The Consequence of Silence, part four

With that, they both moved in the opposite direction of the other swiftly. Todd was blushing bright red, but he was hiding it being busy with all the prep for the pasta.

"I'm going to the bathroom to find a band aid now." He said too loudly, feeling completely out of sorts.

Todd didn't look at him as he said, "Okay, I'll be finishing up dinner."

Bojack was sweating. 'Shit, this kid is going to kill me. He's in his twenties and I'm... not. There is no way he'd want me. I'm a loser. Who is a loud mouthed fool. I'm a stupid piece of shit.' He kept thinking in that same vein of self hatred.

"Bojack, are you okay?" He heard a knock. "You've been in there for twenty minutes."

"I'm... okay."

"Not convinced. Open. I'm coming in."

"No, you're not. I'm having explosive diarrhea."

Todd didn't say anything.

"I'll be out soon. Go away."

Todd sighed. "Dinner is almost ready. Like ten minutes. Will you hurry up? You're starting to make me lose my appetite."

"Whatever."

Bojack got a band aid out of the medicine cabinet and put it on his finger, finally opening the door. He thought about how pathetic he was to be in the bathroom hiding for so long.

"Hey, are you alright? Cause we can always eat later."

"I'm starving. Hope you made enough." He realized it smelled incredibly amazing and aromatic. "It smells like heaven in here."

Todd chuckled lowly. "I made a lot."

"I'm going to open that wine. For you."

Todd grinned. "Is it red or white?"

"It's white."

"Okay, good. I like white wine more than red."

"It was sixty two dollars, Todd, so you better like it."

"You're charming as hell to bring up the price of something. So amazing how sweet you are when you try."

"I get by mainly on my looks. Charm is the icing on the cake."

Todd rolled his eyes, getting out plates and chopping up fresh parsley. He plated the hot pasta carefully on each plate. Then, evenly on top of the dish, he sprinkled a small amount of the chopped parsley with it and finally, a light sprinkle of red pepper flakes.

Bojack poured out a healthy amount of the wine in a crystal wine glass while watching Todd plate up the delicious smelling food.

"What are you drinking?" Todd asked.

"Umm, ginger ale."

"Good."

"What are you, my mother?"

"Nooo. Luke, I am your father!"

Bojack rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Nerd."

He took the plates to the kitchen table. "Okay, dinner is served. I hope you like it."

Bojack gave Todd his drink, and as he was about to sit down to eat, he saw Todd look at him expectantly and started a toast.

"To your health and mine. Cheers!" Todd said cheerfully, and they clinked their glasses together in a common spirit.

"Cheers." Bojack repeated, feeling like he was finally in a sort of family. He felt like this moment was what he missed his entire life. This common feeling of togetherness.

With that first bite of Todd's pasta, he literally felt transported to another world. In another time.

He pictured him and Todd as an old married couple who were having a second honeymoon in Naples. They go to a hole in the wall restaurant and they order pasta.

"Todd, darling, this reminds me of when you made me that homemade pasta dish that first time. Remember how fucking good that was? God, it gave me an orgasm."

And then, Todd kissed him without warning. Like full on, make out, French kissing. They stop as they eat more of their dinner, and look at each other fondly.

"My darling Bojack, though orgasms still seem like a tiring and foreign concept to me, I enjoy your pleasure."

"Can we fuck one day, Todd?"

"Only in your dreams, my love."

He was abruptly knocked out of his reverie to find that his daydreaming was actually rude as hell since Todd had apparently asked him a question.

"What is it, my dar—-Todd?"

Todd sighed. "Do you like it?"

"Oh God. Really? I'm going to smash this shit. In fact, it's so good I'm gonna eat you after it's gone to taste it again."

Todd covered his face and looked red.

"What.. what the fuck did you just say?" Todd said with a bit of humor, but mostly, confusion. "You're crazy."

"You got that right."

Bojack kept eating and didn't stop, not even when Todd gave him a disgusted look.

"Bojack, can I ask you one question. Please. No more jokes."

