The Ending is the Beginning

My day started relatively normal. I rolled out of bed, got dressed and woke up my six-month-old son Eli. I gave him a bottle and got him ready for the day. I sat him down in his bouncer while I woke up my husband, Jack, for work. He opened his eyes, smiled at me, and pulled me into bed.

“Good morning, beautiful. Why don't you stay in bed with me, and we'll play hooky from work today?”

I laughed and kissed him.

“Jack, we can't do that two days in a row even though staying in bed with you all day is tempting.”

Oh, come on, Ensley, you know you can't resist all this,” he said as he gave me a wink.

“Nice try, Mr. Smooth,” I replied with a giggle. “Now, get dressed while I make you some breakfast.”

Before I headed to the kitchen, I picked up Eli from his bouncer, and he gave me a big bubble grin. I sat him in his high chair and said, “aren't you just the cutest little guy I've ever seen.”

“Hey, I thought I was the cutest guy you've ever seen!”

I turned around to see Jack still in his pajamas.

“Sorry Jack, you know baby cuteness trumps husband cuteness. Besides, I'll bump up your status if you put on some real clothes.”

“I'm going; I'm going. I just had to come in here first to see this little guy, and yep, your right; I've definitely got some tough competition.”

Jack kissed Eli on the head and gave me a playful spank on the butt,

“At least we'll always know mommy has the cutest butt in the house,” Jack announced as he left the room.

I chuckled as I began to start breakfast. When I finished making the food, we all sat down at the table. Jack and I continued our flirty banter while we ate as we did every day. Our mornings together have always been my favorite part of the day. I so desired to stay home with my little family. I dreaded the thought of going to my ordinary office job. I knew I couldn't stay home again; I was already on the shit list with my boss. He was catching on to my so-called sick days. It probably didn't help I'd been calling in once or twice a month since I returned from maternity leave. But how could I say no to a day home with Jack and Eli? Those days were much better than being in a stuffy old office.

After convincing myself I had to go to work, I grabbed Eli from his high chair and got things ready to leave. All three of us made our way out the door. Jack gave me a big kiss. As Eli and I were getting in the car, I heard Jack yell from his vehicle,

“I LOVE YOU; YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF MY HEART!! I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS GREAT AS YOUR BUTT!!”

I blushed as I yelled back,

“I LOVE YOU TOO, GOOFBALL!”

Before I got in the car, my friend Lauren next door waved and screamed,

“YOU DO HAVE A GREAT BUTT ENSLEY!”

“HAHA, THANKS, LAUREN!”

As Jack pulled out of the driveway next to me, I blew him a kiss. He gave me a little wink and drove away. I backed up, and off I went to drop Eli off at daycare. After I left the daycare, I hurried to work and went inside. The next few hours were one long, dull blur. When lunchtime came around, I called Jack to see how his day was going. He answered with a cheerful voice,

“Hey there, sexy mama wanna go on a date with the second cutest guy tonight.”

“I don't know; who would watch the first cutest?”

“Well, this handsome man just got off the phone with your mom, and she was ecstatic to watch our cuteness king. So what do you say?”

“I say it sounds like a date.”

“Well, hotdog, I got myself a steamy date tonight! Your mom should be there when you get home from work so you can get ready.”

“Ok perfect, I can't wait! I better get off the phone. My boss is starting to give me the evil eye. I love you so much!”

“I love you too, beautiful I'll see you tonight.”

The rest of the day dragged on. I just wanted to be done with this snore-fest.

4 pm finally arrived, and I couldn't get out the door fast enough. I picked up Eli from daycare, excited to see his cute face! He greeted me with the sweetest smile and squeaked out the phrase “mama.” Moments like this couldn't compare to anything else. The joy that he brought to Jack and me was beyond belief. How did we get so lucky?

