The Lost Witch

There’s this feeling, that I cannot resist. When the sun delicately caresses you, and the breeze brushes past, rustling the trees on its way. The early stages of summer, when the cold is on its way out, and basking under the warmth of a rejuvenated sun is blissful.

On those days I’d frequent the sunburnt coloured roof that had worked so hard to protect us from the winter just past. A quaint little space out front of a weathered attic window in a cottage nestled on the foot of a hill. From my perch I watched. Miss Ermelinda had always loved working in her blanketed garden of Marigolds. Her mousy-brown curls catching the light in a way that made them difficult to discern from the flowers. A scene no one would mistake for anything but the ‘lost’ witch from the legend.

“ Find the cottage, deep in the forest,

with a carpet of summer, that warms the heart.

There the witch shall stand before us,

and all of our troubles will slowly depart. "

A legend that led some to believe, should they find the lost witch, she shall grant your wish in gratitude. Inciting foolish men to throw their stability to the wind and uselessly wander the globe. I now find the notion foolish. The assumption that ‘finding she who does not wish to be found’ would somehow ingratiate her.

Nevertheless, I do ponder how one might respond when they learnt that Miss Ermelinda’s front door opens right into the center of Sauris. Indeed, the biggest city within a month’s travel by horse, in any direction. I imagine it would be something along the lines of; ‘I spent years of my life in the most desolate of places, throwing worldly pleasures to the dirt, only to bump into the lost witch buying a kumquat at the farmer’s market!’. I had only hoped I would be there when the day arrived.

You see, Miss Ermelinda disliked the attention being a witch brought, not that being an introvert helped. So she spent a lot of time creating, maintaining and upgrading various spells that allowed for the conveniences of a modern day city, with the isolation needed to cast spells in comfort.

However, my stream of thought halted that day when something small moved at the edge of the forest. I had thought it might be a man, although I had been wrong before. A sudden pause was followed by a desperate propulsion across the land at speeds that left me amazed it had not fallen, until it fell. I confirmed, it was indeed a man. An ugly man, that barreled toward Miss Ermelinda, ensuring my entertainment for that morning.

I was not let down by the irritation that crossed Miss Ermelinda’s face as she spotted the boorish red headed man galloping toward her. Had she noticed in time, she surly would have hitched up her skirt and trudged back in doors, to pretend no one was home.

An all too brief and deliciously awkward moment past before the two made their way inside. Naturally, I followed.

“ -you hurt? ” Having slithered my way into the kitchen undetected, I caught the tail end of a sentence dripping insincerity. I lived for the drama of an introvert that the world sought to uncover.

“ Ah no ma’am, just a few scratches and bruises. ”

The threat of a brief stay halted my movements in disappointment, revealing my presence to Miss Ermelinda.

“ But if I could trouble you for some food and water? ” A request that immediately rejuvenated me. She begrudgingly obliged and began the process.

As I finished arranging the feathers in my cushioned theater seat, I glanced over at a face that clearly said ‘ What is the quickest way to get this man to leave? ’ and smiled.

If only I had popcorn.

“ What a cute cat you have. ”

I thought to claw his eyes out.

My snarl was swiftly crushed by the open scoff that emanated from Miss Ermelinda. She knew me too well.

“ Sir, what did you say your name was? ” She changed the topic.

“ Wesley, ma’am. ”

I had never heard of a more appropriate name for the boar that sat at the center of my disrupted bliss.

“ Wesley, it might take a bit of time for me to whip something up, so may I suggest you shower in the meantime? I shall give you some of my husband’s clothes. ”

Pity he wasn’t around long enough to discover no such man existed.

“ If that’s alright ma’am, I would gladly take the offer. ”

Her reassuring smile lasted only momentarily before turning to me and signaling to keep the intruder under watch while she vanished to complete the task. It was something I had refined over the years, my evil stare, even bringing a child to tears once.

As a sneeze crinkled at the tip of my nose I knew, the clothes had been brought into creation. An allergy to magic, you see.

Clothes in hand, the intruder made his way to the bathroom and I took the opportunity to clarify the situation.

“ What is the plan? ”

“ We drug the food. ”

Nothing new then.

“ and then? ” I probed.

“ You do your thing, we take him to the hospital and dump him where he can be someone else’s problem. ”

By ‘thing’ she meant shadow puppetry. It is a rather burdensome skill that required I enter his shadow and use it to control his movements.

“ can’t you just teleport him there? ” I moaned.

“ No Nick. You know I can’t do that. ”

“ why not? ”

“ BECAUSE Nick, people tend to notice when a person randomly ‘pops’ out of thin air. ”

Robbed of my opportunity to retort, Wesley reemerged.