"Can I have more first?"

Todd sighed heavily. "Yes. I'll get it for you."

"Oh thanks bud."

He brought back a steaming second helping to the table.

"Thank you." He started eating again immediately, but realized how shitty of a conversation they weren't having, and stopped.

"What's your question, Todd? I'm sorry, I'm being super rude."

"Oh, umm, never mind. It's okay."

"No, it's not, I'm an ass. Seriously, what is it?"

Todd shuffled around in his chair and sighed.

"Do you like me?"

Bojack almost choked on the pasta.

Todd looked at him directly, waiting. "Do you?" He repeated.

"Why are you asking me that?" Bojack rubbed his eyes nervously.

"Well, if we're being honest here, I'd call all of this effort into seeing me so much something. It's kinda obvious, yet I still want to know."

Bojack swallowed whatever was in his mouth and then thought for a moment how to respond.

Honestly, or not, he had to say something soon.

"Yes. I do." He felt so scared but immediately free finally saying it. "I love this fucking pasta, and I freaking like you. You are perfect to me. You are everything I ever wanted, but I've pushed you away more than a lot of people, because I'm dense, stubborn, and oblivious. I am so fucking scared right now but I can't breathe and I am going to literally drive myself crazy just sitting here, doing nothing. But I do like you, a lot. I really do. And it's killing me."

Todd scooted back in his chair and looked like he was thinking deeply.

Bojack took another bite, albeit nervously. "So, if you want to leave, like, if I made you super uncomfortable just now, I understand." But he was praying so hard that Todd would never leave again.

Todd frowned. "I need to think."

Bojack nodded but felt heartbroken.

"Okay. I can drive you home."

"I'm going to walk."

"It was a really, really great time, other than that stupid outburst I just made. Right?" Bojack blurted out as Todd got up to leave.

Todd half smiled, but then looked down. "Yeah, bro. It was just... Good night."

As he heard the front door close, he slammed the table and then started to cry in an angry way. "God Damn HIM. I hate him."

"I hate him so much. What a bunch of bullshit. I tell him the truth and he leaves. He'll never talk to me again now! Stupid. I should've lied, now I'll never have pasta again."

"But I don't hate him." Bojack softly said, clenching his fist and still crying.

"I'm fucking falling in love with him." And with that, he proceeded to finish the rest of all of the food Todd made, shoveling it down his throat as almost a punishment.

He fell asleep in the living room on the couch, his eyes red from crying and his heart feeling weary.

The next morning he saw he had one text on his phone.

I need to talk to you. Please let me know when you can.

Bojack grimaced. 'Yeah, to tell me I'm an old fool who could never be loved by you.'

He wasted a couple of hours doing nothing but moping about and heard a ding on his phone.

What the hell is going on, Bojack? Todd's a flipping mess over here. What did you do?

Bojack almost felt bad but then he was also a mess over where he was at, too. Princess Carolyn lived with him, so it's obvious she would notice any change in Todd's everlasting cheerful demeanor.

I didn't do anything to Todd. Just let me handle it. Thanks!

He didn't do anything to handle it though.

—

About a week after the last time they saw each other in person, Bojack was pushing forward his start date so much it made the Dean call him to ask if there was anything wrong.

He made up some excuses about his property and he was getting all of his financial affairs settled, and he realized that he wasn't ready to move yet.

Todd had texted him a couple times, and because of his pride and his conflicted feelings, he didn't respond. Todd also called him, and then after awhile, he stopped trying at all.

So, he texted Todd, finally.

Todd, I'm sorry. About everything. You can still stay at the house, if you ever need to. I'm going to say that the times we shared together over the last couple of weeks, and in general, it was the best time I ever had with anyone... I wanted it to never end. I'm moving soon to Connecticut. I hope you are well. Keys are in mailbox.

He hated his message. It wasn't even what he really felt. But he saw no response, and started packing his bags. He bought the ticket, and left the next day. He had beforehand, found a studio to rent and commuted by bus or riding his bike everyday to work.

