It’s crazy how life can make a drastic change within a split second. One moment you’ll have a lifetime of experiences and memories with the closest people you love, and within an instant, their lives are taken from you. It’s like your entire world has been flipped upside down. A void you wish to escape from like it never happened. But in reality it did. The hardest part is accepting the fact that they’re really gone and finding peace within to let go and move forward. “I’m still struggling with that part of acceptance”. My dad used to tell me how everything in life happens for a reason, that everything you see in nature or in life itself, is all designed and connected for a specific reason. He also told me to be mindful of the energy you put out into the world, because good or bad, they all have consequences. I’m still trying to wrap my head on what would be the cause of my dad’s murder. “Why did my father have to get taken from my mom and I”? “What is the purpose or the connection behind his death”? Those questions still linger in my mind. My name is Ja’Nya Howard and this is my story of where it all started.
My dad’s name was Samuel Howard. He was a family oriented man that would go beyond to help provide for his family and others in need. He was kind, gentle, loving, and very protective over my mother and I. He has always been a stand up guy that everyone loved to be around. Him and my mother, Analyn Garcia, met when they were teenagers. My mother and her parents had moved from the Philippines and here to Tulsa, Oklahoma USA, where my father grew up. They started out as friends, and eventually became a couple. They were high school sweethearts that loved each other very much. They’ve been together ever since then.
Back in the day, my dad and his younger brother, Richard Howard a.k.a. “Uncle Richie'', formed this musical group with four other members. They called themselves “Lost Soulz”. My father was the lead singer, and my Uncle Richie was the producer and one of the rappers of the group. They performed in numerous shows and were actually beginning to become noticed locally across the state. Unfortunately, the band wasn’t making enough money and didn’t get that big break they were hoping for. To top it off, my dad had just found out my mom was pregnant. My mother had gone to a couple of their shows to see them perform while she was pregnant with me. Even though I wasn’t physically born yet, part of me feels like I can remember feeling the energy of the crowd being hyped off their music. It was like I was having some sort of outer body experience. Maybe my soul was just present within that moment. Soaking up all the information I needed before the day of my birth, so that way things can seem familiar once I was born.
The shows they were performing at weren’t paying enough money to make ends meet. Once the group had finally decided to part ways, my dad found himself a nice paying job and got him and my mom an apartment right before I was born. When I reached the age of two, my parents ended up getting married. Being at the job for a couple of years, my dad got a promotion raising his pay wage. He moved us to a nice neighborhood in the suburbs, with beautiful houses, which is where I spent most of my childhood growing up.
I have always had a gift at being musically talented. At the age of two, I could harmonize and mimic any sound melody I heard playing, including mimicking birds or insects that made beautiful harmonic noises. By age four, my parents discovered my singing capabilities. At five, I was old enough to audition in many talent competitions that I competed in over the years. I did that all the way up until I was twelve, when I joined my middle school choir. My father was always hands on when it came to my musical gifts, being my personal vocal coach since I was a little girl. Along with enhancing my musical gifts, he made sure I stayed active by entering me in gymnastics and also karate, for self-defense purposes.
Everything seemed so perfect. To have two parents who devotedly loved each other equally, with a kid they loved unconditionally. Everything seemed magical. Unfortunately, what seemed to be magical, had ironically taken a drastic turn. My 7th grade year was the year my father got murdered after stopping by a convenience store on his way home from work. The convenience store ended up getting robbed by two robbers with him in it. Him and the cashier were held at gunpoint and my dad tried to take the gun out of one of the robbers hands, which led to him getting shot. What a coincidence for my dad to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, right? He was a man that didn’t believe in coincidences. That everything in life happens when they’re supposed to, in divine timing. I was so heartbroken over the loss of my dad! Ever since that night, things weren’t the same anymore. As time went on, bills became hard for my mom to manage on her own. So, we ended up moving into a cheaper home in north Tulsa.
