Fiction logo

The Bag - Jason's Dilemma

A Story Every Day in 2024 May 14th 135/366

By Rachel DeemingPublished 2 months ago 2 min read
The Bag - Jason's Dilemma
Photo by lan deng on Unsplash

This links on from The Bag, published on May 12th, where readers decided what should happen in this story after I ended it on a cliffhanger.

***

Jason had about five minutes until the train pulled in again and he could, could, hand the bag in. Not a lot of time to decide what to do.

He closed it up and placed it next to him. He wasn't an overly curious person but, for some reason, he was reluctant to relinquish the bag. When she had seen him after his frantic and quite embarrassing display at the train window, there was something in the look she gave him which made him what? Curious? Attracted? He wasn't sure what but it was making him want to hand over the bag himself.

He reached into the bag and his hand found the notebook and so, he drew it out.

Black, plain. It didn't look like it had been used much. There was no pen in the bag that he could remember.

He opened the cover. Cream paper. He was expecting a name but there was nothing written here and so, he turned another page.

Pencil writing. Smudged in places, so the graphite grey smear blurred the words. He tried to make them out. It wasn't easy because it must have been a blunt pencil used, the words barely marking the page.

He squinted. At the top of the page clearly "Plan A". Scanning down, he made out inconsequential words like "draw" and "the", "in" and "him", "leave" and "tail", maybe "trail"? There wasn't enough there to make sense of the whole. There was a doodle of a knife stabbing an apple, well-drawn, next to the words in capitals "PAY DAY! YAY!"

The train was slowing. He glanced at the page again and noticed something which made his heart start just a little. Was that Jason written there? He brought the page closer to his face. Yes, it said Jason. Curious. Coincidence? Maybe. But he felt a chill.

The train had stopped. He put the notebook away, stood, turned away from the window and hitched the bag onto his shoulder.

He headed to the doors and there she was.

***

366 words

So, what happens next? Is there a confrontation? Do they have a conversation? Suggestions please in the comments and I will run with the most popular. Let's see what you come up with!

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read it, please do leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.

135/366

PsychologicalMysteryMicrofiction

About the Creator

Rachel Deeming

Storyteller. Poet. Reviewer. Traveller.

I love to write. Check me out in the many places where I pop up:

Medium

My blog

Reedsy

Linkedin

Goodreads

X

Facebook

Beware of imitators.

Enjoyed the story?
Support the Creator.

Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also pledge your support or give them a one-off tip, letting them know you appreciate their work.

Subscribe For FreePledge Your Support

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments (14)

  • Sian N. Clutton18 days ago

    Intriguing... I hope this goes a dark way, but I never hope for anything else. 😂

  • Grz Colmabout a month ago

    I’m such a sucker for suspense. Hitchcock is my favourite director of all time. I love all that psychological thriller mumbo jumbo. It’s obviously too late, but I’d be more keen on the psychological thriller vibes as opposed to sci- fi. (I think). 😁

  • Very intriguing! How she arrived first has a Sci-Fi feel to it!

  • D.K. Shepard2 months ago

    Definitely want the doodle to be addressed! I’m torn on if there should be hostility or harmony between them

  • Mark Gagnon2 months ago

    The first question for him, "How did you get here so fast?" followed by, "Have we met before?" I'm curious to see where you take it.

  • Shirley Belk2 months ago

    Yes....maybe they need a DNA test?

  • Caroline Craven2 months ago

    Really love John’s idea of writing the next one from her point of view. And you do that so well. Love this mini series!

  • John Cox2 months ago

    Hannah is spot on as per usual. Obfuscation should be the order of the day, for both parties. I think it might be interesting to write the next chapter from her perspective.

  • RAVI KUMAR2 months ago

    https://vocal.media/history/the-enigma-of-the-midnight-heist-3c1q0vy7 plz subscribe me

  • Katarzyna Popiel2 months ago

    My advice to the protagonist would be not to mention the notebook at all, just try and find a way to get to know her better, get her phone number maybe? Arrange a meeting? A lot depends on whether he intends to stay on the train or not.

  • C. Rommial Butler2 months ago

    Well-wrought! As a not very curious person, I should think he would hightail it outta there after handing over the bag, but not very curious people have a habit of being very curious when curious situations are afoot! Though I don't read Jason as a confrontational type. What would I do? Well... I'm a very curious person...

  • Hannah Moore2 months ago

    How the hell did she get there so fast is what I'd be asking. I'd own up, but a decent story was never born from transparent communication!

  • But if he confronts her, then he would expose himself of reading her notebook. So maybe he can just have a casual conversation and then tail her from then on to see what she's up to, lol. And to find out is the Jason is indeed him

  • D. J. Reddall2 months ago

    Deftly done!

Rachel DeemingWritten by Rachel Deeming

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.