As he started his position, that following week, he broke in the students with jokes and inside info about the TV business, executives and how he hated them, and just, in general, double entendres and lame examples of puns. He broke into a deeper relationship with his students with more collaborations and more introspective curriculum for acting, and it made him feel fulfilled.

He thought about how it was really crazy how he started his career as an actor in Horsin' Around, to Secretariat, to Philbert—- and now a professional drama teacher at a university.

He was taking it rather seriously at first, and worked especially hard to keep up at the job. He didn't do anything out of the norm.

But for awhile, anytime he thought about Todd, he found something that he could do that was productive and almost too busybody. He'd constantly daydream of him, and it traveled at night into his regular dreams. It wasn't anything specific. Just being with him, laughing with him, and a couple of times, he did imagine kissing Todd. How it would it feel, and how much tongue there would be, and how he just wanted to see that perfect, soft smile again. He'd try to replace Todd in the fantasy with a woman he had just met, or someone he already been with sexually in the past, but, his heart kept making him see only Todd.

So, to distract himself from his own feelings, he'd volunteer at a homeless shelter. He started drawing pictures of everyday objects into abstract art. He hated it, but he also somehow loved it. He hated that it reminded him of Todd, but it made him feel better too, somehow. He realized with a very strong irony that everything he was doing was Todd's advice.

He also used the planner Todd got him since day one of his job, and the calendar, and he realized just how practical they were, and how professional the actual paper and pen was. It made him feel like a real professional teacher, and he loved using the memo pad too, for everything. He would use it to remind himself of his day, notes on students, grades and brief to do lists, all written by his favorite pen. Very useful, he concluded. And Todd helped him feel that way.

Well, he had to keep something of Todd's, other than that art book he gave him that he looked at all the time.

It was all going just swell being well into the first month of his post until he got a text unexpectedly during class one day.

Bojack, I really, really need to talk to you. I know you're in Connecticut, but is there any way we can see each other? Please respond.

Something so simple made his heart sting.

He decided he would text back to see where it all went. He was definitely missing him the entire time, he was just so busy and productive it stung less than if he had been doing nothing.

Okay. When?

He waited and immediately Todd responded.

When are you free?

Bojack felt hot all over. 'Damn him. I just started to get my life on track and here he is. Fucking me up.'

But he knew he really wanted to see Todd, because he missed him terribly, and to him, something had been missing. And, he was the one who started this whole thing trying to get together and not so subtly tell him how he felt, especially the second time.

What about this weekend, Todd?

Yeah, that's good with me. Let me know when you get here.

He bought the ticket for Saturday and had an Uber drive him to his house first. He had his own keys and went and checked the mailbox, and there was nothing in it.

He shrugged and went inside to an impeccable house. It looked better than how he left it. The mail was sorted and postmarked on the counter. Everything was clean. Even the floors seemed shiny. He knew it was all Todd, and it made me him feel pretty glad Todd was the one he entrusted his house to. He looked through all the mail, and tossed the mortgage bill he had already paid online. He got his car from the garage and once he saw everything was fine on the outside, he locked up and left.

Bojack drove quickly to Princess Carolyn's place and texted Todd that he was here.

To his surprise, it wasn't Todd who came out.

"Oh, hey, Princess Carolyn!" He started saying loudly, opening his passenger side window so she could hear him.

"Hey. So," she walked toward Bojack's car, leaning in closer so they could talk. "Todd is coming out in a minute."

"That's good, I have nothing but time until Monday. Missed ya." Bojack said softly.

"Me too, Bojack. How's everything?"

"Good. I just came back to visit. How're you?"

"Good. Got a lot of things in the works. That show that I tried to pitch you but you barely heard me out for, well, Mr. Peanutbutter is actually going to be in it. Other than Birthday Dad, he's the star in this show too, and it's going to be in the works for production and shooting soon."

"So happy for him." He rolled his eyes.

