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Punchlined

The Vocal + Assist Unreliable Narrator Challenge 🤍

By TestPublished 8 months ago • Updated 7 months ago • 3 min read
11

This story is part of the Vocal + Assist on Facebook Unreliable Narrator Challenge. You can learn more about it here: (embed the URL to this post so others can click to this post for the official instructions). Here's the URL:

Ah, Jokersville, my delightful little home. Welcome. Welcome. A funny little place, where laughter is my currency. I, the Pied Fool, the supreme master of jest and joy. My reputation as the jocular tale teller is the stuff of legends, my tales absorbing into faces, channelling out the laughter lines of the townsfolk. Those crow’s feet around their eyes, They’re all mine. Every story I spill is brimming with twists, turns, and punchlines abound. They cannot ignore me, even if they wanted to. Yipee!

Tonight, this night of the auspicious moon I shall enthrall them and you. Come, Come. Huddle in now. Don’t be shy. That’s it, just a little closer.

There we are.

All snug. Sitting ducks. Part of the game. Part of the fun. Yipee!

"Listen carefully, dear friends, and ahem, others, for I shall feed a fiction so contorted and confluxing, it shall leave your heads spinning like a merry-go-round at the annual fair" My laugh tingles through the silver air. I like the way it sounds. Even if I do say so myself. Magestic some might say. Powerful.

"And so, without further ado - on to the legend of the extraordinary, tell tale umbrella whose spokes inhale the tales of man, springing secrets forth on rainy moonless skies for all to hear." They gasp at the thought. Oh, Oh the secrets they must hold! What joy! Yipee!

Of course, no story telling fiesta is complete without Vamoose the fiery dragon whose flamey breath will leave you hot under the collar. And out my evening shall play. Yippee! The greatest story spinner is me. I humbly must agree!

You laugh and clap like politicians at a caucus. Whooping and nodding, you hang on my every word. Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you? But that’s not all I’ve got you beautiful, beautiful people. My final tale is held in my deck of devilish Tarot cards. I shuffle them with pizzazz.

Here, here, take one if you will. Please, please. Any suit. No matter to me.

“The punchline you've all been waiting for!"

Oopsie. Let’s see…Where’d you go? No one can know. Yippee for me.! Clap little seals. Clap, clap!

All jest in jest and true, true, some more?

I pull a Fool. Oh there you go. And another. This time a queen. Old Mary Hodgins vanishes into steam. Yippee for me!

Getting anxious now I see...Who knew this could be so fun? Ha! Just a few more to make it stick

An Emperor. Goodie! Goodbye. Au revoir, Mayor Green. Hmmm a 2 of cups, which one of you could it mean? Ha. Of course. Farmer Gibbons. Wheat grower extraordinaire. See you later, cultivator. Yipee! Under the glaze of the auspicious moon, I’ve got a harvest of my own. Yipee!

Calm down. Calm down all. It’s just a bit of a joke. Undone? No need. You’ll see. They’ll be back tomorrow all in one piece. I promise you that. But the umbrella’s not the one from which they need to keep stum.

It’s me! Yipee!

Time for my final parting trick. Varmoose…

...

Back again. Did you miss me? They’re sleeping in their beds. Don’t you fret. Won’t remember a thing of where they’ve been or what they ahem. Said. But I know some secrets you don’t know. Wouldn’t you like to? Sure you would and you will my dear friends. Yipee!

But for now, with my painted smile and doleful eyes, i’ll wonderfully weave my wicked web of tales I’ll take tips before the rains of the moonless skies. Pay up my pay out, my dear listeners. Who knows what secrets are waiting to be told by me? Yipee!

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Microfiction
11

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Test

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