The ridiculous dream

Yeah, yeah, it turns out I taught them all wrong! How it happened -- I don't understand, but I remember it vividly. Dreams travel through thousands of years, leaving only the overall feeling in my heart. All I know is I'm the reason they're down. Like an abominable caterpillar, like the plague bacterium that infects many nations, I have defiled this pleasant land that was free of sin before I came. They learned to lie, fell in love with hypocrisy, and tasted the benefits of lying. Well, at first they may have wanted it only to be playful, to show off, to be funny; they may have been tempted, but it went down to the bottom of their hearts, and it was just what they wanted. Then comes lust, lust breeds jealousy, envy breeds brutality... Well, I don't understand, I don't remember, but soon there was the first blood: surprise, fear, they began to diverge, and then they went their separate ways. Factions emerged, and they were hostile to each other, reviling and accusing each other. They have tasted humiliation and see it as a virtue. With the idea of honor, the factions set up their own banners. They began to mistreat animals, which fled from them into the forest and became their enemies. In order to pull the top of the mountain, set up the door, fighting for fame and profit, each other. They were at loggerheads and regarded each other as enemies. They tasted disaster, and they loved it. They long for suffering, saying that only through suffering can they win the truth. At this time, they invented learning. When they are full of evil, they talk of brotherhood and humanity, and they know what those words mean. When they have committed many crimes, they think of justice, and make a set of laws to uphold justice, and for the execution of the code set up the guillotine. Their memory of the past is so dim that they do not even want to believe that they were once pure and happy, and they laugh at whether they were happy or not, saying that it is only a dream. They cannot even imagine happiness, and the strange thing is that they do not believe that happiness ever existed, that it is a myth. They long to be pure and happy again. They cling to their wishes like children, worship them, build temples and pray for their ideals and hopes, knowing that good dreams are hard to realize and hopes cannot be realized, but they worship them with tears and deities. But if they could go back to the blameless place they had lost, if it were suddenly shown to them again, and asked if they would return, they would refuse. They answered: "Even if we are false, wicked, and wicked, we know this, and weep, and grieve, and torment, and punish ourselves for it, perhaps more than the kind judge whose name we do not yet know will judge us. But we have learning, learning will make us find the truth again, we will consciously accept the truth, knowing more than feeling, understanding of life more than life itself. Learning will give us wisdom, wisdom will find the law, and to know the law of happiness is more than happiness." That's what they said, and then they were more self-absorbed, and besides, they couldn't have it any other way. Everyone is obsessed with selfish interests, to harm and reduce the interests of others, think that survival is so. Hence slavery, even voluntary slavery: the submission of the weak to the strong, so that the strong can help them to oppress the weaker. There was a man of wisdom. The sage remonstrated with tears, saying that they were arrogant, unscrupulous, disharmonious, and unscrupulous. The wise men were mocked and beaten, and their blood was spilt upon the doors of the temple. Others, however, began to think of how they might unite them all again, so that each would look after himself as he did, and at the same time not interfere with the others, so that they might as well live in a friendly society. For this ideal, war after war broke out. All even combatants are firmly believe that at this moment, knowledge, wisdom and consciousness of self preservation, will eventually make people join a harmonious coexistence, a rational society, and now in order to accelerate the process of enterprise, "wise men" in the "fool" and as soon as possible to eliminate all don't understand their ideal, so as not to hinder the realization of the ideal. But the sense of self-preservation began to wane rapidly, and there emerged the arrogant and the greedy, who openly demanded to have everything or to abandon everything. In order to possess everything, they do evil, and if that fails -- they commit suicide. Religions have sprung up to worship nonexistence and self-destruction, in the hope of finding eternal rest in nonexistence. These men are worn out and bitter in their futility, and they claim that suffering is a pleasure, because in suffering there is thought. They composed songs in praise of suffering. I go among them with grief and pity, but perhaps I love them more than I did before, when there was no pain in their faces and they were pure and beautiful. This land of theirs was a paradise, and now it is defiled by them, and I love it all the more for its calamity. Alas, I have always loved disaster and suffering, but only for myself, and for them I weep with pity. I prayed for their forgiveness. I blamed myself, cursed myself, and despised myself. I told them I had done it all, and I had done it alone; It was I who had brought them the immoral, the immoral, the deceitful, I besought them to crucify me, I taught them to make the cross. I could not, could not, kill myself, but I was willing to accept their torture, I longed for pain, I longed to shed my last drop of blood in pain. But they only laughed at me, and finally thought me mad. They didn't think I was guilty. They said they would only accept what they wanted, and the whole status quo could not be changed. Finally, they announced to me that I was a danger to them, and that if I did not keep my mouth shut, I would be put in an insane asylum. I felt like I was going to die, and then... That's when I woke up.