"Hey, you had the first pick, from me, anyway." She sighed and leaned against the car door. "So, how's your job?"

"Actually, it's really fantastic. It took a few weeks to get into the swing of university life, and getting adjusted to campus policies and rules, but I really enjoy what I do now."

She looked at him with a keen gaze, and poked her head in a bit more towards the open window. "I just want to know something. You don't owe me squat, and by all accounts, your life in Connecticut sounds great, so as your friend I'm happy for you. But I have to understand why you're putting yourself and.. Todd through this. What exactly is going on?"

Bojack groaned. "There is noth-"

"Bull. Just tell me. Todd hasn't said a word. But I read him like a book. There's something very odd going on. He's been acting morose for the longest time, ever since you left. And to be fair, you didn't actually say a proper goodbye, either. He just acts like himself with a lot less pep."

"I can't." Bojack shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like hearing how awful it's been for Todd. It made him feel guilty as hell.

"Sure you can. I'm here to listen."

He leaned closer. "Well... You want to hear a secret?"

"Yes."

"Closer." He motioned for her to come further in the car.

She almost put her head in and he honked the horn hard.

"Aghhh! Damn you!" She hissed and quickly jumped outside and covered her ears, flipping him off as she went inside. "Stay in Connecticut, asshole!"

Bojack felt oddly satisfied. It wasn't her goddamn business.

But, still, he felt a little bad.

He laughed anyway.

Todd came out within one minute after she went inside, looking dapper, but his face looked tired and stressed.

Todd got in the car without much to say, and Bojack just started driving without a plan in place.

"Hey, Bojack. Thanks for coming out here so quickly." Todd said finally as they were out of the neighborhood.

"It was no problem; where do you want to go?"

"I don't care. I'm okay with anything."

Bojack looked him worriedly. "Are you alright? You look like you haven't slept in days."

Todd shrugged.

"Let's go to the house, if that's okay." He kept looking very concerned at Todd, and though he actually was dressed very well, he looked disheveled and exhausted.

"Sure."

"Todd, I actually have to thank you. You left my house looking so great. You definitely did an amazing job with everything."

Todd looked at him and smiled. "Least I could do, man."

"You want me to pick you up something? Like, a coffee or a sandwich?" He felt like a nagging mother, but he for some reason felt really worried about Todd.

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

"That sounds nice. Thanks." He leaned back in his seat and started to doze off.

As Todd rested, he left the car running with the air conditioner on for his comfort, going to a cafe to order him a basic chicken club with avocado sandwich and a large mocha frappe with extra whipped cream.

"I think Todd likes sweet stuff," he said inadvertently toward the cashier.

"Ohh, that's so nice to get him something he would enjoy!" The perky dolphin lady cashier beamed.

"As opposed to getting him something he'd hate?" His sarcasm was so thick he almost choked on it.

"Of course! You must care about your friend!"

"Shit, I must."

"Here," she gave him something in a bag.

"What's that? Drugs?"

The cashier's giggle was so high pitched that his ears hurt and were ringing for a few minutes afterward. "No, silly! A brownie for your Todd!"

"Oh, thank you. Sorry about that."

He paid, thankful for that exchange to be over and brought it in the car.

Todd shuffled awake and rubbed his eyes. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay, sleepy head. I got you some good stuff here."

He handed Todd the sandwich, brownie and frappe.

"Nice! Man, thanks Bojack!"

"I mean, the brownie was from this weird cashier. She just gave it to me. So be careful. She was a wild one."

Todd laughed. "Wow, weird. You think she put pot in it? Hah. I'm just out of it. Sorry."

"Okay, no problem. Just eat."

"Not in your car?"

"Fuck man, I've done worse in this shit-hole car. I don't care if there's crumbs. Just eat."

Todd nodded, satisfied with the response.

"Ahh, this drink is so good. How'd you know?"

"Just a hunch."

Bojack couldn't help but grin ear to ear at the small happiness he brought to him for that second.

