Say, Cheese!

L.C. Schäfer proposed that we should all here on Vocal write a microfiction for every day in 2024. No mean feat but I decided to rise to the challenge and limp to the finish line. Probably.

You can read about it here:

Prompt number twenty:

Today in Britain it is National Cheese Lover's Day. Write a story which includes cheese.

***

"There's no way you could catch that cheese! No way!" Tim could not believe his ears.

"How much do you want to bet?" Dan had had four beers, the height of the measuring scale for "Beer Confidence", where he believed that he could pretty much do anything asked of him at that moment in time.

"I bet you fifty quid that you won't make it," Tim said and held out his hand.

Dan shook it, without hesitation and said, "You owe me fifty quid."

*

The day arrived. Dan had done no training. How difficult could it be to run down a very steep hill chasing a very fast cheese?

You just had to be fearless.

"Oh shit," Dan thought. "I'm going to die today."

Tim slapped him on the back and said," Do you want to give me that fifty quid now so you're lighter running down?"

Dan toyed with the idea but young male pride has a stronger value than mortality and replied instead with a cocky, "Are you joking? You'd better get your wallet out!"

*

Dan gathered with the other participants at the top of the hill. His mother had wept that morning and immediately put her phone on charge so that she could answer the call from the hospital later that day.

The cheese was released and Dan found himself moving.

Then he was moving faster.

And then he was running and his legs weren't able to keep up with the pace that the cheese and the hill demanded and then, he was rolling like a cheese himself and then, he was by the cheese and grabbing the cheese and the grass was the sky and...

Black.

*

"Hey. Hey! What's your name?"

Dan opened his eyes and infront of him was the nicest face he had ever seen.

"Dan," he said, to the unknown girl in front of him. His head was pounding and his arms felt heavy, clamped as they were around something wheel-like and smelling slightly of gone-off milk.

"He's okay!" and Dan heard the cheer go up.

"Say, cheese!" and Dan smiled as she took a photo of him, the winner of a cheese rolling race.

And fifty quid.

***

365 words

Yes, below is a genuine video of people chasing after a cheese down a very steep hill to win the cheese. Yes, this does happen close to where I live. Yes, it is madness. Yes, people come from all over the world to do it. In fact, this year it was won by a Canadian woman. Yes, a Canadian woman. Yes, she did black out and yes, when she came to, she was the winner as she had, remarkably, managed to grab the cheese.

Thanks for stopping by! If you have read it, please do drop a comment and in this case, please do watch the video as I am pretty certain that you won't believe your eyes.

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