The Cave

I sat in the cave, a shiver ran through me even though it was a warm summers night and I was sitting as close to the fire as I could be without my skin blistering. The skin, it always blisters if you sit too close. I felt tears running down my cheeks, my hand automatically touched my chest where the heart shaped locket lay. I closed my eyes, as I felt the heat of the flames against my face, I could hear the crackle and smell the aroma of meat cooking. I opened my eyes again. There was no meat cooking on the fire. I looked down at the locket around my neck and screamed, all the pain, the memories and the horror, I wanted to purge it from my body. I wanted it to exit from my soul with that scream. It didn't. It never did. How could it? I'd wanted to survive and I had, but I had to do awful things to make sure I did.

The virus had killed 80% of the population, not just here, in Britain but the world. Well, that's what we believe, it became hard to know exact numbers once we could no longer access the internet or the TV for news. It didn't end quickly, the world, our world. It was slow to start. A few people here and there mostly in the United States. We shrugged it off, after all we'd lived through Bird Flu, Swine Flu even Covid-19. We lived in a first world country! We had access to medication and hospitals, it would be fine just like all the times before. Except this time it wasn't fine, this time it got the better of us. The problem was the symptoms, or lack of them. People contracted it and didn't know. They walked around, went to work, had nights out lived their normal lives. Then after approximately a year head aches would begin and still no one noticed, it's just a head ache, everyone get's them. The head aches slowly got worse, then their hands and feet began to tingle, I believe it was like pins and needles, that's how my sister described it to me, my twin. We were so alike in so many ways, but not in this. She contracted The Grams Variant and I didn't which I never fully understood and still don't. My sister Chrissy and I lived together in a small two bedroom flat, we had the same kind of life style, ate the same food and went to the same bars. But she got ill and I didn't. She died and I didn't.

It was another 3 years before the final two symptoms showed. Those who contracted Grams began to vomit violently and constantly thick, black sludge that smelled like sewage mixed with blood, because as we learned later, that is exactly what it was but it didn't stop. Chrissy became unable to move she was so exhausted and thin. She couldn't eat, speak or lift her head of the pillow. I tried to give her water with a face cloth, dabbing her sore, cracked lips. I'd sing her favourite songs and read her favourite books to her. Sometimes she would open her eyes and look at me, attempting to smile. But mostly she just lay there, struggling.

The last symptom was a sudden rush of energy. Almost everyone who had contracted Grams did the same thing with that energy, the same thing Chrissy did. They ended their suffering. At the time I was so mad at her, she through herself from her bedroom window, she didn't even open it first she just crashed through the glass. I hated her for leaving me, what if a cure was found? But of course it wasn't, most of the scientists working on a cure died the same horrible death as my sister.

I stayed in my flat for another 6 months after my sister died. My boyfriend Thom, my best friend Kara, her boyfriend Nate and Chrissy's girlfriend Gemma stayed with me. We were all alone apart from each other now. We stayed at my flat because it was close to the centre of town but not in it. The few survivors in our town became feral like in a zombie film. Things became dangerous for us, we were running out of food and other groups of people would attack us if we left the flat. By the time it was winter we had no food except a few cans of various things, the electricity had been long cut off so we were cold and in the dark and we knew we couldn't stay any longer. That's when Gemma mentioned something she'd been keeping to herself. Her family owned a yacht. We'd all known her family were rich but we didn't realise how rich. There was a lot of shouting and arguing that night. I tense up when I think back on things that were said, by myself as well as the others. But by 3 am we had decided we needed to go. We weren't safe where we were. The yacht might be gone, someone might have taken it. But that didn't matter. We had to leave and at least this way we had a goal.

We had a long walk a head of us. We tired to look for a car but that wasn't possible. All vehicles we passed had been claimed by other people and any cars that had been left had no petrol. We agreed we would walk. It was cold and we were exposed but we had no other choice. We hoped we could make the walk in 7 or 8 days. Nate and Kara had originally argued that it could not possibly take that long, if we had been driving it would have only taken about 11 hours. The problem was we were walking, it was cold and we wanted to avoid roads as we could hide more easily if we weren't walking on motor ways. So we began to walk. We would stop to eat once a day, we had brought a tent and we all huddled together to keep warm, taking shifts to watch out for other people. Unfortunately, it turned out we only had enough food for us all to eat once a day for 5 days. We attempted to catch rabbits and squirrels but this was no good, we could not fashion any kind of trap that worked, we just did not eat once the cans ran out, we did however find a river and filled up empty bottles with water. Twice we heard voices in the distance but managed to avoid them.

