Silent Night. Haunted Mirror.

*Present day*

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn't my own.

At first, I was there. Then in the blink of an eye, so was someone else.

*1 month ago*

Recently I've thought I could feel some strange presence lurking beside me. Following my every move. My eyes can see nothing of the sort, and yet, I know it to be real.

About a month ago marked the biggest transition of my life: living in a house—my house—all alone. Life had spiraled out of control and there was nowhere to run. My world was now essentially empty. I'd never be ready to return to reality. To a normal life. Not after what happened.

After all, she was gone. Forever and ever, gone.

The first few days felt as normal as could be, like she was simply away on a trip. The first week was even, dare I say it, manageable. Somewhat bearable. They say time doesn’t heal all wounds, it just covers them up. I was embracing that sentiment wholeheartedly.

Maybe I just needed a month or two for the wound to scar over, and then I’d be alright. As a bit more time passed, I was still doing ok. Somehow, someway, I made it by. Through some miracle I started to think maybe life didn’t have to be all about pain. There was so much more to it. Maybe life really was—beautiful. For a little while this strategy was working.

And then suddenly, it wasn't.

*Three weeks ago*

Autumn was now in full swing. I left the windows open night and day, loving the crisp air flowing through the house. My place had been built away from everyone, located on a hill. Gothic aesthetics represented the prevailing decorative theme inside and out.

Some nights, if I was lucky, sleep carried me into a far-off land at the end of a tiring day. Others, not so much. It was one of these insomnia plagued nights when strange things began happening.

That night it took only ten minutes after crawling into bed to realize lying down and closing my eyes was futile, no matter how long I might lay there. Rather than wasting away, I got up and threw on a shirt. There was a bench out on the back deck attached to chains that made it perfect for rocking back and forth. Typically it worked wonders calming my nerves. With a destination in mind, I headed for the stairs.

A disabling static that came out of nowhere erupted in between my ears. The sheer pain accompanying it stopped me in my tracks.

Bup-bum.

Then I heard a heartbeat. Plus another sharp sound of static.

Bup-bum.

It sounded like a broken TV cranked up to full volume. The heart beat like it wasn’t my own. Off to my right the door to the guest bedroom had been opened just a crack. I could have sworn I had closed it a few weeks ago. There was nothing even in there, after all.

Well, if I wasn't counting the mirror.

Before her passing she spent a significant amount of time in here. Any and all my questions were swiftly deflected or outright ignored. In the last days she’d become increasingly obsessed with rituals and cycles of the moon. And I’m sure things went much deeper than that.

I was alone in the house. I was sure of it. But then, where were these noises coming from? Another heartbeat predicated a woman singing. So softly at first I couldn't discern the words, then I found myself mouthing the words along with her.

"Silent night. Holy night. All is calm, and all is bright."

More static. One more heartbeat.

Smash.

The sound of a mirror shattering into a thousand pieces.

After rushing into the guest bedroom I saw nothing out of the ordinary. The first dent in my sanity had been made.

*Two weeks ago*

"Wake up, Jah. Wake up, Jahseh. Can you hear me? Wake up sweetie."

I bolted upright in bed, hearing her voice once again. My long-lost love. Could it be?

"Kiana. Kiana! Is that you?"

No. It wasn't possible. My dearly beloved, 'twas not.

It'd been a week or two devoid of any paranormal activity, if I could even call it that. I didn’t know what to believe. All the following nights I'd tiptoed past that room while trying to forget about the singing ghost woman. Must’ve been my mind playing tricks on me. Nothing more, nothing less. But still, forgetting was always easier said than done.

Although an uncanny possibility, the mere thought of Kiana attempting to contact me from the other side was enough to re-open that old wound and make it fresh again. Any healing I’d had so far had been undone.

Something was off about my current surroundings, observable or not. I felt another presence with me. Always with me. Day by day growing in power. To what end, I don't know. No doubt it would come soon enough.

Waking up from a tormented sleep in the master bedroom, the room was still dark. I could vaguely recall hopping into bed earlier just to rest my eyes. Must have ended up dozing off. Walking over towards the window, I looked outside. Up above, the moon looked quite pretty.

Feeling parched, I headed for the stairs to grab a drink. My heart rate spiked at the idea of walking past that room, although I tried to ignore it. My subconscious tried to convince me it was all a trick of the imagination from being alone for so long.