A year has gone by since my father was murdered. One day, as my mom and I were in the store getting groceries for the house, we ran into this guy named Isaac. He was tall and dark skinned, with nice teeth, and a great smile. From the moment I saw him, I felt something off about his presence, but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He was very handsome, charming, and quite persuasive as he was sharing a conversation with my mom. He seemed like a nice guy at first, but you can never judge a book by its cover. Between all the eye lust and that smile he was throwing at my mom, I could see through all that elusive intent. Whatever lies or hidden agenda he was hiding, eventually time showed it all.
To be aware of the energies you encounter, to decipher what energies are good and bad, is a powerful energy tool to have. We as humans have powerful resourceful tools that are designed within the human body and psyche. One of them being your intuition. Being aware of my energy within that moment, and what I was feeling before and after encountering Isaac, my intuition was telling me everything I needed to know without him even saying a word to me. The feeling of energy speaks volumes. At first I thought I was tripping. Once him and my mom started talking and going on dates, he started coming around more often. Every time I would try to speak to him, his energy was the same as before. I just wish my mother’s intuition was on point that day like mine was. As months went by, they became serious and their love for each other grew, eventually becoming a couple. My mom was madly in love with Isaac, or so she thought. After a year of dating she moved him into our home. Since then, what seemed to be another romantic story, turned out to be a complete nightmare. Isaac was the type of person that has the gift of gab, someone that knows just the right words to say in order to get what he wants.
Since Isaac moved in, everything completely changed about him. That strange feeling I had got about him before, finally revealed his true nature. It’s funny how time reveals all things. The company he would bring around the house were drug dealers and gangsters. He began acting differently and started to show his true colors. He would drink so much and get aggressive to where he and my mom would get into heated arguments, which later down the line, resorted to him putting his hands on her. There were times I would come home from school and see these different bruises on her arms, neck, and sometimes on her face. She would try to hide it with makeup and come up with dumb excuses and lies to hide the fact that he’s been doing it. I couldn’t understand why she was putting up with that nonsense. My dad never treated her the way Isaac was doing. I felt like my mother moved on too quickly. She never gave herself the appropriate time to fully heal and mourn over the death of my father. One thing my mom showed me in that situation, is to not take bull crap from no man, or anybody for that matter that tries to disrespect me. I love myself enough to not allow anyone to do that to me. To not settle for anything or anyone less than my worth. My mom lost a huge piece of her heart when my dad died. He literally took care of her since they first started dating. She was so vulnerable over losing him. She missed feeling and being loved by a man. Isaac wasn’t a real man and her so-called love for him had turned into fear.
I never saw Isaac physically put his hands on my mother until this one particular night, the moment that changed my life and perception of things forever. I found out a hidden secret about myself that I never knew I had. I was in my room on my bed, listening to instrumentals through my bluetooth earbuds. I was playing my guitar and writing music in my journal, when Isaac had come home drunk. The volume wasn’t that loud through my earbuds purposely so that way I could hear the melody of my guitar as I was playing along. All of a sudden, I heard these loud noises and a bump against my wall coming from the front room. Without hesitating, I got up to see what was going on. Once I turned the corner coming from the hallway to the front room, there Isaac was, choking my mom against the wall as she was screaming for him to let her go! I immediately ran over to my mom’s rescue and began piecing him all upside his head and face with my fist. He shook me off of him, and POW! He backhand slapped me across my face, knocking me over the living room table. He knocked one of my earbuds out of my ear and it flew across the room. I remember laying there on the floor for a split second with blood dripping from my mouth, as Issac stood over me. While I was laying there, I can remember the sound of the frequencies getting louder in my earbud. Next thing I know, I raised up and screamed at the top of my lungs “GET OUT!”, projecting this SUPERSONIC SOUND WAVE. It was so powerful, it blew him through the front window and outside on the lawn.
