Humor

Are you sending Santa or Satan a Christmas letter?
"Satan, you have extra mail today" Said this grumpy creature with an attitude while sliding the mail on Satans desk. "Yes, indeed I do. Isn't it Christmas time around now?" Satan growled annoyed. "These kids need to learn how to spell Santa correctly." Satan said rolling his eyes while sitting in his throne made of fire. Though, you may think Satan hates Christmas time, he actaully has his own way of celebrating. He even tends to decorate a bit of his office and the torture chambers. Though, he does hate having to read so much mail especially around this time since many kinds tend to misspell "Santa" for "Satan"
By Alexsandra Castrillon3 years ago in Fiction
Cheetah People
As told to Mother Combs in one of her many adventures: In the arid mountain ranges of the Sahara desert live a people no one has ever seen. The Maunetjer, when they venture out into the outer world to trade, wear garments similar to burkas, both male and female, and only remove them once they are in the safety of their homes. No outsider is allowed inside their homes. There have been mysterious disappearances of people rumored to be looking for them. Several gung-ho explorers, eager to make a mark for themselves, thought they could be the ones to come back with pictures of the Maunetjer. Never to be seen again.It is rumored at the market that when they purchase the many chickens, goats, and cows, they wear gloves when exchanging money. Not one person has even seen so much as a hand or foot of a Maunetjer. They purchase thousands of chickens, goats, and cows a year. No one knows what they do with them either, for they never sell any animals, hides, milk, cheese, or anything back at the market.The Maunetjer does not wear jewelry. They wear no adornments on their costumes, nor rings on their fingers, bracelets, or anything. The only gold the Maunetjer handles is money.The gods of the Maunetjer must be fierce and unforgiving because of the totems and statues they have carved of the gods. All the statues are of some humanoid cheetah-like creature with a burning look of hunger on its sleek face. These gods are depicted in all sorts of poses.This writer's firm opinion is that it would be unwise to visit the Maunetjer without their expressed invitation. To visit them without their consent could result in the death of any or all sent. Suppose you want to find out more information on a Maunetjer. In that case, it is my professional opinion that you shoot one in the marketplace and haul the corpse to your laboratory to study. To do otherwise would be a foolish mistake. May Allah keep and protect you from the hell that will surely follow you, no matter what you decide.
By Mother Combs3 years ago in Fiction
Wild Weedan
Along the outer edges of the Kingdom of Montebleu, in the thickest forest, live the Weedan. The Weedans are shy little critters who typically hide from intruders in their domain. They live in trees that they specially shape into cagelike structures of such intricate design. Weedans usually eat blackberries, mulberries, plums, and walnuts in the wild.
By Mother Combs3 years ago in Fiction
Tough Love
I was six when dad came home with a new bike, for me. My first new bike. And I thought, ‘Wow, this is terrific. And dad… he’s terrific, too.’
By Dennis Towers3 years ago in Fiction
The Messiest Divorce
Once upon a time in the small, picturesque town of Willowbrook, there lived a couple who were known far and wide for their love-hate relationship. Mark and Faith, once deeply in love, had grown to despise each other. Their marriage had turned into a daily battlefield, and it was only a matter of time before their union would crumble. Their messy divorce began one chilly autumn morning when Faith, unable to tolerate Mark's constant late-night escapades, finally decided to file for divorce. It was a decision that had been brewing for years, but neither of them had the courage to pull the trigger. Faith had her share of flaws, and so did Mark. Their relationship had become a toxic stew of resentment, mistrust, and bitterness. The news of their impending divorce spread like wildfire through Willowbrook. The town had never seen such a scandalous separation. Friends and neighbors were divided, taking sides in the brewing storm that was Mark and Faith's divorce. The messiness of their divorce was evident right from the start. When Faith hired a renowned divorce attorney known for his aggressive tactics, Mark responded by hiring a high-profile lawyer famous for his cunning strategies. The courtroom battles were fierce, with accusations and counter-accusations flying left and right. It was a spectacle that drew crowds of curious onlookers and gossip-hungry journalists. But it wasn't just the legal drama that made this divorce the messiest Willowbrook had ever seen. Mark and Faith seemed determined to outdo each other in the realm of pettiness. They fought over everything, from the house they once shared to the custody of their beloved bulldog, Winston. Each possession became a symbol of their desire to hurt the other. As the months passed, their divorce proceedings took bizarre turns. They squabbled over who should keep the collection of