The drive home seemed longer than usual, mainly because I was eager for my date night with Jack. We hadn't gotten out too much since Eli was born, so tonight was much needed for us. My excitement grew as I pulled into the driveway. I unbuckled Eli from his car seat and went into the house. My mom hadn't arrived yet, so I figured I could browse through my closet to get an idea of what to wear. I sat Eli in his bouncer to play while I looked.

As soon as I opened my closet door, I heard the doorbell ring. I picked up Eli and walked towards the door. I remember thinking, ‘why did my mom ring the doorbell?’ She always just came right in and said, knock-knock, grandmas here. I got to the door and opened it and was instantly confused when I saw Sheriff Acklers and Robert, my husband's lab partner from work. Sheriff Acklers had an uneasy look on his face. I was about to question them about their odd visit when the Sheriff said,

“Mrs.Berkson, may we come in?”

I hesitated for a second and answered back with a, “Yes, of course.

I opened the door more and let them inside. “So, what are you guys doing here? Did Jack get arrested or something?” I said jokingly.

Nobody laughed; they both just looked at each other with grim faces. Robert said, “Ensley, maybe we should sit down and talk in the living room.”

“Umm... Ok, follow me, guys. Can I get either of you a drink or a snack?”

“No, thank you, Ensley, we're okay, ”

We sat in silence for a second when Sherrif Acklers took a deep breath and explained the reasoning for their visit.

“Mrs.Berkson, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but there's been an accident at Genetic Co. Jack was inside when his lab caught fire which caused an explosion. I'm so sorry to tell you this, but Jack didn't survive the blast.”

I sat there holding Eli as I tried to comprehend the words I had just heard. The tears streamed down my face. This couldn't be real. It was a nightmare. We were supposed to be the lucky ones. The unbearable pain coursed through me. It was an agonizing feeling; my stomach and chest burned as if I had swallowed acid.

All I could mutter out was, “NO!”

“Ensley, I know this is hard to understand, but just know Genetic Co, and I will help you with anything you and Eli need. You're not alone.”

“Mrs.Berkson, is there anyone I can call for you? I'd hate for you and Eli to be by yourself.”

I could sense the sorrow in Sheriff Aklers voice when he spoke to me. I looked up and tried to answer him, but my throat felt paralyzed. The burning sensation overpowered me. I couldn't do anything but sob. Eli started to get fussy; I knew he could feel the pain that radiated from me. I hugged him closer to my chest and tried to console him.

I heard the front door open,

“Knock-Knock, grandma's here!”

My mom walked Around the corner, and smile she had on her face disappeared as soon as she caught a glimpse of my tear-covered face.

“Ensley, what is going on?”

Sherrif Acklers and Robert stood up and walked over to her. I could hear them whispering the words I heard only a few minutes ago. My mom gasped out the words, “ Oh No, Not Jack!”

Her eyes welted up with tears as she ran over and wrapped her arms around Eli and me.

“ Oh, Ensley, I'm so sorry, sweetheart. We're going to get through this, I promise you.”

The pain in my mom's voice made everything hurt even more. My stomach ached to the degree where I had to stand up. I handed my mom Eli and ran for the bathroom. I became so violently ill I felt as if I could die. I laid on the bathroom floor next to the toilet in a ball, holding my knees as uncontrollable tears rolled down my face. My mom knocked on the door.

“Sweetie, can I come in?”

I didn't answer her. I stayed on the floor, unable to move. She opened the door and sat next to me, picked up my head and put it in her lap. She tried her best to console me by stroking my hair with her hand. I was a mess. My mind was in chaos as I tried to sit up. The only logical thought I had was, where's Eli?

I could only shudder out the word, “Eli?”

“He's fine, honey. Lauren came over after she talked to Robert outside. He's with her playing in his room.”

I somehow managed to get up off the floor as my mother helped me walk to my bed. As we walked by Eli’s room, I got a glance from Lauren, which could only translate to, oh Ensley, you poor thing. My mom laid me down on the bed and took my shoes off. She covered me up with the blanket and stroked my hair once more.