Once I finally came back to my senses, I was shocked by what I had done. I looked over in the corner where my mom was at. She looked at me in a frightening way, and couldn't believe what I had done. By the time Isaac got off of the ground, he started threatening me that he was going to call the police. Yelling at me calling me every disrespectful name his small brain could think of. I decided I wasn't going to stick around that toxic mess anymore. So I went into my room, packed up everything I possibly needed, including my guitar, and left for the bus station. I took the city bus to the only person I felt safe with, my Uncle Richie. Part of me wishes I had stayed, but you can't stand in the way of people's lessons they want to learn, including family. Once I arrived at Uncle Richie's house, he was concerned why I just showed up unannounced late at night. He made me something to drink and we sat down on the couch so I could explain to him what happened. Uncle Richie had already known about Isaac from the conversations he and I exchanged through text. Never have I shared with him how Issac was possibly putting his hands on my mom, until now. I had told him everything that's been going on and what led me to come to his house. However, I never mentioned my power to him. At the time I was still trying to understand it and didn't know how to explain that without him thinking I was crazy, so I left that part out. I stayed that night in the guest room. He told me I could stay for as long as I wanted, but I only stayed for a couple of days. Eventually, I was going to go back to my mom. I just needed some time to clear my head from all the shenanigans.
That night as I was sleeping, I dreamt of my dad. I was sitting in the living room watching tv at our old house, when he came walking through the door. I instantly rushed over and gave him the biggest hug as tears were falling down my cheek. I missed him so much! The dream felt so real as if I was really living in the moment. Even the smell of his scent was the same. He always had some nice cologne that smelled really good. I told him everything that's been going on and how everything has changed. I remember him telling me in the dream “there are some situations that are inevitable, but you are far more powerful than what you realize. You have all the strength and courage to conquer any challenge that comes within your path. Soon you will discover the strengths that are coded within your DNA. Everything is going to turn out just fine”. My dad always knew the right words to say to give me some sort of comfort. Within a split second as I was hugging him, he dissolved into the air. Right after he left, what had seemed to be a happy dream turned into a nightmare. I started to experience the same episode that had just transpired. I saw Isaac choking my mom up against the wall as she was crying out for help. I hurried up to her rescue as if the same scene was repeating itself. As I was punching Isaac, he grabbed me and threw me across the room. When I looked up my mom had uncannily vanished, but Isaac was still there. What had appeared to be Isaac at first, wasn't him anymore. He had transformed into this demonic-like creature that stood 8ft tall, really muscular, with big horns and sharp teeth. I was staring at the creature in complete fear. The demon started charging at me like a raging bull. I tried to get up and run, but it was like my body was moving in slow motion. As the demon creature got closer, my adrenaline started pumping. All of a sudden, I remember my eyes glowing purple. Right before the monster got close enough to attack, I unleashed the SONIC SCREAM! So powerful that it blew the skin off of the creature and turned it into complete ash. I fell to my knees after getting a little light headed, trying to catch my breath. Suddenly, the ground began to shake as if an earthquake was happening. Cracks started to form in the ground and violet flames shot out from the ground and into the air. A violet aura light beam from above flashed down on me and I started floating into the air, as if a UFO was abducting me. The flames started to orb around me. My hair turned and began to glow violet, and raised towards the light above. I felt so much power within my body and an intense pressure in the middle of my forehead as I was floating higher into the air. Before anything else could happen I had woken out of my dream.
That following morning, I got up and took a shower to detox all that negative energy off me. My Uncle was downstairs mowing the lawn as I was getting myself together. When I was in the bathroom preparing for the day, I always listened to some tunes because it elevates my mood and helps me start my day. This time, I got more out of the music than what I had intended. As I was brushing my teeth in the mirror, I began to notice something strange starting to happen. I was vibing to the music when I noticed my hair began changing from its natural color to like a magenta violet color with a hint of lavender. Even my eyes changed colors and were glowing. I stood in the mirror for a minute, stunned. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing. I mean, I knew it was me of course, but I had looked like a completely different person at the same time. The new look stayed like that for a short period of time before my eyes and hair changed back to its natural color.
After I got dressed I went downstairs, made myself a bowl of cereal while reminiscing about old memories as I was looking around Uncle Richie's house. Everything seemed the same for the most part. He even had that old piano that Big Mama used to have at her house before she passed away. I began playing it just to see how the piano sounded. Uncle Richie had just got out of the shower and overheard me playing. He came in there to check on me to see how I was feeling. Normally when kids go through situations like this, it traumatizes them. I was still a little shocked, but for the most part I felt just fine. We began talking and catching up. He had some empty music sheets, so he and I collaborated on some music to take my mind off things. Once he was getting ready to leave, he gave me some money. Me being me, I decided to go to the mall to do a little shopping. I stopped by the store where my bestfriend Trix works at so I could use her discount and talk to her about what has been going on. I didn't get a chance to tell her about my huge secret because she had to get back to work. So I decided to wait. Trix is the only one I trust and can talk to her about anything. My cup was full with tea and it was ready to spill. I felt like I had to tell her soon.
