The Next Time I Will Wear White Is for My Wedding

In 2022.

This is happening. It still feels odd seated on a plane when I can’t even go out of my home not so long ago.

And to the man beside me, it wasn't long ago when I first met him, and on the day I met him, all I remember is he was wearing pearls.

It started on an online dating app. It was supposed to be a hook-up. But, instead, in between the time I spend writing, I find exciting conversations and intimacy if I get lucky.

I never plan to go on dating. I have had several conversations with my best friend that we are the same. We may never find love because we need our space.

Besides, isn't it too late for that, to find love, at a time when we are told to have some distance with one another when we never know when this all ends, the constant disruption in our lives, a virus that kills, a virus that finds its way to our bodies and becomes an unwanted intruder of our space?

Who does think of love in a time when every day we are presented with choosing to stay home or be out and be exposed to a virus that remains invisible in our eyes, but its effects are visible in our eyes,

People walking six feet apart, wearing masks, heads lowered down to avoid eye contact or verbal communication.

All of which not so long ago, we take for granted.

I always reply when I receive a message on the app, and I am always looking for RHRN — Right here, Right now.

Aside from the fact that I am not looking for love, I have been having some luck with the men I met on the app. They are giving me stories, writing prompts.

But, as Nora Ephron once said, everything is copy.

Who sent the first message? I don't remember. All I know is that I call him young man, as it has become my favorite line to anyone younger than I am.

Now that I am 52, I love the idea of being old.

I never had problems with aging, from my 30s all the way now that I am in my 50s.

We hit it off right away. It could be because he isn't that young anymore. He is 43. And he wasn't looking for an easy hookup. He was asking for a date.

He wanted us to go for beers. When was the last time I dated?

Dating is a space that is the farthest from my mind. Why would it be? I lost my Mom this year after being her constant companion in the hospital as she goes for her dialysis.

It was a time in my life that I misunderstood, but Mom made sure that I would learn the lessons before she left. It took us seven years. Mom stayed longer to make sure when she leaves that I will go on living.

There was a time when my heart can feel very little love, but love has a way to expand your horizon.

Today I found love, and my heart is one space less empty.