Soldier

The conductor is dead.

He’s pale. His eyes stare at me accusingly, boring holes into my soul. But there’s a hole in his chest instead. His heart is missing. How do I know?

‘Cause the bloody thing is in my own hands.

Bile rises to the back of my throat. I drop the heart and double over, fighting the urge to spew vomit. Tremors run through my hands. I can’t make them stop. A wave of dizziness hits me, and I drop to my knees.

What in the Sainted Realms is going on here?

I’m in the engine room of a train, but I don’t know how I got here. Everything is wrong in my head. My memory is not what it used to be - the explosion on the battlefield six months ago took care of that - but I have never experienced a blackout before. I just know I shouldn’t be here. What am I doing here? Why is this man dead? Am I a victim or a villain?

The tremors grow worse. My whole body is shaking now. A familiar feeling creeps over me, like an old friend. Confusion, fear - the name eludes me. I have to try and remember, but it’s hard. The doctor said familiar senses like sights or smells best trigger lost memories. But I have nothing but a body and the smell of blood. I remember…nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Why can’t I remember what happened?

“Do you want to survive?”

The words of my commander echo in my head. It was the first question he ever asked me, a pitiful conscript on a bloody battlefield. Defenseless, talentless me with no large reserve of mana. Truly useless. And yet…

Do I want to survive? What was my answer then? Fragmented memories surface, too fragile to touch. He held out his hand and I…

“Yes. I want to survive.”

…I clung to it.

“Good,” he’d said. “Then don’t be stupid and stay calm. That’s the first rule.”

Calm descends like a settling blanket over my fractured mind. I take a deep breath and push aside the panic that was threatening to overwhelm me. I’m not a soldier anymore, this isn’t a battlefield, and my mind is not completely whole. I honestly don’t know what this is. But I’m here for a reason. What reason? That’s still unclear.

One thing at a time. Let’s deal with one thing at a time.

Uttering the words of my commander under my breath, I recite them like a prayer.

“Rule one - stay calm. Rule two - take care of what’s in front of you first.”

My eyes fall upon the dead man. Now that my mind has calmed, things start to come back slowly. It’s curious that I went for the heart. There’s only one reason why I would do that, but it doesn’t make sense. We’re in the Sainted Realms after all. This is far from the battlefield. But my suspicion doesn’t ease.

“Rule three - trust only what you know, not what you believe you know.”

I siddle closer to the body, my earlier aversion gone. Though my stomach twists with displeasure, I know this must be done.

“I’m sorry,” I say, as I take off my bloodstained gloves to turn his head.

There, on the back of his neck, I find it. The raised mark on his skin is red and raw. Sigil of Possession. Demon magic.

Laughter threatens to bubble up and out through my lips, but I hold back. This is not the time or place to be maniacal. Was it too much to hope that I finally escaped that hell?

Finish what’s in front of you.

I sigh.

Like saint’s magic, demon magic follows the laws of nature. Two souls cannot reside in the same body, so one must be extinguished in order to make room for possession. The conductor was long dead before I “killed” him by taking out the body’s core. This knowledge does little to comfort me, however. Because there is another law of nature that bothers me even more.

“Mages are not containers. They’re more like gateways,” my commander once told me. “Think of it like a watergate. The river runs through freely from one side to another as long as there is no obstruction. But if the gate were to be destroyed - if there were no longer a gateway to go through - the water would stop. Moreover, if the gate were to move, the river would stop as well. One must be alive and nearby for magic to continue working.”

It’s here on this train.

A demon in the sainted realms. Perhaps I’m still a soldier after all. The thought makes me want to jump up and hunt it down. Vile, cunning creatures. They want nothing more than destruction. It is their ultimate pleasure to cause pain. But something tells me I’m not done here.

“Rule four - be thorough and don’t assume.”

There is still the question of why. Why this train? Why this car? Why the conductor? Why me? Why?

I move over to the conductor’s desk to leaf through the many papers scattered on the surface but freeze when I see a bag laying there with my name engraved in the name plate. Harrison Drew. The only problem is that it’s not my bag. I don’t own such high-quality things. Another puzzle?

It’s like an invitation to look.

I accept it.

