The Sad Fob

Oh Lordy, here she goes again. I’m a fob for the gym that has been missing for months. Today she’s frantically searching random spots where she may have put it down. She vaguely remembers that she put me in a safe place. But she’s already looked in all the “safe places” stuffed with junk she might need someday.

No! Don’t do it!!! Do NOT turn that junk drawer upside down! Well, I guess we’re not going to the gym again today!

She’s started little piles of things. After careful inspection of each crumpled coupon, the outdated ones are put in the discard pile. The others are smoothed out. Oh god no, she has an idea! 🙄Opening up another drawer, she searches for a plastic baggy to store the coupons in. Properly sorted she looks for someplace to put them.

Oh bloody hell, she’s going to put them in the huge backpack she uses as a purse. No, don’t frown like that, just toss them in and let’s get on with it.

Too late, the contents of her “purse” are now dumped on the bed. Well so much for the gym today or anytime soon, but at least she’s closer to where she put me! I wish I could scream or better yet bite her! Other piles form, lots of crumpled tissues, several lip balms, hair ties, candies from random restaurants, receipts…

Please ignore the receipts. And she’s off to attempt to file them. After diligently staying on task for a few minutes, she remembers that she was looking for her fob. She stuffs the remaining receipts into a file marked, “Stuff to Deal With.” Yup, it’s pretty full.

Back to the dumped backpack on the bed. She puts the necessary items back in, wallet, one lip balm, tube of moisturizer, fresh tissues from the box on the nightstand. The tissue box is now empty!

Off she goes again to get a box out of the storage cupboard. While there, she double checks the key hooks to make sure I’m not hanging there. She notices the cat food is low and calls the vet to order more. That was surprisingly proactive! Usually she waits until 11:15 on a Saturday when the vet is only open until noon and it’s 30 min drive.

That done, she noticed the time display on her phone, 4:00 pm? She panics realizing she hasn’t gotten her walk in and hasn’t a clue what to make for dinner.

She’s in hyper focus mode now. In the bedroom she stuffs everything still in the pile on the bed into a box and I watch as she finds a spot in the closet for it. Soooo close to where I am! But she leaves.

She stuffs a bunch of folding bags from the storage closet into her backpack and grabs her coat. Before leaving she throws everything on the counter back into the junk drawer, promising to sort it tomorrow. 🙄

I may be still lost but I know her well, we’re connected. I melded with her Fitbit so I can track her. Although the store is the mission, the beach calls. Just a quick walk, a few iPhone photos, she thinks she won’t get distracted. The sunset is beautiful, lovely colours, shades of red, orange and peach, like a fruit salad.

Salad!!! 😳 Dinner! groceries! No time to get essentials, the rotisserie chicken dinner it is.

On the walk home she ponders where her gym fob key could be. She thinks about the last time she used me. Ah, swimming on the last day the pool was open, maybe it’s in the pocket of her big terry robe! Ding, ding, ding! I will be found, maybe, eventually?

Dinner done, dishwasher emptied and then filled, time to find ME!

Wait, no don’t sit down, put that phone down, no word games! You’re going to forget where I am. Again! Do you really hate the gym that much?

But wait, something jogged her memory! Mary walks into the bedroom and reaches into the robe pocket. A cold hand embraces me. (She really needs to improve her circulation.) I am found!

Oh, she’s headed to the kitchen. No, not the junk drawer! Whew. She opens the storage cupboard and hangs me on a plastic sticky hook. The door slams shut. The hook and I slide down behind the tissue boxes and paper towels. At least we’re together again.

It will be a while before we get to the gym! 😢