Subsistent Lies

When Lady Gabriella Fairavard entered the ballroom I was filled with anger. I was angry because I had become the laughing stock of the court because some woman had decided to pass herself off as a knight, and take the place of one of the Kings most disreputable court members. I probably could have handled being laughed at better if Darius had shared in some part of the laughter, but no one dared laugh at the King’s best and favorite, especially when he hadn’t let the defeat by a woman throw off the rest of his matches. I couldn’t believe that I had let a woman get the best of me. Every time I had glanced her way I faltered and lost a match. Even the victories towards the end didn’t save me the humiliation I endured. The lady infuriated me more so than any woman ever had. When Darius suggested we should pay our respects to her, I was reluctant. Reluctant because I knew underneath her beauty there was a tongue on her. I learned that the hard way when I approached her in the square before the tourney. Eventually Darius persuaded me to accompany him in paying respects to her, when he pointed out if I didn’t that the whole court wouldn’t let me live the fact that I let being defeated by a lady throw off the rest of my matches.

As soon as we approached her I knew I had made a mistake. Once again her beauty captivated me just as it did in the square. To save myself from anymore embarrassment should people get the idea I lusted for this woman, I acted indifferent towards her and kept my mind far away from the conversation going on between her and Darius. My mind could have been in the afterlife and I still couldn’t get Gabriella Fairavard out of my head. She was far different from any of the women I had encountered in court, just as Darius pointed out when she had taken another stab at my pride which sent me pummeling down to reality. A part of me wanted to yell at her and put her in her place, but I knew if I did that rumors would start just as Lady Gabriella pointed out when I did not permit her to leave my company, after Darius had dismissed himself.

I was shocked at how fast my hand had shot out to grab her arm when she turned to leave. When Darius and I were walking towards her all I wanted was to get out of her company as quickly as possible, but when my wish came true I didn’t want her to leave. I didn’t know what it was about Gabriella, if she was any other lady I could have ignored her and treated her with the respect befitting any lady no matter how rude, but she was different. She started a fire within me whenever I laid eyes on her. Whether it was anger or lust I couldn’t tell the difference. You better watch out Jacqui’is this one might ruin that privacy barrier you have put over yourself, letting everyone see into something you don’t want them to see. Darius’s words before he had left our company were right and I would be damned if one woman no matter how beautiful, how nerve-racking, how sensual she was would ruin the life and reputation I worked so hard to establish after my loss. Wanting to know what I was feeling so I could make peace with it before my life was ruined I asked her to dance. Reluctantly she accepted.

Leading her onto the dance floor I ignored the look Darius gave me as he lead Gabriella’s sister Isabella onto the floor. The dance floor was crowded so I had to pull her close. I cursed myself as I caught the scent of her. She smelled like nature; like a nymph born from the Earth’s dirt, a flower, the rain, the springtime. I pulled her away from me so that I would not be enticed by her fragrance. Feeling me pull away she looked up at me. “Is there something the matter my lord?”

“No, not at all my lady. Tell me where are the Gulliver brothers this night?”

“They are at home which I think is for the best.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked looking down at her. Damn those eyes!

“Because when Colin finds out his bride-to-be disguised herself as him and won the tourney he will be in a fit of rage and will need his brother to calm him. Like you he does not take to having his character diminished by anyone especially a woman.”

Whether it was because she had compared me to the likes of a Gulliver and I wanted to prove to her that I was not a Gulliver by letting her feel my body against hers, or because she said she was going to marry a Gulliver and I couldn’t stand a woman of her character being married to the character of a Gulliver, I pulled her close to me. She rested her head on my chest, she was a perfect fit; her being in my arms felt right. “So you are to be wed to Colin Gulliver?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so.” She answered a hint of sadness in her voice.

“You do not sound so happy.”

“I am not.”

“I do not blame you. I do not believe anyone would blame you for not being happy about marrying a Gulliver.”

Gabriella took her head off my chest and looked up at me. I stole a glance at her for a brief moment. Her eyes were filled with tears. I looked away because I couldn’t stand to see a lady cry, especially a lady I wanted to take and make forget about her worries. Sighing she placed her head back on my chest. “Don’t get me wrong my lord? If I had to marry somebody I am glad it is my best friend, but the thing is I never wished to be married.”

My heart sunk. What’s wrong with you Jacqui’is? Get a hold of yourself. It’s not like you fancy this lady. Do you? “I shook my head clear. “Then why are you?”

“To repay my family’s debt to Lord Gavin by marrying one of his sons.”

“How did your family get indebted to Lord Gavin?”

“I am afraid my family will never know.” I felt a tear drop into my shirt, I held her tighter trying to comfort her.

We danced in silent well into the next song. As the next song began I felt a tap on my shoulder. My first thought was to tell whoever to find someone else to dance with because Gabriella Fairavard was not feeling well, but I quickly bit my tongue as I turned. “If you don’t mind Blaine, but I’m afraid Lady Gabriella promised me a dance.”

Bowing, I turned, kissed Gabriella’s hand, wiped away her last tear, and then handed her over to the King. Going to the edge of the ballroom I got me a goblet of wine and watched Gabriella from afar. Looking away so people wouldn’t think anything I watched Darius for awhile. It was apparent he was having a good time with Lady Isabella. He was laughing merrily and hadn’t once changed dancing partners or stopped to rest his knee. In fact I think Isabella had been the only one he danced with for more than two songs this night; Lady Joan was growing green with envy. It is too bad Darius has sworn off women. I do believe it would fill that void in his life over the loss of his sister. I thought as I took a sip of wine and scanned the dance floor looking for Gabriella. I was glad that I didn’t need a woman to fill my void over the loss of my family. All I needed was my land and my title to keep me busy so that I wouldn’t have to relive my loss after I had learned to accept it.

I scanned the dance floor a second time, but Gabriella was no where to be found. “She is on the terrace.” A voice said from behind me.

I turned and saw the King. “Who is on the terrace my liege?”

“Why Lady Gabriella of course.”

“Why would I want to know where she is?”

The King just looked at me. “She might need a little cheering up.” He turned and left me alone.

Contemplating what to do I headed towards the terrace. Outside I spotted Gabriella looking into the garden. She must have been crying because at the sound of my footsteps she wiped her face and turned trying to smile brightly. “What brings you onto the terrace Count Jacqui’is?”

“Please call me Blaine, my lady.” I said looking at her tear-stained face.

“And please call me Gabby.” She said looking away from me.

“What is the matter Gabby? Why are you crying?” I asked going to stand next to her.

She wouldn’t answer or look at me, so I cupped her chin in my hand and made her look at me. Whatever had happened had made her change from the strong woman who bested me into a scared little child. I pulled her into my arms and stroked her back trying to comfort her. She broke down crying harder than she had on the dance floor. I lead her to a bench and I let her sit there crying into my lap. After a while she had stopped and sat up. “Thank you, Blaine.” She said feeling a little awkward about calling me by my first name as she stood up and tried to freshen up.

“My pleasure Gabby. Is there anything I can do?” I asked standing up with her.

She smiled radiantly apparently feeling a lot better. “No you have done enough. Thank you.” She stood on her tiptoes and gave me quick kiss on the cheek and then left.

I watched her leave and then went to look at the garden. You better watch out Jacqui’is this one might ruin that privacy barrier you have put over yourself, letting everyone see into something you don’t want them to see. I was afraid it was too late for that. I went back inside and finished the rest of the evening keeping in company with the nobility.