The Ballad of Fa Lan

In the 5th century A.D., the great country of China was in an uproar. The Great Wall had just been completed, but the country and it's people - particularly toward the North - were constantly under seige by their neighboring enemy, the Huns. It had become a common practice for the Huns to invade bordering villages in the night, slaughtering all in their path and stealing young maidens to take as brides. Many villages - with heavy hearts - created pacts with the Hun leaders to give their daughters over willingly, in an effort to spare the rest of their people from death and destruction. Lan's village was no exception.

Lan was a young man from a fairly affluent family. His father, Fa Zhu, was a decorated veteran, who had been rewarded for his service in battle by the emperor with a fine home and many treasures. Fa Zhu had hoped his son would follow in his footsteps and become a mighty warrior in his own right, but that wasn't the case. Lan had been sickly from birth, which made him smaller and slighter than most other young men his age. He despised the idea of fighting so much that the other villagers branded him a coward, even though that was far from the truth. Lan was a scholar and a musician, who simply preferred to spend his time reading or plucking his lyre to rough-housing. Adding further shame to the family, he had been rejected from the army several times due to his frailty, and no father in the entire village could be persuaded to give him their daughter's hand in marriage. He was his parents' only child though, and he tried his absolute best to honor and serve them well nonetheless.

As the time for the Maiden Offering drew nearer, Lan's family began to despair. They had no daughters to send to the Huns, but it was expected that a woman or girl from every family in the village be sent out. Thus, Lan's mother had decided to offer herself as a bride. She was middle-aged, but definitely kept her youthful beauty, so she hoped they would accept her and spare her family. Fa Zhu was distraught and angry, trying everything in his power to convince her not to go, but her mind was made up. Lan's grandmother, who lived with the family, also tried her best to talk sense into her daughter, right up until the night before the Offering. Lan kept his silence. He knew nothing would convince his mother to change her mind once it was made up. At dinner that night, he held his tongue and kept back his tears while the others bickered.

Later, when he couldn't sleep, he got up to take a walk. He happened to spy his mother through a cracked open door on his way to the courtyard, making preparations for the dawn. He watched her as she carefully laid out her makeup and combs, remembering fondly how he used to love watching her paint her face when he was little. From the wardrobe she then removed a silk parcel, which contained her wedding gown. She sniffled as she held it against herself, measuring to make certain it would still fit, then fell to her knees sobbing. Lan began to weep himself, but stayed silent in the shadows until his mother eventually gathered herself up and went to bed. He stood there in the corridor for a few minutes more until his feet took him outside to the family shrine. As he sat there, praying fervently to his ancestors for guidance, an epiphany suddenly struck him. The Huns didn't know he had no sisters. Perhaps it could work. Perhaps...

A moment later, he leapt to his feet and hurried back into the house. He paused for just a moment to think about what he was doing as he held up his mother's wedding gown against his own frame. It would most definitely fit. His plan might just work after all. Before he lost his nerve, he slipped swiftly and silently out of his clothes and into the gown. It took a bit more difficulty than he thought to paint his face and arrange the combs in his hair presentably. When he had finished and examined his reflection in his mother's hand mirror, however, he didn't recognize his own face. As the sun began to rise he wrote a hasty note for his parents, explaining what he had done and apologizing once more for the great shame he had brought them. He placed it by his mother's bedside while they were both still sleeping along with his lyre, then borrowed one of his grandmother's umbrellas and hurried to the Offering.

He reached the Maiden Offering an hour after sunrise. There were young women and girls - and even a few older women - from several villages present, each looking terrified beyond belief. Lan tried not to speak if he could help it, hiding his face most of the time behind his fan from embarrassment. His eyes and ears stayed open though, observing the women around him to emulate the way they walked and moved to keep up his facade. Once all the women had been accounted for, they were lined up in order from oldest to youngest, and the Hun officers began to inspect them. To Lan's relief, it turned out that many of the officers had already taken a bride along with a concubine or two, and instead were looking for maidservants. One by one each girl or woman was chosen by the officers and sent toward the tents in the middle of the clearing, until the Huns came to Lan.

The officer in charge pulled down Lan's fan with his fingertip, and studied the nervous young man's eyes. "What are you called?" he asked sharply.

