Sunrise

The air was cold and thick with smoke. It was damp from the coastal breeze. Everything around us was crumbling, and on fire, and loud. Julian held my hand as we ran. We’d been running for years, scared and full of anger. We scurried through alleys trying not to look back. Gunshots fired in the distance, though, and our curiosity always got the better of us. Had we gotten far enough? Were we safe from the riot? The war? For a moment, maybe. You couldn’t really get away from the revolution. Our propaganda was plastered in every remaining city after the war. How would it all end? How could it end? I didn’t know, but as long as Julian was with me, I had to believe it would all be okay.

“Eva, this way,” he whispered. His breath was shallow, visible in the freezing air. We ran around the corner of the demolished movie theater. The walls were sprawled on the ground, there was no ceiling anymore. We had our first kiss on the now-smashed food counter after hours. Our first date was there, we sat in broken seats, now burned, that were hidden in the corner, and he held my hand the entire time. We saw a documentary on religion and mythology and walked in circles outside for hours, wishing on dandelions and talking about the war across the world. Hoping that it wouldn’t involve us, hoping it would end soon. “Come on, angel.”

We threw the lids open to a recycling dumpster. Enough cardboard for a hiding spot, if only momentarily, to catch our breath. Julian hoisted me in. His black sling backpack came over the edge, then came Julian. His black hair and beard were scruffy and wet from washing tear gas out of his eyes. He was breathing hard as he pulled one of the dumpster lids down over us. We moved in silence rearranging the cardboard to conceal ourselves.

Julian held my hand as we lay in the cardboard pressed up against each other. Our breath was the only thing warm enough to keep our noses from falling off. He stared at me. His serious, dark brown eyes softened. The sounds of the riots were practically gone. It was like listening to a movie from another room with the door closed, but we knew it was much closer. The fighting would continue soon, but it was nice to revel in some sort of silence for once. We stayed still and quiet for what felt like an hour before we relaxed our bodies. Just a little.

Our arms were bruised, our fingerprints practically burned off of our hands, clothes ripped, and soot was everywhere. We’d been shot at, attacked, chased, tear gassed, and mugged, and yet we were still alive. Thank god we were still alive. We had a revolution to lead. It was tiring, though, exhausting really. Every day you’re torn down, beaten, tired and hungry, and some days you wonder what you’re fighting for and why you’re fighting.

We were at war with the law. Too many bodies of government in our short lifetimes had attempted to gain peace through violence, through the oppression of human rights. We were only in our thirties, fighting for our lives, fighting for peace, fighting for the rights of the people.

Everyone deserves life.

And liberty.

And the pursuit of happiness.

And yet our governments have maimed us of our liberty and strangled us with control. They’ve taken our pursuits into their hands and preached of happiness as they define it. They’ve taken life and kept it for themselves. They turned themselves into basilisks, feared and deadly. Welcome to the revolution.

Julian tugged my finger, his way of telling me he needed me closer. I took my time rearranging myself in the recycling to lay into his body. He was warm and I took comfort in his embrace, feeling safe for a moment. I lay one of my arms on his chest, fiddled with the zipper of his jacket. I tucked my other arm into my cargo jacket, across my stomach. Something was in my inner pocket and at first, I couldn’t think of what a plastic stick was doing in there.

Distant yelling and explosions echoed in the distance. The sound of people nearby filled the dumpster. Whose side were they on and who were they looking for?

“EYES OPEN, PEOPLE! THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE!”

Bangs of metal rang through our ears as the rioters outside in the alley smacked the big metal bin on their way by. Julian flinched and I buried my head in his arms. Terror rattled my bones--my breath quickened--I pulled Julian closer into me. He tightened his embrace and breathed slowly until the noise of the rioters faded. The gunshots in the distance ceased. Calm, but not for long.

Shadows danced on our skin and the bit of warmth from the lines of sunlight faded with the sunset. The cold crept in where the sun had been. I moved my hand closer to my body for warmth and felt the stick in my jacket again. Oh god. I had taken that test a week ago and had kept it with me since, intending to tell Julian as soon as possible. When I took it, he was out on a supply run and by the time he got back he was packing our go-bags. A raid was coming, and we had to run. I’d been sick for a month, but we just figured it was from the lack of food, or poor-quality scraps, or a cold. We couldn’t let anything slow us down or stop us. We had to just keep going. If we stopped too long, we’d get caught. Who could concentrate on something life changing like that when you were living every day without knowing if you’d wake up the next?

“Jule,” I whispered.

“Hmm?” He rubbed his cheek on the top of my head. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I let out a deep breath.

