Tårer fra avgrunnen

Peering out of the ruins of a derelict and abandoned vehicle, bleached and baked continuously by the sun, he keeps his gaze. Sun is high and judging by the shadows: it’s around 1300. The bright glowing orb in the sky is sadistically pouring heat and radiation all over the landscape. He looks down at his drab and tattered jacket and pants, with tattered holes cascading down his arms and legs. A new wardrobe is a rare and precious find these days. The shadows inside the scorched vehicle offer little shade, but that is how it goes these days. Anything can be useful for survival in this arid and unforgiving landscape.

The horizon is flat and comprised of fine wind-swept sand and what looks like red colored stones blown smooth by the incessant winds. Dotting the landscape like a Giant’s game of Marbles. A sudden force of pressure on the bladder sends him out into the full sun to urinate. Positioning himself and unzipping, a deep sigh is let out and the urine begins to leak out. Not a torrent or even a flow, just some spurts punctuated with thick brown drips. He painfully shivers and wishes it would just cease. After just a few small puddles appear in the sand, he looks down to see them starting to evaporate. Finishing, he zips back up slowly and lackadaisically heads into the ruined vehicle. Falling back into the side of one of the walls, he is breathing heavy and rapid. His pulse has elevated. A miniscule trickle of sweat reaches the top of his forehead. Greedily, he uses his middle finger to catch and hold the drops on his fingertip. Sucking them eagerly off his finger, he licks his acutely chapped lips. His lips are now blistered and scabbed with a troubling texture. He shifts his body to try and desperately reach a semblance of comfort.

The brain is now starting to unravel and the body is in advanced stages of dehydration. This delirium is only mild thankfully, however as the minutes and seconds pass new terrors will unfold and become a very unforgiving reality. A dull headache in the frontal cortex has become more incessant, seemingly aggravated by movement. A small blue tablet is taken out of his pocket and slowly choked down. As the pill slowly slides down it triggers the gag reflex in the throat causing a dry heave. Tilting his head straight up sharply to try and swallow the bile, he coughs hard ejecting the small tablet. Sending him into a coughing fit, he hacks deeply and violently. This elevates the otherwise dull headache into unimaginable pain. The throbbing seems to almost burst his forehead from the inside. The pressure is excruciating.

In an effort to retake the nervous system, he starts to deeply concentrate on humming a favorite childhood song of his. The hum of the tune begins to reduce his heartrate and the intense throbbing. Through the first chorus, a noticeable change has occurred in the levels of pain. The body eventually begins to become cooler. There is no more sweat. Noticing this, a flash of panic erupts and fades. Now laying on his back in the empty wreck humming the tune, he realizes that it is nearly time. Mustering the last of all bodily movement, he sings, not loudly but with a whimper. Verse-Chorus-Verse: over and over. As his breathing becomes shallow and reduced, the mind brings forth hallucinations. A mirage- twinkling with the faint echoes of people conversing on the horizon. The sun illuminating every inch of space. Everyone glowing gaily in the warmth. A small child around 4 years of age is walking towards him. She is far off but now she appears to be gliding gently over the sand. Trying to rationalize and make sense of this bizarre scene, he screams. He screams for the cessation of his thirst. He wails for the joy of simple comfort. He laments his final hours. The blonde little girl thrusts her right hand forward. She opens it up carefully. A shining and beautiful heart shaped locket rests in her palm. Fixated upon this, the reflective light grows stronger and stronger until he can feel it envelop his being. The man coughs again, shattering the vision and settles into a deep decline. His breathing is faint and his chest is tight. Panting like an animal struck by an automobile lying in waste on the side of the highway. A non-reflective blackness washes over his eyes. Respiration stops.