The Power of Painting in Year 3,000 Part 4

Italia brought us to the heart of Sweetie Pie village after telling us a story of a time in her youth, where she cleaned the negative energy away and drained the power from a dog-shaped dark spirit by lighting sage in the household where the spirit made its habitat.

I asked, “By the way, why do you call it Sweetie Pie Village and where exactly are we located?”

Italia responds sweetly, “Well I named this village after the nickname I give to my beloved grandson, Augusto. Ever since this planet took a dip in complete chaos, we all decided to get creative and rename the lands. In the context of where we’re located from the continents you remember, you would call this Australia. Outside of the Barn we renamed that location with a cute name, ‘Foggy Forest’. More importantly, I renamed Australia to ‘Mucho Gusto!’ I love my grandson so much that the only place I would ever choose to live in would have to be named after him. Well enough about that, let me introduce you to the rest of the village.”

Before me was a mix of humans and other beings. It looks like everybody gets along here.. Except for one snarky looking fellow who was wearing the American flag as a cape and a piece of it as a bandana.

The chubby, annoying little creature stated in a repulsive manner, “If you ask me, we would never have to rely on this chummy bum of a painter in the first place if we had just continued developing a wall.”

Gee; how wonderful, I thought.

Everyone in the group rolled their eyes and told the Trumpet to shut their mouth.

Ako stepped in, “Now Maxx. The reason why the world is in the state it is right now is because we, the people have been divided. We must collaborate and focus on togetherness, if we want to survive. Patrick, meet Maxx. He is the leader of the Trumpets. We’re all working with a common goal right now, putting our ideals aside in order to eliminate the Cona Vights.”

Maxx chimes in with a snarky response, “Well if Trump was still President…”

All of a sudden a large white dog with brown spots pounces on Maxx and barks out a loud, “WOOF!”

“Oh- hoho… It seems that Ranger is getting tired of your chatter; you feeble-minded, flabby being,” remarked a 2-dimensional looking creature?

“Wowwww, do you happen to be a rob-,” right before I finished that sentence I was interrupted by loud, obnoxious barks.

“Down boy, it’s okay Ranger,” Ako said.

“It’s a good thing, that this dog of ours interrupted before you finished that racist sentence. Although… That is to be understood, I mean you do have quite the prehistoric mind. Well for your lack of information, my name is Nina 9003.14159265359, but you can call me by my nicknames 3.14 or Pi. I am a proud Cogbit and I will show no remorse when it comes to racist name calling,” 3.14 said.

What an interesting character I’m looking at, I thought. She looks like a cartoon! Her mouth is made out of what looks like the coding of the matrix. She’s all mechanical, yet flat. No part of her seemed to be 3-dimensional, her entire being was 2-D yet animated.

3.14 speaks up after reading my blank look, “Mm-hmm my calculations are telling me that you're hypothesizing that I come from a parallel universe. Fear not, simpleton. Us cogbits can choose to be 2-dimensional or 3-dimensional: it's all a matter of preference. Every mechanical part that I choose to absorb becomes 2-D and I’m infatuated with the 2nd dimension because computation happens more quickly in that realm.

Processing information becomes more direct and has quick impact when you're not dealing with extra curves and edges.”

Woooaaahhh, ladies and gentlemen we have a brainiac over here. I hope my sanity can tolerate all of this.

I asked, “So that means there are some Cogbits that choose to be 3D?”

“Yes but only the dumb ones. They choose to be slow, I’ve got no time for that. Speaking of time, my calculations are telling me that we’re running low on some and unfortunately our agricultural expert isn’t available right now. I can show you our battling champion though, he’s currently in the middle of one but he’s good at multitasking. His name is CJ and he’s the fastest Ancient or what you would call ‘a tree’,” 3.14 informatively said.

“Okay sounds good to me,” I replied.

We went back up through the secret entrance and out of the barn; making way towards the coast of the Tasman Sea, otherwise known as “Honeybun Waters”.

Meanwhile; Far, far away in Washington D.C…

Figure 4 barks, “Brothers it has been far too long since we’ve had some fun and I’m getting tired of sitting around in this court!!”

Figure 3 pays no attention and stays quiet.

Figure 2 remarks disgruntledly, “Oh boo-hoo! You’re always bored! We’ve absorbed and learned so much, why don’t you pick up a craft?!?”

Figure 4 hisses with rebuttal, “Because everything I touch dies, you nincompoop!”

Figure 1 speaks up and proclaims, “Now now. Brother and sister, there’s no need to fight like mere humans. Perhaps you need to go sight-seeing. I don’t believe that it’s time to start hunting rats, they need more time to repopulate…”

Figure 4 responds with exasperation, “Bah!! Why do we need to listen to you?!? I shouldn’t have to ask you about doing what I want! We were all birthed practically at the same time, just a couple of milliseconds of difference…”

Figure 1 answered with a chilling response, “Such petulance, Corvak. There’s a reason why I’M the eldest brother.”

Figure 1 suddenly grows colossal, shaking the Earth around them.

The court starts trembling as he roars, “REMEMBER WHAT JUST A FEW MILLISECONDS DID; BECAUSE I BEING BORN FIRST DISTRIBUTED MORE POWER INTO ME, THAN ALL OF YOU PUT TOGETHER!!! SO WHEN WE CHOOSE TO DO SOMETHING WE MUST MAKE SURE THAT IT COMES FROM MY JUDGEMENT IN THE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS!!”