We had been walking for 6 days when Nate was scouting ahead for us, he came across two men, who approached him aggressively. I never found out exactly what was said between them but Nate said they had asked him who he was and what he wanted. Nate described them as a father and son most likely, although I suppose that's not important now. Thinking about it Nate could sometimes take things too far, I suppose he must have insulted them. One of the men hit him in the arm with a weapon, a metal pipe Nate said, it must have been rough because it cut his arm open. Nate came back to us and Kara washed his arm with water and used an old rag to stop the bleeding.

After 7 days of walking and 2 days without food we reached the little coastal town that Gemma had said was our destination. We found a cave at the sea front, and set up a fire and rested. It was too dark to find Gemma's yacht and we were all tired and hungry.

The following day we went to the cave mouth and looked at the little town. It looked like it we could be there within the hour. The problem was Nate, his arm was swelling up, there was pus and it was red and hot to the touch. He couldn't walk and he had the beginning of a fever and Kara wouldn't leave him. Thom and I decided to walk into the town and find antibiotics, food and anything else we might need. Gemma and Kara stayed with Nate.

We made it to the town in 45 minutes. All the edible food had been taken, we took some withered fruit anyway as we were starving. Thom found a book on camping and hunting which he also took. There was only one pharmacy in the small town and it had been cleaned out, including the condoms, good to know people are still having fun out there. We returned to the cave, Gemma had got some sea water in an attempt to clean Nates wound, thinking the salt water would help. He was not in a good way. Thom read his book and I sat by the fire, staring into the flames. Sitting in the same place I am sitting now, wondering how things got so fucked up.

Thom thought he knew how to make a rabbit trap with minimal material. He left the cave, walking down a small hill and returned a short while later. We were so tired, due to the hunger. We had eaten the mushy fruit, but it wasn't enough. We fell asleep. I didn't know it at the time, but it was the last night we would all be together.

The fire had gone out, we were shivering. Thom started a new fire and Gemma and I huddled round it. Kara was sitting with Nate, stroking his hair. I think she would have been crying if she had the energy. Thom stretched his back and told us he was going to check the trap, but Kara stood up quickly and said she would do it, as she needed to stretch her legs and get out of the cave. When she got to the cave mouth she called over that it was icy outside. It had snowed the night before but with it being so close to the sea the snow didn't lie, but there were patches of ice everywhere.

I closed my eyes again, the tears running down my face, remembering the last words she ever said, 'Don't worry, I'll be careful.' I touched the heart shaped locket again. I want to push the memory to the back of my head but I can't. If I don't think about it there's no one to remember, not anymore.

She'd only been gone a few minutes. We heard the scream and a thud. That thud, it never leaves me, every night when I go to sleep I hear that thud. Thom, Gemma and I ran as fast as we could on empty bellies and tired bodies. About 10 feet along from the mouth of the cave I saw her, a crumpled mess on the ground. She had fallen and her neck had snapped. She was gone. Thom picked her up and carried her into the cave. I cried, I screamed. Nothing would bring her back. Nate was asleep. Only the three of us there.

Thom's stupid trap didn't work. After 3 days with no food, Nate getting worse and Kara lying there lifeless we finally agreed. We needed to eat, we were dying! It was literally life and death. Nate never found out what he ate, he didn't even notice Kara was missing. He died of sepsis without knowing what happened to her. A blessing really.

I live alone now. In this cave. I take off the locket and open it. It's been such a long time now it doesn't look like skin anymore. Kara loved that little tattoo on her hip, a small star and I wanted to keep a little part of her with me. I kept it in the locket she got me for my 15th birthday, I wore it everyday since the day she gave me it, and now there's a small piece of her with me forever. When I cry and scream, it's for her, for Kara. My best friend. Her sacrifice saved me, she lost her life but I kept mine. I miss her.

But I don't miss the other two.