Lan froze completely. He hadn't thought about needing a name until that very moment, and his mind had gone totally blank. He dropped his gaze, hemming and hawing, "Er... ah... I-..."

"Speak up, girl!" The officer barked, "You've been asked a question. Answer it, or I'll cut you down where you stand!!"

Before Lan could speak again, an arrow sprouted from the officer's neck. The other officers and soliders were speechless with alarm as their commander crumpled to the dirt, dead, then a few more followed. "We're under attack!" They shouted, drawing their swords, "It's an ambush! Form ranks! Fight back!!"

During the chaos, Lan grabbed the few girls that were closest to him and dragged them toward the bushes surrounding the clearing for cover. He spoke softly to keep them calm and quiet, praying for them not to be discovered. After what felt like an eternity, the sounds of battle ceased; Lan heard voices calling out all around, demanding any survivors to come forth. He was too afraid to move though, and kept himself and the girls with him hidden. A few minutes later though, the shrubbery over his head parted. An officer of the Chinese army, not much older than him, stood over them with his sword drawn. He put his sword away though in an instant when he realized they weren't his enemy, and offered his hand to Lan stoically. "It's all over," he said, "you can come out. We'll help you find your way back to your families."

Lan was relieved to hear the news, but a feeling of dread washed over him immediately. He couldn't go back to his small village, not in daylight and dressed as a woman. Everyone would see his shame, and his family would be completely ostracized and dishonored beyond recovery. The more he thought about it, his swirling emotions and the adrenaline wearing off from the battle he'd just survived made him feel very faint. He managed to wobble to his feet, shaking like a leaf, but seconds later collapsed in the young officer's arms.

When Lan came to, he was inside the officer's tent. He panicked at not knowing where he was, but then relaxed when he recognized the officer. His anxiety was further quelled when he saw that his disguise was still intact. The officer knelt beside his bed roll and offered him a bowl of stew with a warm smile. "Good morning," he said, "I hope you're feeling better, Miss-...?"

Lan took the bowl, wetting his painted lips as he scrambled to come up with a name. Suddenly, he remembered a nickname the other boys used to tease him with when he was younger, and blurted it out without thinking. "Mulan," he squeaked, glad for once his voice naturally had a slightly higher register than normal, "Fa Mulan."

A flicker of recognition passed over the officer's face, "Fa-? You're not the daughter of Fa Zhu, are you? I didn't think he had any female children. My father served with him in the last war. Is he well?"

Lan began to panic again. He had given his surname without thought, which may just have been his undoing. Suddenly, Lan began weeping uncontrollably, which earned a look of shock and pity from the officer.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, placing a hand gingerly on Lan's shoulder, "was his passing recent? What of your mother? Do you have any family I can return you to?"

Lan began wiping his face, not realizing his makeup was smearing. "No," he sniffled, "I cannot return to my family. I... I-I will be disgraced if I do." When he saw the paint on his sleeves, Lan quickly turned his face away before the officer could look upon it. Surprisingly, the officer grasped his chin and turned his face back.

"I understand," he nodded, his expression sympathetic but bitter, "being the bride of a Hun dog is the ultimate disgrace."

Lan's eyes widened a little in surprise. Even with no makeup on, the officer still believed he was talking to a woman. Lan had been told he had effeminate features all his life, but he never thought his face was all that womanly. Now, however, he was hopeful that he may be able to continue his charade, just for a little longer. "Yes," he agreed, softening and raising the pitch of his voice a little, "it is... but there are worse things, too."

"Indeed," the officer grinned, standing up and dusting himself off, "Well, it'll be an adjustment having a lady in the camp for a while, but I don't think the men will mind too much. I have friends in the capital who may be able to look after you, however it will take some weeks to reach it. In the meantime, you can sleep in my tent, and we'll make sure to provide you with as much comfort and privacy as we can."

Lan nodded gratefully and began eating his stew, then looked up at the officer again. "I have some skills," he offered, "I can cook and clean, and I know how to care for wounds. My... mother was a nurse."

The officer thought for a moment, then nodded approvingly, "Very well then, Fa Mulan; your duties begin tomorrow, at first light." He bowed to Lan respectfully, then turned to leave the tent. As he was ducking under the tent flap, however, he smiled over his shoulder cordially, "Oh, my name is Shang, by the way. It's an honor and a pleasure to meet you."

