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The retired Hitman

His memory is not what it used to be, or is it? (Rick's Unreliable Narrator horror challenge.

By Novel AllenPublished 4 months ago β€’ 3 min read

Phlebutton had just celebrated his 84th birthday. His brain was just as clear as when he had been twenty and one, or so he told himself. They had assigned him all of the juiciest targets when he was the Hitman, mostly politicians who were either crooked, or wanted to do the right thing.

Phlebutton never really cared, especially when the Army retired him and he went private. The pay had been great, he now lived a life of luxury, dressed in the best suits and was just enjoying a rich lifestyle. He vividly remembered all of his victims. Heck, they all had been such cry babies, begging for their lives, at least the ones who saw him coming. The ones who he shot from his sniper positions never knew what hit them. The Army had trained him well. He had been the best shot in his entire regiment, everyone told him so.

"Hey, old man, what you dreaming about now, hurry up and mop the floor, the kids will be here shortly when school starts".

Phlebutton shook his head, looked down the long corridor of the middle school passageway. How the heck did he get here anyway. Wasn't he not just walking down the street dressed in his nice suit. Why was he wearing old worn out clothes with a ragged apron tied around his neck, why did he have a mop and push bucket. Was he dreaming again. Oh yes, he needed to hurry up and mop the floor, the children, oh yes. He resumed his mopping.

"Mr. Phlebutton sir, can you sign these documents please, they need to start the building of the new condos and shopping center, your consent is needed to release the funds". Ah yes, he was the CEO of the very large, very successful banking organization. Nothing got done without his say-so. I sure have come a long way since the projects he mused, smiling proudly at his success.

"Watch out Phleeby", the kids yelled as they poured into the corridor like busy rats running to get some cheese.

He had finished the mopping and hurried to get out of the way of the kids, he loved to watch them happily playing and they had a kind of respect for him, they got along well, they always brought him little gifts from their parents.

"Phlebutton, wake up, pay attention". He felt the splash of water on his face as the interrogator doused him with yet another pail of water.

"Tell us where you buried the two bodies, they may still be alive since you say you buried them alive, we may still be able to save them".

Phlebutton glanced into the two may mirror separating the room, knew that they watched him from beyond where he could not see. He saw his young fortyish year old face staring back at him.

That was over forty years ago. He never told them, Miriam, her beau and her traitorous soul were under concrete in the basement, an old faded rug covered her sins.

Yes, his mind still worked just fine, he had killed a lot of people, for the army, as well as when a gun for hire. He just wished that it was not so god-damned clear, that he could forget the jail cell and the ghosts which slept there and haunted his every sleeping and waking moments.

Phlebutton's eyes flew open, he'd been dreaming. He blinked, looked around the cell, it was dark, someone or something was standing over him.


Finally, his nightmare was over. For better or worse, death had finally arrived.



About the Creator

Novel Allen

Every new day is a blank slate. Write something new.

Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (15)

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  • Rick Henry Christopher 3 months ago

    Congratulations Novel. You did a great job with this story!!!

  • Grz Colm3 months ago

    Yo! Congrats on second place Novel!, πŸ₯³πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

  • Congratulations, Novel! Well done.

  • Rachel Deeming3 months ago

    Who is this man and who does he think he is? A very unreliable character indeed.

  • Great job, Novel! It took a couple of reads to be able to keep track of the different positions the narrator was in, and I liked that it made me think more.

  • Tiffany Gordon 4 months ago

    Gurl! You snapped on this in a good way! This is superb! Go No Go!

  • Grz Colm4 months ago

    I’m honestly not sure if he was really being interrogated at the end or if it’s really just another dream! Lots of intriguing strands here! Well done!

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Oh my, this was horrific!!! Well done, Novel!!!

  • Whoaaaa! Now THIS is a perfectly executed unreliable narrator! Hitman, Janitor, Army, Killer, Prisoner. So like which even is the truth. Lol. I loveeeeeeeeee these kinda stories!

  • The remembering of dreams, within dreams, that sweet release from..., what was I saying? Nicely done, Novel.

  • Novel, your masterful weaving between life strands ... or nightmares ... made me ready for more. Bravo! πŸ’™πŸ‘πŸ’™

  • This is β€œPLURKING” awesome! Great story, Novel! It is mind-bending, but it left me wanting more.

  • Hannah Moore4 months ago

    To be fair, I have, NO IDEA what to trust in this tale!

  • Alisa Δ°nnokate4 months ago

    Your story skillfully intertwines his memories, dreams, and reality, creating a thought-provoking narrative that blurs the lines between his various experiences. It keeps readers engaged by exploring the contrast between Phlebutton's past and his present and leaves them wondering about the unresolved mysteries of his dark history.

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