded. "What if it is real?"

"Listen to yourself!" He cried. "These past few years, since the creation of the Death Thought hoax, has pushed society to the brink. Businesses shutting down, schools closing, all because people are afraid to think. Afraid of a Death Thought that doesn't exist!" He moved to turn on the thumb drive again. "And that's what Z will tell us."

Just as he moved to the switch, he froze and looked at me with the most helpless look I've ever seen. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he began convulsing on the ground. I ran to him as his foaming mouth frothed everywhere, and I could do nothing as he writhed in my arms, reaching at me as if whispering for help. But I could not help. His mind had traversed a point of no return. Soon, he was motionless on the floor; my NeuroNet announced that he had passed.

In an effort to keep me calm, my NeuroNet began airing a government propaganda message concerning the Death Thought.  But I heard only parts in between my weeping and screaming. "...only by advanced computing technology was the presence of such a Death Thought even detected..." How could I have let him dance so close to the fire? It was my fault he died..."...several world governments worked tirelessly on NeuroNet to protect citizens..." I should've convinced him it was real and not overblown, that freedom wasn't everything. "...declared a pandemic and officially named The Vagary..." I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Thought Meter Level 5. My NeuroNet activated a calming brainwave pulse. I was instantly calmed, my thoughts wiped clear. I stood and yawned. "I should put some coffee on," I told myself, stepping over the body of my brother. I walked over to the coffee maker and set it brewing and went upstairs to use the bathroom. I could still faintly hear the voice of the propaganda speaking  into my NeuroNet but the words rang hollow and meaningless...

"...Thought Meter developed to protect others and oneself from dangerous thoughts related to the pandemic. In pandemics of the past, measures such as masks were used for biological viruses...but with a thought virus, harsher measures were needed..."

I finished my business and poured my cup of coffee as I prepared to call the coroner.

NeuroNet: "...And remember to stay mentally distanced."

"Yes," I spoke into my NeuroNet, "I'd like to report a death...from The Vagary..."

---

Moments later, as I finished my cup of coffee, my attention turned to the thumb drive of Z. I knew what this thumb drive could mean...Kit's and  my research focused on everything we knew the Death Thought couldn't be - and through a process of deduction had narrowed down ideas that it could be. But extreme special care  had to be taken - if we arrived so close at the Truth as to actually find it, like the fabled Icarus, we would meet our own demise. 

I uploaded the compressed contents of the thumb drive into my NeuroNet and pulled out a sheet of paper and a pencil. Z knew the caution required here; he would not simply state the Death Thought. It would be somehow disguised.

Indeed, as I began playing a video of Z - who was blurred out and voice changed - he began giving an encoded message. I quickly jotted down the letters in the code, to which he said if I could solve, would tell me what I sought. I turned the video off and quickly began decoding the message in a very strategic way, dancing around, not in order, to avoid my mind assembling the message too soon.

My pulse rate quickened - this was it! The culmination of years of research. Thought Meter 3. We could at last make a stand. Thought Meter 4.

Here was an E. There was a G. I voraciously scribbled letters of the code down as the message slowly came into focus. The secret the government had forbidden us to even ponder for all these years would soon be mine...

The government had declared the Thought Pandemic a global health crisis and used it to seize control. The NeuroNets were installed as a protection measure several years ago, to protect the public, supposedly. Kit believed the entire Death Thought was a hoax, but facts had just proven him wrong, I thought, looking at his dead body. Of course, it could've started out as a hoax, but with the installation of the NeuroNets, the government could've seen a golden opportunity...

Here was an F. And several N's. The message was probably solvable already just by inspection, but I had to resist the temptation to read it as a complete message, lest death befall me. Almost there! The final clue that could liberate -- Thought Meter 5. Then the thought occurred to me: How could Z know the Death Thought without dying himself...? How did Z find this information...? What was Z not telling us...?

Instantly, my mind went blank, the NeuroNet activating. I noticed before me that the pencil had been snapped in half and the paper shredded into many tiny pieces. A small animated policeman bounced onto the corner of my visual overlay: "Your thoughts have become overly dangerous. Please remain calm. Authorities are on their way."

I stood, humming the new national anthem, and walked over my brother's body again to go pour another cup of coffee. I sat in the recliner sipping it as the door to the apartment opened and several uniformed officers entered.

"The body is upstairs," I replied, taking a large, burning sip of sweetened black coffee. Thought Level 1. 

"Thank you, ma'am," answered one of the officers, as he fastened handcuffs to my hands and sat my coffee cup down. 

As the officer escorted me out of the apartment, my brother's body behind me, my locket fell off its chain to the ground below, and my NeuroNet activated with another message: "We thank you in your cooperation with this extreme situation. With the Thought Pandemic raging, you have been identified as a 'close contact' individual. You will be placed in a safe government quarantine facility for a period of time until it is safe for you to re-enter society. Even as you make this transition from normal life, we encourage you, as always, to remain mentally distanced..."