I unlatch the top and reach inside. The first thing my fingers find is a gun. I wince at the sight of it dangling from my finger. Part of me wants to chuck it at the other side of the engine room, but I hesitate and check the chamber. It’s loaded.

I don’t really have anything else.

I slip the gun into the hem of my pants and reach into the bag once more. This time, I pull out a handful of anti-war pamphlets. My eyes widen in disbelief. The movement of the younger generation is hailed as a peaceful one, but there have been some extremists among them these days. Foolish youth to think peace could ever be achieved between the saints and the demons. I frown. Do they have something to do with this? It isn’t impossible for a human to learn demon magic, but something’s not fitting here.

The train jolts beneath me, disrupting my thoughts. Did we just speed up? But I’m in the engine car alone, aren’t I? I look at the control panel. Nothing’s changed. And the magic furnace is still glowly as bright as before. But I swear I felt the train speed up…

A terrible thought fills my mind. I scramble for the magic furnace, pouring mana into my eyes. Strong mages see these things naturally, but I have a small mana pool. It takes effort, but I see it through the silver grate. Writhing among the stones that burn with magic is the dark, red magic of a demon. It coils like a snake, forcing the stones to burn brighter. There is another jolt. The speed increases again, only just a little. Has it been doing so this entire time?

Running to the window, I gaze out at the landscape. We’re climbing steadily now. The ground ascends at a steady incline, though we had been traveling evenly before. No wonder I could feel it now. But the sight of what’s ahead that has my stomach churning with real fear.

The Golden Peaks. Named so for the gold found in the heart of these mountains, it stands as a firm wall that splits the Sainted Realms in half. It is impossible to go from one half of the realm to the other without passing through this rough terrain. But the route…it twists and turns. At this speed, we may be safe once or twice, but as the speed rises and the turns come quicker, it would be disastrous.

And I’m not powerful enough to stop it.

Suddenly, the pieces click into place. A bag full of anti-war sentiment pamphlets, a train speeding up the mountain, a broken soldier with a broken mind found in the engine car after the crash, and demon magic.

A lot of people are supposed to die here today, and I’m supposed to be the scapegoat. This is an assassination.

I feel sick.

I want to survive, I remind myself.

There are still a lot of variables, still a lot of things that don’t make sense. Are the anti-war groups in league with the demons? Or is this just a ploy? Regardless, the next move is obvious.

I need to stop this train.

To do that, I’ll need to find and kill this demon magic user. Without more hesitation, I grab the door handle to the next car. I open it slowly and peek through to the other side. No one I see, but there’s a corner. Should I risk it? I have no choice.

I push the door open further slowly so as to make as little noise as possible. I step through and turn around to close it just as slowly. But I don’t shut it before I hear a voice behind me.

“Sir?”

I freeze. Where did this girl come from? I swear there was no one there before. The door isn’t closed all the way, but it would be too obvious to do so now. I don’t want to draw attention to the body on the other side if I can help it. Urgency grips me, but I take a deep breath and turn my head to smile sweetly.

“Yes?” I ask.

The train employee frowns at me. Her eyes are full of suspicion.

“What are you doing here, sir? You shouldn’t be here.”

My expression morphs into utter confusion. “I’m not? But isn’t this the bathroom?”

There’s hesitation in her eyes now. She tilts her head.

“No, sir,” the employee says. “This is the engine room.”

“But, I need the bathroom, not the engine room. Oh dear.”

My hand is steady on the handle, keeping it closed just enough to make sure this girl doesn’t see anything. I rub the back of my head nervously and feign worry.

“It’s been really hard ever since I came back from the frontline,” I continue. “My memory isn’t what it used to be. Things get muddled easily. Are you sure this isn’t the bathroom?”

This seems to garner sympathy from this train employee. Her gaze softens a little as she looks me up and down.

“Ah, pardon me, sir, but are you a soldier?”

I nod. “Yes, ma’am. 25th division under Commander Rais, ma’am. There was an explosion…at least that’s what they told me. But I don't really remember.”

“I see,” she says, kinder this time.. “Sir, this isn’t the bathroom. I can take you there. Why don’t we return to your car?”

I am surprised by the offer. I was unprepared for this level of sympathy. I had been hoping she would simply send me on my way.

“Ah, well. I…have a hard time remembering,” I say, unable to think of anything else.

