The Ride

“Umm, excuse me? Sir? Where is this train going?”, I said with a shaky voice. The man just smirked at me and turned away. “What a weirdo”, I thought to myself. I really thought he looked familiar. Most people on this train do, actually, yet I have no idea where we are headed. Nobody seems to care to speak to me either. Not a single person has bothered to answer any of my questions. Now, I’m starting to wonder if I am even visible to these other passengers. Am I even alive?

I am questioning everything. Maybe I’m a ghost. After all, I have absolutely no recollection of buying a ticket for a train. “That’s it! The ticket!”, I exclaimed as I frantically felt all over my body looking for one. Nothing. I sprinted back to the seat that I found myself waking up in earlier this morning. I looked all over that section of the train; to no avail. Then it hit me that I could just look at another passenger’s ticket to get my answers. I walked up and down the aisles of the whole train. Not one ticket in sight. “How does a train not require any tickets?”, I thought to myself.

Clearly, this wasn’t a normal trip downtown on the R7 like I had been used to my whole life. In fact, the scenery is completely different than what I was used to. I could barely make it out since the train seemed to be speeding up rather quickly. I swear sometimes I would catch glimpses of family member’s faces, but it is almost as if I am stuck in this fog. Other times, it would seem as if I was flashing back to a party I went to. I wasn’t really sure what was happening, but I knew it wasn’t normal.

“Maybe it is all just some sort of nightmare that I can’t seem to wake up from. I’ll just jump off at the next stop and maybe I’ll wake up.”, I said to the guy walking by. He didn’t even bat an eye. I honestly didn’t expect him to. I also didn’t expect this train to never stop. Now that I am thinking about it, it hasn’t stopped once all day. The train keeps accelerating!

I feel so sick at this point. I am dizzy and I can’t seem to collect my thoughts. It would seem like it’s time to rest. My anxiety has gotten the best of me I believe. You can’t blame me though. This isn’t the type of trip anyone would willing go on. I don’t care how fond of train trips you are, nobody would ever want to continue this journey if they found themselves on it; like me.

When I had a chance to rest, I felt pure relief. That was until I had to get up in search of my answers again. It was this vicious repetitive cycle that didn’t seem to come to an end. I just wanted off this train, yet every time I seemed close to an escape, I’d need to get sick. None of this made any sense to me at all. I just kept thinking to myself, “Why is this happening to me? Who put me here? This has got to be some sort of joke.”.

It was no joke, however. It was happening and there seemed to be no end in sight. It kind of reminded me of the movie Groundhog Day. The day would just repeat over and over. Life as I knew it was no longer even imaginable at this point. This was now my life. Over and over again the cycle kept repeating. I was aging as this was occurring. So much so, I almost didn’t recognize myself in the mirror.

Then it happened, almost instantaneously. As if we slammed full speed into a brick wall, I felt the hit. I felt the impact completely and it knocked the life right from my body. Leaving me gasping for air. We must have finally hit an uncontrollable speed and this was it. The ride came to a crashing halt.

I remember hearing a slight beeping noise in the distance. I was in a hospital. Tubes were all over my body, but I was there. I made it. By the grace of some higher power, I made it off that train ride. The first nurse I made eye contact with had a lot of the tubes removed once she stopped freaking out about the fact that I had finally woken up. Apparently, it had been some time. The ride alone took me many, many years.

When I mentioned the train ride to my mother, she laughed at my silliness. She told me that I had never been on any train and had been living my life the whole time I swore I took this trip. I was completely taken back. I know I was on this ride because I barely remember all the events that she had sworn that I had attended.

The doctor sent me for a psychological evaluation. I am so glad they did. It turns out, I was, indeed, on a train ride. The ride wasn’t actually a train trip, though; the ride was addiction. If you have ever taken this ride and somehow made it out, congratulations. Not many people do. This train ride was something nobody could have ever planned for and I hope they never have to experience. It’s been about a decade since I took that ride. I have a wonderful son and daughter and have no intention of ever landing on the train again. I can only hope that someone finds a way to stop this train for good.