“I have to show you something.” I twisted to see him, pulled the pregnancy test out of my jacket, handed it to him with a shaking hand, and looked away. I looked back and he was staring wide-eyed at the tiny screen, silent.

Pregnant.

There was no mistaking that word. Pregnant. He raked a hand through his hair and his eyes were glassy within seconds. He dragged his hands down his face, pulling his skin taut toward his chin.

“You’re kidding.” He whispered and I shook my head. “We’re gonna have a riot-baby?”

He was joking at a time like this? What were we gonna do? How much would this slow us down? I was terrified. Pregnant. Right now? How the hell are we gonna do this?

Julian was all smiles, though. Everything in our small darkening space looked bright yellow. His positivity radiated, even in the darkest of places. I placed my hand on his cheek, wiped the tear that had fallen with my thumb.

“A riot-baby.” He repeated and kissed me, bruised my lips. He pulled me closer, and I wrapped my arms around him. He pecked my neck and belly with kisses.

“Happy anniversary, Jule.”

“That’s today?” He whispered with a smile and looked at his watch. He knew. Idiot. I prodded his arm with my finger. He chuckled and kissed me while he patted the pockets of his jacket. “Shit, where’d it go?”

“It’s okay, you didn’t have to get me anything, riot-man,” I smiled and stuck my tongue out at him.

“But I did, riot-lady, angel, love of my life, mother of our riot-baby.” He kissed me again and pulled something out of his pocket. We’d never had a normal anniversary in all the years we’d been together. We met in a protest for the removal of a man from office back when we were teenagers, and our first date wasn’t for another two years after. We were running out of the theater that we had snuck into after hours when he asked me if I’d go out with him… In this same dumpster.

“Julian!” A voice came with heavy footsteps and an even heavier breath. Quieter than the previous voices, trying to simultaneously yell and whisper. We froze and listened, “Julian, where are you?!” Davin.

We’d been separated when Red Street burst into a river of flames. Thank god he was alive. Julian was worried about his best friend. You could see it in his face any time we were left alone with our thoughts. They’d been friends since they were thirteen and loved each other like brothers. Fought like brothers, but loved each other like brothers.

Julian held my hands and placed something metal in them, keeping our hands locked. Davin walked around outside, and I felt Julian tense up. I knew he wanted to see Davin, but he also wanted to keep us hidden. His eyes filled with worry and his mouth thinned to a line.

“We have to finish this thing,” Julian whispered. He moved one hand to my cheek, “You need to stay safe. Both of you.” He darted his eyes to my stomach.

“I can still run. I can throw smoke. We’ve been over this. I’m by your side, always. I’m not useless just because I’m… pregnant.”

He shook his head, fast and nervous.

“You’re right. But we have to be more careful now. Calculate our steps. We have less than nine months to end this. To make a world that’s safe. For us, for our friends, for the next generations…” He placed his hand on my stomach. “Davin and I can stake out and make a plan. We need to find some place that’s safe enough to hide for more than a day.”

“And I’m just supposed to sit here?”

“Plan a rally speech. We need to get everyone on the same page. Give me til the morning.” I’d never seen such fear in his eyes, such power and fire behind his concern.

“Morning…” My stomach didn’t feel right. My heart panged.

“Sunrise.”

A gentle metallic knock came. Julian shook the gift that was still in my hand. I looked down at it to find a gold locket, shaped like a heart. Dandelions were engraved around the letters EJ in the center. In it were two pictures. One of him on the left, his tongue out and his hair wild. He let me do his makeup that day and his eyeliner was smudged down his cheeks. The other was me, with a flower crown and curly, messy brown hair, blowing a kiss. He took that picture during our first protest as a couple.

“Julian, please tell me you’re in there.” Davin’s voice was almost a whisper. He was risking his life by being exposed. By making any noise at all.

“Sunrise.” I put the locket around my neck and met Julian’s eyes, “Let’s end this.”

We nodded once and he pressed his forehead to mine. His hand raked through my hair, undoing a few knots that tugged my head. I pressed my lips to his and breathed him in. He wrapped me in his arms, and we took three deep breaths.

We could do it; we could end it. We didn’t get this far to just get this far.

“Let’s end this.”

He handed me his extra pistol, grabbed his bag and climbed out of our cardboard cover, out of the dumpster. His feet hit the ground and Davin’s chest slammed into Julian’s. The sound of the boys hugging sounded like freedom. The sight of Julian covering me back up with cardboard felt like hell. My stomach dropped when I couldn’t hear their footsteps any longer. I held the gun over my stomach and fiddled with the locket with my other hand.

“Sunrise.” I whispered to myself.