The Last Stop

With my left hand I had just grabbed onto the last available handle, standing between a man with a large suitcase and two tourists with so big backpacks that they were taller than their heads. My knees blocked by the legs of a woman sitting next to me, while with my right arm, I tried to hold my bag so it wouldn't come right in her face.

A few seconds before the doors closed, a familiar figure entered the carriage. It took me another two seconds to focus on his face: Mark, with his dark suit and laptop backpack. I held my breath for a moment. That's exactly how we met, squeezed into a crowded carriage, though now a few meters and a little too much luggage separated us.

In truth, we had already seen each other at work, between one floor and another of the same company, but it was a morning like many others that we recognized each other on the subway and started talking.

We hadn't seen each other for two weeks now, I had done everything to avoid him at work, and I think he did the same. I continued to take the train at the same time as always and he was never there, perhaps he chose another time on purpose to avoid me.

As my mind traveled with thoughts, his eyes noticed me. Only for a moment, then they abandoned me to turn to the window. You can't see anything from the subway window, only darkness and the reflection of the people inside the carriage, perhaps he realized this because he looked back at me and gave a nervous half-smile. I smiled back at him, I wanted to wave my hand at him but I couldn't move.

His eyes wandered again to the window and then looked back at me for just a moment, another tense and nervous smile, while I realized that I hadn't taken my eyes off him since the moment he entered.

I looked again at his backpack, probably he had an important meeting, in fact, he was tapping his feet nervously, surely he was going over in his mind the things to say.

Or was he nervous for me?

Maybe he was nervous because he couldn't wait to get out of that situation. Maybe it was a good thing we couldn't talk to each other. I was the one who broke up after two months, I was offended because we went out together and as soon as he met a friend he introduced me as a colleague and not as his girlfriend.

He didn't want others at work to know we were dating, he wanted to keep things private to prevent people from gossiping. But if we are both free what's the problem? I told him. He had been in the company for much longer than me and certainly had a position to defend himself and didn't want to be attacked in any way, perhaps knowing me little he didn't trust me completely, I had heard that he had had a bad experience in the past, perhaps I was too clingy and hasty.

Next to him, three people moved to get off at the next stop, a space was created, but he didn't move and soon the precious living space was occupied by others. Thus, my attention was drawn by the surf-shaped pendant around his neck. I had given it to him because we had seen Point Break together and he had told me that his dream was to learn to surf, I had laughed a lot and he had pretended to be offended, then we had laughed again to the point of tears when I had given him the pendant. We had been broken up two weeks ago and he still had it, a stupid pendant that was worth nothing.

The lady sitting next to me stood up, finally freeing my legs and also the arm that was holding the bag, I tried to stretch myself in the little space available. Mark noticed this and gestured to me to the free seat. I smiled at him and shook my head no, then the place was immediately occupied by an elderly lady. He smiled at me, perhaps he thought it was a kind gesture on my part, we had talked about this many times, giving way to the elderly. The truth was that if I had sat down I would have lost eye contact with him, so I remained standing crushed by the tourists' backpacks.

Mark pointed to my bag, where he knew lunch was, and he also knew that on Mondays I usually eat salad to make up for pizza and beer from the weekend. With his lips he mimed the word "lettuce" and I instead replied "fruit salad", to which he pretended to be annoyed with one of his funny faces.

I pointed to his backpack, and he rolled his eyes and made a gesture with his hand to shoot himself in the head, confirming my assumption that he had a meeting, he was really stupid and I had to laugh!

He was a serious, efficient and decisive man at work, as much as he was childish, pleasant and affectionate in private. That was what I loved about him.

There were a few minutes left before our stop, but I knew he would run away without waiting for me, not even when we were together we enter or left the company jointly.

The train slowed down, some people began to move towards the exit. Mark took his cell phone from his pocket and raised his arm to show it to me, his childish expression asking for permission. I was still smiling and nodded yes, call me.

He smiled at me again as the doors opened, then he turned and ran away.

The End.

***

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