To my surprise I made it to the stairs without incident. Nothing strange happened on the way. The door was closed just how I left it.

Down in the kitchen, I filled up a glass of water. It didn't take long to realize I wasn't that kind of thirsty. So, I grabbed the good stuff, pouring out a healthy dose of whiskey. The burn. Oh, the burn. I didn't even like drinking. Yet that didn't stop me from going for round two. My whole body felt warm, but my heart was still cold. Ice cold.

Wandering out on the deck, I took a seat, glass filled up with round three. Beyond the initial satisfaction the alcohol was only making things worse. Not even a minute seated passed before I started to feel anxious. I stood up and paced back and forth, unable to sit still.

One, two, three, four, pivot.

Repeat.

Forward and back.

Repeat.

In another week or so, the moon would most certainly be full. Judging by its position in the sky, night was still young.

Great. Just great. My days were usually fine. The nights, however, were a different story.

Time was moving, but what did it matter? What was I waiting for? To die? There was nothing left for me to strive for. The glory years of my 20s and 30s were gone. Not to mention my 40s weren't half bad. In the blink of an eye, poof. Gone like the wind. Funny how life had passed me by while I tried making grand plans for it. Ahh. The irony. The poetic irony.

I wasn't scared of death. Truth be told I figured I'd be six feet under or a pile of ashes long before this. Previously I was scared of growing old, except now that I was here, it didn't faze me so much. As if life had ever been beautiful. Mine was over before it even started.

My eyelids felt heavy and my body ached. I went back inside, forgetting the empty glass I left behind. Now consciously aware of my intent to go to sleep, panic began setting in. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted it all to be over. I didn't care where I'd end up. If my wish were granted I'd cease to exist entirely, my soul eradicated out of any and all ethereal dimensions. I'd carried these burdens for too long.

Then and there, I decided. I wasn't going back to the "real world." This right here. This place. My home. A fitting final resting place. Alas, it was time to say goodbye. Sooner rather than later.

*One week ago*

Recently I’d been spending most of my time exclusively in the guest room. A seductive feeling drew me in like a magnet. The only times I left were when I absolutely needed to. Since I'd made my big decision about dying here, I half expected to turn into a gluttonous heathen. To my surprise the opposite happened. And I started to reflect. To understand things differently.

I think I got why people held their breath despite knowing they would drown.

The room was barren except for the lone mirror. I spent most of my time staring at it, feeling some euphoric and intoxicating effect from doing so. Finally, I turned to leave, needing a break. I'd been standing for so long my legs had gone numb.

Skrrrr.

The static.

Bup-bum.

The heartbeat.

"Ashes. Ashes. We all. Fall. Down."

In a flash I whirled around, catching a fading glimpse of her.

"Kiana? Kiana! Wait."

The way she moved. The way her hair billowed behind her. The dress she was wearing.

In disbelief, I ran towards the mirror, the last place I saw her go.

This time, when I looked inside, I saw something very different.

As if instructions from another plane of existence had been sent directly to my mind, I knew next what to do. The moment the palm of my hand made contact with the mirror, Pandora’s box had metaphorically been opened.

All of the sensations involved with having a body vanished. The aches. The pains. All of it, gone. Almost giddy with emotion I became, overcome with relief.

Inside the mirror lay another world, albeit a small one. I wasn't entirely sure if I knew the word for what I saw, but mausoleum felt right. The walls were made of stone and covered with thick, thorned greenish stems like that of a rose, zigging and zagging its way all over like ivy.

One coffin populated the mausoleum, fancy and adorned with jewels and various other decorations. It had inscriptions written in a language I could not read. The outer rim had been affixed with candles. The inside cloaked by an opaque darkness.

"Fiat Lux."

I heard myself say something I didn’t know the meaning of. One by one the candles burst into flame, fending off the foreboding darkness.

The most painful feeling I'd ever felt ripped through me. Immediately the tears began to fall, completely out of my control. There she was. Lying there, peacefully. Kiana.

Her voluminous jet-black hair reached down to her shoulders in waves tucked neatly behind her ears. Around her neck she wore a simple piece of jewelry I’d given to her on our 5th or 6th date. Four or five roses adorned her hair in a color I'd never seen before. They almost looked red, but not quite. Not the bright red typically associated with roses. More like a vivid red put through a black and white filter. It gave the impression the flowers were dead upon first glance. Based on appearance they almost looked dead, except they were still full and their petals still luscious.

