Fiction logo

The Bag

A Story Every Day in 2024 May 12th 133/366

By Rachel DeemingPublished 2 months ago 3 min read
The Bag
Photo by Rajesh Rajput on Unsplash

"Excuse me! I think this is your bag!"

Jason waved the taupe shoulder bag in the air like a leathery flag, trying to attract the attention of its owner as she headed off along the platform away from the carriage. The back of her head was just visible above the others bobbing on their workaday way to wherever. He took a deep breath to shout when the announcer came over the system and he knew that he could not compete.

He went back to his seat, defeated as the train door closed and it began its slow movement to its next stop. He looked out of the window to see if he could attract the eye of "Leather Taupe Shoulder Bag", the crowds still moving, like sludge through a pipe, shuffling by millimetres.

There she was! He thumped hard on the glass and she must have seen the movement in her peripheral vision as she turned and saw a wildly gesticulating man, bearded and well-groomed, banging like an enraged ape on the train window and then holding in his hands what looked like her shoulder bag. She frowned and then realised from the lack of weight on her shoulder that it was indeed hers.

Shit. What could she do?

Jason saw the frown, then the realisation, and ultimately, the recognition as she glanced at her left shoulder and it slumped in response. The train was gaining speed and she was a waving stranger on a packed platform, desperate for the person who had her bag to know that she had seen him.

Jason had mixed feelings: she knew she'd lost her bag; she knew that he had it. But what the fuck should he do now?

He sat heavily and got to thinking. The bag was on the seat next to him.

Perhaps it could offer a clue of what to do.

But should he? Look in a stranger's bag?

What else could he do?

And so, he opened it.

No phone. A comb. A notebook. A book. Tissues. Tampons. Receipts. Fluff. Crumbs. A purse.

Now, he was at an impasse. Hand it in at the next station or seek her out?

What should he do?

***

366 words

Let's have a little fun, shall we? Does anyone remember those books where you got to "Choose Your Own Adventure"? We had "Fighting Fantasy" which was the same sort of thing but British and were a bit like D&D in a book with dice to role and decisions to make and paths to take - you know the sort of thing.

Do you fancy doing that with this story? I'll have to set a deadline for responses but I'm thinking that if I have a day to write it, that should be enough so I can publish on alternate days, and you can tell me where you want the story to go and I will write something that corresponds with reader choice.

What do you reckon? Could be fun? Either way, I'm going to write it but I'd like to see where you'd like it to head because we're all writers here and I love to interact with fellow Vocalists. So, what do you say?

If you fancy joining in, write where you would like it to go in the comments and I will read them and whichever one of the two options proposed gets the most votes, I'll write the next episode. If there's a tie, I decide. I am the writer, after all.

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read this, please leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.

133/366

SeriesMysteryMicrofiction

About the Creator

Rachel Deeming

Storyteller. Poet. Reviewer. Traveller.

I love to write. Check me out in the many places where I pop up:

Medium

My blog

Reedsy

Linkedin

Goodreads

X

Facebook

Beware of imitators.

Enjoyed the story?
Support the Creator.

Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also pledge your support or give them a one-off tip, letting them know you appreciate their work.

Subscribe For FreePledge Your Support

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

Add your insights

Comments (15)

  • Grz Colmabout a month ago

    Ahhh Rachel! I now feel terrible for not having read this sooner. I love choose your own adventure as a kid! It sometimes comes up on here. I had no idea this was interactive. For some reason this line made me smile a lot “bobbing on their workaday way to wherever”… because of the the bobbing image but also the ‘wherever’. I guess it’s the humour that’s in this whole piece actually. One down, thirty parts to go. 😁 And this would work superbly as a novella.

  • Cathy holmesabout a month ago

    I'm way behind, and have no idea what comes next. I say, open the purse and look for a phone number.

  • I’m playing catch up… just saw #3!😵‍💫 I love Choose Your Own Adventures! ❤️ I love how vividly you paint the scene… ‘ He looked out of the window to see if he could attract the eye of "Leather Taupe Shoulder Bag", the crowds still moving, like sludge through a pipe, shuffling by millimetres.’

  • Mark Gagnon2 months ago

    I like this. Drag the reader in and get them involved. The notebook is a great place to learn about her. The wallet gives him her name and address.

  • Shirley Belk2 months ago

    There has to be a clue...and he was meant to find it.

  • D.K. Shepard2 months ago

    I like looking in the notebook and finding something mysterious, then as M.A. suggested use the receipts to find a place she frequently visits!

  • M. A. Mehan 2 months ago

    Love this idea!! My first instinct would be to look in the notebook, but if there's nothing in there and she doesn't show up at the next stop, I'd be looking at the receipts to see what kind of shops she frequents, like a coffee place she might go every morning.

  • Caroline Craven2 months ago

    Ha! I used to love those 'choose your own adventure' books. I guess the boring answer would be for Jason to hand the bag in. Hope he checks the notebook and finds out she's an assassin or some other shady profession. Great writing as always Rachel.

  • John Cox2 months ago

    DJ’s idea is my vote. Make it spooky. He has inadvertently discovered himself in her story in the notebook.

  • Lana V Lynx2 months ago

    So well-written and suspenseful! I could see further adventures of the bag trying to reach its owner.

  • C. Rommial Butler2 months ago

    Well-wrought! I loved those books as a kid. There was a series called "Sorcery!" by Steve Jackson that was my favorite and which I would recommend to anyone still today. For the sake of the story, I would choose for him to look through her bag more to try to give it to her in person. In real life, I would give it to the train conductor, because the modern world is a gender politics minefield and women are taught that every strange man is a stalker, so I would curtail my personal liability, as well as any possible discomfort for her, as much as possible...

  • Katarzyna Popiel2 months ago

    Open the notebook, mate! (looking for the popcorn)

  • Hannah Moore2 months ago

    I'm such a poor fantasist. I'd hand it in when I got off and say which stop the woman got on at. But I'd also read the notebook incase there was a more direct route.

  • D. J. Reddall2 months ago

    That's a fine idea, and given that I can't publish a thing just now, I can live vicariously through your efforts. Have him snoop a little further and read the notebook. Have him discover the very story he is living through at the moment, written therein.

  • I'm in! Handing it in at the next station seems like the most logical thing to do but the story would be even more interesting if he decided to seek her out himself. The second option it is!

Rachel DeemingWritten by Rachel Deeming

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.