For the next several weeks, Lan adapted to his role perfectly. Every morning he got up before sunrise to start breakfast in the mess tent, and he wouldn't return to to Shang's tent until after dark when all the bowls and pots had been scrubbed clean. In between his cooking duties he found himself most often in the medical tent, patching up wounded soldiers. He hadn't lied about his mother being a nurse, nor about knowing basic first aid. He had read many books and scrolls on medicine and anatomy though, which made up for his lack of experience tending to more complex injuries.

His mother's wedding gown was not the easiest garment to get around in, though, which Shang had noticed. One afternoon, when they had made camp near a village in the mountains, Shang surprised Lan with a few simple frocks more suitable for daily wear. Lan accepted them gratefully. He was still embarrassed a little to wear the dresses, but they were much more comfortable than the constricting gown. His hair, which he'd always preferred to keep long, was worn up in a kerchief most of the day to keep it out of his face. He had no paint to apply to his face, but it was quickly apparent that he didn't need any. His kind, gentle bearing, high voice and naturally feminine features gave no man in the entire camp any doubt for a moment that he was female through and through.

Every soldier treated him with kindness and respect, but none of them treated Lan better than Shang did. Lan found he liked the attention Shang gave him very much, although he didn't understand fully the feelings that Shang gave him. Shang was unlike any man Lan had ever met; Lan found he was happier when Shang was with him, and when he wasn't around Shang was all Lan thought about. He tried to keep his feelings hidden, and was successful for the most part. One day, when Shang asked Lan to officially begin a courtship, Lan was completely shocked and torn. He couldn't say yes, for multiple reasons, but was confused by how desperately he wanted to. Shang smiled coyly at Lan's blushing face, "I know, it's sudden. Don't give me an answer right away. Sleep on it first, and we'll talk in the morning." He then pressed a soft kiss on Lan's cheek, bowed, and walked away with a spring in his step.

Little did Lan know that his tumultous feelings weren't his biggest problem at the moment. Hun spies had been watching the camp for several days without their knowledge. As soon as the soldiers turned in that night, the spies took out the soldiers keeping watch and started setting fire to the tents. Lan, who was understandably unable to sleep, sat up when he saw the blazes through the canvas around him. He woke Shang quickly, then ran out to warn the others. Thanks to Lan, the Hun spies were quickly discovered and captured, and the fires were extinguished before too much damage had been done. One of the spies glowered at Lan hatefully while being bound with ropes for questioning. "Trecherous snake," he spat, "vile witch!! You'll pay for this!!" Before anyone could stop him, he broke free of his ropes and pulled a dagger from his boot. The soldiers around him tackled the Hun to the ground, but not before the blade sailed from his hand and lodged itself in Lan's right upper thigh.

Lan howled and hit the ground immediately, in so much agony he could barely breathe. Shang ordered the spy to be killed, then scooped Lan off the ground in an instant and raced swiftly toward the medical tent. "Hold on, Mulan," he ordered, "You'll be alright! Just hold on!" Lan was in so much pain he couldn't think. His vision began to blur and his breathing stilted as a massive dizzy spell washed over him. All the while he tried to keep pressure on his leg, swooning at the river of blood pouring from the wound. Despite his efforts not to, he fell unconscious long before they ever reached their destination.

When Lan awoke, Shang was at his bedside... along with the commander of another regiment, and the court scribe who had been assigned to their camp to report all their activity directly to the emperor. Lan covered himself out of habit, confused and alarmed to discover his upper half was totally bare. After checking under the blanket he wore, he discovered that he was - in fact - totally naked, with a bandage around his right upper thigh. Immediately, Lan looked to Shang and began tearing up. "I-I can explain," he stammered, "It was never my intention to decieve you, I-"

"Silence," the commander snapped, "you do not have the right to speak! A man, masquerading in the guise of a woman: it's positively abhorrent! The ultimate dishonor!"

"Please," Lan begged, "I only did what I had to, to save my mother! She-"

The court scribe suddenly shot out a hand, cracking the back of it across Lan's cheekbone. "You were told to keep quiet, you dog!" he spat, "when the emperor hears of this, your father will be stripped of his land and title... and you will be lucky if you aren't put to death!" Lan held his stinging face and flinched as the court scribe readed to deal him a second blow, but Shang caught the older man's wrist in mid air.