She looked to be at rest. At peace. A light shadow brushed onto each of her eyelids. A dark lipstick completed her look, the same color as the roses in her hair.

Before this moment I would have done anything to see her again. Now that it happened, I was afflicted with the most profound sense of inner turmoil I could have ever imagined.

"Was this her plan all along? Had she found a way to traverse between the seen and unseen worlds? Why didn't she tell me?"

The lines between dimensions were blurred, but as far as I could tell I was only looking into this foreign world in the mirror. On the other hand, Kiana appeared to be trapped in there.

Static, this time far less intense.

Every single candle flame went out in one instant, plunging the mausoleum into darkness.

Heartbeats, rhythmic yet muffled.

Seven seconds later and a single chandelier cast a gloomy glow upon the coffin. Kiana sat up in her coffin, hands still intertwined in her lap. Her movements looked like choppy connected frames as opposed to one smooth motion, and this effect made her look terrifying.

She had come back to life.

Instead of seeing Kiana open her eyes by way of her eyelids going up, one frame she had them closed and the next they were wide open, almost bulging. She stared widely directly into my forsaken soul.

One instant her facial expression looked blank while the next she smiled wickedly at me.

I couldn't process what was happening.

I loved her.

And she loved me.

She—loved me—right?

I knew it was her from the moment she spoke.

"Oh, dear. Must you be so dramatic?"

I had no method in which to flee. No legs in which to run. No covers to hide under. Whatever this new world was, I couldn't get out. Her words hit like a dagger to the heart, but I was still in shock. Still in disbelief. Absolute denial.

Longer increments of the strobe-like, choppy effect furthered the nightmare fuel. In each window of visible light, I saw her in a different way. Every time.

Kiana tilted her head slightly at a ten-degree angle. She closed her eyes and closed her mouth back to neutral.

She opened them back up and smiled wide, a look of utter madness written all over her face.

"You're gonna die, my love. I'm gonna eat your soul, my love. Finally you'll be worth something. Are those tears I see? Are you going to cry? You're gonna die, my love."

I always thought my tolerance for pain was high. My resolve against discomfort unmatched. It was this moment I realized neither of those things mattered. Not compared to this. It wasn't pain. It wasn't discomfort. It wasn't the ailments caused by a broken heart.

It was something that hit much deeper. Much further in than the heart or the mind or the soul. There were worse fates than death. Honestly, though, I wasn’t surprised. Seemed about right.

“Alright. Whatever you’re about to do, at least make it quick.

With one last static, the strobe effect ended. I could see her fully. Wow was she beautiful. Probably not the best thing to be thinking at this time, but I couldn't help it.

This time I saw her full smile with no impeding special effects. Her lips parted. Her eyes opened wide.

"I'm more into slow torture."

*Present day*

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn't my own.

I was there, but so was someone else. A hauntingly beautiful woman took my place within the mirror. I couldn't help but stare, feeling some kind of deep connection with her. It made my heartbeat in strange ways. Butterflies flew all around in my gut. I felt my shoulders tense up, unable to control these crazy emotions constantly firing.

"Relax, babe. Let the sound of my voice take away all the tension inside you. Breathe deep and think of me. Wouldn't it be lovely to go on a picnic? To feel the wind on our faces and the green grass on our feet? We can do that. I promise. We need only stay here a little longer for the ritual to be complete. Then we can go, wherever you like, hand-in-hand, forever."

I could see her lips moving and her eyes staring. Hear her melancholy voice. I couldn't understand anything she was saying. Like my entire knowledge of my primary spoken language ceased to exist. I could repeat the words back but couldn't define what each of them meant. Nor the sum of them all. All I could feel was joy. A cursed joy. And it had me transfixed. I would do whatever she asked. It’d felt like we’d met before, but those memories eluded me.

Time flies, which is especially true regarding the last week. Only a few times had I left this room. My life force was being controlled by some unknown power.

I hadn't even noticed the darkened roses growing all around the room, nor the coffin that mysteriously appeared by the window.

Outside the moon became full. Without warning its light swallowed the room. A few seconds later the outer border of the mirror illuminated. Letters were drawn on its reflective surface, spelling out the name: K-I-A-N-A.

"Kiana— Kiana? That— that name. I know that name— Do I know that name?"

