Strutting

Ace, amazing, awesome. I am the dog’s bollocks. There’s nothing wrong in admitting what’s true. Confidence is sexy anyway. Not that I need help in that department. Look at me. Ha! You can’t NOT, can you? Look at me look at me look at me! You want a little side action? A little shimmy? Wait, check this out. Watching? I said are you watching? Oh yes. Did you see? I can do it again, watch. Yeah, it’s like I vibrate everything. I mean everything. You like that? You want to find out? Where are you going? Where are you…..

Disappointing. Never mind, let’s see who else is about. While I am in full bloom, as it were. Hey! Ladies! Over here! You want to see me flex? Awe come on. You have to admit, I have got it going on! No, no, that’s cool, I get it, you can admire beauty without wanting to get jiggly with it. Not my type anyway, no offence. Wrong species. You hens are cute, I’ll give you that, but you’re not the queen I’m looking for. I like ‘em a bit longer in the leg, you know? A bit more glamour, if you know what I mean. You can tell MY princess by the crown on her head. Although, who is THIS handsome roast dinner? Long neck, voluptuous body. Extraordinary grey feathers! Hey honey, you uh, you see anything you like? You like a bit of a feather quiver? You see how the sun catches? That colour? That’s all me. Not every guy can get a colour like this you know.

Oh crap. That’s a sodding wheelbarrow. Please tell me those hens did not see that. Just keep it casual, keep it casual. Just turning, giving them the full display, that’s all, front and back. Didn’t even see that wheelbarrow there, pure coincidence. Are they laughing? It’s so hard to tell with those birds. Just going to, you know, walk away. I’ve lost it now anyway. I mean, to be fair, this tail looks pretty magnificent even folded away, right? It’s not even all about that is it. Have you checked out my chest and neck? You should. You could lose yourself in my shoulders, that blue-green sheen.

Did anyone else just hear the feed bucket?

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Author's note - when I was a child, we lived for a while on a property with a rag tag assortment of poultry. An ever fluctuating flock of chickens, a handful of ducks, a peacock named Percy, and his recalcitrant mate. Poor Percy was a frustrated lover, and would display his assets to anything and everything, including, yes, a wheelbarrow. Eventually, the peahen was witnessed escorting two infant peas about the place, before both sadly went missing, but I can only assume Percy achieved some satisfaction at least once in his ever hopeful life.

This was written for Belle's Inside the Animal's Mind Challenge, because mine has had enough for today, and a simpler mind seemed like a nice place to be.