"He saved the camp," Shang said quietly, "just let him go. The emperor doesn't need to know about this. The shame he will live with for the rest of his days is punishment enough."

The pompous older man was displeased by this, but when the other officer agreed with Shang was forced to bow to majority rule. They left Shang and Lan alone in the medical tent upon Shang's request, but for the longest time there was only heavy silence between them.

"Shang, I'm sorry," Lan whimpered, trying his hardest not to weep, "my mother was planning to go to the Maiden Offering, but I took her place. It was the only way I could think of to spare her suffering, and uphold her honor."

"I believe you," Shang responded, keeping his back to Lan the entire time, "what you did was noble..." his hands clasped together behind his back, tightening until his knuckles turned white. "...what I don't understand," he growled, "is why you kept up your guise all this time. Why didn't you tell me the truth, Mulan?!"

Lan lowered his head in shame. "I was afraid," he murmured, "but more importantly, I wanted to serve my country. I'm too weak to use a sword or fire a bow, and I haven't the breath in my lungs required of a soldier to march." His eyes raised to Shang again, filled with tears but also determination, "Bloodshed appals me, but I have been gifted like my mother with the skill to heal. My parents would never allow me the opportunity to travel to the capital to study medicine though, as they feared I was too frail for the journey." He tried to stand, but his wound prevented him, drawing a growl of pain and frustration from his throat. "I am sorry, Shang," he said, "that I had to deceive you... but it was the only way. Do you understand now?"

Shang nodded affirmatively, but kept his back toward Lan, "What is your name, then? Your real name, I mean?"

Lan swallowed, trying to force down his emotion, "It's Lan. Fa Lan."

"Lan," Shang repeated, tasting every letter pensively. Lan tried to suppress a shiver at hearing his name on Shang's tongue, something he had never experienced before and most likely never would again. After another brief silence, Shang bowed his head. "We're two days' ride from the capital," he said, his tone cold and clinical, "you will be given proper clothes and enough rations to make it there on your own. When you get there, you can find your own way back to your home, or wherever it is you wish to go. Honestly, I don't care where that is, as long as it's out of my sight."

Tears rolled down Lan's cheeks, as Shang's words cut him deeper than the dagger ever could have. Without even thinking about it, he reached forward and wrapped his fingers around Shang's knee. "I love you," he whispered.

Shang shook off his hand immedately, finally turning around to face him. "You leave at first light," he snarled, his expression filled with anger, betrayal and no small amount of sadness as well. With that, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the tent.

Lan kept his eyes downcast as he left the camp the next morning, trying his hardest to ignore the whispers buzzing all around him. He couldn't walk, so he was given an old mare to ride out on along with his meager provisions. Winter had set in early along the mountain pass he traveled, but he was too heartbroken to care much about the cold. He rode all day from dawn to dusk, stopping at a small inn nestled near the base of the mountain. He had just enough coin for a room and a drink, both of which he paid for in advance before settling himself at a corner table. For being such an isolated little establishment, he was surprised at how busy it was. Nearly every room was full, thanks in no small part to a foreign merchant travelling with his covey of wives and concubines. Besides them and Lan, the inn's other guests were a trio of men in cloaks... and when Lan got close enough to them, he recognized the Hun dialect they were speaking in.

Lan's heart pounded when he listened in on the Huns' conversation: they were concocting a plot to assassinate the emperor in three days' time! Lan knew he had to act quickly to warn the emperor, but was doubtful of his ability to make it to the capital on time. Even if he did, there was very little he could actually do to protect the emperor on his own. "Shang," he whispered, "I have to tell Shang!" He knew it was risky going back to camp, but he had no other alternative. Shang had an entire army, and knowledge of military tactics and strategy. If anyone could protect the emperor, it was Shang. Luckily, he learned that the Huns weren't leaving the inn until the next night, which gave him a little time to act. Lan tried to remain inconspicuous as he watched the trio of Huns, then as soon as they went to bed he left the inn. It took him half the night to ride back to camp on his broken-down old mare, and he was close to collapsing when he got there. The soldiers on guard duty nearly shot him on sight accidentally, then when they realized it was Lan seemed to regret that they hadn't.

