The Christmas Market
A Hallmark Story for the Vocal+Assist December Prompt
Well, I have been a little elsewhere of late, but I have just slipped in this one for the Vocal+Assist Facebook group December prompt below:
Fat flakes fell in an a swirling ballet, misting the weatherboard frontage beneath already snow-laden gables in gleaming white, pierced in the dimming dusk by the twinkling of golden fairy lights, and the blue of Jake’s pleading eyes. Sarah looked out from the amber glow of her window, the crackling fire bathing her in warm light, the golden star still held in her hand, waiting to take its place atop the tree beside her. At her hip, her daughter watched her pause time, felt her mother’s heart stop a moment, as she spotted those eyes, out there in the cold, searching for hers. A small smile softened the corners of her tired eyes, slight, but unmistakeable, and shin deep in virginal snow, his mouth echoed and amplified hers, perfect teeth flashing amidst the light stubble of a man disarmed by love.
Earlier, at the Christmas fair, they had walked arm in arm, their friendship thawing into something deeper in the warmth of the goodwill enveloping the small town. Terri, who had known them both since Jake was a boy and still had a father, and Sarah was a girl and had not yet dreamt of the city, smiled with sage humour as she handed them the last wish to hang on the tree, telling Mara “Perhaps Jake and Mommy will have to share a wish this year” with a wink that Mara took for her own. They had laughed, and then stopped, eyes locked in a moment of unspoken candour, when Mara, stood beneath the shelter of their two bodies, had written the wish for them.
“I wish for Mom to be happy, like when Jake comes round.”
They had not spoken much, after that, until old Mr Collins had fallen from his ladder, still clinging to the garland of bright lights he had been hanging across the front of the bank. For thirty years, the gaiety of the town’s Christmas colours had been interrupted only by the hard façade of The Collins Bank, but this year, when Zeb Collins had called on Sarah to go through her father’s will, something about that sweet child had softened his heart and Christmas had seeped into the bank, first by way of a little forgiveness, and then by the funding of the surgery for Tom the security guard’s mother. Once he was that far in, Mr Collins had gone the whole hog.
Though he seemed unhurt, Jake was keen to drive the old man to the hospital fifteen miles south, and while Terri took Mara home to make cinnamon cookies, Sarah went with the two men. It had been at the hospital that the fight had happened, after the doctor, tall and improbably handsome, had remembered Jake, had mentioned how he had not seen him since he had signed the papers to turn off the life support for Sarah’s father.
Sarah, grief and guilt still spicing her heart, had not waited to hear more. Her pain had loomed like an ogre and she had fled back to Mara, to gather their things, to return to the city where they knew to trust no one and couldn’t get hurt. But Mara had been sleeping, pink cheeked and long lashed in Terri’s lap, and Terri had stroked the child’s soft hair as she told Sarah of the fishing trips and chess games Jake had shared with her father after she left, and later of the grocery shopping and the pharmacy trips and, eventually, of the carrying to bed, of the night time vigils, of the calling of the doctor, when Sarah still did not return. She told her of the day in the hospital, how Jake had wept as he honoured his friend’s wishes, and how he had retreated into the cabin on the edge of town after the funeral. Of how he had emerged, and started to smile again, when Sarah and Mara came to town. She told her of the goodness of Jake’s heart, and of how she saw that goodness, too, in Sarah, shining in her love for her daughter.
It was late when Mara woke, but Sarah had pulled the decorations from the attic and as it started to snow, she and Mara hung baubles on the tree, each one a memory of Christmases past. And that is when Jake showed up, chiselled and shivering, outside the house. Now they kissed, languid and slow, their whole lives ahead of them as Mara threw snow like confetti into the starlit sky and music swelled in their breasts.
“Cut! And that’s a wrap. Thanks folks, we’ll be resetting for scene 6 in the morning, the market scene. We’ve got to reshoot for the sponsors, they weren’t at all happy with how their products came off, so can we make sure they are front and centre please. And Charlotte, we need to believe you like the wine this time, OK? It makes you happy, Christmassy. The network doesn’t want to see you looking pissy and the advertisers don’t want to see you looking pissy. Pissy doesn’t sell, ok?”
Charlotte stomped back to her trailer. “That wine tastes like shit” she said to Becky in the mirror, the stylist’s deft fingers unpinning her hair. “But the problem is him. If I have to kiss that man one more time I’m going to vomit into his mouth. Eugh”. She shivered despite the California summer heat.
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Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Comments (24)
That's why they call it acting, lol.
Wow, the best I've read all month. Perfect.🧢❤️❤️🌹🤞🏾
I love what you did here Hannah!! You made its sappy and cheesy and then in the blink of an eye you took it away and brought real life back to the tale!! I love the way you have this gift of just flipping a switch and turning the story on its head! Great okra nd congrats on Top Story!
I am so relieved, I was going ugh, Hallmark, ugh lovey lovey. kissy, kissy face. Then I got to the end. Brilliant...yet ugh..now I wanna puke. Congrats.
Ha... I was gullible... totally duped by this story... despite knowing it would have a twist... very tricky!
Yayyyy I'm back to say congratulations on your Top Story!
I must say that this was outstanding Hannah! BRAVO!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Great choice for top story congratulations
love this, glad it made top story and I'm glad I came back to it.
Hahah. this is great. Love the ending.
FFS Hannah...colour me stupid for putting off reading this until now. This was hilarious...cynical and just my cup of tea this time of year. also...another perfect example of how you almost make it effortless...drawing us into a situation...into a scene...in such a short piece...we know enough about the characters to care, even just momentarily about their lives...then you pull the rug out. Bloody brilliant work and congrats on another fine Top Story!
Loved it!!! Congratulations on Top Story!!!❤️❤️💕
Congrats on the top story!
Great ending. Such a magical perfect, romantic build-up so full of hope and harmony, and then wham! I'm taking you out of that into the world of bad wine and crap kisses tasting of vomit. Brilliant! Made me laugh!
That was an unexpected ending. You crafted this so well!
Wow, that a twist!!! This was filming a scene! So good!
Whatttttttt? They were filming? You got me good! I never would have saw that coming, lol. Also, I'd love to see her vomit in his mouth 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Now that is a Hallmark behind the scene I would love to watch. This is perfect in my opinion. Look at you, a budding romance writer in the making.
Oh this is so fun! I loved this twist
Great twist. Well done, Hannah!
Just want to say to anyone reading this, afterwards, go read JBaz's story wish upon the Christmas star afterwards to just restore the faith, please.
Oh. 🤣🤣 Did not see that coming. Sums Christmas up perfectly. ❤️ Glad you are back!
Brilliant! Just bloody perfect! 🤍
Oh, I absolutely love love the twist