“Ensley dear, if you need anything, let me know. You just rest now and don't worry about a thing. Lauren and I will take care of Eli.”

I stared at Jacks's side of the bed and replayed the morning we had together. For a moment, I smiled when I thought of our conversation. Then the tears and sadness rushed back like a broken dam. I should have stayed in bed with him. Why didn't I stay? How could I have chosen work over him? The guilt filled my whole body. If I had stayed, he would have died. It was all my fault. We would be together right now if I just stayed in bed.

The next few hours, I cried and cried from the anguish of losing him and the extreme guilt I felt. How many tears can one person have? I didn't know if they would ever stop. I eventually cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, the room was dark. I switched on the lamp next to me and sat up. As I looked around, I started to feel like the air in the room was thick. I dragged myself out of bed and stepped outside on the balcony from my room. I felt some relief as the cool, crisp air hit me. I sat down in the chair and inhaled the fresh air around me. The misery from the day made me feel numb.

I sat out there for a while and tried to process how I was going to get over the loss of Jack. Nothing would ever be the same without him here. My mind started to go to a dark place. I didn't want to exist without Jack. Suicidal thoughts devoured my brain. I stood up and wondered if I would succumb to death if I leaped from my balcony. As I looked down at the ground beneath me, I heard something rustling in the tree next to me. I glanced at the tree to see if I could figure out what was making the noise. Out of nowhere, this loud eerie screeching sound pierced my ears. I jumped back from the edge of the balcony, frightened by the creepy tone. I heard the sound again, only this time it seemed to be more of a chilling scream. It freaked me out so much I quickly went back inside my room and closed the door.

I watched out the door, trying to find out what it could have been. I tried to see in the tree next to the balcony when I caught sight of a bird flying out. It was hard to see, but I could tell it had white under its long wings. I thought maybe I had seen some brown spots on its back as it flew away. I picked up my phone and searched for whitish birds that make screeching noises. I concluded that it was more than likely a barn owl. Knowing that the eerie sounds I heard came from a bird and not something evil gave me some comfort. I peeked over at the door again, and to my surprise, there was that same barn owl. It was sitting on the rale, looking in at me. We gazed at each other as I tried to take in all of its mesmerizing beauty.

I've never seen a barn owl before. It was amazing to watch and take in all the distinct colors. The face was all white and made almost a heart silhouette around it. Outside of that, the color changed from gray and tan with speckled brown spots here and there. It really was a magical creature. I was scared to move because I was worried it would fly away again. The distraction of the barn owl was enjoyable. It kept my mind from wandering back to that dark place. Sadly the owl flew off into the night a few seconds later. I was forced back into my gloomy reality.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that my mom had forgotten to take the baby monitor. I decided to turn it on to take a quick peek at Eli. I felt terrible that I never said goodnight to him. He must have been so confused because Jack and I always put him to bed together. When I turned on the video monitor, I was shocked at what I saw. Sitting on his crib stood that same barn owl outside the balcony door. I jumped out of bed and ran to his room. The door was open, and when I looked inside, there was no owl. I tiptoed into his room to look around. I started to feel completely crazy thinking I had seen the owl in there. I kissed Eli and snuck back down the hall to my room.

The rest of the night seemed long. I could barely sleep. I dozed in and out as I tried to keep the dark thoughts at bay. I knew deep down I couldn't leave my Eli without a mother and a father. That wouldn't be fair to him. The following days were hazy. The autopilot had taken over. Jack's funeral was going to take place that next morning. I couldn't fathom the thought of it. I turned on Eli’s video monitor to distract myself. He was the only thing that could put a smile on my face.

