The Camels of Misfit Farm

The early morning light was still dim when Maura heard Howard yipping. The high-pitched sounds pulled her away from her wrestling match with a budget spreadsheet, and she did not regret leaving the laptop. Howard usually only barked at box turtles, but this time he sounded frantic. She prayed he had not cornered a skunk again.

She followed the racket to the quarter-acre garden behind the farmhouse. Howard was in playful puppy mode; front legs spread and extended, butt in the air, tail wagging, but he was nose to nose with a large camel who continued to chew on the tomato vines dangling from the corner of his mouth as he sniffed the excited puppy. He lifted his head and grunted when he saw Maura but did not move from his spot between the tomatoes and squash. A smaller camel peeked from behind him. Both interlopers were dirty, shaggy, and very hungry. The tomatoes were a lost cause, and the pole beans were wholly gone.

Fifteen minutes later, the local Animal Control Officer parked his truck in the barnyard.

"Hi, Joey. Thanks for coming out so early!" Howard had given up on herding the camels and escorted Maura to the truck.

"No problem, Maura. What's this I hear about camels?" He grinned as he bent to give Howard an ear-scratch, "Are you sure someone's cows didn't get out again?"

Joey and his wife, Katie, were Maura's nearest neighbors and close friends. They had been supportive of her farming misadventures in the three years since she returned to the farm, but Joey could not resist teasing her about them. She noticed that he was walking well with his new prosthesis, and the burn scars on his face had faded a little more.

"Trust me. It's not cows this time."

"Uh-huh!" He collected a coil of braided nylon rope from the back of the truck.

"Wow!" he said as they approached the garden. " I believe you now! I haven't seen those since Afghanistan!" Crooning in a language Maura did not recognize, Joey moved toward the male camel who stepped away and trampled more plants. The smaller female remained close by, keeping her larger companion as a shield. The vegetables planned for the weekend Farmer's Market were a lost cause.

The male snorted and grumbled each time Joey stepped toward him but remained calm as he continued to stay just out of reach. Neither animal wore a collar or ear tags, and there were suspicious marks along their flanks.

After fifteen minutes of stalking and dodging, Joey sighed and whispered, "They haven't found the Silver Queen." He and Maura collected armfuls of the prized sweet corn from the far edge of the garden. Walking backward with the treats extended at arm's length, they trolled the pair into the barn and corralled them in a box stall initially intended for large draft horses. Maura climbed the ladder to the loft to toss down a couple of bales of fresh hay while the dairy goats watched from their pen across the aisle. Buford, the Rhode Island Red rooster, chivvied his harem of assorted hens away from the commotion.

"And you were afraid the deer and raccoons would get into your corn this year!" Joey chuckled as they left the barn.

"True," she laughed. "Do you have time for a cup of coffee? Ella brought over banana bread yesterday."

They had just settled in for a good gossip when they heard the rattle and squeak of an old truck coming down the dirt road to the farm.

The twenty-year-old pickup had once been blue. Now the largest of the rust patches had been covered with spray paint and Bondo. The passenger door was faded red, and the tailgate was yellow thanks to trips to the local junkyard for replacement parts. There was a crack in the windshield. A wooden cross and a lei made of bright plastic flowers swung from the rearview mirror. An airbrushed tag crookedly fastened with baling wire hung from the front bumper. Two entwined pink hearts proclaimed, "Bobby loves Lorraine." On the rear bumper, colorful stickers touted the virtues of Dollywood and Myrtle Beach. As the driver parked the truck at the side of the barnyard, it backfired.

Bellowing, guttural cries, and the sound of breaking wood echoed from the barn. As Maura and Joey hurried out the back door, they saw the camels loping across the back pasture.

"Miss Maura! What's wrong! What's happening!" the driver called as he climbed out of the truck.

"I'll tell you later!" she called as she ran past, "Go do your chores!"

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(This is how it all started. Stay tuned for Chapter 2: Bobby Meets the Camels)