The Comeback

THE COMEBACK

It was that time of night again. 19.00 hours, and its evening rounds, and there we all were, stood at the end of our beds in our night-rig of short sleeved white shirts with a sharp crease down each sleeve. Black trousers being held up with a belt which had a highly polished brass buckle and shiny shoes to match. Even if I do say so myself, I reckon this basic training seems to be agreeing with all of us as we were beginning to look like a fine body of men.

Like Geraldine; Alice the Goon, Sexy Susan, and Mavis. Who were proudly stood amongst the rest of us like Scouse La La; Tweetie Pie, Ethnic, Strawberry, Yeti Hunter, Colostomy Bag, Loudmouth, The Riddler, Lawnmower Man, Dangerous Brian, Ma Ma, Gurkah, Bleeder, Dr Bruce Banner, Chief Ramalamb, and not forgetting myself, Grandad, and it wasn`t to be much longer before we were already to take our place in serving in the British Royal Navy. The finest navy in the world.

Usually, about this time, there would be mumblings amongst us questioning who was going to be the inspecting officer, but on this particular evening, we already knew who it was, and it didn`t exactly fill us with any hope for a quick, and possibly relaxed inspection as we were the Division of Pellew 19`s, and the Chief Petty Officer of Pellew 20`s, was on his way to inspect us.

It wasn`t just the fact that he didn`t like us, it was just he couldn`t keep that fact to himself as he would often remark around the block, and usually in a not friendly or polite tone about how his lads were so much better than us. Wonder if he ever found out how we beat them in the mass rumble that we had just a couple of nights previously?

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Anyway, no time to wonder anymore about that now, as the doors are flung open, and we hear the familiar call of.

Mess Ho! We brought us all instantly to attention.

Which was soon followed the shrill of the Bosuns Call, as the duty lad piped the still then lead Chief Petty Officer who proudly marches in, and it came as no surprise to us that he first words were once again to tell us what an absolute shower we were and how we were no good to anybody. He even felt somewhat insulted that he had to waste his precious time on inspecting us as he already knew that we wouldn`t be up to the high standards of his lads. We just stood there and took it, as we expected it. We just let him have his rant and let him insult us as we all knew that it would probably be the quickest way in getting rid of him and then we can all go for a smoke.

The abuse, continued to unashamedly flow and flow directly at us as we all just kept taking it all on our chins whilst tucked away, in his own secluded corner of our messdeck who, just like the rest of us, kept taking the abuse like a man, was, a young man who I was not only proud to go through basic training with, but also was proud enough to tell people that I served alongside him on our first ship. The Japanese Tree Sniper. It may have sounded a touch harsh, but the name did suit him almost perfectly.

As his waif-like frame that only reached about five-foot-four. His short, and dead straight jet-black hair but, his most redeeming feature, was undoubtedly his extra thick lensed glasses held by a thick black frame which gave his eyes a permanent slanted look. All he needed was a Rising Sun headband and possibly even a Samurai Sword, and he would have fitted in very suitably amongst the ranks of the Japanese Army.

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In his secluded corner, placed on the wall directly in his line of sight, was a Submarine Poster. Nothing at all special about it, just said what class of submarines are used today and how big they are and all that sort of thing. The truth is nobody really knew why or even who put it there.

This caught the eye of the Chief Petty Officer who, suddenly comes up with an idea. He unexpectedly shouts across the messdeck at the Japanese Sniper and after addressing him by his name and rank then ask, “are you reading that poster that`s right in front of you?”

To this day, I think that it`s fair to say that none of us could think of my he would ask him such a question as, if memory serves me correctly, the only one of Pellow 19`s who was considering a career as a Submariner, was Mavis. But still, the way that the question was phrased, the answer had to be either, “Yes Chief Petty Officer” or even, “Yes Chief” would have sufficed.

Instead, though, the Japanese Sniper`s was very direct, and straight to the point as he replied, “No.”

Not, “No Chief Petty Officer”, or even “No Chief.” It was just a pure and simple, “No.”

Well of course, that done it. If he didn`t like us much beforehand, he really hated us now especially the Japanese Sniper as his rage and insults then spat across our messdeck like a General-Purpose Machine Gun firing at the enemy while we all stood there, deep-down, cursing the Japanese Sniper as now we all had visions along the lines of us running around the Parade Ground of H.M.S. Raleigh at around midnight in our smart looking white shirts and black trousers for at least two hours followed by scrubbing out all our showers. And we all had to be up at six, as all the while the Japanese Sniper just stood quietly there. Seemingly, totally unmoved by any of this as then with his last gasp of breath the Chief Petty Officer asks. “Why aren`t you, reading that poster?”

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The answer, literally, was so off-the-cuff that it caught everyone including the Chief Petty Officer, totally by surprise as the Japanese Sniper ever so calmly says, “because I`ve read it twice already.”

This, was almost, twenty years ago, but I can still hear the howls of laughter from all the lads of Pellew 19`s as the Chief Petty Officer could only do the right and some might say, honourable thing, to concede defeat, as with a smile and a laugh of acceptance he then leaves us alone as shortly afterwards we all went for that smoke. And as we gathered in the smoking area, still surrounded with laughter, the Japanese Sniper lit up his cigarette knowing only too well, that for tonight at least, he was nothing less than our hero.

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