"You were told to stay out of the camp," they snapped, "what are you doing back here?! Shang will have you killed for this, surely!"

Lan fell forward against his horse's neck, fighting to stay conscious. "Sh-Shang," he panted, "th-the emperor... h-have to save the emperor! Where is he? Where... Where's Shang?!"

The point of a sword leveled itself at his throat in answer to his question. "I granted you mercy," Shang growled, "I let you leave unharmed! I can't decide if you're just a simpleton, or if you actually wish to die!"

Lan turned his head to look at Shang, then began smiling uncontrollably. "Shang," he murmured, blinking away tears of joy slowly, "Thought I'd never see-..." his smile fell then when he remembered his mission, "The emperor.... They're... g-going to kill the emperor! Have to stop them...! Shang... s-save the... emper...or...." Lan had no memory of slipping out of his saddle, or falling into Shang's arms. When he awoke, he was once again in Shang's tent. Shang's expression was hard and distrustful still, but his eyes at least were kind.

He handed Lan a steaming cup of tea with a sigh, "We have to stop meeting like this. It's unhealthy, for both of us." After Lan had taken a few gulps to restore his strength, Shang moved closer with a grim frown, "Now: what did you mean by 'they're going to kill the emperor'?"

Lan recounted the conversation he'd heard to the best of his ability, and - to his credit - Shang listened to his report intently and believed every word. "We've got to get there first," he decided, pacing the tent in thought, "surprise them before they strike." Shang ran a hand through his hair irritably a moment later, "It'll have to be a stealth mission: if they notice an entire army surrounding them, we'll lose our advantage and they may either flee before we can catch them or carry out their plot in front of the public out of haste." He chewed his thumb while his mind worked, a nervous habit that Lan found quite endearing. "How do we do it, though?"

Suddenly, Lan remembered the merchant at the inn with his wagonload of wives and concubines, and an idea struck him. "I might have a suggestion," he muttered, "...but I don't think you're going to like it one bit. In fact, I think you're going to hate it."

Shang turned to Lan, intrigued, then sat down across from him. "Let's hear it," he ordered, and he meant it.

Two nights later, a wagon rolled into the capital driven by Shang. Lan sat in the back, once again disguised as a woman. Alongside him were the army's six best soldiers, also masquerading as women. Their guises were not as convincing as Lan's by far, but they did their best to hide their manly assets with fans and thick veils.

"My bodice is too tight," one of them complained.

"Is this paint supposed to itch?" another asked nervously, trying not to scratch his face.

"Just try to relax," Lan coached, "you won't have to worry about it for much longer; we're nearly at the palace."

The wagon rolled to a stop in front of the palace gates. One of the guards walked around the back to inspect the wagon's contents, while the other struck up a conversation with Shang. "Stop there," he ordered, "State your name, and your business. Be quick about it!"

"I am a player," Shang said, putting on his most convincing smile, "I've come to entertain the emperor, with my wives. They're dancers, you see... but their talents beyond that are numerous."

"Yes," the guard inspecting the wagon smirked lewdly, "I'm sure. The emperor is not accepting any visitors to his court tonight, however. You can come back tomorrow... or, if you like, your wives can entertain us instead."

Lan's eyes widened when he recognized the guard, and he cried out to Shang. "They're lying," he warned, "this man is one of the Huns I saw at the inn! The emperor is in jeopardy as we speak!!"

The Hun startled at being outed as an impostor, then grabbed for the sword on his belt instinctively, "What? How-?! You traitorous little minx! I'll-!" The words died in his throat a moment later, when one of the soliders dragged him into the wagon headfirst. The soldiers skillfully incapacitated him while Shang handled the other false guard, then bound and gagged the two Huns with their sashes. The small company continued on foot through the palace gates to rescue the emperor, but Lan stayed behind in the wagon under Shang's orders. That was fine with Lan, as he couldn't walk very well still, and he was more useful keeping watch over their prisoners than he was in combat. He kept alert and on his guard, waiting for Shang to return, but honestly wasn't paying as close attention to his captives as he should have been.

