The cry of my angels

Walking into the icy water where the car had entered, I imagine I can hear them calling to me. The temperature takes my breath away momentarily and a gasp escapes my pale lips, devoid of their signature red lipstick. I can’t remember when I last twisted the tube to reveal the blood red contents, and carefully applied to my lips, keeping a steady hand to avoid a smudge impossible to wipe away.

There are several things I can’t remember, what was the last meal I had, and when was this? A glance to my skeletal arms proves self care is something other women think about, not me. My skin, with a grey hue as though I am a walking corpse, again another accurate description. My heart has stopped beating after all, my body is a shell, an empty vessel. I am nothing, I am no one, a mere ghost.

Waves lap around my ankles, I concentrate to walk, glancing down as the sun twinkles over the dancing miniature ripples across its great expanse. Diamonds scatter across my vision causing me to screw my eyes part closed against the glare. Turning away, what appear to be shadows, human shaped shadows are moving amongst the emerald green foliage on the banks. Stopping I close my eyes to better concentrate on the noises and focus my attention, alas there is nothing but the lapping of the waves.

My pace increases the tug of the water a force in its own right. My trousers now sodden from the knee down are heavy, and my hand brushes the tops of the ridges in the water, as though caressing a loved ones hand tenderly.

“Mummy, I’m scared. Mummy where are you?”

“I’m right here my darling, mummy is coming,” I respond to the wind.

How had they dragged me clear and left my babies? Using my hands to drive through the water now, no longer caressing. A frantic look in my eyes thinking of Joel, the youngest, he is scared of the dark. Missy, his sister wrapped her arms around him at seven she is an old soul loving nothing more than playing with her babies and making them tea. Practice for when she is married with children of her own. Children she, nor I will ever know, a marriage I will never cry at the sight of seeing my beautiful daughter in her dress. Looking at me with uncertainty and for approval, is she is doing the right thing?

Joel will not feel nerves and not need to combat them to ask a pretty girl to the prom, for he will forever be five. Frozen in time as he was on the day I became a zombie. The walking dead, waiting for my moment to join them. This is the very moment, today. Waves now lap around my chest as I walk, swim and stumble closer to where they are.

The drunk driver who ran me off the road will no doubt drink himself into oblivion to forget. I’m not so fortunate that I can ever forget their cries as we plunged into the sea from the coast road.

“Mummy is coming my darlings,” I say. Tears flow down my cheeks as the waves lap around me.

“I love you mummy,” Missy’s voice tells me and a sob catches in my throat.

“Mummy, me want to snuggle mummy, can we snuggle now?” Joel asks me.

“Yes, let’s snuggle, let’s all snuggle now.”

Water pours into my mouth as I say the words, and I struggle to stop my tired, aching body fight the inevitable.

“We knew you would come, I told Joel you would. Knowing you were coming stopped him crying mummy.”

Had there been any doubt in my mind these words seal my fate as I allow the sea to take me to my babies. So I may hold them and soothe them again. The pain burns, my chest is on fire, my body is fighting. A hand grasps at my leg, then another, and more, so many hands all pulling me deeper, and deeper. Missy comes to me first, her hand trails behind, and through the gloom of the deep water I see Joel’s angelic face. It is over I am home.

I hope you enjoyed reading my short story and will subscribe to read others. My debut series The Order is coming soon, with the first book FamiLIES coming out this year. If you like my stories please click on the heart. Thank you so much for taking the time to support me. SJ