They reached his house and Todd had finished the sandwich and the brownie, and most of the drink, looking much more awake and instead of looking ragged and colorless, he had gone back to his regular color and stance.

Unceremoniously, they went inside.

"Hey, go ahead and chill. I'll be there in a minute," Bojack said quickly, and Todd nodded, throwing away his garbage in the kitchen bin.

He went to his room and locked the door. He felt really good and incredibly scared, similarly, he wanted to vomit and also do a tap dance.

"Fuck it. I really am in love with a guy. A person." He corrected, talking quietly to himself. "Todd is the best kind of unassuming, adorably minded, most selfless person there is. He's lazy yet he's unpretentious. He's someone I'd like to be with forever." He kept trying to condense all of his feelings in one sentence, but he couldn't even begin to start the conversation.

He took in a shuddering breath, ready for anything.

"Hey, so, uh, Todd, you want to talk?" He hated how nervous he sounded as he walked out of his room.

"Yeah. Can we both sit down?"

Bojack nodded and they both went to the living room and sat on the couch, with plenty of space between them.

"You want me to start?"

Todd looked grateful. "I'm fine with that. Thanks again for the food. This drink is... oh God, so good." Todd closed his eyes and grinned.

Bojack inched slightly closer toward the other. Todd noticed it but didn't move away.

Bojack shrugged. "Thought you might like it."

"Well, you got me pegged."

They were quiet for a moment, and Bojack sighed. "Todd, if you want me to talk first I will, and you know I have no issue speaking until everyone's ears bleed. I love the sound of my voice." Bojack quipped, and Todd chuckled a bit with a knowing nod.

"But, before I start... I'd rather listen to you." He didn't finish that he really wanted to know what Todd had to say. He knew that his admission of, affection, or of his crush on Todd was the cat out of the bag and it was hiding, but, he had no idea where the cat would land once it wanted to be found.

Todd looked like he was nervous, and leaned backward a bit, looking at his feet. "I want to listen to you, first."

Bojack tried to not roll his eyes, and nodded with a bit of hesitation.

"Okay, Todd," he rubbed nose and eyes, scratching his ear. "First, I am so tired of pretending that this, this thing I feel is nothing. I pretended when we went out together, at the art museum, when you made that amazing pasta, all of that. In Connecticut, at my job, everywhere."

Todd looked at him directly in the eyes and looked curious, yet guarded.

"If you take a look at me, I'm not much to look at. I was a has been 90s television actor who didn't think anything good would ever come out of my career, like ever again. I'm a womanizing fiend and an alcoholic who couldn't stop being a serious asshole to everyone and especially to the people that were closest to me." Bojack sighed. "I don't want to simplify our relationship by just saying that I was a jerk. I was an irrevocable and irredeemable, intolerant fool who pushed away everyone decent and kind, mainly, you. I pushed away Princess Carolyn, Gina, Wanda, Diane, Herb. I don't think that I can really appreciate just how bad I fucked up, individually, in a horribly special way for each one of them. You were someone I really disregarded. You tried so many times to be my friend. You were there and I really, really appreciate that. But let's face it, I don't deserve any chances from you. I messed up your rock opera. I'll never forgive myself, and the reason I did that bit of sabotage was, and I know this doesn't excuse it, but, because I realized how close I was to losing you forever, I lost it. It scared me more than I ever let myself feel. And then with, with Emily."

Todd sort of sunk deeper into the couch and sighed. "It wasn't okay what you did, being with Emily like that, and I still feel a bit raw at you for that, honestly. It was hurtful and a shitty thing to do. Especially my rock opera, and that time you left me in prison. But, Emily and I weren't meant to be. She told me I was the best boyfriend she ever had. Sans sex. And that was the dealbreaker for her."

Bojack bit his lip and looked down a bit nervously. "Todd, I... There is nothing I can possibly say to make up for these shitty things I did to you. That was so cruel to leave you in prison like that, and I was a terrible friend, if you could even call me that. I am so sorry. And though I regretted it before... God, now that I opened my eyes and saw you for who you truly were, and really gotten to know you, even seen we have somewhat of similar interests and can have such a great time together, I feel... it hurts that I hurt you. I want to make it up. I want to correct these crappy things I did to you. I really care about you, Todd. I hope that you'll see me for who I am now."