“That’s okay. Your car number should be on your ticket. If you hand it to me, we can get you back safely.”

Crap! I don’t have a ticket!

She smiles warmly at me. I chuckle nervously and begin to dig around in my pockets. Of course, no ticket to be found. A scapegoat would look more suspicious with no ticket.

“I seem to have misplaced it,” I say, reaching for the gun slowly

My grip loosens on the door handle, and I turn slightly to prepare myself as I try to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve me killing a random train employee. There’s not much time left before this entire train crashes into the mountainside.

At that very moment, the train jolts forward again. The unexpected push of speed sends me stumbling forwards and into the arms of the train employee. Behind me, the door swings open slowly.

“Ah,” she says, staring straight ahead.

Her breath tickles my ear. I squirm, but she’s surprisingly strong. I can’t stand up straight enough to get my gun.

“Let me go,” I begin to explain. “You don’t understand. There’s a demon on this train and-”

“I wondered what happened when I couldn’t feel my puppet anymore,” she continues without batting an eyelash.

I freeze.

She smiles at me once more, but this time it doesn’t reach her eyes. The incantations come to me slowly, far too slowly. I stammer part of an incantation, but she’s faster. I immediately feel the magical ties tighten around my body before collapsing to the floor and crying out in pain. She sighs and shakes her head, leaning down to pat me on the cheek in a patronizing manner as I glare up at her.

“You should have just stayed quietly in the room. None of this would be happening right now if you had just stayed.”

I try another incantation. This time, she merely slaps me across the face. The strength of the blow sends me to the floor. There’s an audible thump as my head hits the floor.

She’s strong!

“There’s no time for this,” she says, rolling her eyes as she stands.

Her fingers grip my hair tightly. I scream in pain as she drags me like that back into the engine room and tosses me to the side. Groans escape my lips as she stands over the conductor’s body. Her tongue clicks in annoyance before she steps over to frisk me.

“Who are you?” I manage to ask.

“Puppet’s don’t speak,” the girl says as her hands enter and exit my pockets. “They do what their master commands.”

“I’m not a puppet,” I argue.

My statement seems to be amusing. She giggles a little and smiles at me again.

“Of course, you’re a puppet! I specially chose you for this mission. Ah ha!”

She sounds triumphant as she pulls out the gun I took from the bag.

“What a naughty puppet,” she says before slapping me again.

Her fingernails are like claws. They tear open my skin as her hand flies across my face. My cries of pain seem to delight her and she giggles again before taking the gun to the conductor’s desk.

This is why I hate demons.

I flex my arms experimentally. The bonds of magic are too tight and the magic is too strong to undo. Over at the desk, she begins stuffing everything I took out back into the bag.

“This wasn’t for you to look in,” she says to me, a little irritated. “Honestly, this whole thing took a really long time to set up. Either I messed up with the sleep spell, or you’re far more powerful and talented than I had realized. Though I am loath to admit fault, I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a human as powerless and talentless as you before. It’s truly mind-boggling how you managed not only to wake up but kill my puppet. And then you go and try to ruin everything?

“What? Am I supposed to apologize?” I ask angrily.

“That would be nice,” she smirks.

I shudder. “Never.”

“Hmph, as expected. You saints have no manners.”

She finishes putting everything back inside the bag before safely stowing it underneath the desk. When she notices me staring, she winks at me.

“It’ll survive better here, no?”

I feel useless since all I can do is watch her. I clench my fists and glare at her. The demon looks me over again and sighs.

She smiles and comes to kneel beside me again.

“Do you know why I picked you?” she asks.

“Are you gonna monologue?” I snap back. “In that case, I’m not interested.”

Slap!

My vision goes blurry this time as my head jerks to the side. I spit out blood. She laughs.

“You really are pitiful, you know,” she continues. “And quite broken in the head. To think that mana explosion would mess with your head so much. You really don’t remember anything on that battlefield? You don’t remember me?”

Her?

I blink. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“Hmm,” the demon girl muses. “That’s quite upsetting that you don’t actually remember me. I kind of wished you would. What is it they say? Familiarity brings back memories? Then let’s see if this helps.”