antique teacups, a quirky hobby they had both picked up during their happier days. There were heated arguments over who deserved the antique grandfather clock that had been passed down for generations in Faith's family. At one point, they even contested ownership of a half-eaten wedding cake topper, a symbolic reminder of the love they once had. Their arguments extended to social media, where Mark and Faith engaged in a war of words for all to see. Their Facebook and Twitter posts were filled with passive-aggressive jabs and incendiary comments, further fueling the gossip mill in Willowbrook. Friends and family members were torn between the two sides, often caught in the crossfire of their bitter disputes. The final straw came when Faith discovered that Mark had been secretly trying to sell her prized collection of vintage vinyl records, which he had never cared for but knew meant the world to her. In retaliation, she organized a yard sale featuring all of his treasured comic books and action figures, selling them for a fraction of their worth. It was a spiteful move that left Mark seething with anger. One fateful evening, the culmination of their messy divorce took an unexpected and shocking turn. As Mark stormed over to Faith's house to confront her about the yard sale, a verbal argument escalated into a physical altercation. Neighbors called the police, and both were arrested. Their once-loving relationship had deteriorated to such an extent that it had turned violent. The messy divorce of Mark and Faith had reached its bitter end, but it left a trail of broken friendships, tarnished reputations, and emotional scars in its wake. Willowbrook would never forget the drama that unfolded between this once-happy couple, and it served as a stark reminder of the destructive power of bitterness and resentment. In the end, Mark and Faith emerged from the wreckage of their marriage as two wounded souls, forever scarred by the messiest divorce Willowbrook had ever witnessed. Their story served as a cautionary tale to all who bore witness to their tumultuous journey, a reminder of the importance of communication, forgiveness, and finding a way to part amicably when love turns to ashes.Start writing...
By Rove3 years ago in Fiction
The Bridge
I grew up on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, a remote peninsula in those days, nestled between the Atlantic Ocean and Chesapeake Bay... and very Old World. The buildings were quaint, the roads narrow, the infrastructure bootstrapped and aging. It could be a spooky place for a kid of six, with its endless forests hiding the sky, and its twisty rivers hemming one in at every turn.
By Dennis Towers3 years ago in Fiction
Inside Out 2: Unveiling the Emotion-Packed Sequel - What to Expect in the Upcoming Movie
Introduction Pixar's "Inside Out" took audiences on a heartwarming and introspective journey into the mind, exploring the emotions that guide our actions and decisions. The announcement of "Inside Out 2" has sparked immense excitement among fans who are eager to delve back into the whimsical world of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger. In this article, we'll explore the anticipation surrounding the upcoming movie, speculate on potential plot developments, and discuss the emotional impact that "Inside Out 2" is likely to deliver.
By LEU3 years ago in Fiction
Wanker
The following notes were found in a Bedouin caravan’s collection by a team of explorers. We are not really sure what to make of it, but it might provide some light on the missing figure lately in our news feeds…
By Kendall Defoe 3 years ago in Fiction
The Sheppard
Kamloops, British Columbia July 1998 S unday night I was scheduled for a graveyard serving shift at the truck stop up on the hill. College classes took up most of my time, so I only worked a few nights a week to get some beer and clothes money. I hadn't been working there for very long and whenever you were new on any job there was always one coworker who wanted to make your life a living Hell.
By S.E.Linn3 years ago in Fiction
Leo, The Chipmunk’s Halloween Adventure
One chilly autumn day, a little chipmunk named Leo was getting ready for his annual pumpkin patch trip. Leo is a curious, adventurous chipmunk. He loves to collect acorns and meet new friends. Before heading out to Trick or Treat with friends, he would always pick a pumpkin to carve into a Jack-o’-lantern. Leo had to get a pumpkin before he could go trick or treating.
By Daphsam3 years ago in Fiction
Sparkletoots
A/N: I realize the Neolomicro Challenge closed yesterday. I managed to get one entry in and I hadn't intended to do another one, so that's ok. The fact is, while accompanying my wife to Hobby Lobby today, it occurred to me how her Christmas Spirit shines in the custom stockings she's constantly knitting this time of year. My mind being what is, something came to mind, and well, I'll just leave this right here.
By Dana Crandell3 years ago in Fiction
Stick 'em Up!
Nothing had gone right for her. She was woefully behind on her rent. She was unemployed. And she was without the car that had been repossessed. She was in collections. But none of that mattered.
By Gerard DiLeo3 years ago in Fiction