"I forgave you, already. Though, by forgiving you, there was an unintended consequence. I didn't have contact with you anymore, and we stopped even acting like friends. It was not necessarily what I wanted, but it just kinda happened. I guess, I didn't want to be hurt anymore. What I don't understand is why you were trying so hard with me, to reconcile everything, when there are other people who were so much closer to you, like an ex girlfriend you can try to rebuild a life with." He sighed, "And also, why didn't you try to talk to me all this time?"

Bojack was a bit taken aback by the first question. The second hit him worse, however, and he rubbed his temples and leaned back, trying to piece his thoughts together into a coherent and careful speech. A truth filled speech.

"You lived with me for over five years. We have a fuckin' history together, almost like a mini marriage without the I Do's. In retrospect, you've been in my life longer than anyone else has. You put up with me and my bullshit more intimately than anyone else. Even a girlfriend." He realized how honest he was being and saw Todd staring at him directly with a somber expression. He continued. "I needed you more than I ever realized during these last ten years and I let myself pretend for a long time that you were nothing to me. But, when you were in that improv cult thing, I realized you were more than someone who had no where to go, who just happened to stay at my house. I was actually really worried about you, for your well-being, and I missed you. I meant it then on the boat. You are my best friend. And yet, it still isn't enough to me. But it's like, I fucking lov—-I really... I can't think of anyone else in my life that is so perfectly untouched by cruelty. You are the most beautiful person, and I hate myself for ignoring that. I have been thinking of how to express how I feel about you. It's layered to something I cannot understand. It's been a slow start but now that I'm caught up, it's all at once, and I can't breathe. I'm not lost when I'm around you. I feel at home. That's why. And, fucking hash browns, Todd. Why did I eat so many? Cause you made them for me."

Todd inched closer now, his eyes looked glazed over and his pupils were bigger, and it felt like he had been transported into Todd's very soul.

It made him feel dizzy and wonderful, but Bojack sort of moved away and felt self conscious. Remembering the second question, he cleared his throat, "But, I'm a coward. I avoid serious problems that are screaming at me, that are rammed right in front of my face, and I let them cover me like some fucking malignant ooze until I'm so sad and angry and tired that I collapse in it. But the fact is, is that It's my fault. I wanted... I wanted so badly to text you. To call you. I thought about you all the time, and to overcompensate for the fact that... that I missed you, I did things that reminded me of you, instead of just calling you. I was a fuckin' coward. I can't handle the truth."

"What's the truth?"

"Huh?" Bojack felt something like bile rise to his throat. "About what?"

"About me. This isn't some simple shit. It isn't as obvious as our friendship gone sour and you wanted to hang out to settle old scores. You, you were just acting so off that day when we had the pasta. So weird. You looked so nervous and you definitely acted like it. So, Bojack, what's the truth? You told me that you liked me that day." He stopped talking and gave him a pensive look.

"You're special to me. Like I said, you feel like home. I can't explain it." Bojack smiled unconvincingly. Todd rolled his eyes, but shrugged.

"So, just to clarify, it's, like a brother thing. You're like family. And I'm family to you."

Bojack laughed with a nervous chuckle. "Oh, shit Todd, really? I know I'm shitty at explaining things sometimes. Just not that bad."

Todd looked apprehensive and frowned. "Bojack, I'm not stupid, okay, I know you had been giving me compliments. Even unintentionally or accidentally. You almost said my new hat was cute at our first lunch thing, don't think I'm that oblivious. You went out of your way to get me food when I was exhausted today, and when I asked you to come out here on a moment's notice, you did it without question. I haven't had much sleep the last two or three nights. Lots of crazy dreams and I end up not sleeping at all." He paused and leaned forward and rested his head in one of his hands. Bojack was feeling his face heat up uncomfortably at Todd speech.

