Stocking Stuffer

We drove up the snowy, winding road towards the cozy A-frame cabin. The curvy road gave me a little bit of an upset stomache. I chewed a stick of peppermint gum to calm my nauseous belly.

Finally, we were here! As we entered, we took in the elegant Christmas decorations, added as requested. Even a Christmas tree decorated to gold and silver perfection stood next to the fireplace. Setting my bag on the glossy, wooden floor, I walked across the room to the large window framing the glorious view outside. We were high up in the Porcupine Mountains and it had begun to snow. Large flakes settled on the branches of pine trees.

It had been just over a year since the horrific miscarriage. The tragedy had occurred between Thanksgiving and Christmas. At Thanksgiving, I was pregnant, proud to show off my just forming belly-bump to my family. My husband and I both looked forward to the future, discussing plans and possible name choices for the precious life I carried. And then, two weeks later, our dreams were dashed in a painful, bloody mess surrounded by gift wrap and bows.

We were both devastated, but tried to power through our Christmas gathering plans with family and friends. Most people were kind and sympathetic, but attending those jovial events broke my heart.

The next Thanksgiving, we made it to the traditional gatherings to celebrate as expected, but Henry knew I was taking it really hard. I didn’t know which was worse - the sympathetic looks from relatives, or the well-intended comments alluding to the fact that I should be over the loss by now. Henry, my super-supportive husband, suggested a change of scenery for Christmas, He was able to surprise me with this magnificent cabin! Peaceful and glorious, we would be spending the week here to celebrate Christmas and the New Year. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely optimistic. I couldn’t stop smiling, thinking about the news I had to share with Henry.

We unpacked our bags and placed our handful of gifts for each other underneath the beautiful tree. We sat cozied by the fire with hot chocolate and a board game. We agreed no cell phones would interrupt our quiet weekend. No obligations were allowed to distract us from each other. I had stopped drinking any alcohol as soon as I confirmed my first pregnancy, and hadn’t resumed yet. Henry also gave it up. We celebrated with hot cocoa or sparkling grape juice.

This is just what we needed! Some cozy, relaxing time together, away from the constant turmoil of real-life, and the crushing gazes of people.

We had hung our own two stockings from the mantle above the fireplace shortly after we arrived. I noticed mine was already filled. I would have to sneak down from the loft later to fill Henry’s. I hoped he he would like what Santa brought. I hid my smile behind my raised mug, my gaze settled upon the crackling fire.

***

I felt like a little kid, prancing down the steps from the loft on Christmas morning. My eyes sparkling as Henry greeted me with a warm mug of coffee. We sat on the couch in front of the warm fire, sipping from our cups, while we exchanged the gifts we had bought for each other. I received a new journal for my writing, along with a pen and some books I had been wanting to read. I gave Henry a new shirt, some warm socks and the canvas laptop carrying case that I noticed him eyeing. It was then time for the stockings. He handed me mine, which contained a gorgeous pair of earrings. I smiled and blushed and thanked him profusely, nearly lost in my excitement for giving him my gift.

Barely able to contain my giddiness, I handed Henry his. He pulled out the baby booties and, at first, gave me an uncomprehending stare, then his face broke into a grin as he reached over to hug me tight. I sunk into his embrace with comfort and tears. Tears of relief and joy.

I had confirmed the pregnancy with tests the day before we left for the cabin.

We spent the remainder of our stay discussing future plans and baby names, bringing in the New Year filled with optimism and hope. By the next holiday season, we would be three.

Thank you for reading!