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Strutting

For Belle's Inside the Animal's Mind Challenge

By Hannah MoorePublished about a month ago 2 min read
22
Strutting
Photo by Lenstravelier on Unsplash

Ace, amazing, awesome. I am the dog’s bollocks. There’s nothing wrong in admitting what’s true. Confidence is sexy anyway. Not that I need help in that department. Look at me. Ha! You can’t NOT, can you? Look at me look at me look at me! You want a little side action? A little shimmy? Wait, check this out. Watching? I said are you watching? Oh yes. Did you see? I can do it again, watch. Yeah, it’s like I vibrate everything. I mean everything. You like that? You want to find out? Where are you going? Where are you…..

Disappointing. Never mind, let’s see who else is about. While I am in full bloom, as it were. Hey! Ladies! Over here! You want to see me flex? Awe come on. You have to admit, I have got it going on! No, no, that’s cool, I get it, you can admire beauty without wanting to get jiggly with it. Not my type anyway, no offence. Wrong species. You hens are cute, I’ll give you that, but you’re not the queen I’m looking for. I like ‘em a bit longer in the leg, you know? A bit more glamour, if you know what I mean. You can tell MY princess by the crown on her head. Although, who is THIS handsome roast dinner? Long neck, voluptuous body. Extraordinary grey feathers! Hey honey, you uh, you see anything you like? You like a bit of a feather quiver? You see how the sun catches? That colour? That’s all me. Not every guy can get a colour like this you know.

Oh crap. That’s a sodding wheelbarrow. Please tell me those hens did not see that. Just keep it casual, keep it casual. Just turning, giving them the full display, that’s all, front and back. Didn’t even see that wheelbarrow there, pure coincidence. Are they laughing? It’s so hard to tell with those birds. Just going to, you know, walk away. I’ve lost it now anyway. I mean, to be fair, this tail looks pretty magnificent even folded away, right? It’s not even all about that is it. Have you checked out my chest and neck? You should. You could lose yourself in my shoulders, that blue-green sheen.

Did anyone else just hear the feed bucket?

*

Author's note - when I was a child, we lived for a while on a property with a rag tag assortment of poultry. An ever fluctuating flock of chickens, a handful of ducks, a peacock named Percy, and his recalcitrant mate. Poor Percy was a frustrated lover, and would display his assets to anything and everything, including, yes, a wheelbarrow. Eventually, the peahen was witnessed escorting two infant peas about the place, before both sadly went missing, but I can only assume Percy achieved some satisfaction at least once in his ever hopeful life.

This was written for Belle's Inside the Animal's Mind Challenge, because mine has had enough for today, and a simpler mind seemed like a nice place to be.

Microfiction
22

About the Creator

Hannah Moore

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Comments (18)

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  • Shirley Belk6 days ago

    Good for Percy!

  • Belle6 days ago

    🎉🥳🎉 THE RESULTS ARE IN! 🎉🥳🎉 The results for "Inside the Animal's Mind [an unofficial challenge] have been posted! You can view them here! https://vocal.media/writers/results-inside-the-animal-s-mind-an-unofficial-challenge

  • Lamar Wiggins17 days ago

    Lol, the wheelbarrow story got me. Might as well test the waters wherever you can, even if it is an inanimate object.

  • L.C. Schäferabout a month ago

    This is terrific! I know some cocks like this, just saying.

  • Esala Gunathilakeabout a month ago

    Congrats! Nice work.

  • Paul Stewartabout a month ago

    I saw bollocks in the little preview as I was gazing at your profile lol and was drawn into it. LOL. If ever there was a clear insight into the mind of a peacock...this was it. I love the narrative...the self-assuredness that turns to slight desperation and anxiety. The fact that it is based in part on a real peacock you knew lol. Wonderful stuff, really, Hannah! Came for the bollocks, stayed for the story. NEver thought I'd write that! hahaha!

  • Andrea Corwin about a month ago

    Poor Percy!! And the poor babies. Nice work!

  • D.K. Shepardabout a month ago

    What a fitting and fantastically crafted peacock voice! And funny parts inspired by real experience! Very nice!

  • Kodahabout a month ago

    Ohh this is outstanding!! 💓

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    Oh no, it's so sad that they went missing 🥺 Loved your story!

  • Caroline Cravenabout a month ago

    Haha! Struggling to decide if I love your story or the author’s note best! Great one!

  • Belleabout a month ago

    I love this! The way he skitters from one thought to the next, and even reassures his ego after rejection, perfectly encapsulates how I'd imagine the peacock to feel 😂 On a vacation as a child, I remember seeing a particularly eager peacock chasing after any hen that moved, and this takes me right back to that. Thank you for entering!

  • Brilliant voice and story. Years ago, neighbours’ peacocks roamed freely, they were magnificent to look at but extremely annoying yelling OW, OW, OW!😳😵‍💫🤨

  • Dana Crandellabout a month ago

    We had friends who raised peacocks when I was young. This is absolutely the attitude of a male. The wheelbarrow gave me a good laugh.

  • John Coxabout a month ago

    This is a delightful and hilarious story, Hannah. Loved the backstory, too. Except maybe for the sad bits.

  • Lana V Lynxabout a month ago

    This was really great! Reminded me of a tale in the Arabian Nights of a narcissistic peacock who was convinced he could sing.

  • Rachel Deemingabout a month ago

    Excellent! I truly hope that Percy eased his frustration somehow. Was thinking about you today.

  • Christy Munsonabout a month ago

    Delightful story, and backstory as well. Poor Percy. Funny!

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