Starshine Aegis Rising

A pit opened up in Jessie’s stomach.

She had dreamed of this day coming for so long now. Most of those dreams were nightmares, but the difference was becoming harder and harder to determine for her. The dread she felt stepping out of her dad’s car began to multiply as she looked across the school courtyard. Not a single face was familiar, which was to be expected for a transfer student. But Jessie wasn’t just a transfer student. She knew that if anyone here found out about her past, she’d have to switch schools again just to avoid the vitriol and abuse. She had to keep a low profile. She effectively had to become a ghost to her peers. That would be hard, with her shaggy dark brown hair and her piercings on her eyebrow and nose. Infringing on the dress code probably wasn’t the best of ideas, but Jessie had wanted to make a statement, and this was it.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She thought to herself.

She looked back at her father, hoping to find some solace in him. Maybe a look of confidence or encouragement. But all she saw when she looked back was disappointment. That’s all she saw in him lately. He was a very quiet man, keeping to himself and burying himself in his work. But when it came to his family, he was always warm and loving. One day, all of that changed. His eldest daughter, Mary, left for medical school and would rarely return any calls. Only visiting on holidays seemed to be her way of satiating the desire her parents had of seeing her. Then Jessie began to grow and change, as all teenagers do. But not in the way her parents hoped. Jessie turned away from the car, facing her new reality.

A quiet but confident strut pushed Jessie forward towards the front entrance. Students were lined up around the side of the school, either trying to transfer at the last minute or just loitering with friends. Everyone wore their black blazer with red trim, emblazoned with the Metro County Technical Academy crest. Jessie rubbed the crest that adorned her left breast and quickly resumed her waltz inside. The halls felt cavernous and great, like she had walked into an ornate castle. This castle happened to be decorated with “Welcome Back” posters and dark red lockers, but the air of importance and royalty was felt by everyone. Getting into this school takes a lot of effort, or just knowing the right people. In Jessie’s case, it was a bit of both.

She walked towards the registration office, hoping to get her schedule and identification card before the rush. The office smelled of peppermint and light cigarette smoke. Smoking inside was against the rules, but no one at this school had any reverence for rules according to stories Jessie was told. She fanned the smell away from her face, hoping she could ignore it long enough to do any extra paperwork they had for her.

Jessie walked up to the first person she saw, an elderly woman dressed in a blue flowered patterned dress. Her hair was tied up in a tight bun and she chewed loudly on her gum. She flipped through the latest copy of People Magazine, blowing bubbles and popping them. The smell of cigarettes grew stronger as Jessie approached. “Hello, is this where we get our ID’s?”

The woman looked up. “Yes, you’re here quite early.”

The look on her face was one of apathy. Just like Jessie, she probably didn’t want to be here this early. But duty calls.

“Name?” The woman asked.

“Jessie Young.”

The woman flipped through a photo book filled with ID cards. She looked up at Jessie and back at the ID. With a look of confusion mixed with curiosity, she handed the ID card to Jessie. The photo on the ID was old, a picture submitted by whoever pulled the strings to get Jessie into the school on such short notice. But the photo wasn’t the part that bothered Jessie. It was the capital ‘M’ next to sex.

“Have a good first day, sir.” The woman said as she went back to her magazine.

All of the hope Jessie had built up died slowly inside her. What a great first start to her day.

Taking the ID from the woman, Jessie walked out of the office as meekly as she could. It had been a long while since she had been called “sir”, about a couple years in fact. Jessie knew from a young age she was in the wrong body, and once she was able to rectify that, she took all the necessary steps to begin to live life as her truest self. With support from her sister, Jessie began to leave her shell. For the most part, her social transition went well, but hang ups like that still haunted her no matter what she did. She’d probably have to wait until after high school to have her gender legally changed. She was lucky to have been given the name Jessie, because that probably would've needed to be changed as well.

She walked down the empty halls, eyes fully focused on the tiles under her feet. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. The loneliest march in the loneliest place. Just as she was turning the corner to go back into the courtyard, she bumped directly into another student, knocking them both into the ground. Oh shit. It was one thing to be misgendered on your first day, but setting a bad first impression as well? You’d be better off just not showing up.

“I’m so sorry, oh my God.” Jessie said, reaching out to help up the person she knocked over.

The first thing Jessie noticed about the girl was her pristine outfit. At least, it was pristine before Jessie knocked her over like a total klutz. God, is that what she was now? The girl’s well manicured pink nailed hands brushed whatever was on the front of her blazer. Her blazer was different from the other students, being the complete inverse in color. The badge on the left breast was adorned with gold trim, and the cuff links were also gold. Was she some big wigs daughter?

“Oh, it’s fine.” The girl said with a smile. She stood up on her own meeting Jessie eye to eye.