"We even had that really, um, nice thing together in the kitchen that one time. I need," Todd started earnestly, turning toward the other and quietly looked at Bojack, taking his hands in his. "I need to know if this isn't a bunch of bullshit. I need to see the truth of you and I, not buffed up by flattery and something weak that won't last. I didn't know what the hell you were doing and why you were trying so hard. But I wasn't afraid of what you said."

Bojack gently held onto Todd's hands, not letting go. They both inched even closer.

"I can't lie, Todd. I really like you. A lot." Bojack whispered. "And it's not a brother thing."

"My heart is fucking pounding right now." Todd whispered back, the color drained from his face.

"So is mine."

Suddenly, by someone's physical strength, they pulled toward each other, and were laying side by side on the couch. Bojack was pressing tightly against him and breathed in Todd's neck, making him shudder.

"God damnit, Todd, you smell so fucking good."

"That sounds better than you telling me to clean up my shit."

"No, actually, if you brought your shit here, or in Connecticut, I wouldn't care where you put it."

Todd look shocked, but a bit bemused. "Are you asking me to move in with you? You're not talking about Connecticut, are you?"

"Um, yes. Maybe eventually." Bojack says decidedly. He got out of their smothering embrace and Todd looked very red in the face.

"But, what are we? What's the point of me coming with you?"

Bojack breathed in slowly. "I wanted to ask you the same thing. What do you want?"

"Tell me your answer first."

"Damn, you are a bossy boyfriend."

Todd's eyes widened. "Boyfriend?"

"That's my answer, idiot. I want to be your, uh, boyfriend. I just don't know if that's so far off base from what you want, or if I somehow just misunderstood that cuddle we just had together, or if I'm being an idiot."

"Yo-you're straight." Todd said with the most surprised expression.

"Fuck, Todd, I basically just did one of the gayest things I ever did on my own accord, and you tell me I'm straight. I just smelled your neck, for Christ's sake. You always say labels aren't important. I feel like I'm the only one emoting here. I practically gave you my soul on a silver platter. You know, and I need more than just a couple of crumbs."

"Okay, Bojack. Come here, I'll give you my answer." He grabbed Bojack's hand and pulled him forcefully toward his own face.

They breathed in at the same time and Todd closed the gap between their faces, gently but firmly landing a kiss on Bojack's nose.

They moved away and they both laughed at Todd's clumsy miscalculated kiss.

They tumbled toward the ground laughing and without missing a beat, Bojack kissed him on the lips, firmly and he unloaded all of his feelings, passion and truth and just tried to show them to him in that kiss.

They kissed sensually, gently and for what seemed like forever.

"Bo-Bojack?" He said breathlessly, as Bojack was caressing his hair and relentlessly kissing Todd over and over.

"You are so gorgeous, Todd."

Todd blushed and smiled. They kissed with a bit of tongue and Todd shook his head.

"He-hey... Bojack, please... can we stop for a moment?"

Bojack was so happy, but realized Todd was trying to tell him something. "Yeah." He was sort of out of breath. "Sure, what's up?"

They were still in very close proximity and they felt hot, but didn't move away.

"How is this going to work?"

Bojack almost immediately understood what he meant. "You mean, like, the fact that I'm a sexual person and you're not?"

Todd looked relieved. "Yes. Exactly."

Bojack sighed and looked thoughtful.

"I mean, I don't know why, but I am kinda feeling... things." Todd said almost ashamed, and looked down. "But I don't know what it is. I can't even imagine sex with anyone. It's like, so foreign of a concept to me and I just don't have an interest. But, I never... never had someone kiss me that way."

Bojack grinned. "It's called fucking passion. I got that for you."

Todd blushed deeply, "Yeah, but, I just never thought in a billion years, you'd be the one that would show me it."

"Emily didn't kiss you that way?"

"No."

"Fuck man, that's the only way you deserve to be kissed."

Todd cracked a huge smile. "Now you are charming me."