Before I can do anything, she grabs my neck and lifts me bodily off the floor, letting her illusion of humanity fall away. I stare into eyes blacker than coal. Her skin is jagged and scarred. Burn scars cover the left side of her face. I struggle for breath. But even as I am dying, I suddenly remember this feeling from before.

The sound of the dying around me. Cries and screams of wounded soldiers begging to die. Survival is the only rule here. But I’m all out of options here. She grips me by my throat, laughing as she watches me slowly suffocate to death. My feet dangle mere centimeters from the ground. I convulse in her iron grip. I feel bad for letting my commander down. He wasted all that time on useless old me. There’s just one last rule. Before I lose consciousness, I reach into my pocket and pull out the grenade. In my memory, she’s got no scars, but I enjoy the twisted look of horror on her face as she realizes what I’m going to do. I pop the pin and drop it between us. She flings herself away from it, dragging me with her, but she’s not fast enough. I finally lose consciousness when I hear the deafening explosion in my ear…

The demon lets me drop, cackling like a madwoman as I cough heavily.

“Yes! I can see you remember now,” she says.

I can’t stop coughing and gasping. Precious air fills my lungs.

“H-how did you…get here?” I manage to ask.

She grins. “Your Sainted Realms aren’t as perfect as you all think. You fight from within, too. It was easy to convince the foolish generations to bring us in under the pretense of peace. It was well worth it to rip them to shreds in the end. And they’ll be useful to throw everyone off the scent for a little while.”

The pamphlets. Of course.

“And me?”

Another smile. “I would like to say it was revenge. But truly I just couldn’t help it! When I visited you in that hospital, and you didn’t recognize me then, I just couldn’t resist playing with you.”

The train speeds up again. The air is getting colder and the pressure is changing. We’re nearing the mountains at top speed. Is it really over? I hang my head, trembling. The demon girl hums happily.

“I love this part,” she practically sings. “Where you give in to despair. Ah! It’s so…delicious to watch.”

She lifts my chin, licking her lips in expectation. I can’t hold back and snicker softly. I feel her freeze and look at me carefully.

“Rule five - always be prepared to die,” I say.

Tilting her head to one side, she stares at me intently.

“Have you gone mad?” she asks, incredulous. “Ha! You humans are quite fascinating creatures. You always make your deaths interesting.”

“Maybe I have gone mad,” I say, snickering again. “But like you said, always make it interesting.”

There’s only one tool left in my arsenal. There’s another phenomenon that occurs when one exceeds the amount of mana they can utilize. It’s a massive mana explosion. It’s almost like a last resort sort of thing, and no one does it because it's painful to suddenly push out all of your mana at once and it’s known to be deadly in most cases. But I know I’ll do it anyway. I don’t want to do it to save people. I don’t care about the passengers on the train. I just wanted to survive.

“If you follow these rules, you probably won’t die,” my commander had told me. “But there’s always the possibility. So if you know you’re gonna die, what do you think the most logical thing would be to do?”

My mana pool is small, but I don’t need an explosion to topple buildings. I just need one big enough to kill her. Like on that battlefield.

If I’m gonna die, I’ll take my enemy down with me!

The demon girl’s eyes widen as she feels my mana surge within.

“No!” she cries, reaching for me once more.

But it’s too late. I throw myself at her. She can’t avoid it this time. Searing hot pain shoots through every part of my body and I can’t help but scream as I descend into darkness.

All Saints News: Silver Arrow Passenger Train Engine Car Explodes; 1 Casualty

In a shocking turn of events, a Silver Arrow passenger train heading towards the capital experienced an explosion in the engine car just as it was about to reach the foothills of the Golden Peaks. The train slowed to a stop as train officials scrambled to put out the fire and keep the passengers safe. Reports on the ground say that two bodies were found in the engine room - the conductor, who sadly passed away due to heart failure and a young soldier who had been traveling at the time. The railroad reports that the conductor’s heart gave out while experiencing technical difficulties with the magic furnace, which had caused it to malfunction and speed up. If it hadn’t been for the quick thinking of the young soldier, Harrison Drew, the train and all its passengers might have derailed in the mountains. The young soldier, who was on his way to visit family after being heroically discharged from the military due to injuries on the battlefield, is currently in critical condition. He is being hailed a hero. Hopefully, we will hear good news for him soon.