Her long black hair was braided, hanging down past the hem of her blazer. Her eyelashes batted at Jessie, warm brown eyes comforting her. Her white teeth shone brightly behind her wonderful smile. The accent was strange, Jessie had never heard anything like it before. This girl had something about her, something that made you stop and go ‘wow, who is that?’

She stuck out her hand. “I’m Mari.”

Jessie returned the gesture, shaking Mari’s hand. All the tension in the moment melted away, and the two girls found common ground.

Mari walked Jessie to the main hallway, talking with her along the way. The two exchanged funny first day stories, and even phone numbers. Jessie never thought she’d meet the class president, let alone become her friend. Possibly. Maybe. That was still up in the air. But progress nonetheless!

The rest of the day felt like a blur. Classes came and went, lunch period was full of noise and laughter, and free period was the perfect time for Jessie to escape the judging eyes of her peers. Making her way to the library, Jessie pulled her hood over her head to avoid being perceived. Jessie passed, but only barely. A full face of makeup would’ve done her a world of good, but unfortunately her strict Korean parents didn’t allow her to own any. A care package from her sister would arrive in a few weeks, but the impression would already be set by then. Jessie the trans girl. Not fully accepted by anyone. The thoughts bounced around in her head over and over and over until she reached the library’s entrance.

Right next to her, she noticed a girl struggling with the book return slot. She grunted and strained to push the books down in the slot, her sweat-lined hands barely able to grip the rail. Jessie thought about stepping in to help, but she honestly didn’t want to be bothered. Maybe someone else would come along. Just as Jessie opened the door to the library, the girl shouted in the loudest voice possible “A LITTLE HELP HERE PLEASE?!”

Jessie was startled at how loud she could get. Just based on her shorter stature, the girl seemed like she was meek and quiet. Her wire framed binocular-sized glasses dwarfed her small, freckled face. Her hair was tied up in a single braid draped down her back, and instead of a blazer she wore a denim jacket with the crest sewn onto her right sleeve. Never judging a book by its cover would’ve done Jessie so much good in this situation, but the irony just hadn’t dawned on her yet.

Jessie stepped over, pushing the rail with one gesture. The slot closed, sending the books tumbling down into the chute. The girl did her best to catch her breath, the activity obviously taking a lot out of her. She looked up at Jessie with her deep emerald eyes and smiled. “Thanks sis.” she said with as much energy as she could muster.

The two girls quickly fled inside the library, watching the clouds gather for eventual rain. The atmosphere was cozy and warm, the lights dimmed and the smell of pages filling the air. Jessie sat next to her new friend in the far corner of the third floor, right next to the historical fiction section. She removed her hood and began to speak. “My name’s Jessie. I’m pretty new around here.”

The girl glanced back nonchalantly. “Oh, I can tell. You give me ‘new girl’ vibes. My name’s Hana by the way. Hana Rashad.”

Jessie smiled slightly, impressed by Hana’s lack of enthusiasm. She gave the impression that she had done this a thousand times before, and had now become bored of it. Jessie felt a tinge of sadness, her first day so far had been a mixed bag. A mixed bag full of horse shit. At her last school, she had trouble adjusting to living her new life while everyone held on to the old her. She needed a clean break, and when her father saw an opportunity to open a bigger restaurant in Metro City, Jessie saw an opportunity to start fresh. New county, new friends, new life. But it seemed the same problems from her past kept catching up to her. She had to take charge of her life. Something had to change.

“Wanna be friends?” Jessie asked, interrupting Hana’s reading.

“Huh?”

“Do you want to be my friend?” Jessie asked, making sure not to slur or stumble over her words. She turned her body toward Hana, looking her dead in the eyes. She smiled with all the warmth and kindness she could muster, and continued. “I figured I would ask, since we’re here and you’re like one of the only people here I know on a first name basis.”

Hana looked at Jessie for a few moments before responding. “Do you enjoy gardening?”

“Uh, not particularly, no.”

“Well, then I have something I can teach you!” Hana said, grabbing Jessie’s hand and leading her toward the home improvement section down below.

Jessie tossed her knapsack onto the floor as she entered her room. Diving into the bed, she released a heavy sigh, curling into the fetal position while gripping her pillow. She knew her parents wouldn’t be home for a while, which gave her ample time alone with her feelings and thoughts. So, Hana and Mari. Two girls who were the only ones to show Jessie any real kindness all day. Most of her classmates either ignored her or did as much as they possibly could to not interact with her. Metro County Tech was a school heralded as a “wonderful bedrock for diversity in academia”. And yet, Jessie felt like she stood alone.

