That Sunglasses

It all began 6 months ago…

When my friends and I decided to go to a nearby resort for a holi party, it was a fantastic holi pool party. As usual, we drank bhang and ate great meals while playing holi in the pool. I misplaced my sunglasses in the water while playing holi in the pool, and it took me two hours to notice it. No big deal, they were just a cheap pair of sunglasses. We went out for lunch after the pool party, and while eating, I noticed the pool cleaners emptying the pool because it was filthy and they needed to change the water.

The bell rang after an hour, and I got up, still hungover from too much bhaang, to see a room boy holding a pair of fancy ray ban sunglasses.

“Sir, aapke sunglasses kho gaye the na, yahi hai kya?” he said.

I noticed those lovely sunglasses and thought to myself, “This is not mine,” but greed overpowered me after seeing them and I said, “Haan mere hi hai,” thanked the attendant, and tipped him 50 rupees. I felt 50 rupees was a good deal for a pair of glasses worth 10,000 rupees. Have a wonderful Holi.

We departed the motel that night, and I slept the entire following day. I started hunting for my new glasses the next day as I was leaving for work and brought them with me. When I arrived at work, I removed my glasses and began working; however, during my lunch break, when I walked out to eat and smoke, I put them back on and began flaunting them to my coworkers. It was a good day.

The next several days were extremely hectic as the March year end close approached, and you know how stressful it is to work for accounts in a business. I noticed a small boil near my eye the week after Holi, I ignored it and continued working, but the next day it was even bigger, so I considered putting on my glasses and going to work again. You know how it works when we were kids in school and used to pray for an eye infection so that we could wear sunglasses and go to school just to show how cool we are, right? Yes, it’s the same feeling this time.

So, for the next two days, I wore my spectacles and began using an eye lotion that was also recommended by a coworker. By the time it was the weekend and I could see my eye again, it had grown five times its normal size, which worried me.

The next day, I went to an ophthalmologist and showed him my eyes; after a basic examination, he prescribed some painkillers and an eye drop, as well as instructions to rest and avoid exposure to the sun for three days. That’s a good thing, because I called my boss and requested work from home for the next four days. I started working on my laptop, but the light from the laptop hurt my eyes, so I got my glasses and started working with them.

And you know how work from home works after a few hours of work and a good night’s sleep. It was night when I woke up, and I was at Borivali station, without my shirt and glasses still on. It was dark, so I took them off to see what I was up to.

I searched my surroundings and noticed several injuries on my hand. I didn’t have any money in my pocket, so I flagged down a nearby cab and requested him to drive me home. Fortunately, I had my house keys with me, and as soon as I walked inside, I spotted the clock, which read 3 p.m. At 2:00 p.m., I fell asleep off at work and had 23 missed calls from my employer and pals. I slept it off because I was already exhausted.

I went for a wash the next morning after waking up and noticed some bruises on my legs as well. I called my supervisor and informed him that I had fallen asleep, possibly due to too much pain medication. I started working from home again and worked until 5 p.m. I had a lot of unfinished work from yesterday as well.

I decided to take my medicines after dinner and went to sleep. The next day, my eye ache had improved, and I was in the shower when I heard a loud yell from a neighbor aunty, so I sprang out of the shower and dashed towards my front door. My neighbor aunty was sobbing and crying in our corridor, and when I went ahead, I discovered a dead body of their pet Rio, which was lying on the floor with its head cut off and kept in a present wrap, similar to how e-commerce goods arrive when you order them at home.

When I saw the head, I almost threw up; someone had killed the dog and then cut off his head and placed it in a present box, very horrible, who could do such a thing? Someone who despised the dog, although no one I knew despised it; it was a lovely little dog. I returned to my flat and began making my breakfast, as well as calling my doctor to schedule my next appointment, as I was feeling much better today.

I took a cab to my doctor’s office. It had been a long time since I had left my house. I haven’t left my house in 5 months, haven’t seen my friends, families, or anyone else for that matter, except the delivery boys who come to carry meals to my house. I was fired from my job two months ago since the company policy prohibits working from home for more than two months, and you know how startups work.

I then learned that a laborer was killed by a shirtless laborer the night I was at Borivali station, and that they have uncovered the CCTV film and are looking for that man, and I have plenty of reasons to suspect it was me. Rio was eventually discovered to have been slain not by some crazy, but by me, and was packaged in a box of helmets that I had ordered from an e-commerce site last year.

My eyes are still puffy, and I can’t take off the free sunglasses I received during the holi party. Why am I telling you this now? Because today, when performing my usual Diwali cleaning, I discovered my doctor’s stethoscope in my cupboard, with his head.