I stuttered through my puzzled thoughts I'd said out loud. While her voice still maintained an angelic dialect, there was something about it that had changed. It was more assertive now. Instructive. By the subtlest of means.

"Yes. You don't remember? You don't remember... us?"

My entire body became both electric and uncomfortably numb. The way she said it was—no, no. I must’ve been interpreting things. In turn, I began smiling, overcome with relief that I was no longer all alone. I wanted to be closer to her. A primal lust to be with her consumed me. And the deep connection I felt only amplified it. The longing began taking over my entire being. It was now the only thing that mattered.

Something brushed against my hand.

My heart skipped a beat, then went faster and faster. I could feel her hand next to mine. Another wave of pure bliss made my eyes go wide. I'd never felt anything like this. The pleasure was so great it felt almost painful. Her hand interlocked with mine and closed. It was hard to fathom how such a simple gesture invoked such erotic thoughts.

"Let your thoughts, your worries, your fears, all melt away. I'm here with you now."

Her show of love completely and utterly broke me. The floodgates had been opened. I stuttered a bit less this time, but my next vocal thought came out a lot more coherently than I expected.

"I don't believe you. I c— I can't believe you. I just can't. Even if you are here now, soon you'll leave. They always leave... They always leave."

“No, Jah. You and I—we’ll be together. Forever. I promise.”

And with that, I surrendered to her. With all my heart. My soul. I would submit. So I could see her return to this world once again.

“I do—forever.”

In a flash, her hand vanished into thin air as the darkness took over once again. I brought up the hand that was holding hers by my face and could smell the dark, wintery perfume she was wearing. By smell alone my knees grew weak. Like lightning my mind envisioned moments of passions with her. And then, out of nowhere, came—memories?

*We were lying in bed, our backs propped up at a 45 degree angle against a mountain of pillows. I stared up at the wall trying to will time itself to stop for a minute. Her hand still holding mine. Only moments before had we come as close as two lovers could be. I wondered if I'd finally found happiness. For so long had thought the idea impossible. Utterly unattainable. Then when it finally happened, when the smile appeared on my face as she squeezed my hand a bit tighter, it didn't feel real. Something didn't feel right, and I could not for the life of me put my finger on what. Sleep eventually wrestled my mind away into dreamland. When I opened my eyes next and returned to reality, she had already left. I forgot all about those intrusive thoughts. As it would turn out, Lord have mercy on my soul, that little something was the seed of a very, very evil magic.*

My desires for connection would lead to my ultimate downfall.

The memories were all rushing back. But it was already too late. The mausoleum in the mirrored world had fully bled into this one. And Kiana had come with it, orchestrating it all. My brain felt completely and utterly overwhelmed.

"It can't be. No. It's not possible. I watched you. I remember. I watched you be buried. I put flowers on your grave. I wrote your favorite quote on your tombstone: 'You know it's love when all the songs make sense.' Your hands were cold. Kiana. Your hands were so cold. I was the one who found you. How could you let me be the one to find you? How could you let me be the one who had to take you down from there? To see you like that. Every night, it plays back in my mind. You've ruined me. Kiana. You've ruined me. Ruined... m--."

I looked down at my feet, unable to face her. Sometime during my last speech the normal lights had turned back on. Outside darkness still reigned supreme while the moon shined as bright as ever. Kiana was still inside the mirror, no longer dependent upon my reflection as a catalyst to her continued presence there.

"I'm sorry about that. I never wanted to hurt you. It was all for the greater good. For you. For us. I can explain. Before I can I need you to do something. I need you to trust me. Take out the arrow."

Without thinking I reached into my front pocket and grabbed the obsidian black arrowhead I'd collected during one of my earlier brief excursions outside the room.

"Ouch."

From retrieving the arrowhead out of my pocket, it cut my finger. Enough to draw blood. Now the arrowhead was stained with it.

"Break the mirror with it," Kiana told me.

"What?" I questioned.

Again, her tone had changed. I didn't pick up on it. She must have noticed after the fact because immediately she tried to remedy the interaction. It worked.

"Jah. You have to strike the mirror with the arrowhead. Once you do that, the ritual is complete. And we can be together, just like old times. You'll be happy again. And there were so many things we didn't get to do.”

A brief pause ensued. Then she told me again.

“Strike the mirror."

As far as requests went, this one was quite odd, all things considering. I had my doubts. Problem was, they were of the wrong variety.