Once again, I turned on the monitor and saw that barn owl standing on his crib. I sprinted to his room, knowing it would be there. Only it wasn't. My mind must have been playing tricks on me, or I was delirious from the lack of food and sleep. I went back to my room and looked out the balcony door, expecting to see the barn owl. But I saw nothing; I started to think the owl was a figment of my imagination. Maybe I was going crazy. It was another sleepless night. I had dreams of the owl, and at some point, I swear it was sitting at the foot of my bed. When I sat up to get a better view, just like in Eli’s room, nothing was there.

Jack's funeral was burdensome. I couldn't take all the condolences. Each one reminded me of the pain of losing Jack and the guilt that came along with it. Somehow I survived the bleak day and was relieved to be home. Like all the others, the rest of the day was a blur. The night came fast, and with that came the owl hallucinations. I had to convince myself it was vivid dreams. I didn't have any other explanation for it.

I laid in bed and grabbed the baby monitor, and turned it on. I wasn't surprised when I saw the owl on my son's crib this time. I still went to his room to investigate, knowing when I got there, the owl would be gone. And it was. I determined that I couldn't keep watching Eli’s monitor every night, so the next morning, I moved his crib into my bedroom. If the owl wanted to watch my son, he would have to do it in my room.

The next night I put Eli to bed and watched his crib as he slept. I didn't know what was real anymore. My emotions were all over the place; between the grief, pain, and fear, I was losing my mind to an imaginary owl. As I kept an eye on the crib, my eyes got too heavy to stay open, and I drifted off to sleep. I woke up a while later to the sound of Eli moving in his sleep. I opened my eyes once again to the owl sitting on his crib. I popped up instantly to look, and of course, nothing was there.

The sightings continued to happen for a few more days. I was worried if I told anyone about this, I would be dubbed insane, so I decided to keep it to myself for now. I was absolutely exhausted from the lack of sleep. It was getting harder and harder to stay awake to watch the crib. Things changed one night. I woke up to Eli talking baby gibberish in his crib. When I looked over at him instead of an owl, this time, I saw a tall black figure standing over the crib. I was horrified and sat up, but it was gone. To say it wasn't easy to go back to sleep was an understatement. My eyes ached from the constant staring around the room.

My mom showed up at my house the following morning. She said I looked awful, and I don't blame her. I probably looked like a decaying zombie. She took Eli out for the day, so I could try and get some sleep. I had a hard time getting to sleep. When I was alone, it was all I could do to stop the misery from eating me from the inside. I eventually fell asleep, and surprisingly I slept for more than a few hours. I woke up almost rejuvenated. It was a pleasant sensation.

My mom came back with Eli soon after. She offered to stay and help. I told her we would be fine. It took some convincing to get her to leave, but she finally did. By the time she left, the sun had gone down. I put Eli to bed and prepared myself for what the night would bring. After a bit of time, I began to think everything was from lack of sleep. I still felt tired, and I knew if I didn't get more sleep, I really could go crazy.

I should have known better because I suddenly woke up to the black figure at the end of my bed. When I sat up, I figured it would disappear, but it didn't. Instead, it grabbed my ankle and proceeded to pull me from my bed. I screamed in horror. Was this really happening? The black figure continued pulling me out of bed, and we were making our way up to the ceiling. It went through, and I felt my ankle be released. I fell back onto my mattress and started hyperventilating. These things that kept occurring weren't vivid dreams or hallucinations. It was really happening. I was shaken to my core. I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed Eli and fled the house.

I couldn't call my mom for fear of sounding like a lunatic. It was just after midnight, and I saw Lauren’s lights were still on; I grabbed the backup diaper bag from my car and walked next door. I knocked on the door and decided I would tell Lauren I couldn't sleep and didn't feel like being alone. She let me inside, and we talked into the night. It was so hard to act like I was ok. I figured to an extent; if I seemed off, she would chalk it up to my grieving process. She eventually went to bed, and I held Eli till the sun came up.

