The man in the shadows

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn’t mine. I woke up sweaty, heart racing with the sheets on the floor.

I reached for the alarm clock to press snooze one last time before I had to pry myself out of bed. I could hear the preset coffee maker brewing and the smell led me to my favourite coffee cup. Staring at the black coffee all I could see was him. The man in my dreams. Each night I dream the same dream, a man in the shadows follows me to my work and appears in the distance all day. I sit at my desk and feel him watching me. The desk flies out the window. The second story window smashes and shards of glass slowly piece by piece drip to the ground and on the floor. I see myself getting up to look out the gaping hole.The wind blows my hair forward, not backwards. I can see him standing behind the street light looking up at me. I can’t make out his face. I stand there staring at his shadow. Somehow we are connected. I feel like we now know each other. I turn to look away and then I’m in my house walking down the hallway. The hallway breaks into two sections. I know the way. I must go through the right door to get to the washroom. I feel him, I can smell him, I feel that he is following me. Tonight I open the door on the left. I open the door and see a tall standing mirror, looking into it I see a shadow of a man and I wake up.

I hurry into the washroom to get ready for work. I manage to put on fresh clean clothes that I lay out the night before, because I know my mornings are hard. Hard to get out of bed. My headache is worse this morning, and all I can see is the door opening in the left. Will it be tonight I finally see what is behind the door and put this nightmare to rest?

At the office, Alice comes over to my cubical and says, “Rebecca, you look like crap! Did you dream the same dream again?”

I nod my head, looking at her with puffy eyes, black circles under my eyes and say to her, “I got a bit further in my dream last night.” Curling my fingers around my mug looking like I’m freezing but I’m not, the warmth gives me comfort.

Alice looks at me and said, “tonight we are going out, have a few drinks to clear your mind of this dream.” She is smiling at me before she turns her back to walk to her cubical. Perhaps that is what I need, a night out to relax a bit. I turn on my monitor and just before it turns on there he is in my screen. I rub my eyes and he is gone. I tell myself that I really need sleep.

Alice and I went for a brisk walk to the food truck down the street. I really needed the fresh air to zap some energy into me. At the food truck I smell him. He smells like after shave, the kind my dad used to wear. I haven’t smelled that smell in a very long time except in my dreams. What is happening to me. I’m frightened and start to sweat. The palms of my hands go numb and I start to see spots.

“Rebecca, Rebecca”, I hear from far away. “Look at me, open your eyes” I hear. It’s closer now. When I open my eyes Alice had my arm wrapped around hers very tightly to hold me up.

“What happened,” she looked at me. “Where did you go just now?” Are you ok, I think you just had a panic attack .”

I looked at her, tried to smile and said, “he is here!” Looking around frantically.

“”What do you mean he is here” she said.

I whispered so only she could here because we now had a few people around us. Looking at me. I said, “ the guy from my dream. I felt him, and smelled him.”

She looked at me with eyes wide, and said,” you must have drifted off for a second because you haven’t slept in days! Here have a sip of coffee and let’s sit at the bench to have our hot dog. “

I managed to walk there a little unsteady on my feet. Was she right, did I doze off for a second? That would be the only logical explanation. How could the man be real. I cradled the cup of coffee once more sniffing the wonderful aroma of the coffee. By the time we got back to the office I felt more like myself and less like a zombie.

After work we went out for dinner, had some wine, it was nice to chat about anything and everything except my dreams. I felt relaxed for the first time in a while. We were going to go out to a bar to do some line dancing but I was just to tired. All I wanted to do was go home, put on my PJ’s and watch a movie.

At home I decided to pop some pop corn, and grab another glass of wine. It was finally Friday so a couple glasses of wine was no big deal.

I see myself walking down the hallway in a flowing white dress. My hair is wild all around like it’s in a wind tunnel. The hallway is familiar but splits in two. I reach for the door on the right but curiosity overwhelms me and I open the door to the left.

I see myself walk in and notice the mirror on the wall. All of a sudden it expands over the whole wall. I step closer. Then I smell him, and look into the mirror searching for him. My face begins to crack and the shadow of the man is right in front of me. The shadows are all around him. The glass cracks more, and he reaches out for me.

I scream, but nothing comes out. I see my body thrashing against the shadows of two hands. But, he is much stronger. I see shards of glass in my skin and blood oozing out of my arms. Then darkness.

I can feel him breathing on me, and smell his aftershave. His hands still holding me. I try to focus through the darkness to adjust my eyes. He lets go of me for a second, and I run.

I can see my white dress floating in the dark. I can feel myself looking backwards while I run. Then I hit something, and I fall backwards. I try to scream once again but nothing comes out. It feels like my body is in water. It feels like I’m gasping for air. Then once I get my bearings, I am able to stay afloat. My body twists and turns, searching. Searching for stable ground.

I feel my body being tugged downwards, Then start to flail my body. Trying to break through the surface. I know I’m not far from the surface because my hand is no longer in the water. I feel the air seep out of my lungs. My eyes are wide, and I see him under water. The shadows still latching on to his body. I kick my feet as hard as I can and still can’t break the surface.

I hear voices through the water. I think I hear my name. But my head bobs up and down on the top of the water. I try to kick my feet, and move my arms to get some air but all I see is my hands out in front of my body, head into the water not moving.

The nurse in the hospital looks at Alice and said, “you found her on the couch? Not in the bathtub?

Alice very worried looked at the nurse and said, “no, she didn’t show up to work on Monday morning so I was worried. I drove to her apartment and she was on the couch not breathing.”

The nurse shook her head, and asked if Rebecca has any relatives because they should be called in to make a decision about the respirator.

“Respirator? Tears forming in her eyes.””Please can I go see her.” After the ambulance took her away an hour ago Alice paced the halls and phoned Rebecca’s mother an hour drive away to come to the hospital.

“Please let me see her, her mother is on the way. I don’t want her to be alone!”

The nurse looked at her and said, “yes you can go in, but once her mother comes you will have to wait in the waiting room.” The nurse went to turn to leave but she turned towards Alice and said, “are you sure she wasn’t in the tub?”

Alice looked surprised and said,”no she was on the couch with her head down with her arms over her head face down into the couch. Popcorn was all over the place, and the tv was on. Why?

The nurse touched her forehead like she was trying to think. She said, “because there was water in her lungs, like she drowned.” Furrowing her eyebrows together.

“What? Rebecca said, she couldn’t have heard the nurse right. “That makes no sense, so she didn’t have a heart attach, or a stroke?”

The nurse said, “No it’s like she was under water. Like she drowned!”

Alice ran to Rebecca’s room, like she new what was going on. She opened the door to see her lips blue, and little pricks in her skin, with streaks of blood like water washed most of it off her body.

She leaned in close to Rebbeca while the respirator breathed for her. She shouted at Rebecca, and shook her shoulders. She yelled at her saying, “ get away from her you monster, leave her alone.”

The nurse and doctor ran into the room, watching Alice yell at her friend. Just as they were grabbing her to take her out of the room, Rebecca opened her eyes!