"I know you," one of his prisoners snarled after working his gag off. "You were at the camp. What the hell is a lady of nobility doing slumming it at an army encampment?!" Lan refused to answer, but moved closer to put the Hun's gag back in place. Then Hun bit at Lan's fingers when he got close, then his eyes glimmered with recognition. "Wait..." he murmured, "your face... you were at the inn. You're no woman, no more than I am!!"

"Be quiet," Lan hissed, pulling a dagger from his bodice, "or else I'll... I-I'll cut your throat!"

The Hun sneered at Lan mockingly, "No; you won't. You don't have the stomach for it. I can see it in your eyes. It's no wonder you like to play dress-up so much!"

Without warning, he head-butted Lan squarely in the face. Lan fell backward, holding his nose and blinking the stars from his eyes, as his dagger dropped from his hand. The Hun grabbed it up quickly and used it to free himself and his cohort. The second Hun ran after the Chinese soldiers with his sword drawn, while the first loomed over Lan with the dagger in hand. "Since you like playing as a woman," he glowered menacingly, "why don't I treat you like one?!"

He lunged for Lan and began tearing at his gown like an animal. Lan kicked the Hun in the groin to get him off, then as soon as he was able fled from the wagon. Kicking the Hun had opened up the wound on his thigh, but he never stopped to consider the pain. The Hun chased him into the palace courtyard, where an epic battle between the Huns and the Chinese soldiers in disguise was taking place. It looked like the Chinese were winning, with the emperor tucked safely behind Shang's back. Shang paused when he saw Lan limping madly toward him, anger etching his face when his gaze moved to the Hun pursuing Lan. He dispatched the Huns he was fighting quickly, then raced to Lan's aid. With his pursuer being dealt with by Shang, Lan picked up a sword off the ground and hobbled toward the emperor. He collapsed from pain, but put his back toward the emperor and held the sword out in front of him to ward off any Huns that came near.

The rest of the battle was a blur that Lan remembered very little of. The next thing he knew, he was waking up in a bed within the palace walls. The emperor was seated beside him, as were Shang and his parents. The emperor looked down at Lan sternly, but his eyes were wise and kind.

"You have done a very serious thing here, Fa Lan," the emperor said. "Do you realize that?"

Lan was stricken speechless with fright. He was so terrified, he couldn't remember how to breathe until his mother placed her hand on his arm. "Please," he begged, "What I have done, I did on my own. My family had no knowledge of it! Spare them, and punish me. I beg of you!"

The emperor raised a bushy white eyebrow and stroked his beard. "Punish you?" he repeated, "why would I punish the man who nearly gave his life to save mine?"

Lan's jaw dropped open, and he looked at the faces of Shang and his mother and father in confusion, "I... I don't understand."

The emperor rose then, and smoothed the wrinkles out of his robe, "You have shown great courage in the face of danger, Fa Lan, and pluck. Not every man is willing to go to such lengths as you have to protect those he loves and to serve his country." His face split into a smile then, and he chuckled warmly, "although I must admit, your methods are definitely... unorthodox."

Lan was awarded a substantial monetary sum for his bravery and service, as well as a title and a handsome plot of land to build his home upon. Men from all over China came to call on Lan, offering him their daughters to wed, but he respectfully declined every one. He walked with a cane forever more from his injury, which never quite properly healed due to its location. He never let the injury or his delicate health hold him back though, and immediately began pursuing his dream of studying medicine in the capital as soon as he was able. In time, he became a doctor in his own right, and his services were sought out from everyone far and near.

When the war with the Huns was at last at an end, Shang came to see him at his home one afternoon. They enjoyed a meal together to catch up, then took a short stroll around Lan's lush garden. "It really is wonderful to see you again, Shang," Lan admitted. "For a long time, I was worried you never wanted to see or speak to me ever again." He stopped walking to rest on a bench and catch his breath, staring up at Shang curiously, "whatever made you change your mind?"

Shang sat down beside him, and took his hands in his. "Do you really have to ask?" he said, a warm smile on his lips. Lan felt his pulse quicken with anticipation and hope, but before he could speak again Shang's lips pressed softly against his.

Shang moved to the village in a small house near Lan's shortly after his visit. He, like Lan, never married, but the two were rarely seen apart. They spent the rest of their days in happiness, reaping the rewards the emperor had granted them and enjoying each other's company to the fullest extent.