I walked back over to my house and decided then and there I had to move. I called two moving companies to come over and pack our stuff. I couldn't bear the thought of getting rid of Jack’s things. So I had the movers pack them too. I put the essential items for Eli and me in the car. I spent the entire afternoon looking at houses and found one a few hours away in the same town as my mom. I called my mom and told her I was selling my home and moving by her. She was baffled about my abrupt decision but quickly got excited. I asked if I could stay with her until I got everything for my new house in order. She gave me an overly delighted yes.

By the time I was leaving town, it had started to get dark. I was getting nervous about the drive. What if the black figure followed me? As I pulled out of town, that barn owl landed on my hood. I sped up, thinking it would fly off, but it didn't. It just held on, staring at me. I drove even faster, hoping it would take off. The owl stayed on my hood, almost like it was glued. I was terrified when I watched the owl transform into the black figure from the night before. I slammed my brakes, and it flew off my hood onto the pavement. I checked in the back seat to make sure Eli was ok. He was still fast asleep. I could still see the figure lying in front of me. I closed my eyes in hopes that maybe it would vanish. When I opened my eyes, the black figure was gone but in its place was a man. I slowly opened my door, wondering if I should risk getting out. I gradually stepped out of the car when I heard a familiar voice coming from the man.

“Ensley, it's me!”

“Jack?”

I was hesitant as I made my way to him. It could have been another mind trick. He lifted his head and looked in my direction, and I felt a wave of joy come over me. It's jack! It was my Jack! I ran the rest of the way. I got on the ground next to him.

“Jack, is it you? Please, please tell me it's not my imagination!”

“I'm real; I promise, my love.”

I wrapped my arms around him in a yearning embrace.

“Jack, how is this possible? I thought you were dead!

“Help me to the car, and I'll explain everything, my love.”

I helped Jack up and got him in the car. I ran around and got in my seat. I caressed his face with my hands and pulled him closer to me. I was scared to let go for fear that he would disappear just like the owl.

“Jack, please tell me you're here to stay. I can't take losing you again.”

“I hope I can, Ensley! I think the chemical compound has completely worn off. I can't say for sure, but I'm starting to feel like my normal self.”

“Jack, what do you mean by chemical compound? I thought you perished in the explosion?”

“No, I got out right before my lab exploded. Only I wasn't myself. It wasn't until later I discovered I had changed and kept changing. The compound Robert secretly poured into my drink didn't kill me like he thought it would! It changed my DNA, and I still can explain it myself, but I turned into a barn owl right after I drank it.”

“I can't believe you were the owl and the black figure. I was starting to think I belonged in an insane asylum.”

“I'm so sorry, Ensey. It was never my intention to scare you. I just knew I needed to be near you and Eli. Watching you go through all that pain shattered my heart.”

“None of that matters were together now. And what do you mean Robert tried to kill you? I thought you two were best friends.”

“Yes, he did try to kill me. I can prove it. I hid cameras in our lab, and the video sent to my email will show everything. I know he was trying to steal my groundbreaking discoveries to claim as his own.”

“I can't believe this! But wait, if Robert only poured the compound in your drink, how did the explosion happen?”

“The explosion was my fault. When I changed into the barn owl, my lab coat landed on a lit bunsen burner, causing a fire that spread the blaze to flammable chemicals, and boom, my lab exploded.”

“I'm so glad you got out before the explosion. Should we tell the police about Robert?”

“I don't think we can, Ensley. They wouldn't understand why I turned into an owl. I thought of a better idea! I'm just going to need a few things first.”

Jack explained he needed a laptop, flash drive, and an envelope. Once we had everything, he copied the video from the lab onto the flash drive and put it in the envelope. He then wrote out an anonymous note to go with the flash drive. The note simply stated, We know what you did. Leave the Berkson family alone; if you don't, we will share the video with Genetic Co and the police.

We put the envelope in Roberts's mailbox and headed out of town. I didn't know how I would explain Jack to my mom or if she would even understand. The only thing I cared about now was our family being back together. Nothing would separate us again. We were forever the lucky ones.