The Reset Glitch

“Alice?”

The broker? This can’t be good, he knows not to tap into my comms when I’m on the job and there was only one thing I’ve specified as urgent.

“I’m already inside and approaching targets. Speak quickly.”

“A 'Minho' called for you. Said Peter’s system relapsed.”

Hanging up, I cursed at myself for turning off my main comms channel for this job. I need to find him, NOW. My system mapped out the fastest way to Peter’s location and luckily the fastest exit was through the front door. Cocking my gun I charged in and took out the targets, haphazardly throwing down the message the client wanted to leave on one of the bodies, before bolting. These were the times I was thankful for being a cyborg, most days I hate the fact, especially what that change has done to the people I love.

A “glitch” they called it. It was more like a virus if you ask me. Affecting our cores and disrupted our memory processors, forcing a system relapse at random. Five of ten were found to be glitched in the lab during assimilation training. The company couldn’t afford the risk so they were going to scrap us all but before they could, we escaped. From then on we relied on each other to survive and we properly learned what that system relapse meant. To those who were infected, their memories are reset to when they first became cyborgs but sometimes rather than their memories their emotions reset instead and those moments are the most dangerous. Humans dislike things that are different, it is a fact that cyborgs are taught to understand and accept from the get go but the reset meant that training didn’t exist anymore. The anger fueled by the ostracization from society and the strength from our biotic parts made us a threat that humans wouldn’t hesitate to kill because we were nothing more than machines to them. That was a lesson we learned when the first glitched. From then on those of us who weren’t glitched became handlers of those who were, aside from Minho who had taken on the responsibility to cover our tracks. Chris with Felix, Sky with Sam, Lewis to Bentley, and me to Peter.

As my legs carried me through the slums, my system scanned the surrounding areas' police scanners praying Peter wasn’t on them and luckily the coast was clear; he seemed sedentary in his current position. Not knowing how long that would last or how bad the relapse was this time, I continued to push my human parts past its limits. Red warning lights flashed across my vision at my depleting oxygen levels but I was almost to him so I couldn’t slow down. Upon arriving at the outskirts my body gasped for breath but my eyes frantically searched for the boy in question. After a moment my eyes landed on his figure, stood still amongst the rubble of whatever city stood here before the war, but it was too quiet for the Peter I knew so well. I treaded carefully, not wanting to be too loud or move too quick and spook him.

“Peter…”

“That was a lot faster than I predicted Alice.”

He turned to look at me with a smile but it was hollow. Okay, he remembers so worst case scenario. Of the four, Peter is the one who's most often had an emotional reset, unable to be blessed with forgetting everything. To have to remember everything yet still feel as scared as a newborn chick… The weakness seeped into his voice as he asked the question he asked every time he reset and I sadly gave him the same answer I always give.

“Why do I have to be like this?”

“I don’t know Peter,” I softly answered.

We stood in silence, letting the dusk color the landscape and this pile of rubble beneath our feet. I wasn't sure what was going through his head, but with the amount of times we've had this conversation I could come up with a few. When he spoke again, it just had to be one of the questions I hated answering because I couldn't be completely honest.

“Do you ever regret saving me?”

“Never.”

“Even after all the times you’ve had to replace your parts… and when you end up in the hospi-”

“Not even once,” I cut him off.

Because I love you… the words sat on the tip of my tongue and once again I had to bite them back. Things wouldn’t have ended well if they did escape me, and that was the one and only time I was thankful for the glitch. His heart is too big, he doesn’t dare accept love when he has deemed himself as “broken.” If only he understood the importance he holds in my life but instead he just feels guilt. It’s in his eyes, lurking there even after the relapse has long passed. I’ve told him countless times that I am willingly by his side, a desperate attempt at getting him to understand that being “broken” doesn’t mean he had to be alone. It falls on deaf ears though because how can he believe in himself when he has no control over it? That’s the part he hates the most and there is nothing I can do other than let the weight of my words sink in, hoping one day he’ll see there’s more to him than the glitch like I do. I silently looked over the ruins, allowing Peter's mind to make his choice on what we'll do next.

“Why can’t this be fixed like all our other mechanical problems?”

“It’s too close to the core, it would cause permanent damage to your humanity.”

“Humanity?” He scoffs, “Why do I even need that when I’m no longer considered a human?”

“Because that’s a part of you that makes you the person you are.”

And no matter how much you hate it right now, you would never want to give it up. I promised you on that clear starry night I wouldn’t let you destroy the only thing you love about yourself, but it’s the anger and fear talking right now. The emotions are building up out of his control and soon they’ll start to spill out.

“The glitch too?”

“Peter you know the glitch isn’t who you are, it’s a fluke.”

“Then why does it have to be me that has that fluke?! It hurts Alice. It hurts to feel so angry at the world and feel so scared to be different… but why is it that I keep remembering? Why can’t I just forget like the others?! I hate this constant war in my head and I hate having to feel this over and over again.”

In these situations I couldn’t say anything, I never could. By then I had inched my way beside the boy but although I wanted to grab his hand, my own along with my head started to twitch out of my control. I’ve overheated my systems getting here and now that my human parts have stabilized now the mechanical ones needed to. He cast a sideways glance and noticed, a dry chuckle falling from his lips in response. His next words were said nonchalantly but I didn’t miss the unmistakable tremble in his voice.

"We're already screwed up. Why can't we at least have fun?"

As he turned to fully look at me now, his smile grew and his robotic eye glowed a faint blue as tears streamed down his face. A sleek mix of oil and water that although beautiful, my non-robotic hand reached over to wipe them away. I didn’t know the pain of glitching but my heart breaks every time I see that empty look in his eyes. The look of him just... giving up. I wish there existed a God or some higher being who could answer this desperate prayer, please just take the glitch from Peter and give it to me. But alas there are no miracles so what’s the point? We will continue to live as we have, repeating the cycle of pain and heartbreak in this ill-fated relationship. Fun… I knew what that meant but I also knew better that to stop him. Once his mind is set he’ll do it, with or without me and I definitely won't leave him alone. A sad smile that mirrored his own pulled across my lips.

“Sure… let’s have some fun.”

I knew where this would lead us, it happens every time he remembers. Peter was about to go on a quest to destroy himself and I’m going to stop him, whatever the cost, because love makes people do stupid things. Too bad love can’t fix everything like in the fairytales, maybe then we could’ve been happier.