The Three Bears wallow in a dreadlock holiday.

Father bear boomed, "who's been eating my porridge!?!"

Mother bear exclaimed, "and someone has been eating my porridge!"

Baby bear complained, "someone ate 'all' my porridge! Cor they even licked the bowl?"

Again Father bear boomed, "who's been sitting in my chair!?!"

Again Mother bear asked, "someone has been sitting in my chair?"

Baby bear moaned, "someone has been sitting in my chair...and wrecked it!"

Father bear growled, "who has been laying in my bed?"

Mother bear noticed, "someone has been laying in my bed!"

Baby bear replied, "someone is still laying in my bed."

Father bear asked, "who?"

"Dunno? This girl with golden dreadlocks." Baby bear replied.

"Father bear stand over there and don't let her jump out the window!" Mother bear warned him.

"Who are you?" Mother bear inquired to the young girl yawning and stretching half asleep in baby bears bed.

"Folks around here call me Goldilocks, on account that I can crack any lock in town "

"What made you decide to crack the lock to our home?" Father bear growled.

"I had the munchies while hiding from the cops." Goldilocks replied. Then added, "That large bowl of porridge was that salty it was like eating sea water. That second bowl had so much sugar in it that it might as well have been porridge flavoured toffee! So I had to gulp down everything in the third bowl just to kill the taste of the first two bowls."

"You mentioned that you were hiding from the police? What do you mean?" Mother bear asked.

"I was walking down the street, concentrating on ducking lights I heard a cop car beside of me and I looked round in a state of fright. I saw four faces one mad, he'd fallen in the gutter. They looked me up and down and then they turned to each other."

"Oh, oh, no," the three bears replied.

"You wanna ticket? Oh no! You gotta prove it huh? I don't like tickets no, so I gapped it, yeah. They said, if you walk through my world you better show some respect. If you don't take our word it will be a mistake."

Baby bear looked down at her silver chain he said, "you owe me one sofa."

She said, "you've got to be joking man? This was a present from me mother."

He said, "I doubt it, you stole it, I'll take it off your hands and you'll be sorry you crossed me. You better understand that you're alone and a long way from home."

She said, "you look a bit saggy yeah! I know, you won't like it, no. Your necks too baggy yeah, you'll hide it though."

"Don't you cramp me style, don't speak like a bitch. Don't you walk through my words cause you ain't heard me out yet."

"Let's hurry down to the swimming pool. I'll get us pina colada."

She heard the father bear say, "we would like something harder."

She said, "I've got it, you want it. My harvest is the best and if you try it, you'll like it and wallow in a dreadlock holiday."

Mother bear sang, "l'll get my make up! Yeah! I love it! Ta!"

Father bear added, "I'll pack some brisket, oh yeah! We love it, ah!"

Baby bear scolded them, "don't you walk through her words you got to show some respect. Don't you walk through her words 'cause we ain't let her out yet."

Soon they hurried to the swimming pool, and started drinking pina colada. Until a voice beside them said, "would you like to buy some ghanga?"

So Goldilocks said, "I got it, forget it. But we'll take it off your hands if it's a worry."

Father bear said, "Now we gotta find a bong, and we're a long way from home."

Goldilocks said, "I've got some papers yeah! Oh lord, I love it ah! Oh yeah."

And they all lived happily ever after.