I went around the mall and into a couple of stores to see what they had and if they were hiring. Stopped by the food court to get me something to eat when I noticed these groups of girls staring at me. They were the same group of girls from school that's been hating on Trix and I for whatever reason they planted in their infertile minds. I ran into them as I was leaving the mall, coming from down the escalator. They started to approach me like a pack of hyenas. One of the girls, named Heather, decided to confront me over some dude all because he liked me and wasn't giving her the time of day. Long story short, it ended up turning into a physical altercation. As the girls were surrounding me, one of them pushed me into Heather from behind, and she slapped the hell out of me. I lied there on the ground for a sec. I remember them standing over me getting ready to try and jump me. For a brief second, it was like time had slowed down. The girls were talking smack, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. The only thing I can remember is the sound of the music playing, coming from the intercom.
The more I tuned into the frequencies that the music was projecting out, it was like it was fueling me, charging me up. One of the girls decided she was going to kick me while I was down and I instinctively grabbed her leg, and gave her a front thrust kick to her face while I was on the ground. All the other girls came over to help out their friend, and I beat them all up. It was like all those lessons I received from karate, I remembered as if I was still taking the class and it was fresh on my mind. I guess those self defense classes paid off after all. Later that night, I was in the room writing while playing along with my guitar. Uncle Richie was in the shower getting ready to leave because he had to go to some meeting. My curiosity began to wonder what he did for a living but I never asked. While I was playing my guitar, I began to think of my dad. Remembering what he told me in my dream. The more I thought about him, the more it felt like I was channeling his energy. In a weird way it felt like it was more than just his energy I was feeling. More so, like the blood lineage of the ancestral energy on his side of the family I was feeling. The more tuned in I was, the more power I felt. Suddenly, something miraculous happened. My guitar had changed from a regular wooden guitar to a dope rockstar air guitar. I quickly threw it on the bed, stood up and stared at it in an astounded way. Watching the violet electricity orbiting around it for a bit.
I heard my Uncle knocking at the door. He came in letting me know that he had ordered pizza and he was getting ready to head out. As he was talking, he glanced over and saw my guitar on the bed. He walked over and grabbed it, looking at it with a radiant smile. It reminded him of the guitar my dad used to have. He said that my dad used to have the same guitar I have. It was passed down to him from my Great Grandmother. He told me my dad had a collection of different guitars, but for some reason that one was his favorite. He took it to every show they performed at. Kind of like his good luck charm. He continued on saying that my dad was devastated whenever he had pawned it after the group split. He did it to provide extra money for his family right before I was born. Before Uncle Richie could continue, his ride had come to pick him up. They pulled up honking for him to come outside. I glanced out the window to see who was picking him up. A man with a black suit on with shades was outside waiting for him to come to the car. The man looked so mysterious. My curiosity got the best of me. I immediately put my shoes and jacket on and ran downstairs. By the time I had made it out of the house, the car was half way down the street. I thought to myself “how am I going to catch up with the car”? I began looking around and saw a skateboard in the neighbors yard, so I took it.
I didn't want them to know I was following behind them, so I made sure to maintain enough distance behind the car while following it. As I continued following it, we came upon a steep hill. Going down the hill I started to go extremely fast causing me to lose my balance and control of my sense of direction. I swerved over into the incoming traffic lane and almost got hit by a car. As the car was approaching me, I quickly leaped into the air, jumped about 50ft and landed on top of a building. So terrified but also amazed by how high I had jumped. I looked up and saw the car my uncle was in getting away. Using my enhanced leaping abilities, I was able to keep up with the car, leaping from one building to the next. When we finally arrived at the destination, we came to a warehouse. I looked down and saw a few more cars parked and men walking inside the building. I quickly leaped over to the warehouse and took the rooftop entry way in. Once I entered the building, I overheard noises of a man yelling coming from downstairs, so I followed the direction the voice was coming from. When I approached the scene, I saw a guy tied up to a chair and a man, whose voice I heard, questioning him with a gun in his hand. Standing around them were a couple other men I saw walking inside. Some I saw armed with weapons. I decided to move in to get a closer view. I hid behind a big crate, pulled out my phone, and started recording. Watching to see what was going to transpire next. I zoomed in on all the faces I could capture and that's when I saw my uncle's face. The man that had the gun said something about the guy stealing products from them for years. Growing tired of all the lies, the man shot the guy tied up in the middle of his forehead. Whatever he stole from him must have been pretty valuable for him to lose his life.