Of course, there were other queer kids at the school, but most of them avoided Jessie like the plague. And the few that did speak to her only did so when no one was looking. It felt like they were gatekeeping the true community from Jessie. Almost as if they didn’t want to invite her in to risk themselves being ostracized. Jessie also couldn’t help but notice the stark lack of people of color at the school. Outside of Hana and Mari, she could count on two hands and a foot the amount of non-white students she saw today. Maybe today was just an off day for the bedrock of academic diversity.

After allowing her mind to wander and her self-esteem to dip and wane, Jessie did her chores and stepped out of the house for her nightly walk. Since she moved to Metro County, she always managed to get a walk in during the day. But now that junior year was in full swing, the day walks became night walks. Behind the cul-de-sac she lived in was a trail that led into the hills. This was her way to escape all the anxiety she faced and clear her head. Much better than trying to meditate while her parents played poker with the neighbors.

Reaching the top of the highest hill, Jessie laid out her blanket and set up her stargazing spot. Back when she was younger, she would stargaze on the roof with her sister Mary and try to spot constellations. It was Mary that shaped her interest in the stars and astrology. Every full moon, Mary and Jessie would pop some popcorn and make it a special night, just gazing at the stars and exchanging their hopes and dreams. Even sometimes their fears. It was during a full moon that Jessie came out as trans to her sister, and the two shed tears for hours. Laughing and crying the pain away. Jessie could’ve used a supportive figure like Mary right about now. Ignoring the tears welling in her eyes, Jessie began dialing her sister's number, hoping she wasn’t busy.

Jessie let the phone ring four times before hanging up. The tears began to fall shortly after.

Just then, the sky ripped open. A blinding, bright white light tore across the starry night sky, streaking down from above. Other smaller lights followed, creating a starry rain. Jessie wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, marveling at what she was witnessing. Her ears were ringing from the loud pop of the light, but that wasn’t enough to break her focus. As she stared at the cosmic phenomenon, she noticed one of the lights growing brighter and brighter. It fell quicker than the others, rapidly changing direction and moving faster and faster…towards Jessie!

In a split second, Jessie dived out of the way, and the light shattered the ground around her. She gripped her arm in pain, landing on it awkwardly. It may have been broken but that honestly didn’t phase her at this moment. What did, was figuring out if she almost got crushed by a meteorite. Forcing herself on her feet, Jessie approached the crater, peering deep into the dark abyss. The light was all but gone, instead replaced by a humanoid figure. Draped in white clothing, the figure looked like an angel. Of course, not the biblically accurate one which Jessie quickly noted then suppressed. As Jessie began to move away from the crater, a voice rang out in the recesses of her mind.

“JESSIE YOUNG. APPROACH.”

Jessie felt her limbs move on their own. All sense of control she felt she had quickly dissipated as her body climbed down into the crater. She wanted to weep, cry out for help, but she just couldn’t. Not even a slight scream could escape from her lips. Whatever this was, it had fully taken hold of her. Her hand reached down and touched the forehead of the silver haired figure. She couldn’t tell what exactly it was. It wasn’t human, but with a full face of makeup it could pass. Jessie would’ve chuckled at the thought if she had control of her faculties.

A light pulsed from the beings forehead, and all of Jessie’s vision was engulfed in white. She looked around, touching herself in confusion. She noticed the same silver haired white figure hovering next to her, a judgmental look on her face.

“Are you done?” The figure asked. “This is important so I need you to focus.”

Before Jessie could even think to panic, the silver haired figure waved a hand, erasing Jessie’s mouth. The panic came anyway, with Jessie trying her hardest to scream and shout at losing her fucking mouth.

“My name is Astaria. Long before the dawn of your universe, I existed. I was once a paragon of the stars, known as the Starshine Aegis. We defended the universe from all threats, and we used our light to do so. The only reason this current universe even exists the way it does is because we watched over it as it was born.”

Astaria waved her hand again, allowing Jessie to have her mouth back. Jessie coughed and hacked, catching her breath from the anxiety attack she just had. Finding the courage, she finally asked the question building in her mind. “What does that have to do with me?”

Astaria fixed her lips before finally answering, staring into Jessie with her starry black eyes. “I am dying. And I need you to replace me. I am the last living Starshine Aegis.”

Jessie’s body erupted with light, shedding her clothing and skin. Her shaggy dark brown hair grew longer and longer, becoming a shiny silvery-blue. Her deep brown eyes became a bright golden color, along with the tips of her fingers. She could feel her body becoming more and more…ideal. Her nose sharpened and her hips widened. She finally grew a few inches taller, feeling a strange power pulse inside of her. She had changed. She had evolved. Feeling in control again, Jessie jumped, shooting far into the night sky. She was flying, soaring above Metro County like the stars she watched fall.

Whatever this ‘Starshine Aegis’ business was, if it came with a body like this? And the ability to fly? Jessie could easily get used to this.