Pressed Flowers

Normal people had their diaries, I had a book of pressed flowers. In it were years of memories, both good and bad, accompanied by a flower. Each time I opened the book to add a new entry, I'd always read over the previous ones just to remember the feelings I had before the current day, to see my own personal growth.

My first entry, October 17, 2018. I remembered it clearly since journaling was still new to me at that point in my life.

A friend bought me a new journal today. She apologized for missing my birthday, but I couldn't be angry. She had been busy lately and needed to travel for work. My birthday isn't something I consider special, and she knew as much. I guess that's why she got me this journal. I don't hate it, but journaling was her hobby. Not mine. Oh well, I guess I'll give it a try. She did say to add my own personal touch to it, so I included a marigold I was given and pressed earlier today.

Adding my 'personal touch' that day is probably what started my habit. I always kept scrapbooks of flowers I pressed. It was soothing to me. People always called me "The Weird Flower Girl" for it, but I didn't mind. My neighbor actually appreciated my knowledge on flowers and always asked for my opinion when she started her seasonal garden. In return, she gave me a flower for my collection, even if I already had one pressed.

There was another entry I remembered vividly and mostly spoke of my neighbor. It was June of 2020 and she was the only person I really spoke to during that lockdown.

Miss Kate came over today, and boy was she in a mood. She was usually such a sweet old woman, but today she seemed furious. It was already after midnight, so I was surprised when she came over. But I didn't hesitate to ask her what was bothering her. I knew she had an older son and she was quick to tell me how he believed everything was a hoax. She told me how she got into huge argument with him over some block party he was attending. Or throwing? She wasn't too clear on the details when she told me.

I suggested we walked through her garden. This summer, she lined the pathways with lavender and had ornate pots filled with chamomile sitting on pedestals along the paths as well. And those are todays flowers: chamomile and lavender. Usually I only include one, but today, it only felt right to include both. After all, it's been a stressful few months for everyone, and both are used to relieve stress.

It wasn't the most pleasant of memories, but it was nice watching her relax during our walk. Especially as we discussed the latest episodes of our favorite TV dramas. We even talked about my journaling that day and how it was similar to keeping pressed flowers, but adding the day's memory to it.

As for today's entry? Another marigold. No significant memories to write down. All I wrote under the flower was: "I feel happy!". And that is how I truly felt. I didn't feel too stressed about day to day life. I had my health, my friends, and my neighbor. It only made sense to document this one little detail because I know in the future, it'll make me smile.

As for why I picked a marigold? I started this journal with one. It serves as a reminder that no matter what, to always be myself. Even if I'm doing something that seems silly at first glance to me. It reminds me that once I incorporate what makes me who I am, I'll find comfort in anything and everything that I do.