I had never seen anyone get shot before. I was so terrified! My hands began shaking and I lost grip of my phone. Causing it to drop onto the floor and creating a loud echo sound. The men had looked up and seen me in the shadows as I was trying to hurry and pick it up. The men began shooting and chasing after me. I quickly hurried back upstairs and exited out through the entryway I came in. By the time the men made it on the rooftop, I was gone. I watched the men from another building as they were looking for me. I quickly hurried back to the house before Uncle Richie found out I left. When he made it back to the house, he peeped in the room to check on me. I layed there fake sleeping, traumatized by what I had just witnessed. First time I saw a person get shot and the first time I've been shot at.
A couple of days had gone by since I had been staying at my uncle's house. The suspense has been taking over my mind since I witnessed that guy get shot in the head. I was still startled by it. I mean who wouldn't be? To witness someone getting murdered wasn't an easy thing to take in. A Lot of questions were racing through my mind. Like “who is my uncle working for”? “Why was he at the scene of the crime in the first place”?” What secrets is he hiding”? “ How did he get caught up in something like this”? The more questions I kept asking myself, the more concerned I became. I wanted to go ask him myself, but I didn't want him to find out I was there witnessing what happened. I still had the video from that night. I could have easily gone to the police and given them the video, but that would have risked my uncle going to prison. I was stuck in a loop, trying to decide what I should do. At some point, I knew that if I wanted answers I was going to have to take matters into my own hands. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This one particular day, my best friend Trix and I were hanging out having a girls day. She had just passed her drivers test and her parents surprised her with a new car. She came and picked me up and we spent the entire day together catching up. We haven't gotten a chance to hang out lately due to her working a lot and me dealing with my own problems. I was able to finally catch her up on the latest tea that's been going on. I told her about the situation with Isaac and what I did to him. She didn’t believe the part of me blowing him out through the front room window, which led to me showing her the video footage from the warehouse. As I was showing the video, I explained to her how I was able to keep up with the vehicle. She stared at me for a sec, then proceeded to laugh. Well later on that night after we had finished shopping, we saw my uncle out in public getting into a similar car he got into before. Trix and I followed it which led us to a club. I saw my uncle and a couple of other men getting out of the vehicle and entering inside the club. I’m nowhere near the age limit to go inside a club, but I knew the best chance of me getting the answers that I was seeking was inside that building. I began brainstorming how I was going to get inside. Then I saw this group of women walking up the street headed towards the club. They wore really colorful outfits and were showing more skin than the clothes they had on. I knew my only chance of getting inside was blending in with them.
Trix didn't believe about me having powers before, but I surely made a believer out of her that night. I had to quickly change my appearance so I could look older and catch up with the group of women before they entered inside the club. Trix had bought this crop top shirt that I had changed into. I had on sweats and didn't have enough time to change my bottoms. I quickly tried to change my appearance, but nothing happened. Then, I realized my powers are activated when I listen to music. I had Trix cut on the radio, so that way I could concentrate. She was looking at me in a weird way at first, but then my hair color began to change. She was so amazed by what I did and couldn't believe it. She had so many questions, but didn’t have time to sit and answer them. I had to make a move fast. Trix decided to sit in the car and wait for me. I hurried and caught up with the women and became cordial with them. Luckily it was ladies night, so I got in for free and didn't need to show my I.D.