“ Mhhm, Smells delicious. ”

“ Well, I hope you’re hungry. ”

“ What about yourself? ” He enquired giving me brief hope that he had some decency. It was cut short however, as the food began vanishing before Miss Ermelinda could even finish her next sentence.

“ Oh no, I’ve already eaten. ”

A few moments passed until a groan of satisfaction marked the end of the feast.

“ That really hit the spot. Thank you Ma’am. ”

It should have also marked the beginning of a calm and peaceful nap. One that had both Miss Ermelinda and I equally baffled as to why it had not yet begun? Perhaps the sugar had been mistaken for sleeping powder? Excruciatingly unable to question the situation, Miss Ermelinda broke the silence and begun what I could only assume was Plan B.

“ Shall we have one last cup of tea for strength before we head into town? ” Miss Ermelinda presented this as a question, but made her way to the kettle and stove before a response was provided. Curiosity roused me from my seat toward Miss Ermelinda. As I could not talk with her in this moment, I had decided to witness the preparation with my own eyes. Had she perhaps called forth a Bear that would take offence to the man? Or possibly she’d create a long lost sister that has come to collect her younger brother? Or perchance has she thought of something more classic, such as turning him into a frog and releasing him into the wild where he could never speak of having met the lost witch?

Upon arrival I recall feeling a distinct sense of disappointment for the entire day. It had not gone as anticipated. Miss Ermelinda had emptied the remainder of the sleeping powder into his tea. Overkill if you asked me. It was enough to put 10 men to sleep.

The ever approaching end of my entertainment, in a most dissatisfying way, pushed me to the closet of requirement. I was in search of our last remnant of chalk from the furthest depths of the great blackness that is the closet of requirement, when I heard the inevitable.

If you have never heard the sound of a forty-somthing year old man hit the furniture with the full weight of his body as the sleeping powder took effect, then I would have described it as… a deeply meaty thunk.

“ You left me alone with that?! ” Miss Ermelinda complained upon my return.

“ So? You left me alone with him earlier. ”

“ You’re a man! It’s not the same! We agreed your job is to keep an eye on the strangers in the house! ”

“ I’m a cat. And he’s a man with 11 men’s worth of sleep powder in his system. He wasn’t going to get up, while you weren’t looking, and find something that would give you away. It was fine. ”

“ You don’t know that! What if- ”

“ I’ve brought the chalk. ”

“ Why didn’t you say so earlier, hurry. ”

The displeasure of being rushed would normally make me inclined to retaliate more so, but the successful change in topic pushed me to leave it alone. However, that did not mean I would not point out Miss Ermelinda’s faults,

“ You wasted our sleeping powder. ”

“ I needed to! What if I gave him a second lot and he STILL didn’t fall asleep? What would I offer then? Dessert?! The man’s practically a horse. ” This made me chuckle despite the unpleasant feeling of having had my fur desecrated with a chalk sigil.

With the spell cast, Miss Ermelinda observed as my body melded into the man’s shadow.

“ Nick? ” She always had a habit of expecting me to work faster than I can.

If I had to describe the sensation of entering someone’s shadow, I would say it was much like trying to get into leather pants right after you’ve washed. However, I ignored the question and instead carried on the earlier conversation,

“ It’s annoying having to get more. The lady at the pharmacy always gives me these eyes. ”

Although if I’m being perfectly honest, my talking helped Miss Ermelinda feel more comfortable while I got the intruder’s behemoth body standing up on two feet.

“ Eyes? ” She scoffed.

“ Yes. Eyes. I’m telling you, she knows something’s wrong. ”

“ No she doesn’t ”

Miss Ermelinda would then proceed to make the intruder look less … asleep. Covering the eyes with sunglasses, and a mask or bandana to hide a drooling mouth.

“ Yes, she does. I’m sure of it. ”

“ Your over-reacting Nick. ”

The few steps from the kitchen to the front door were all I had to perfect the puppetry before stepping out onto the stage that was Sauris’ city center.

“ I am quite certain. My senses aren’t often wrong in such matters. ”

“ Yeah, yeah. ”

The door shut behind us, and the house fell to silence. I knew that upon my return our haven had been re-secured. Although, it was hard to head home when the hospital staff had such deliciously entertaining expressions of concern about a man in sunglasses and a mask collapse at the front door. I do love watching the drama unfold.

Wesley only once crossed my mind after that day. With so many desperately searching for the lost witch, I wonder how he may have felt should he have known that he not only met her, but bathed in her house and ate her food. It is a shame he will never know. Regardless, I can’t help but wonder what he would have wished for, should he have had the opportunity. Not that Miss Ermelinda would have taken kindly to the demands of strangers.

But then again, she can’t turn us all into cats, right?