The Perfect Night

The first time she crossed my view, I knew that she was the one. She was different from everyone else. The world was filled with terrible, toxic people, but she was a beautiful light in this dark tunnel I had been walking through. Life had become so dark. Clouds covered the sun for days on end, without so much as a ray to colorize the gray world around me. The need to pay my bills was the only reason to even get out of bed. There were mornings I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, truly hoping that death's grasp would gently guide me away from this dreary routine.

But that has all changed. Thanks to her I can truly let a smile grace my face again. It feels like ages since light has shined in my eyes, and it is all thanks to her. I find myself humming as I brush my teeth in the morning, some love song I can never remember, and yet the notes vibrate from my soul into the morning air. I look in the mirror and admire the man that looks back at me. Tonight is going to be perfect. I feel more alive than I ever was, and yet a concerning thought crosses my mind.

What if I mess this up? What if she doesn't feel for me the way I feel for her? What if she decides to leave? These questions continue to swirl around my head as the world around me becomes a shade darker. My hands clench and I shut my eyes. No. Not again. I can't let myself overthink this. This is exactly how I messed it up last time. These dark thoughts will lead to nothing but trouble, so I do my best to keep them locked away, even if its just for tonight. Tonight is a special night. Tonight I ask her to spend the rest of our lives together.

The day's checklist is long, as there is much to do to make tonight absolutely perfect. The house is a mess, but in my defense there hasn't been much of a reason to clean, but that wasn't entirely the truth. I didn't want to clean. The house was unchanged since the night Bethany left. Bethany. She broke my heart... along with a vase, a few plates, and the hinge on my bathroom door. Okay.. Maybe the hinge was me, but I learned my lesson. I fixed the bathroom door and took the lock off, there's no need to lock the master bathroom anyway. This time will be different. It has to be.

I clean up my bedroom and move to the living room. Blue and gold shards of the vase decorate the floor next to the table where it used to stand tall. The dead Amaryllis lie scattered across the floor. My breath slows down as I gather them one by one, the events of that night flashing through my mind with each flower picked up off the floor. The screaming and yelling echoing in my mind and heart starts racing. It was your fault. You drove her away. My fist clenches and I wince. The shard I was picking up dug into my palm while I was lost in memory. I sigh and head to the kitchen to bandage my hand. I gingerly step around the broken plate shards on the floor around the kitchen. As I wrap my hand, I can't help but wonder if it's worth cleaning up. I cleaned up for Bethany. I made it all perfect for her and she still ran.

No. I can't think like that. This one is different. Rose is different. Rose is sweet, and amazing, and everything that Bethany couldn't be. Tonight is the first night of the rest of my life. I feel rejuvenated at the thought of Rose and I spending the rest of our lives together. The vase and broken plates are insignificant and cleaned up without any more thought. I spruce up the rest of the house and prepare myself. Its almost time.

I finish setting the table. Red napkins to match the wine, oven baked chicken parmesan on a bed of pasta, and Sinatra on the turntable in the corner. Everything is perfect. Everything will be perfect. I whistle as I head to the front door and grab my keyring hanging next to the door. It's time to pick up the lucky girl.

The evening is beautiful. The sun on the horizon, peaking over the roof of the barn on the edge of my yard. The air feels cool against my skin, giving me goosebumps as I head towards the large red structure. As I approach the door, I hold my breath. On the other end of this door is the one thing I need to make this night perfect. I pick up my keys and unlock the large lock keeping the barn closed. I pull the doors open and let the last of the days light bathe the hay covered entrance of the barn. In the center is a chair, filled with the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. The blanket I left over her has fallen next to her, she looks frightened, which saddens me.

"Please...." She whimpers as I approach, "I'm sorry..."

"Oh Rose, Your blanket fell," I whisper, brushing my hand across her cheek, "What if you had gotten a cold? That would've ruined tonight, and I know how much you've been looking forward to it. It's the most important night of our lives."

"Please... My name isn't Rose... It's Bethany...." She is trembling. It must be the excitement.

"Don't worry Rose, I made your favorite for dinner."

She starts to cry, she must have found out what I was going to ask, and can barely contain emotions. I smile at her.

"Tonight is going to be just perfect."