Corvak (Figure 4) kneels and bows, “Yes eldest brother I’m sorry. I just can’t help but notice how quiet it’s gotten…”

Figure 1 shrinks back to the size of a human and readjusts the tone in his voice, “Hmm...So you want to investigate?”

Corvak replies slowly, “Yes brother. It’s gotten too quiet… I sense a revolt.”

Figure 1 gestures a limb off into the sky and replies, “Okay, have it your way. Go seek, but do so wisely. Make sure to leave some fodder for the rest of us.”

Corvak leaks out a sinister laugh.

“Don’t worry I will make sure that there’s enough vermin to repopulate,” Corvak replies as he begins to split himself into fifths.

One-fifth of Corvak begins to shapeshift and transform into a pterodactyl-like creature. The four other fifths of Corvak hop onto its back. The winged beast screeches and bursts into the sky faster than a jet.

Ad interim; Ako, Italia, Ranger, Maxx, 3.14 and I made it to the coast and off in the distance…

I see a tree manning a tree-battleship? OH. AND BEHIND HIM IS A HUGE FIN WITH SCARS ALL OVER, AM IN THE MOVIE “JAWS”?

I feel a belittling look in the corner of my eyes, 3.14 remarks “No, you ignoramus. We’re not in a movie and remember every being was affected by the spell. That is our champion, CJ. He’s battling The God of The Sea, a shark who’s desire was always to be the biggest predator of all time. This would mark the one---”

A loud, booming yet gallant voice interrupted, “HEEEEEYYYYY POPS!!! HOW’S EVERYBODY DOING? I SEE WE GOT OUR NEW CHAMP ON THE RISE OVER HERE, HOW YOU DOING PAT?”

I was about to speak up but then the Ancient continued, “I’M NOT GOING TO LET MISS NINA OVER THERE STEAL MY LINE! HAHA!”

All of a sudden, 3.14 turned red and frustrated looking clouds came out of her system.

The battleship-shaped Ancient fire’s multiple shots of tree trunks at the fin from tree cannons; then continues where he left off, “I’M SURE SHE TOLD YOU MY NAME ALREADY, AFTER ALL SHE’S MY BIGGEST FAN! THIS MARKS MY 100TH BATTLE WITH THE GOD OF THE SEA. WE NEVER WIN AGAINST EACH OTHER BUT WE ALWAYS SURVIVE. IT IS A MAN’S DESTINY TO BRING IT TO THE BRAWL AND WE CANNOT AVOID THIS FATE. ALTHOUGH, IT'S QUITE IRONIC TECHNICALLY NEITHER US COULD BE CLASSIFIED AS ‘MAN’ BUT I THINK BOTH OF US FEEL IT IN OUR BONES! I’M THE FASTEST ANCIENT BECAUSE MY DESIRE WAS ALWAYS TO GROW THE FASTEST. WHEN THAT DESIRE WAS FULFILLED BY THE SPELL I GREW A NEW ONE, AND THAT'S TO BEAT MY FRIEND OVER HERE!”

A myriad of cannons formed within a matter of seconds, a futuristic tree-arsenal popped up on the commander side of the battleship and every weapon created started firing with no holding back. The fin was being blasted away, and it started to flinch. Bubbles in the size of buildings started to form and populate around the massive creature.

“HAHAHAHA GET READY!! HERE COMES THE GREAT TURN AROUND. BY THE WAY, I’D SAY THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN MOVE AS FAST AS ME IS JO, OUR AGRICULTURAL EXPERT BUT HE’S OFF HARVESTING NEW INGREDIENTS.”

I thought to myself for a moment… Jo? That sure is a familiar name but there’s no way that he’s the one I'm thinking of.

All of a sudden a giant whirlpool started to form as the fin was circling and the bubbles propelled it even further. CJ shouts merrily, “TODAY MIGHT BE ANOTHER TIE BUT NO WORRIES, EVEN IF IT IS. THERE'S NO WAY ANYBODY WILL EVER BEAT MY POMPADOUR!!!”

The waves in the whirlpool start crashing at a turbulent speed, a majority of the water starts lifting up and raindrops start to fall from the crashing waters. CJ starts forming what looks like jet wings and a propeller.

“OKAY, BUDDY OF THE SEA. SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!!!” CJ shouts in a lionhearted manner.

Massive bubbles start lifting out of the sea and into the air, the entire continent and ocean begin to tremble as a roar from the great depths bellows out.

The God of the Sea responds with a mighty, “OUUURRRRRAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

The Fin moved in circles at hi-speed, spinning like a beyblade. At the last spin, we see a ginormous tail swing at the Ancient right as CJ disconnected himself from his battleship. Waves crashed so hard that it parted the sea and summoned a thunderstorm.

CJ goes flying and exuberantly yells out “YABBA-DABBA-DOO!!!!”

The battleship was hit so hard that it disintegrated. CJ flies over here and grows a parachute made out of connected branches and leaves. He lands with a thud and ends with an “Ouch.”

This was the most manly thing I’ve ever experienced, my mouth hung open for the flies and all I could do was stare with veneration.

The battle-crazed Ancient turns to the sea and watches the fin slowly descend into Honeybun Waters.

CJ shouts with all of his heart, “GOODBYE OLD FRIEND, SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!”

Before the fin completely sinks, big bubbles gently float to the surface…

Italia speaks up after remembering something, “Ahh that’s right I think this is a good time for you to meet my grandson, Augusto! He is very talented when it comes to buttons.”

I was about to say something, but then I stayed quiet. Perhaps… It's better not to ask.