Once I finally made my way inside the club, the energy of the crowd and the music playing was so loud and extreme. The building was so lit with a bunch of people dancing. I could literally feel the vibration throughout my body and on the ground from the music playing. As I was walking through the club, it was like the music was powering me up. I looked up and saw a stairway entrance going up with a security guarding it from the bottom. I guess it was like a VIP section that was closed off from the other people down stairs. I had a feeling that something was going on up there that didn't have anything to do with the business of the club. Why else would they have security guarding that area? I went and sat over by the bar, thinking to myself how I was going to get up there. By the bar was this big speaker that I was leaning on. Suddenly, I felt a spark of electricity shock my hand as my arms rested on the speaker. I quickly removed my hand and looked at the speaker and could physically see the vibrational frequency it was projecting out from the music playing. With my keen eyesight to sound, I was able to tap into a higher level of seeing things. Not seeing things as its physical form, but as the energy level and vibration both people and objects were vibrating at. I could detect the different levels of frequency each person was vibrating on.
I decided to touch the speaker again to see what would happen. Within a flash, I zapped right through this vibrational frequency portal. Traveling through these electrical currents which lead me upstairs. I had zapped out of a wall that had different stereos connected, and entered into this room that was filled with a bunch of men that were armed. I definitely startled them. Who wouldn't be, seeing a person coming out of the speaker wall. One guy fired off his gun trying to shoot me. I put my hands up and covered my face, closing my eyes tightly. I was wondering why I didn't feel the pressure of the bullet puncturing me yet. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw I had created a force field of vibration, shielding me from the bullet. A couple of other guys tried shooting at me, but each bullet missed. Causing most of the bullets to deflect off my shield and hitting a couple of the guys. They realized they couldn't shoot me so they began to rush me. With my heightened reflexes and combat skills, I was able to take on all those thugs. In a funny way, it was exciting taking them on by myself. Until one of the men landed a powerful sidekick to my chest. Causing me to bump up against the stereo wall. I hit the wall so hard, unleashing this powerful vibrational energy blast, causing the thugs to fly across the room and the window where you could look down to see what was going on inside the club, to shatter.
The men layed there on the floor after that blast hit them. For some, it left them unconscious. I overheard some people coming upstairs and I quickly zapped back through the stereo wall and back downstairs, as everyone was rushing out of the building. I was able to easily escape without anyone noticing and hurried back to the car. I never saw my uncle inside the club and never got the answers I was seeking, but it was the beginning of me uncovering some hidden truths and secrets. That same night, Trix had taken me back to my mom's house. When we pulled up, Isaac was outside smoking a cigarette. So I decided to give him a rude but satisfying taste of his own medicine. After beating him down, I told him he no longer stayed there and that he had to leave. My mother was so happy I returned home. When she asked about Isaac, I simply told her that his time living there had officially expired. My mom agreed to go get counseling to get the help that she needed to start her healing process. Since it was late Trix had stayed the night. Now that I was an official superhero, I needed a name. We spent an hour trying to come up with a unique name. Then it finally hit me, “SOULTUNE”.
KEY LESSONS OF THE STORY
TRUE: Stay true to who you are despite the circumstances of your environment.
PEACE: Always comes from within first. You must have peace on the inside in order to create peace in reality. You must remain peaceful within the mist of the storm.
LOVE: You can't truly love someone if you can't truly love yourself. Just how peace starts within, so does love. Love is the highest frequency to vibrate on. Once you show love to yourself, you'll be able to show love to others and be open to attracting the right kind of love that is meant for you. To love yourself means that you wont allow others to disrespect you or interfere with your peace. To remain grounded within your own unique divine essence. To show people how to treat you and not allow the storm of others destroy your self-assurance.
LEADERSHIP: To the parents out there, be mindful of the company you bring around your children. Kids are like sponges that soak up everything that they hear and see. They are watching your every move and how you handle situations. Be the role model your kids deserve to have.
HEAL: To those that lost a significant lover, it is very important that you fully heal. Find closure and peace within yourself. Be patient with your healing process and allow yourself to take as long as you need to heal properly.Allow yourself to mourn over your loss and to feel vulnerable. Allow your emotions to flow fluently and freely.
STAND-UP: No matter how many times you fall, always choose to get back up. You will only get stronger when you choose to get back up.