"But why? What will happen to you? What if it doesn't work! I just got you back. I can't lose you again. I just can't. I'm sorry."

“True love is about risks. It's the one thing that allows us to fly, hand in hand. Please. You have to trust me. It will work. I know it will work. I want to feel whole again, Jah. Don't you?"

I looked back and forth from her—to my hand—and my bleeding finger a few times. It wasn't because I felt undecided. I knew I was going to do it. It was about the moment. About this divine reunion, against all odds. I'd been so sad for so long, maybe she was right after all. Everything happens for a reason, right? Was this the climax of my fate?

Yes, my mind was made up, but if I waited any longer there was a chance my body wouldn't follow through. I trusted her. I most certainly did not trust the universe and its fondness for creating chaos. Nor life’s infatuation with cruelty.

I acquiesced, albeit reluctantly.

“Ok. Alright. Screw it… I’ll do it.”

With one smooth motion I struck the mirror with the pointed end of the arrowhead towards the top of the mirror where the roses wove into her hair. Thousands of cracks appeared yet somehow it didn't shatter and fall into pieces.

Static. Hadn’t heard it for a while. It felt like it was coming from inside my own head. I brought both hands up to cover my ears and only made it a few paces before I dropped down to my knees and curled into a ball on the floor. Agony ripped through my entire body, concentrating in my heart.

"Ohh, Jah. Sweet, sweet Jah. At least your pathetic life could be ended with purpose."

Slowly I picked myself up off the ground in total disbelief. Kiana sat on a chair made of rose-stems floating a few inches above the coffin with one leg crossed over the other. She plucked the roses out of her hair one by one. Her touch caused them to disintegrate as she threw them off in a corner. Then she undid the remaining clips in her hair and let it fall, her eyes staring deeply into my soul the entire time.

I begged and pleaded for anyone or anything that might listen.

“Oh, no. Oh God, please no.”

Quick as a hummingbird she was upon me. I blinked a few times not quite registering how she moved so fast. Our bodies were mere centimeters away from each other as I stared straight into her eyes. They put me into a spell. With the hand she was holding mine with from earlier, she reached into my back pocket and pulled out the other item I had retrieved. An empty pocket mirror. With her treasure in hand, she kissed me on the cheek and backed away.

"When I like something, I like to take it away. It gives me a certain feeling. An empty despair that makes me feel... alive."

"My life is nothing but a cruel joke. Isn't it?"

With the ritual complete, Kiana had successfully traversed between worlds.

She paid me no attention as she walked over towards the cracked mirror. She talked while she walked.

"We'll always be together, just not in the way you probably imagined. No greater rush than taking the life of someone you care for. And you are the one I care for the most."

I was doomed. I wasn't in denial. Not anymore. This all seemed about right. At least I had a bit of sarcasm left in me.

"Well, you have an awfully screwed up way of showing it, y'know."

That hit a nerve.

"I see the way you look at me in judgement. You have no idea what it's like, do you, to--"

That confession caught me off guard even remiss of any elaboration. I wanted to press the issue, but I knew I'd get no further. She would never reveal her secrets. Not to me. Of course not to me. At this moment I felt ready for the worst. It wasn't like I had fully embraced life anyway. I'd been counting down the days 'till I'd be done with it all. That end compared to this end is probably the same thing, only different.

"It's not judgement. It's-- It's-- Nevermind. Whatever it is you're going to do to me, do it now. I'm ready to go now."

I kept my head down, trying to sound tough. In reality my heart was even more broken than before. Funny how some things can always get worse.

Kiana wasted no time, plucking a shard of the mirror and fitting it perfectly into the pocket one. The window was open slightly and an unwavering breeze from outside sent the curtains flying. Bright moonlight poured into the room the same moment she held out the mirror directly towards me. I had dropped to a seated position resting both my arms on my knees, somewhat relaxed all things considered. I looked into it. Deep into the mirror she held up to me. This time it actually did show my reflection.

My wrist demanded my attention as it started burning. It'd been a while now since I'd first put on the rosary. And it just so happened to be made from the same color roses as the ones that had been transferred over from the Mausoleum in the mirrored world. The rosary that had been given to me before Kiana passed.

"No way."

She must have caught on, judging by the way she was looking at me.

"Way."

I was speechless. The last thing I remember before she trapped my soul into the mirrored world was her singing.

"Silent night. Holy night. All is calm, and all is bright."