The Fruitful Darkness

The fruitful darkness.

That was the essence of her tale.

Her kind nature: it was like the assimilation of senses that transpires upon a bite into the season’s ripest harvest. Like the sweetness of the richest fruit carefully picked to tickle the lips of its newfound owner.

You see, the fruit of life’s labor was at her fingertips, awaiting her indulgence.

An indulgence that was dependent upon her capacity to blossom. And her capacity was immaculate, if of course, her doubt of self ceased. Her yearning to run dried out.

But this season of her life- it illuminated that darkness.

She’d been running. Running from the pain of loss. Running from love of the pure hearted. Running from herself.

Truth be told. She wasn't quite sure what she was searching for; she wasn't quite sure she was ready to be found.

For being found meant leaving what was left behind. And her heart- she left that miles ago. Within a mirror that was too large to pack.

That mirror, oh that mirror. It reflected an image of herself she’d never seen before. A feeling of wholeness. The honesty of rawness. A healing that can only quite be accomplished by love.

A love that might not have been perfect, but the moments of connection, they were the first time she’d ever felt safe enough to take a breath. A breath within the arms of another.

But that was miles away. Beneath the baggage of lovely lies and begotten betrayal. And her navigation through uncertainty was far from over.

She journeyed through the deserted desert, only to feel loneliness.

She passed the lofty sea she once called home but was left only with disappointment.

But there was one day in particular- a day where the sun set quietly.

The birds flew with a freedom that would inspire the convicted. The mountains in their awe-worthy state, protected all that lie within their grasp.

The roads, in their fast-paced norm, felt still. And frankly, she noticed she was the only one on the road.

You know those times where you reach your destination without awareness? Where driving felt so automatic that your mind wondered during the entirety of the trip?

She was deep diving into the web of thoughts that seemed never-ending. Reminiscing on the decisions that led to her cross-country trip.

That was until- well, until the stillness of the environment pulled her to the moment.

Her thoughts paused. Her heart slowed. Her senses sharpened.

Her ears heard the songs of silence. Her body felt the will of the wind. Her eyes focused on the vibrancy of contrast amongst the colors of her surroundings.

Yet, all her senses were gracefully guided into the distance. The distance that unveiled the one thing that looked like it did not belong. Or- the one thing that held the balance of all that surrounded it. A single tree.

It stood lone and lofty amongst a field of grass. A field which lay at the foot of the mountains.

For its mysterious and nurturing essence whispered her name.

She listened and followed the instruction that felt vaguely familiar. Like the peace that pulled her to the beauty of presence. The feeling of home she had been wondrously chasing.

She stopped her car. Tranquilly removed her hesitation. And began on her way.

This single tree she approached; it had a wisdom that was whimsically painted within the strokes of its' aged bark. The kind of aging that can only be gifted through time and the trials and tribulations that follow.

Although its power was of great statue, its' nature was kind. For it bore fruit for the weary. It provided protection for the fearful. It invoked clarity for the lost.

It was fruitful darkness. See, in its wise and harnessed state, it was merely called beauty.

This realization occurred as she rested her back against the trunk sitting amongst the roots. The roots to which she had not noticed she had begun building. For building requires a multitude of various breakings; of tear downs, let downs and intermissions. Each collapse led to a new realization. Each realization led to a new action. And the action of embarking on a cross-country trip led her to this moment, where she lay at the mercy of a single tree in a location she'd call lost during a season known as uncertain.

Time passed at a rate that befuddled her. As the sun began to kiss the horizon and the moon began to waken the stars, something had occurred to her.

In listening to the guidance that whispered her name; in pausing long enough to notice the small mysterious tree in a field that could easily be passed by- she was able to understand herself just a bit more.

She now knew the journey she would adventure upon. A journey that was inspired by the ability to notice the workings of things unseen and things seen right in front of her. The balance of her blessings and her demons. Her lightness and her darkness. For her new journey was internal in hopes that her external would serve the same purpose as this tenancious and tender tree she was accompanied by.

The connection to this timeless wisdom- it was the piece of a puzzle she’d thought vanished.

A soft smile appeared as she gently opened her eyes to the twinkling sky that felt endlessly expansive.

You see her essence- it too was fruitful darkness. For in the process of balance and embracement, the beauty of her life truly began to unfold.