The Unforeseen Withdrawal
Dollars Ex-Machina
In the unforgiving heat of noon, Marcus and Stella contemplated the imposing structure of SunTrust Bank. The bank so impenetrable its vault opened right there, on the banking floor. A charming misdirection; there was another vault door beyond it.
Marcus strolled into the bank, won smiles and trust, while in a nearby café, Stella, the tech prodigy, circumvented the bank's security protocols and provided Marcus with the digital bonafides that would allow him through the first door as a security consultant.
While Marcus strode into the vault, Stella infiltrated the bank's network, disabling alarms, closing the outer door and accessing the second door sub-routines.
The inner vault’s door opened. The inner vault was empty. More misdirection. The bank was a sham.
In the café, Stella's screen flashed an incoming transfer, four times their expected haul. With it, an anonymous message: “They moved the money. I helped you steal it. I'm your fan.”
She stared at the message, shocked, then grinned. They had an ally, a ghost in the machine.
Crestfallen, Marcus slumped in defeat. Stella slid into the driver’s seat, and showed him the laptop screen. They roared off into the heat, the wind singing songs of an impossible heist.
About the Creator
Ian Vince
Erstwhile non-fiction author, ghost & freelance writer for others, finally submitting work that floats my own boat, does my own thing. I'll deal with it if you can.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
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Arguments were carefully researched and presented
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The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Comments (11)
I love this one. You wove a great tale of intrigue with an efficiency of words. Well done!
Amazing heist! Congratulations!
Whoaaa, I did not see that coming! That was fantastic! Loved your story! I've subscribed too!
You managed to get a huge amount of information into these 200 words! Well done!
Wow! Thank you Kim, Alhassan, Dana, A., K.C., and Clyde so much for the amazing comments! I'm very early on in a journey towards fiction and it's heartening to see I got one right.
Fun and suspenseful! Great job with the challenge!!
nice one
That's a very nice twist. Well done and Congratulations on Top Story!
I love your language in this! The heist itself seemed to be written with the rhythm of a dance, and then your last sentence was so victorious and filled with intrigue. Well done!
nicely done - i like the AI component would you read something I wrote also on AI? appreciate any feedback! https://vocal.media/fiction/my-ai-alibi
Very awesome bank heist story!