It was now morning, that is, not yet dawn, but about five o 'clock. I awoke in my easy chair; the candle was burned out; all the people in the captain's room were asleep; there was a stillness about me, which is seldom the case in our house. First of all, I jumped to my feet in a strange surprise; Nothing like this had ever happened to me before, not even in a trivial way: I had never, for example, fallen asleep like this in my easy chair. All of a sudden,

As I stood and slowly came to myself, the pistol, loaded and ready, jumped at my eyes, but I pushed it away! Oh, I will live now, I will live! I lift up my hands and call for the eternal truth; Not to cry, but to weep; I was filled with fever, with unmatched fever. Yes, live, and preach! Now I am determined to preach, and always will! I'm going to preach, to preach -- what? Spread the truth, because I have seen the truth, I have seen the truth in all its splendor!

And so I have been preaching ever since! And -- I love all who laugh at me, more than any other man. Why this is so -- I don't understand, I can't explain it, but let it be. They say I'm confused, that is, if I'm so confused now, what can I do in the future? It was true: I was confused, and it might get worse. No doubt, when I try to figure out how to preach, that is, what to say and what to do, I must make many mistakes, for preaching is difficult to do well. Look, I've got it all figured out now, but listen to me: there's no one who doesn't make mistakes! But you know, from sages to bandits, everyone is at least heading in the same direction, towards the same goal, but in different ways. It is an old truth, but there is something new here: I cannot be completely confused, for I have seen the truth, and I have seen and know that man can become beautiful and happy, and that he cannot lose the power of life. I do not or will not believe that evil is a normal human condition. You know, it is this belief of mine that they all laugh at. But how can I fail to believe that I have seen the truth -- that it is not a figment of my mind, but that it is what I have seen, what I have seen, and that its vivid image fills my heart forever. The truth I see is so perfect that it is impossible for me to believe that man is without truth. Anyway, how could I be confused? Of course, there will be deviations, perhaps even many times, and perhaps some strange words, but it will not last long, for the living image I have seen will always be with me, and will always correct and guide me. Oh, my spirits are up, my spirits are up, go on, go on, if it were a thousand years. You see, I've done them all wrong, and at first I even tried to hide it, but it was wrong -- my first mistake! But the truth whispers to me that I am lying, yet it guards me and guides me. But how heaven is built -- I do not know, for I am not good at words. When I woke up, I forgot a lot, at least some of the main, important words. But even so, I will talk, and I will talk, because after all, I saw it with my own eyes, even if I am not good at describing it. But the people who laugh at me don't understand this. They say, "You see dreams, hallucinations, visions." Hey! Is this some kind of brilliant idea? How smug they were! The dream? What is a dream? Isn't our whole life just a dream? I will say it again: even if it never comes, even if there is no heaven (which I already know!) But I'm going to preach. In fact, it is very simple: in one day, one little hour, everything will be accomplished in one move! All that matters is that you love others as yourself. That's the point. That's all there is. In fact, it is only an old truth, repeated and recited I do not know how many times, but it has not survived! The saying that "the knowledge of life is more important than life itself, the knowledge of the law of happiness is more important than happiness" - must be fought against! I will join the struggle. As long as you have this wish, then will be successful!

I must find that little girl... I'm on my way! Go to!